Funky

He/They/Them

[thepagangroup]

Deity of the Week- Hermes

Deity of the Week- Hermes

“I sing of Hermes Kyllenios (of Mt Kyllene), Argeiphontes (the Slayer of Argus), lord of Kyllene (Cyllene) and Arkadia rich in flocks, luck-bringing (eriones) messenger of the deathless gods (angelos athanaton). He was born of Maia, the daughter of Atlas, when she had made with Zeus,–a shy goddess she. Ever she avoided the throng of the blessed gods and lived in a shadowy cave, and there Kronion [Zeus] used to lie with the rich-tressed Nymphe at dead of night, while white-armed Hera lay bound in sweet sleep: and neither deathless god nor mortal man knew it. And so hail to you, Son of Zeus and Maia; with you I have begun: now I will turn to another song! Hail, Hermes, giver of grace (kharidotes), guide (diaktoros), and giver of good things (dotor eaon)!”- Homeric Hymn to Hermes

Hermes is the son of Zeus and his nymph mother, Maia, born from their love. He is the personal messenger to his father, and also to Hades. Classically, he is depicted as a young man both attractive and athletic, or as an older man with a beard. His most famous myth is the one where upon his birth, he creeps from his cradle and travels to where his brother Apollon holds his oxen and makes off with them. He typically shown wearing winged boots or sandles while holding a caduceus.

God of:

Hermes is a god of many attributes. His most common association is him as a trickster god, or a messenger god. While both are accurate and true, his associates are far more encompassing than that:

Animal husbandry

Roads and travel

Hospitality

Diplomacy

Trade

coins

Thievery

Language

Writing

luck

Athletic contests

Astronomy and astrology

Boundries

Guide of the dead

Magic

And so much more. No God has only one facet, and to limit them in such a way is to deign them what they truly are.

Correspondences:

Plants-

Crocus- a beautiful purple flowering plant

Strawberry trees

I would also argue any plant that can be associated with death or being laid to rest can also be associated with him, as he is a guide to the underworld and is one of the only beings able to freely pass between the land of the dead and the living.

Animals-

Cattle/oxen

Turtles/tortoise

Hawks

Any bird of omens

Rooster/cock

Rams

Hares

Snakes

Guard dogs

Occupations-

Some gods are the patrons of specific jobs, job fields and hobbies. A few for Hermes are

Bike messenger

Mail person/postal worker

Diviners

Mediums

Magicians/illusionists

Merchant

Hospitality workers

Hotel and inn keepers

Travel guides

Veterinarians and Vet Techs

Animal breeders

Herdsmen/cowboys/etc

Funeral directors

Diplomats

Bankers/bank tellers

Donation center workers

and so many more. And while I wouldn’t technically consider thievery an occupation, some might. In which cause he is also the god of professional thieves.

Colors-

Red

Purple

Silver

Gold

Copper

Most colors you would associated with trade, merchants, coin, plushness, etc.(SPG)

Black(UPG)

Grey(UPG)

White(UPG)

Most colors that can be associated with death or passing can be associated with him

Scents-

Lavender

Strawberries

Frankincense( A general all around good choice for all the Theoi)

The smell of ink and parchment/paper(SPG)

Stones-

Marble or Alabaster(UPG)

It’s not stones, but metals like copper, silver, gold- anything that is or was used to make currency

Offerings:

Incense

Honey

Olives or olive oil

Wine

Milk

Turtle shells or turtle shaped objects

Coins/currency/money

Written messages(SPG)

 Strawberries

Feathers(legal to own-let’s not get in trouble now)

dice

Devotional Activities:

There’s so many choices of devotional activities when it comes to Hermes.

Writing letters

Donating to homeless shelters or food pantries

Study animal husbandry

Become a magician/illusionist

Travel to another town/state/country

Try something that requires luck- cards, dice games, etc.

Learn about astronomy

Honor the dead

Learn about your ancestors

Study astrology

Pick up a sport

Workout/become athletic

Give a few coins to a homeless person

Learn other languages

Practice speaking

Learn to be diplomatic

A more modern twist to a devotional act would be to pick up merchant skills in a game, like mmorpgs. Or, avoid being a real life thief and become one in a game! There’s so many options, just let your imagination go wild.

