Sometimes write fics, most times giggle and kick my feet and reblog other peopleâs work. Evil hearted smut lover, and a life long misandrist. đ¤â¨
Summary: he is scared that you are with him only because he is "famous" now.
Noah lay still in the quiet of the night, his arm around you, but his mind was miles away. He could feel your warmth beside him, the soft rise and fall of your breath, the comforting rhythm of your presence. Yet, despite all of that, a recurring heavy thought lingered in the back of his mind, gnawing at him, refusing to let go.
Why are you with me?
It was a question heâd never voiced aloud, but it echoed in his head. He couldnât help it. Since the moment things started getting serious between the two of you, that doubt had settled in his chest, slowly taking root. Sometimes, it felt like it was impossible to escape. He has his reasons, after all.
Do you really love me? Or just the idea of me?
Noah couldnât deny that he had been in this world of fame and recognition for a while now. He knew what it was like to have people swarm around him because of who he was, not necessarily because of who he was on the inside. And there were days when he wondered if thatâs all you sawâthe âfamousâ version of him, the one who was constantly on stage, surrounded by cameras and flashing lights.
He knew how easy it could be for people to be drawn to that, to the success, to the idea of being with someone whose name appeared on online articles and billboards.
Am I just the âfamous guyâ to you?
He tried to push the thought aside, tried to focus on the warmth of your body next to his, the soft sound of your breathing. But the more he thought about it, the more it gnawed at him. He knew you cared for him, but⌠what if that care wasnât for him at all? What if it was just for the version of him that the world saw? The version who had money and followers?
He had seen it beforeâpeople who wanted to be close to someone just because of their fame, their success, or the perks that came with it. And though he knew you werenât like that, a part of him couldnât shake the fear that maybe, just maybe, you had started seeing him differently.
What if you love me because Iâm "famous" now?
Noah swallowed hard, his throat tight. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he felt sick to his stomach. He didnât want that to be true. He didnât want to believe that the only reason you were with him was because of the world he was now a part of.
That thought made him feel small, even though everything around him told him he had achieved so much.
The silence in the room felt heavier now, the quiet moments between you both now filled with his thoughts. He didnât want to burden you with his doubts, didnât want to say anything out loud and ruin the perfect peace of the night. But the more he lay there, the more the question seemed to echo in his head.
Do you really see me, or do you see the fame? Do you really see me or just the guy who opened for Bring me the Horizon and Linkin Park?
It wasnât an easy question to ask himself, and it wasnât one he could answer on his own. He wanted to trust you, to believe in your love and the way you made him feel, but there was always that doubt, that fear deep down.
What if he wasnât enough for you unless he had the title, the recognition, the status that came with his name now?
He sighed, his mind racing through a thousand possibilities. He needed to know. He had to know if what you felt for him was real, or if it was just a passing attraction to something bigger than him. His chest tightened at the thought.
He glanced down at you, your face peaceful, unaware of the whirlwind inside him. He didnât want to disturb the quiet intimacy that filled the room but, damn it, he had to know.
Noah wasnât sure how long he could keep these doubts inside.
He called your name. Softly.
You lifted your head from his chest and looked up at him, noticing the distant look in his eyes, the furrow in his brow.
"Hey, whatâs going on?" you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness.
Noah hesitated for a moment before turning his gaze to meet yours, in the dark, his expression unreadable. "Why are you with me?"
You blinked, a little confused by the question. "What? What do you mean?" you asked.
He pulled his arm away from you, sitting up slightly in bed, still avoiding your gaze. "Just⌠answer the question, please."
The tone of his voice caught you off guard. You sat up a bit, propping yourself up on your elbow, trying to read the expression on his face. There was something in his eyes that made your heart ache. This wasnât the Noah many people got the chance to see.
"Baby, I donât understand," you said, your voice gentle but firm. "You know Iâm with you because I love you, right?"
He didnât respond immediately. Instead, he just stared at the ceiling laying again on his back now, and you could feel the weight of his doubt pressing on him.
You knew there was no point in brushing it off. So, you decided to answer his question, not just to calm his nerves, but because it was important for him to hear what was in your heart.
"Okay," you said softly, sitting up a little straighter, the blanket slipping off your shoulders. "If you really want me to answer, hereâs why Iâm with you."
Noah looked at you, his expression hesitant but curious. But he also looked scared, and that broke something in you.
"First of all," you began, your voice sweet but steady, "Iâm with you because you make me feel like Iâm enough. Like Iâm worthy of love and care, even on my bad days. The way you look at me when Iâm having a hard time, the way you listen when I talk, and how you always make me feel like I matterâthose are things I love."
Noahâs eyes softened, but he didnât interrupt. You could see a flicker of somethingârelief, maybeâstarting to show in his gaze.
