Okay so helppp. Everyone seems to have a hc that Draco and Harry are roommates in 8th year and when there’s Music and Moonlight and Love and Romance n all that ish and it’s trés cute but BUT. Nobody seems to have considered the concept of Weasel and Ferret sharing a dorm!? Pining!Harry, Pining!Draco, extremely stressed annoyed and hilarious Ron! Ron becomes matchmaker a la FGS MALFOY SHUT UP ABOUT HARRY FOR A SECOND WONT YOU and then they date and Ron is congratulated and bondingg and help me aa
OKAY but this is an amazing headcanon!!!!!!
Harry’s really jealous when roommates are assigned, because he wanted to room with Ron of COURSE, what are you talking about?? Why else would he possibly be upset??
Harry encourages Ron to bitch about Draco’s annoying habits because he’s dying to know exactly what it would be like to live with him
”Malfoy sleeps NAKED?! Fuck, that’s ho— aaah— horrible. I can’t believe you get to— I mean have to, yes, of course— live with that, Ron.”
Harry offers to trade rooms with Ron for a few nights a week because “that’s what friends are for, mate. If you have to suffer Malfoy’s pale skin and cock being on display, then I should get to— HAVE TO suffer it too.”
MEANWHILE Draco talks about Harry all the time.
”I bet you wish you were rooming with Potter instead, don’t you? Perfect Potter. He would be the worst roommate. He would throw his clothes all over my bed, and then I would be able to smell him for days on my pillow. Disgusting.”
But then one time at like three in the morning Draco randomly starts a genuine conversation with Ron about whether he thinks Potter has forgiven him.
Ron is like… “Uh, yeah, mate… I reckon so.”
”What makes you think that???”
”Well… he used to talk about all the evil things he thought you were up to, but now he mostly just talks about your hair”
”Oh…..” *long silence* “well I forgive him too, you know. For the Sectumsempra thing. So you can invite him to our room sometimes. I wouldn’t mind.”
Ron rolls over and is about to fall asleep when he realizes exactly what is happening here and just buries his head under his pillow and vows never to emerge
Only he does emerge and he invites Harry to his room
”Are you sure I should go now? Malfoy might be in there!”
”What if I see his cock??”
”You— what— uuuh. Well, then you’ll have seen his cock.”
So then Harry and Ron are hanging out on Ron’s bed while Draco studies at his desk. Until he gets up and announces he needs a nap.
Of course as we all know Draco sleeps naked, so he starts slowly stripping off his clothes
Harry is like drooling and making weird whimpering noises and just staring so blatantly it’s ridiculous.
Ron calmly stands up and walks out the door, shutting it behind him, and neither Harry nor Draco notice.
A few hours later, Harry asks Ron what he would think about rooming with Neville again
Ron is overjoyed, switches with Harry that very day, and he lives happily ever after
except he’s still regularly exposed to naked Malfoy (and Harry now) because those two have no shame at all and they are apparently “too busy” to bother with locks