~That’s all for deity of the week! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!~

-Artistic

[shootsniadders]

this is the best thing I’ve ever seen 10/10

[books-n-cleverness]

do you ever think about how the series of events that lead to Dumbledore’s death in HBP was literally set into motion by Oliver Wood’s passion for Quidditch

[books-n-cleverness]

okay but literally I can’t stop thinking about this -

it is of course possible that Draco would have gotten the Death Eaters into the school some other way if the Vanishing Cabinet hadn’t created the perfect opportunity, but it wasn’t looking likely.

so like, it’s reasonable enough to assume that Dumbledore’s death (at the hands of Snape specifically, obviously I know he was going to die soon enough from the curse, but the timing does make a difference so I’m still focused on this) occurred because of the Death Eaters getting into the school. the reason the Death Eaters were able to get into the school was because of the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement, which Draco repaired.

the Vanishing Cabinet ended up in the Room of Requirement over the summer of 1996, presumably (reasoning for this is in the next paragraph), and Draco discovered it there sometime in his 6th year. but the only reason he had even known what it was, and what it could do, was because he had spoken with….

Graham Montague, a Slytherin who was in 7th year in 1995-1996 (when Harry & co were in 5th year). Montague was shoved into the Vanishing Cabinet in that year by Fred and George Weasley, because he was a part of the Inquisitorial Squad and was presumably about to take points from the Weasley twins for doing something disruptive. and we know that Montague got stuck in a limbo between the two connected cabinets, due to one of them being broken - he could hear things being discussed in Borgin & Burkes, which is how he was able to let Malfoy know that the other “end of the tunnel”, or basically the other cabinet, was in Borgin & Burkes (which, Draco would already have seen as a 12-year-old, in the summer before his 2nd year, when he visited the shop with his father - fun fact, Harry hid in that exact cabinet while Lucius Malfoy was transacting with Borgin).

Montague would never have had this experience at all if the cabinet hadn’t been broken in the first place. but in fact, we know exactly how, when, why, and by whom the cabinet was broken.

it was in the fall of 1992, when Nearly Headless Nick observed that Harry had gotten in trouble with Filch, and prompted Peeves to drop that very same cabinet from a large height in order to cause a distraction for Filch, allowing Harry to get out of trouble.

why was Harry in trouble in the first place? because he was “tracking mud” in the corridors.

why was he tracking mud in the corridors? because Oliver Wood had had him out on the Quidditch pitch all day even though it had been literally storming outside. so Harry came into the castle drenched and splattered with mud.

Dumbledore literally died because of how obsessed Oliver Wood was with winning the Quidditch Cup.

thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[books-n-cleverness]

sorry, one more thing - people keep reblogging this with tags that imply they think that this is like a “headcanon” or just “plausible” and while I get why you would think that, I need you to really understand how canonical this is because it’s Very canonical which is Ridiculous

to clarify:

the bits about the Vanishing Cabinet being the only real way he had to get the Death Eaters in, having heard about it from Montague and how that made him realize he could use them as a passage, etc - that was all clearly laid out in HBP, chapter 27 (The Lightning-Struck Tower).

Montague being shoved into the cabinet takes place in OOTP, chapter 28 (Snape’s Worst Memory).

Draco seeing the cabinet and Harry being in the cabinet is all in CoS, chapter 4 (At Flourish and Blotts).

and the entire situation with the Quidditch practice and the mud and Harry getting in trouble and Nick getting Peeves to drop the cabinet is in CoS, chapter 8 (The Deathday Party).

it’s the lined-up-dominoes meme, and it’s ridiculous. and it’s all on the page.

[adeptarcanist]

It’s better than that.

Voldemort died because Harry was the master of the Elder Wand that Voldemort was trying to use.

Why was Harry the master? Because he overpowered its previous master, Draco, and won its allegiance.

Why was Draco master of the Elder Wand? Because he disarmed Dumbledore in the precise sequence being discussed, which relied on the vanishing cabinet.

