DBT: Core Mindfulness and Taking Control of Your Attention and Thoughts
Be curious about what you feel.
Just notice how you feel, without trying to make feelings stronger, or weaker, go away, or last longer.
See how long your feeling lasts, and if it changes.
Notice how feelings flow in and out of your body like waves. What comes through your senses? Touch, smell, sight, sound, taste.
Be like a non-stick pan, letting things slide off of your body and your emotions.
Use words to describe your experience
Non-judgmentally state the facts of the situation- use “fact” words, call a thought “just a thought”, call a feeling “just a feeling.”
Don’t paint a colorful picture with words, or magnify a situation with words. Try to avoid emotional words.
Try to let go of your emotions about being “right” or about someone else being “wrong” while searching for words to describe.
State the unstated- note the presence of feelings, beliefs, etc. that have not been voiced.
Get “lost” in an activity.
Let go of your sense of time while you are doing something.
Allow yourself to be natural in the situation.
Practice your skills until they become a part of you.
“HOW” Skills: Practice to use these all at the same time
SEE, BUT DON’T EVALUATE. Take a non-judgmental stance. Just the facts. Focus on the “what”, not the “good” or “bad”, the “terrible”, the “should” or “should not”.
UNGLUE YOUR OPINIONS from the facts, from the “who, what, when, and where.
ACCEPT each moment, each event as a blanket spread out on the lawn accepts both the rain and the sun, each leaf that falls upon it.
ACKNOWLEDGE the helpful, the wholesome, but don’t judge it. Acknowledge the harmful, the unwholesome, but don’t judge it.
When you find yourself judging, DON’T JUDGE YOUR JUDGING.
One Mindfully in the Moment:
DO ONE THING AT A TIME. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. When you are working, work. When you are in a group, or a conversation, focus your attention on the very moment you are in with the other person. Do each thing with all of your attention.
If other actions, thoughts, or strong feelings distract you, LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS and go back to what you are doing—again, and again, and again.
CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND. If you find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time.
FOCUS ON WHAT WORKS. Do what needs to be done in each situation in order to meet your larger goals. Stay away from thoughts of “right”, “wrong”, “should”, “should not”, “fair” and “unfair”.
PLAY BY THE RULES. Act as skillfully as you can, meeting the needs of the situation you are in, not the situation you WISH you were in.
LET GO of vengeance, useless anger, and righteousness that hurts you and doesn’t work.