"I'm with you," you continued, "because youâre also the most thoughtful person I know," you went on, your voice soft. "Itâs in the little thingsâlike how you always remember my favorite coffee order, or how you leave me little notes or texts just to check in on me. Youâve been there for me in ways no one else has, and thatâs something Iâll never take for granted."
Noah smiled faintly, the corners of his lips turning up just enough to show he was listening, but there was still that little hint of doubt in his eyes. You could feel itâhe wasnât completely convinced yet, but you werenât going to stop now.
"And I'm with you because I love how youâre always there for the people you care aboutâyour friends, your family. I know you would do anything for them, no questions asked. The way you always make time for the people you love, no matter how busy you get, it just shows how much heart you have. Youâre the kind of person whoâll drop everything to help someone you care about, and thatâs something I will always admire about you."
You could see the doubt in his eyes disappearing. You just wanted to hug him and cover him in kisses but first, you need to keep talking.
"And," you added, your voice quiet but firm, "I love the way you treat animals. I canât tell you how much it warms my heart to see how gentle and kind you are with Max and Harper, or even with Ruffiloâs cats. Thereâs this softness in you when youâre around themâthis tenderness that I donât think a lot of people even notice, but I do. It just reminds me that you have such a big heart."
Noahâs little smile deepened, a little laugh escaping him at the mention of the cats. He hadnât realized just how much you paid attention to those little moments.
"And maybe it's stupid but I really, really love the sound of your laugh," you continued, your voice soft and full of affection.
Noah didn't say anything but he was still listening, his gaze softening more with every word you said.
"Especially when youâre playing Animal Crossing and some other silly game, or when you say something ridiculous and make me laugh too or when we are cooking together and making a mess in the kitchen. Itâs so carefree and infectious, and it always brings a smile to my face no matter what. I love seeing you smile."
"And I also love how passionate you are about your music," you added. "The way you pour yourself into every song, how you can convey so many emotions and feelings in just a few minutesâitâs incredible. You put so much of yourself into your music, and itâs not just about the performance or the recognition. Itâs about expressing whatâs in your heart. And thatâs something I love and admire so much about you."
His lips parted slightly, and his breath caught in his chest, like he was trying to soak in everything you were saying.
You reached up to move a strand of hair from his forehead, the movement slow and gentle.
"And finally," you said, your voice full of warmth as you looked directly into his eyes, "Iâm with you because of the way you love me. You love me in a way thatâs gentle, patient, and kind. You see meâthe real meâand you accept me. You make me feel safe, Noah. I feel at home with you, more than Iâve ever felt with anyone."
Noahâs breath caught in his throat. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, overwhelmed by the all of your words.
"I'm sorry I had to ask," he whispered, "I donât know what to say⌠I justâthank you. I needed to hear that. Really."
You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, a couple on his cheek and jawline, and then to the corner of his mouth, feeling the weight of his doubt finally lift as a little smile appeared on his lips again as your lips left many little kisses on his skin. "You donât need to say anything. Or be sorry. Just know that Iâm here for you. The real you. The real Noah. My Noah. Always."
Noahâs arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer until you were both lying back down together, your bodies fitting perfectly against each other.
My Noah.
The way you said it was so sweet that after all your words, he was almost scared he would burst into tears like a baby.
"I love the way you love me too," he whispered, his voice full of tenderness, "and I love you. Always."
"I love you too."
After a few moments, as his hand gently traced patterns across your back and you ran your fingertips along his side, tracing the edges of the tattoos that you couldnât see in the dark but knew by heart, you both drifted into sleep.
đď¸ Please Take a Moment to Read Nadinâs Story
My name is Nadin. I never imagined I would write something like this. Iâve always been someone who kept her worries quiet, someone who believed that even the hardest days could be endured with patience and faith. But right now, I am reaching out â not because I want to, but because I need to.
I am a wife, a mother, and one of many women in Gaza trying to survive days that feel like they have no end. There was a short time â a brief ceasefire â where we thought things might start to heal. Where the sound of war faded for just long enough to let us breathe. But that moment is gone now, and the fear has returned louder than before.
My days are filled with uncertainty, and my nights with prayer. We have lost so much. Our home was damaged, our sense of safety taken from us. But through all of this, I try to keep going. I try to hold on to what little peace I can create with my hands, my words, and my love.
I am not asking for much. Just a little help to keep our lives from falling further apart. To fix the small things â a cracked wall, a leaking roof, the pieces of daily life that help us hold on to dignity.
This campaign isnât just about survival. Itâs about holding on to what makes us human in a place that keeps trying to take that away. Itâs about showing my daughter â even though I wonât mention her name here â that the world didnât forget us.
If youâve ever felt powerless in the face of suffering, please know that even the smallest gesture can carry great meaning. A kind word. A shared post. A quiet donation. These things remind us that weâre not alone.
