wizard confessions

send me your wizardly (or otherwise magical) confessions anonymously | #unreality

[wizardconfessions]

Wizard Confessions ask box is OPEN

Send me your wizardly or otherwise magical confessions! It can be a spell you botched. It can be an AITA type advice ask. It can be a romantic missed connection type post. Go wild!

[whitepeopletwitter]

[wizardconfessions]

So I went on a 2 week family trip and I came back to most of my stuff stolen and a giant hole into one of my towers ?? Like someone drove their truck into it. They managed to take my son’s surprise birthday gift which was a limited edition flying broom which I’m really bummed out about. My crystal ball camera shows that a group a cylindrical robots were the thieves. I’m planning of leaving my personal frog chefs out to wander around in hopes of catching them. Is this ethical or is there a better way of dealing with this? (I’m not worried about property damage I’m confident that the chefs know how to clean up their messes)

Damn dude, I'm sorry. I've heard of these though, as well as the frog chefs put a big ass floating old man head in your house while you're out. Scares the shit out of these assholes, they fold like paper.

[wizardconfessions]

How would one cast a spell to put someone into a time loop like groundhog day

That's an incredibly advanced spell for someone of your caliber..... Time magic isn't something you just ask a mid twenties tumblr user to teach you in their ask box, you might fuck up really really bad. You might mess up the spiral or some shit :/

Also, you didn't hit anon LMAO. Everyone point and laugh!!! Report straight to sun tzu, cuz you failed the art of war and your opponent will see you coming from miles away!!!!! L + ratio + your plans are as bright as a blazing fire in the middle of the night and you fall like a feather

[wizardconfessions]

One time, when I just started to make my own spells. I was trying to cast a simple custom poison spell and accidentally disintegrated my neighbor’s familiar. Never told her what happened to it.

this is the only time I'll tolerate someone saying they accidentally did something, because I truly think you didn't know how toxic to make the poison and made it corrosive instead.

Also I'm sure the familiar might have been fine afterwards! depends on if it was an animal first or a magical construct first.

[wizardconfessions]

Re: rubiks cube anon

Already learned prestidigitation

sigh... this is just like mob psycho 100.......

[wizardconfessions]

I'm not comfortable sharing 'my life' with strangers. Please answer the question -Cylinder Anon

It's been a year since I received this ask. Dear reader, do you think Cylinder Anon is okay?

[wizardconfessions]

im at a magic academy and my assignment is to transmute a frog into a rat but the problem is i specialize in casting shit like fireball, not all this biology stuff so??? i just had my familiar catch a rat and im gonna cast a ball of smoke to distract everyone while i swap them out. will this work

Why are you as an evocation specialist doing transmuting? is it like a general education credit?

[wizardconfessions]

Okay so not a wizard, but a warlock on behalf of a wizard.

So I have a friend who’s been studying for awhile, started about 3 years ago on their own. Didn’t become an apprentice or anything, “just figured it out” (their words). I say that to explain that they’re very chaotic with their magic and regardless of the spell or intent, there’s always some destructive result involved somehow. Never turns out quite right.

With that whole sucking at proper magic thing, it bother them right? So they went on a forum to find someone willing to take an apprentice. Ever since they’ve had a habit of cackling and talking about mastering “dark arts” (I didn’t even know there was forbidden magic?) and becoming all powerful. It takes the whole group to get them out of their room, and there’s always the smell of what I can only describe as “petrichor but angry”. One of our mutual friends swears they heard screaming once.

Help??? They haven’t been taken up as an apprentice so there’s supposedly no master evil wizard or anything. We suspect maybe cursed artifacts or fucked up spells casted on self. What can we do? They’re starting to scare us a bit with how much they talk about immortality.

idk how much do you care about this person? you either have to bail or try to save them from their problem? or this is just how they are now and you have to accept it

[wizardconfessions]

PLEASE BOOP ME AND SEND ASKS

[wizardconfessions]

I killed a ladybug once and I’ll never recover.

what does this have to do with wizardry

[wizardconfessions]

Not cylinder anon, but similar issue. Help? Please?

I am so sorry cylinder anon and not cylinder anon, there's nothing I can do. Go to the doctor, they genuinely deal with this kind of thin all the time.

[wizardconfessions]

@ petrification anon. I a licensed wizard doctor 100% safe I can gargoyle enchant you NO RISKS I'm am a professional for the low low price of 340mln zł. contact me at wwww.100%safewizardforcheappricesNORISK.enchant.pl

For the last time, there's no such thing as a licensed wizard!!!!!!!!!! STOP TRYING TO MAKE MY FOLLOWERS ROCK HARD!!!

[wizardconfessions]

I've been plotting something... a murder, all for glory. I'm not a good person. It would be good for everyone on the island if I just kinda... y'know, died... nobody else knows it was me, but I can't handle the stress of knowing what I almost did. I can't stop thinking, so naturally, this leads me to the one coping mechanism I know: copious amounts of alcohol.

I'M JUST A WIZARDING BLOG???

[wizardconfessions]

ehm... things happened and i was turned into a statue for a few hours, the girl IMMEDIATELY tried to undo it but i think it fucked up the enchantment somehow and now every time i sleep instead i just turn to stone. it apologized a lot and promised me that it would pass in a month or so but actually i kind of like this (better sleep quality)... is there any way to get this effect long-term?

I feel like there are easier and non-magical ways to achieve better sleep that don't involve turning to stone, but maybe you should ask it what spell it cast? Or do a sleep study. Maybe you have sleep apnea and just need orthodontist work

[wizardconfessions]

Why. This isn't a joke to me, this is my life. -Cylinder Anon

I know it's your life. But would you make me the happiest wizard on earth by sharing your life with me? *gets down on one knee*

💍

[wizardconfessions]

I dont see how urination has anything to do with my trapped cylinder -Cylinder Anon

Cylinder Anon I am kissing you on the mouth. Do you want a summer wedding?