Ranking the Beatrice dedications because Lemony is the most dramatic person ever
To Beatrice-
My love flew like a butterfly
Until death swooped down like a bat
As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said:
Thatās the end of that.Ā
Iād vibe with a poem and I like the reference to bats but this is way too wordy, thereās no snap.Ā
To Beatrice-
When we met, my life began.
Soon afterward, yours ended.
This oneās snappier but I donāt vibe with the implication that Lemony met her just before she died, they knew each other for like 30 years.Ā
To Beatrice-
Our love broke my heart,
And stopped yours.
Again, nice and snappy, but what??? is this implication that Lemony killed Beatrice??? Lemony stop being so damn dramatic she died in a fire.Ā
To Beatrice-
My love for you shall live forever.
You, however, did not.
Simple, concise but unremarkable.Ā
To Beatrice-
Summer without you is as cold as winter.
Winter without you is even colder.
I love it when this man close-captions the obvious while being depressed, itās such a mood.Ā
To Beatrice-
I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.
To Beatrice-
You will always be in my heart,
in my mind,
and in your grave.
I like this one because it reads like a love poem while simultaneously being the bleakest thing anyoneās ever written.Ā
To Beatrice-
When we were together I felt breathless.
Now, you are.Ā
I know itās wrong to laugh at dedications to dead people, but Iām gonna do it anyways.Ā
To Beatrice-
We are like boats, passing in the night-
particularly you.
I like this one specifically for the implication that Beatrice died at nightā¦ which means she survived the Baudelaire fire and died at the masked ball.Ā
To Beatrice-
When we first met, you were pretty, and I was lonely.
Now, I am pretty lonely.
We stan antanaclastis (I think thatās the device, please sound off if itās not).Ā
To Beatrice-
No one could extinguish my love,
or your house.
The first indication that Beatrice was the Baudelaire mother and itās strangely stirring.Ā
To Beatrice-
Dead women tell no tales.
Sad men write them down.
Pirate vibes. Lemony also admitting that heās depressed, which is a step in the right direction.Ā
To Beatrice-Ā
Darling, dearest, dead.
CLASSIC. Snappy, short, gets to the point, completely devastating.Ā
To Beatrice-Ā
I cherished, you perished.Ā
The worldās been nightmarished.Ā
In which Lemony Snicket invents a word to write a dedication that is the perfect blend of heartbreaking and hilarious.Ā
origamiaround
romaincrisis
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dailybridgerton
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