With The Lot

The endless search for the world's greatest burger.

[withthelot]

What: Hamburger (with the lot) $9.50

Where: Hoppy’s, Alice Springs

Extras: Being a takeaway store, they do good sized serves of chips, but this was a straight-up-burger kinda day.

Well? Hoppy’s Takeaway - or, as a beautiful vintage sign over the kitchen attested, “Hopkins Cash Store, est. 1959″ is just around the corner from me, and I’ve walked past it daily for nearing on 2 years, but never gone in. It looked like a cheap and nasty takeaway, frequented by tradies in need of their dim sim and Chiko Roll fix. So having dedicated myself to trying all this town’s “With the Lot” burgers, it seemed like a good start.

The inkjet-printed menu items blu tacked to the outside window and filthy PVC-strip door never inspired much confidence, but inside was a surprisingly different story. It smelled good for one thing; the pies were home-made, the sandwiches all looked appetising, and the beautiful 50s/60s hand-painted signage still held dominance amongst the garish Coca Cola panels.

And the burger? Well it took 10 minutes to come out - which suggests to me that some care went into its cooking and assembly. As poorly lit as the photo above may be, you can see that it’s definitely got the lot (bar pineapple, which I could take or leave on any given day). It had been so long since I’d had a takeaway shop WTL burger I was actually surprised by the bang-for-buck ratio. Even though the patty was a frozen prefab with onions scattered through it, the whole thing was juicy and enormously flavourful. The grilled onions in particular did a great job of cutting through; the saltiness of the bacon, the acidity of the beetroot, the fattiness of cheese, the well-toasted yet extremely fresh and squishy bun - it all worked together brilliantly, and held together extremely well.

Would definitely get again, and has renewed my enthusiasm for takeaway WTL burgers.

[withthelot]

WTL 2015

Has it really been [insert exaggerated length of time] since my last post? My, how the times do [insert verb]. And yet I live, breathe and consume burgers.

It feels a bit remiss that around the time I stopped posting was around the time that my obsession really picked up. I moved to Alice Springs with my partner in 2012, and being a small country town, didn't have a lot of exciting burger action going on. The one exception to that rule, a quirky circus-themed pub, was terribly inconsistent. They had a good range of menu options, fantastic chips, but sometimes you'd get a first-class burger, and other times you'd get a poorly constructed, overcooked mess on a stale bun.

I ate a few of these, took photos of all of them, with the intention of reviewing them. Ate at local pubs, had burgers, photographed them, even reviewed them... but never posted. Nothing was really worth talking about, even on a meaningless blog like this. So I started researching and cooking and researching and drinking and researching and cooking. Spent a weekend with my partner, her baking amazing gluten-free brioche and focaccia mini-buns, me mincing custom cuts in the food processor and fucking with recipes. Documented the entire weekend - photos, an essay-length writeup about what we did. That never got published either.

So that was two years ago, and since then I've failed to eat as many exciting burgers as I'd like. Notable exceptions aside, the quest for burger perfection goes on.

So, tumblr huh? I've noticed recently that there are a solid brigade of burgers reviewers out there, with Facebook pages, twitter handles, Instagram profiles (here's mine). Hey, maybe I was ahead of the curve, and gave up just as I was about to go big.

But fuck it, the blog's called "With the Lot" and Alice's cafes and restaurants don't tend to hold much interest, so I'm gonna try all the dirtiest, greasiest chipshop and servo burgers I can find in this town. There will be regrets - but there will also be reviews. Please standby...

[withthelot]

Katja's Kafe

What: Beef Burger (homemade) with Chili Jam $14.90

Where: Katja's Kafe, Todd Mall, Alice Springs NT

Extras: Katja's burgers come with "nachos" instead of fries, though as you can see in the photo above, it's just a handful of corn chips with sour cream and salsa to dip.

Well? Don't let the nature of the nachos mislead you - this is not a cheap prefab affair. Katja's is a fairly health-conscious cafe, and as a result I don't think they have any deep-fried options on their menu. The corn chips provide a nice crunchy counterpoint to the burger, which is surprisingly juicy and saucy.

The patty itself isn't anything to write home about - fairly lean with onion, chili and spices blended in, a little chewy but very receptive to the chili jam it comes slathered in. The Lebanese bread roll is lightly toasted to just the right crispness, but by the end gets a bit soggy and crumbly. You can't tell from the photo, but there's also a decent bed of salads, with raw Spanish onion, iceberg lettuce and lengths of lightly pickled cucumber.

Despite being unremarkable as a burger, the chili jam is a welcome and interesting addition. Much sweeter than I would have expected, and not much bite, but the flavour of the chilies comes through and the sweetness lends the thing deliciousness that it wouldn't otherwise have.

Final thoughts: They're not really nachos, whichever way you look at it, but never mind that. The burger is quite passable, but would benefit from a less lean, more juicy burger patty.

[withthelot]

Monsoons Bar & Restaurant

UPDATE: Went back again (mid-2012) and the patty wasn't as good. Thinner, dryer, etc. Still good, but no longer great.