Harry defeated Voldemort because of Oliver Wood’s passion for quidditch.

[rms-idiot]

Technically, Draco lead to Dumbledores death twice. Both by getting the death eaters into the castle but also because if it weren’t for him stealing Neville’s rememberall, Harry wouldnt have ended up on the team at all, and consequentially, getting mud through the corridors

[books-n-cleverness]

this is exactly the kind of hyper specific meme that I am here for!!!!

[batcii-archive-deactivated20210]

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

[hugisak]

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

[tattooedsiren]

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

[saywhatjessie]

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

[timemachineyeah]

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

[optimysticals]

Yes. Good.

[jukeboxemcsa]

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.

[holmesianscholar]

thisTHIS

[greymantledlady]

Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Yoooooooo gimmie

[wasabiskull-deactivated20191204]

my biggest pet peeve is when people write lupin as the wet blanket mom friend prefect type, like…did you read prisoner of azkaban tho??

literally shoots chewing gum up peeves’ nose 20 seconds into his first lesson ever

passive-aggressively puts snape’s boggart in drag after snape insults neville in front of his class 

and THEN, gives zero fucks about snape’s increasing rage as word gets around that HE DID THAT

speaking of gives zero fucks: gives zero fucks about trelawney’s attempts to crystal gaze for him

somehow miraculously bullshits his and harry’s way out of repercussions after snape catches harry with the map and has every right to put harry in detention for the rest of his life (AND he keeps composure while his teenage self is savagely badmouthing snape right in front of him, no less)

is prepared to straight up murder his former best friend in cold blood in front of 3 of his students and totally would have done it if not for harry’s intervention

gives harry the map back because, fuck it, he’s not a teacher anymore, give em hell, kid

like i get the whole tea/sweaters/laid-back-professor aesthetic, but remus lupin is a magnificently flawed and sometimes straight up terrifying character…he’s so much more than fandom’s portrayal of him as this mild-mannered, careful person, and i think that part of the reason he’s so interesting to me is that he seems just like that at first, but you have all this dark shit lurking just beneath the surface. one of my favorite moments in the entire series is when he goes into that extremely scary place and he’s about to murder peter, because you know that each DADA professor so far has had some dark secret, and even beyond the werewolf reveal, remus’ payoff is SO good. he’s such a good character honestly

[lobsterbang-deactivated20231129]

More badass Remus, please!

[actinganimagus]

Throwback to that time Remus straight up YEETS Harry into a wall in Deathly Hallows.

This wolf ain’t no bitch.

[incorrectaftg]

[hands you these] part 22

also, happy halloween 🎃

[incorrectaftg]

[hands you these] part 24

[incorrectaftg]

[kiiakostet]

The Foxhole Court, chapter 12

[maraudersmedia]

My first Mauraders Media just done for fun and then I decided to make a blog because of it! So here we are! Yay!

Remus’ texts today.

[dead-cherry-bitch]

I present to you: The dumbest thing I ever made. I galaxy brained so hard on this one. Hope you like it

[experienceplace]

[Id: colored sketch of Rainer from Taz: Graduation. She is a young woman, with light skin, long  blond hair, in a black witch hat.  She is smiling excitedly in her floating chair. There are strings of  led light attached to her floating chair, and some bags and many drawers. The chair design is full of whirls and it has pink cushions. end id]

[captainclovey]

Oughh I have such a strong mental image for Bud… just the biggest earthiest firbolg ever…  that pegasus scene took me out.  

 Thank you Justin for this friendly pal bud.. Argo and Himbo Fitzroy to come!

[janmenart]

these are a tentative first pass, but here’s my take on the boys so far! I think bud is my fave

[nightreadfox]

idea: Andrew's pov when Neil disappears from the bathroom after the first night in Eden's Twilight!

Way ahead of you Anon. [some context: during Andrew and Neil’s conversation in Eden’s twilight, Andrew tells Neil to: try to keep up. Hence Neil’s retaliation.] P.S this is so rough and needs a lot of editing I’m sorry in advance. 

