one of the most significant themes of the show is that people are more than their mistakes, and that is important because people who have been hurt very badly often make very serious mistakes because of the way pain has twisted their worldview into a knot. the thing that makes a mistake a mistake is that you didn't intend it. once it's been made, the most important thing is deciding what you do next; how you make up for it, and how you keep it from happening again.
arguably, Ragatha dropping the "you're trying to corrupt her" thing on Jax while he was making his first positive connection in ages is one of the things that causes the most on-screen harm in the entire show. she says it at the worst possible time, and what he hears is "you kill everyone that gets close to you and you'll do it to Pomni too", and that makes him think about Ribbit which makes him agree with Ragatha which makes him push Pomni away which sends him into a steep spiral he never recovers from. it's something Ragatha would have been able to tell was the most hurtful thing she could possibly say if she thought about it a little bit, but her own trauma made her terrified of allowing herself to feel negative emotions, which meant that when they inevitably built up anyway she had no experience with dealing with them and lashed out hard when her threshold was crossed.
and, with all that said, it would be ludicrous to say that Jax abstracting was Ragatha's fault. it was a mistake she made that hurt someone, and it piled on to a bunch of other hurt that was there, one straw too many on a camel's back. accidentally badly hurting Jax in that way does not make her a monster, or a bad person.
and very crucial to the whole narrative is that she is able to bring herself to believe that about herself, and so she survives. Jax, who made a serious mistake that hurt Ribbit in a way that was a huge contributor to their abstraction, was not able to believe that. he decided his mistake was all he would ever be, that he would inevitably make that mistake again, and took steps to ensure he never could. can't hurt someone that cares about you if everyone hates you instead. all of the harm he did in the show was based on that belief, and he never got past it, and it killed him.
point being; the most important thing when harm is being done is not deciding who is to blame, it is stopping the harm from being done. Jax would not have been hurting anyone if he was not so intently hurting himself, and it was something he could have healed from, and the very real ways in which he was awful does not make it less of a tragedy that he didn't.
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