What: Monsoons gourmet beef burger w/ Wagyu beef, caramelised onion, tomato, creamy aioli & rocket. $16.50

Where: Monsoons Bar & Restaurant, Darwin NT

Well? No shit, what we have right here is one of the finest examples of fine craftsmanship that could conceivably go into a burger. I've had a few good burgers in my life, but this easily falls within the top 3, and that's without really giving any thought to what the other 2 might be.

The Wagyu beef is just completely succulent and tender. Just melts in your mouth. It's even a little on the rare side to keep those juices in there. On top of that you've got a dense layer of caramelised onion, juicy tomato, crispy rocket and a fresh, full-egg aioli to top it off. The toasted Lebanese bun keeps everything contained, I barely spilled a drop consuming this, so what you see is exactly what goes into your gob, and it's a marvellous, marvellous thing.

There's a lot to be said for their beer-battered chips, too! Especially with a bit of aioli dipping sauce.

Final thoughts: DING DING DING, we have a winner. I could not conceivably recommend this burger enough, it just hits all the right notes. Granted it's far from the cheapest burger on the pub circuit, but this kind of quality is worth every penny.

[withthelot]

Kitty O'Sheas

UPDATE: Thankfully, this hive of scum and villainy has closed down. Hopefully the new Darwin Hotel can do better!

What: Kitty's Super Burger. Served with the lot. $13.90

Where: Kitty O'Sheas, Darwin NT

Well? Oh fuck, here we go again. The tasteless, undercooked chips were a dead giveaway. Here we once again have a burger that has bitten off more than it can chew, if you'll excuse the topical-yet-cheesy expression. What the photo above fails to capture is the massive piece of undercooked bacon hanging out of the back of the burger. It tasted fucking microwaved.

Yes, it's a very stock-standard Aussie "lot" burger, and as such contained egg, pineapple, bacon and beetroot, on top of the expected beef, lettuce, tomato and cheese. I pulled off a piece of the cheese at what point because I was so surprised to even see it there. It tasted like like a rubber eraser.

With each bite all I could taste was pineapple and microwaved bacon. I gave up less than half way through. Picking through the remains at a chunk of the beef pattie confirmed everything I already knew: chewy, overcooked and tasteless prefab.

Final thoughts: No. Fuck no. This might be the worst burger I've ever had.

[withthelot]

Soma Cafe

What: Camel Burger. $14.50 if I recall correctly.

Where: Soma Cafe, Todd Mall, Alice Springs NT

Well? Camel! Just bloody brilliant. Why hadn't I thought of a camel burger before? Camel meat can be utterly divine when well prepared, and the folks at Soma know what it takes.

The burger was made of simple, high quality ingredients, with a fresh Lebanese bun, crisp lettuce and juicy tomato, with a relish of deliciously caramelised onion and a nice garlicky tzatziki. The patty was moist, lightly seasoned and perfectly tender. The flavourful and unusual taste of camel made it stand out from what would otherwise have been a great burger, and push it into new territory.

Final thoughts: I guess some chips might've been nice, especially considering how much juice came of the burger itself - would've been perfect to dip. But the burger is a total winner, utterly delicious and with a unique flavour that you just wouldn't get elsewhere.

[withthelot]

Grill'd

What: Simply Grill'd, $8.90, plus cheese for $1.

Where: Grill'd, Eagle St. Pier, Brisbane.

Extras: Did I mention that a flimsy slice of cheese was a buck? Also shared a $5 serve of herb chips between 3 of us, plus sauce.

Well: Okay - this Grill'd joint is a chain. I mean, it's not the first "gourmet" burger chain in the world, but reviewing chain burgers was not my intent with this blog. Even a trendy burger chain with a trendy apostrophe instead of an 'e'. With that said, when you're being shouted dinner, complaints about the principle of the issue are neither wise nor appreciated.

This burger is the most simplistic of Grill'd's extensive menu, as the name might suggest, and like many simplified burgers, is all about the punch. Good ingredients well prepared are what this is all about, and it shows. Grilled lean but juicy beef, fresh salad, relish, herbed mayo and an overpriced slice of cheese on a sourdough bun and you really couldn't ask for more. Between the pattie, the relish and the herbed mayo it almost seemed too tasty for its component ingredients. I'm a little suspicious of foul-play there - unsure whether MSG would be out of the question. In any case, I was thoroughly surprised by how bloody good this burger tasted.

Final thoughts: Seriously can't fault it on price or taste. The gripe of paying a buck for a weedy slice of cheese is mostly redundant because all the other burgers seem to already come with cheese. The chips are damn fine too.

[withthelot]

Brewhouse Brisbane

What: "Brewhouse-made gourmet beef burger with egg, bacon, lettuce, cheese, tomato, pineapple, beetroot and caramelised onion with beer battered chips on the side." $16

Where: Brewhouse Brisbane, Woolloongabba (formerly the Clarence Corner Hotel)

Extras: Comes with beer battered chips.

