Global Witches Oversight Assembly

Kinda sorta bureacratic assembly for making sure that witches do okay things. We meet up once a year at Margaret's and get drunk to make decisions about witchcraft.

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Tuesday, 14th of April 2026

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Ok i was busy, did something noteworthy happen?

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Tuesday, 14th of April 2026

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Got a real surprise for @wizard-shadow-league today

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Something terrible happened here....

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Got a real surprise for @wizard-shadow-league today

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

I cast

Unrebloggable Post

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

The easiest way to get people to do a thing is to tell them that they can't do the thing.

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

I cast

Unrebloggable Post

[draconym]

Bothers me when the distinction between Witch and Wizard is drawn according to gender. The Witch/Wizard distinction is one of class. Wizards live in towers and have cursed artifacts. Witches live in shacks and have crooked teeth.

[draconym]

Both witches and wizards can be evil, of course. But when a witch is evil they turn you into a frog. When a wizard is evil they try to tear a hole in reality or raise an undead army. You don't see witches doing that shit because they're working class.

[ecoeschatologist]

The witch is looked down upon because they are competition to the hierarchical work of wizardry; they present an alternative to state monopoly on magic.

[draconym]

Absolutely. Witches perform folk magic--you'd never catch a wizard getting overly preoccupied with practical magic like soothing ulcers or curing the flu, but witches are always brewing up stuff for those kinds of reasons.

Magic is like programming. When it's seen as practical and tedious, it's "women's work." When it's seen as academic and intellectual, you get a huge salary and an audience with the king.

[draconym]

"so why aren't there female wizards" because of sexism, duh. Women have been shut out of magical academia the same way they have been shut out of so many other kinds of academia.

Maleficent was absolutely an evil wizard. She has a castle. She has a staff. She shouts "FOOLS" in an especially wizardly way.

Mad Madam Mim was every bit as magical as Merlin, but she didn't have ambitions of--or access to--power. She's a witch.

[autumngracy]

Another distinction is that witches work with, and draw a substantial amount of their power, from nature, while wizards specialize in a sort of magical science that doesn't rely on and frequently flies in the face of nature.

Witches have respect for and rely on the land, life, and history around them, while wizards do almost exactly the opposite, treating nature and life as mere subjects for experimentation, and and frequently trying to "outdo" or "overcome" them (as well as history).

On the scale of vibes, witches are more akin to druids, priestesses, and creatures of folklore, and wizards are like the magical equivalent of mad scientists and sleep deprived university students surviving off chemical concoctions to keep them awake until their next breakthrough. One is inexorably tied to nature and tradition, and the other is trying their best to completely ignore and move past them.

Wizards are somewhat obsessed with being remembered for something, discovering something, gaining fame, gaining power, etc. Witches are content to stay in their lane and will frequently punish those who start getting a little too big for their britches.

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

The crooked teeth thing is a negative stereotype and we take offence to that!

Our insurance includes dental.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Spell that frees you from The News for 24hrs

when you encounter this spell you can close all tabs and silence all non-essential notifications related to the The News.

Additionally you have immunity to the 'Guilt' debuff when taking this action.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Seems like we might be needing this one again

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

“Women just want-“ yes! 😈 women must yearn perpetually! Because of the curse

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

....

We need to talk

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

There are NO wizards competing in the Olympics.

Humans are just some kinda freaks sometimes

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

There are 3 witches, though.

We will not disclose who.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Everybody STOP having a crisis, it’s now tea time

☕️☕️☕️🫖🍵🍵🍪

Pause all dread and catastrophe to have a cuppa and some cookies for the next 15-30 minutes

This is a wizard spell

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

🥣🥣🥣🥣🍜🍜🍜🍜🍜🍰

Also some nice warm bowls of soup for y'all for dinner, and a piece of cake for dessert because y'all deserve a little treat.

[misidentifying-animals-in-posts]

best animal names: fantasy edition

[duamuteffe]

@wizard-council-bureaucrat

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Yes I too have noticed the severe lack of beautiful creatures of this earth that could be named The Wizard Council Bureaucrat, some thing must be done!

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

I named my pet rock after you

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Tuesday, 14th of April 2026

[wizard-shadow-league]

Apparently the Wizard Council has cast "Transfer Lesbian Infestation" and now there are approximately 300 Knightresses in shining armor in our Secret League Headquarters and, uhm,....

Has anyone a suggestion what to do with them?

[wizard-shadow-league]

Actually it's been 600 but half of them went "getting a uhaul" or whatever and left, but i think they might come back

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

I have a suggestion

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

I CAST A 9TH LEVEL FORCEFEM ON YOUR WIZARD TOWER AND WIZARD HAT

COUNTERSPELL

I JUST got rid of the lesbian infestation I had from all the lady knights last time

I cannot have any sort of fem within 300m of my tower, or else they will come back

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Sorry how exactly did you get said Lesbian infestation?

Just so we know what... Not to do.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

I don NOT trust the big witch who makes the new year in her big witch caldron, but, I will try and stay optimistic

[cipheramnesia]

Why is she adding so much powder from the black box with a skull on it and little skulls form in the steam every time she adds more in?

That's good, right?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

In hindsight, it was not good

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

Hopefully this year she adds some liquid from the glittery bottle with the sparkles on it.

Honestly, I'd even just take a few dashes from the salt shaker with normal salt in it.

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Can you guys next time make the suggestions before we go grocery shopping?

[jame7t]

Waiter? For me, your yummiest slices of meats & cheeses. For the lady one yucky berry

[cryptotheism]

Berry Sized Cackling Evil Witch: you always know what to get me

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Waiter! Can you please quarantine these two? The sickening stench of romance is spoiling my surströmming

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Waiter! Can you quarantine the Wizard? His surströmming is spoiled by sweet witch romance.