We're All Mad Here. I'm Mad. Your Mad.

I cannot go back to yesterday because I was a different person then, you see?

[neckkiss]

Royal Palace.

[incorrect-marauders]

Lily: I love you so much.

James: I love you too.

Lily: This is real.

James: I know.

Lily: You're my husband.

James: You're my wife.

Lily: You married me in front of people.

James: I did, I was there.

[incorrect-marauders]

James: If you’re not in love with Marlene by now, you’re probably in love with Remus.

Sirius: Bold of you to assume I'm not in love with both.

[incorrect-marauders]

Lily: I’ve decided to trust you.

Sirius: A horrible decision, really.

[incorrect-marauders]

McGonagall: Miss Evans, why are you here? You don't even have detention.

Lily: Oh, I know, I just like coming here to sketch people in crisis.

[incorrect-marauders]

James: Well, this is a nice change of scenery.

Lily: It's a prison cell.

James: I was being sarcastic!

[incorrect-marauders]

Sirius: Evans does have a point.

Lily: Don’t agree with me. It makes me very uncomfortable.

[incorrect-marauders]

James: Now it’s time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Lily: (screams)

James: Look, I’m not sure where to go with that.

[incorrect-marauders]

Death Eater: We have your son.

Lily: I don’t have a son.

Death Eater: Then who just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made us cut the crusts off his PB&J?

Lily: Oh, Merlin.

Death Eater: What?

Lily: You have my husband!

[incorrect-marauders]

Sirius: We both look very handsome tonight.

Remus: You know, if you’d just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, “So do you.”

Sirius: I couldn’t take that chance.

[incorrect-marauders]

Remus: Good luck, babe.

Sirius: FUCK OFF!

[incorrect-marauders]

“I have forgotten what it’s like to not be an asshole.”

— James Potter, sometimes.

[incorrectmarauders]

Remus: Padfoot just created a group chat called Padfoot's Surprise Party and then left the group.

James: I'm feeling a lot of emotions...but mostly respect.

[royalswille]

James: They call me coffee because I grind so fine.

Remus: Oh my god.

Peter: They call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 a.m.

Remus: Stop.

Sirius: They call me coffee-

Remus: Please don’t.

Sirius: -because I’m dark and bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of who I am.

Remus: Oh.

[incorrectmarauders]

Sirius: What goes up but never comes down?

Walburga: The amount of stress you bring to this family.

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Peter: Being in a relationship is for people who don't realize that the taste of cheesecake brings the same amount of happiness as the touch of a lover.

[wizards]

mcgonagall whenever sirius does anything: way to go, mr black. the bar was set pretty low, but you found a shovel and tunneled underneath it.