History: When the Brewhouse closed down in the CBD, I was mortified. It had been my favourite place to go for a quiet afternoon pint of cider after buying a new book. I'd spent countless afternoons there - and even a few forgettable nights. It was loud, full of prats, had TV screens and projectors on every vertical surface and was obnoxiously loud, even when nearly empty. But damnit, it was a cool spot - an old, loft-style building overlooking an inner-city junction - and they brewed a fantastic variety of their own beers, in-house.

When I heard they'd re-opened in the old Clarence Corner I was thrilled - it's stumbling distance from my house and there would no-doubt be a few new beers to try. And when I discovered a "gourmet" burger on their menu, an afternoon was clearly going to be made of it.

Well: The beers were great. The chips too. The burger, on the other hand... fell apart almost instantly and was tasteless.

As you will have seen in the picture above, the chef obviously bit of more than s/he could chew. It was a violent mess within minutes and actually required cutlery to finish. Oh, the humiliation. Further, it's expensive, especially compared to some of the other burgers on the menu (the vego and steak burgers looked fantastic from what we saw at other tables).

Final thoughts: Go for the beer but avoid this burger at all costs.

[withthelot]

The Plaza Deck

What: Gourmet Burger (no further details given). $8.50.

Where: Plaza Deck Bar & Bistro, Woolloongabba.

Extras: Chips were $2 extra, and the place is licensed with a reasonable range of brews.

Well: With hangover in tow, this was a perfect match. The soft Lebanese bun was a very good start and the contents, while extremely simple, were very effective indeed. The salad was extremely crisp and the pattie rich, juicy and flavourful, with a good helping of barbecue and aoli to top it off. Maybe a bit heavy on breadcrumb in the pattie, but the inclusion of onion helped a good deal. And the chips were bloody good. Only thing I think would have helped would have been a light toasting of the bun to add firmness.

Final thoughts: A bloody good burger at a bloody good price. Highly recommended.

[withthelot]

The Boundary Hotel

Disclaimer: There was a photo of this burger shot on film. Waiting for development, but the review needed writing before alcohol erased all memory.

What: "The Boundary Burger". Look, the menu was fucking huge. I mean like 2 stories high. The burger sounded pretty fancy, but the specifics elude me. It was $14.50 I think.

Where: The Boundary Hotel, West End.

Extras: We were at a pub that provided $10 jugs of decent beer all-day on Sundays. That's pretty much why we were there - cheap Sunday sesh. But the burger came with chips and salad. Chips that were average.

Well? I was pretty drunk at this point. And you know how everything tastes better when you're drunk? This tasted average. A toasted bun and some fresh salad does not a good burger make. The pattie was solid - tasted of real meat and onion and probably not much else. And the raw onion was nice, but not quite appropriate. But the pattie was really slim, and a slim pattie is a dry pattie. And how to they compensate for it? Not with sauce, that's for sure. There was no sauce. None. Zilch. Zero. None. Nup. What the fuck happened here?

Final thoughts: No sauce? NO FUCKING SAUCE? Look, you can keep your raw Spanish onion and replace it with a bottle of MasterFoods tomato sauce - then we'll talk.

[withthelot]

The Redbrick Hotel

What: Burger, chips and a pot of beer for $9.90

Where: The Redbrick Hotel, Woolloongabba.

Extras: As above, chips and a pot of beer included. Chips weren't bad, but nothing to write home about.

Well? Quite a bit better than I was expecting for a $10 publunch. Could taste the cheese for a change, although the patty was a bit on the prefab side. Salads were extremely fresh and crisp. Very rudimentary burger otherwise - but considering the price and extras, a very solid all-rounder.

Final thoughts: Bloody bargain mate. Would have benefited from a home-made pattie. Couldn't ask for better value though.

Addendum: Revisited this burger more recently and the prefab flavour of the pattie had gone. Another thumbs up. The chips were lousy though.

[withthelot]

Purple Gorilla

What: The Purple Gorilla Buger. "Prime beef pattie, bacon, Mamma’s relish, tasty cheese, tomato, beetroot salsa, dill pickle, salad mix and aioli." $12.50 (chips extra).

Where: Purple Gorilla, Woolloongabba QLD

Extras: Chips were $4-5.50 extra. A fried egg or slice of pineapple were also available at $1 each, but not taken up this time.

Well? Prime beef is a bit of a stretch. Had a bit of a prefab flavour, but not much. Bacon was perfect - cut to the right thickness and with just a slight crunch. Cheese was flavourless - probably home brand or the like. Salads were fresh and crisp.

Starts to get interesting with the choice of condiments. The beetroot salsa was plentiful and extremely tasty. Not sure the recipe here, just seems to be diced beetroot, mildly pickled, yet I don't see the benefit over old fashioned sliced beetroot. The liberal dill pickles were also a treat - almost a rarity in a traditional Aussie "The Lot". But then, traditional this was not: aoli instead of tomato or BBQ sauce seems almost blasphemous. But it works a treat with the aforementioned condiments and the aoli dipping sauce for the chips, which were beer-battered and totally outstanding.

Final thoughts: Extremely solid, yet a bit pricey and somewhat over the top.