[nightreadfox]

SO, I’m drafting a Foxhole Court script for fun…

I’m trying my hand at drafting an adaptation script and lord lemme tell you the Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic has so much film/ TV potential I am cryinggggg

[thejostenminyardrivalry]

plEASE LEAK THE REST WHEN IT’S DONE IM OBSESSED WITH THIS

[purmeka]

tfc hcs you should consider pt.2

dan laughs A LOT. she has a really loud, vibrant laugh and it makes it hard for anyone to stay angry at her for too long since it’s infectious 

sometimes the foxes get way too enthusiastic about knocking their sticks together that they either get stuck in a loop of repeatedly hitting at each other or end up pseudo sword fighting before wymack tells them to knock it off

aaron can handle the school labs that involve examining preserved cadavers and labeling organs but put a dead animal in front of him and he immediately turns green

kevin makes the best omelettes but a part of his soul withers whenever andrew piles on a huge handful of cheese onto his portion when kev cooks it for him

allison actually goes on to become a pro exy player, thanks

the upperclassman LOVE taking selfies obnoxiously cheesing it with the monsters unaware and looking morose in the background

some members of the track team occasionally come by neil’s dorm to ask him to go on a jog with them and he rarely turns them down

nicky and the twinyards are the only ones of the foxes that can ride a bike

nicky never lives this down 

‘‘I can’t believe Me, a humble backliner, is actually better at something than the Renowned Exy Striker, Kevin ‘The Queen’ Day???? What has the world come to?’’ 

‘‘I learned how to ride a bike last year, could you drop it already.’’

there are a lot of older women in some of aaron’s courses that are studying to become a RN and they tend to dote on him

everyone has seen matt with his hair not spiked up but they always act as if they don’t recognize him

“Hey Aaron, bathroom’s free if you need to use it”

“Who the fuck are you”

once when the foxes were playing at the trojans, alvarez offhandedly mentions her team’s record winning streak at paintball to matt and thus begins the intense paintabll rivalry between the foxes and trojans

it becomes so intense that they get enough attention on social media to start holding annual fundraisers through it

allison and neil are the daredevils of the team

they’ve kissed wymack on the cheek before and after practice like it was routine

allison has come up with and performed a dance number on the spot with dan when they were out shopping with nicky 

once, neil and allison crossdressed and went as each other’s date for an event. they looked amazing.

neil has willingly jumped into various bodies of water with all his clothes on (andrew hates it, he never lets him in the car when he does this)

the only bet that andrew has willingly participated in was whether he or matt could benchpress more

andrew beat him

allison and renee have done the chapstick challenge and it’s the most adorable video on their joint channel

speaking of, allison and renee run a youtube channel together, thanks.

allison mostly vlogs &does makeup reviews (renee also typically guest stars as the person allison puts makeup on or does her hair, for tutorials) they occasionally also do those couple tag videos (chubby bunny, vids where they answer fan questions together, doing makeovers on each other. they sometimes do a mukbang)

nicky is the only one out of the monsters that consistently uses snapchat and he laments about it all the time

but he also thanks his stars since he’d definitely be buried in columbia if the twins or kev ever saw the snaps he took

the snap stories he manages to make are legendary okay

there’s this one locker that no one uses at the foxhole court, and that no one knows the combination of to open so there’s constant speculation of what’s inside of it

allison: the other day i heard a phone ringing from inside of it

dan: you’re full of shit, how would a phone be in there for so long and not lose it’s battery?? mine loses it within the hour

allison: shut up, that’s ‘cause your phone is shit. i swear i heard it.

nicky: actually, i’m pretty sure wymack keeps his stash in there

aaron: no he fucking doesn’t, shut up nicky

nicky: ARE YOU SURE THOUGH? THINK ABOUT IT

dan: i bet the janitors just store cleaning supplies in there, you guys are putting too much thought into it

nicky: nooooo, c’mon, that’s not fun

allison: hey neil, you know how to crack locks, could you open the locker?

neil: … it’s not locked…….?

allison: no way, you’re lying

neil: for once i’m not

matt: FUCK HE’S RIGHT, IT’S OPEN