My name is Nadin Iâm a mother, a wife, and just one of many women in Gaza who are trying to hold on â to hope, to our families, to any piece
I am still here. Still holding on. Still believing that people out there â people like you â still care.
Please, if you feel moved, consider supporting or sharing this campaign.
I just imagine Noah getting you tickets to Sabrina Carpenter cause you love her so much and he goes with you. You guys are right next to the stage and heâs got his arms around you and bops his head side to side, just happy to see you have so much fun. Here comes the arrest and she ends up calling Noah out and heâs the one that gets arrested. You giggle and smile through the rest of the concert and then youâre suddenly at home, hands tied behind your back with Noahâs fuzzy pink handcuffs he got.
standing in the kitchen naked eating cold pizza in the middle of the night with satoru bc youâve starved each other so bad (multiple rounds, multiple orgasms) but he makes you step on his feet bc the floor is cold and youâre barefoot <3
I just know that Noah is the type to make you keep your glasses on when you give him head, and when you are really into it and they are sliding off your face, heâll stop fucking into your face roughly, and gently push them up your nose for you.
I just imagine you being HEAVILY pregnant, like a week overdue and absolutely fucking miserable as one would be. You are lying cocooned in Noahâs bed wrapped up in his blankets and your pregnancy pillow he had bought for you early on. You are fed up, tired and your body hurt and you were just absolutely over being pregnant. Prior to being a lump in bed, you had a pretty bad meltdown while Noah knelt by the bed and brushed your matted hair away from your face, listening and comforting you the best he could. He knew how hard this pregnancy had been on your body, and he was so grateful your body could do this for him; giving him a baby that was part you and part him. He dreamed of this life for a long time.
Noah had asked if you were good with him streaming for an hour or so, and all you did was whine out a yes, and roll (trying to lift your body the best you could) to the other side.
You drifted in and out of sleep listening to Noah talk to the people watching. He had always been comfort for you. Even when you were unbelievably uncomfortable.
âOh no, Y/N hasnât had the baby yet. Iâm not gonna go into too many details but we are still waiting on the babyâs arrival.â
âOh⌠uh⌠yeah sheâs actually asleep right now and I donât want to wake her up.â
That caught your attention as he continued to gush about how amazing youâve been and how you are taking it like a champ.
â not asleepâ you mumbled grouchily.
He turned his chair and gave you a sweet smile.
âHi baby, everyoneâs asking about you. They are wanting to see you since it has been awhile since you were online.â He said warily, like he was poking a bear.
You grunted as you pushed yourself up and stuck your hands out for him to grab to drag you out of the bed.
He quickly told them to give him a second and hurried to you, grabbing your hands gently and hoisting you up to your feet. You groaned as gravity took over and your baby dropped lower into your pelvis.
Your face screwed up in pain, resting your hand under your belly where the baby was.
â you donât have to do this Y/N/N. They can waitâ
You shook your head and followed him back to his chair.
âDo you want to sit?â Noah asked, scooting the chair back to give you access to his lap and you shook your head again. You didnât want the viewers to see you struggle to get out of his lap.
You wrapped your arm over the top of his shoulders.
In all honestly, you looked an absolute mess. A pair of Noahâs joggers sat low on your waist and one of your tank tops that clearly donât fit you anymore, sat 5 or 6 inches above the waist band of the joggers, leaving your belly exposed. Your face was puffy with bags under your eyes, and tear stains from the hours of crying. Your hair was wrapped in a bun that resembled a rats nest.
Noah stared up at you with such adoration it took your breath away. You looked away from him and to the screen to read the chat and comments were FLYING
âOmg sheâs so bigâ
â you look miserable! How are you feeling?â
â is it a boy or a girlâ
â you are glowing!!!â
You leaned your hip against the chair and gave a sleepy smile. Everyone had been so kind to you since it had come out you and Noah were together.
Noah wrapped his arm around your waist, and placed his hand on your big belly, kissing the side of it.
Your heart was soaring. Or always did when you showed affection to your child.
â okay, okay, youâve seen her, she needs to go back to bed and get her rest before the baby comes.â
You said bye to everyone and placed a gentle kiss on top of Noahâs head. He grinned wildly as he went back to playing his game.
Two days later your water broke and you brought home a baby girl with thick dark hair just like dadđĽ˛đŠ
I just know that Noah is the type to make you keep your glasses on when you give him head, and when you are really into it and they are sliding off your face, heâll stop fucking into your face roughly, and gently push them up your nose for you.
Your foot tapped lightly as you slid the cap back onto the pregnancy test and flipped it upside down on the counter. Your heart pounded in your ears as you waited for one of two things to happen; one, the two minutes would be up to check the test or two, Noah would be there. You were ecstatic to see Noah. It had been 4 months since you had been to visit him on tour, and with the break coming up the first thing Noah wanted to do was see you so he could wrap you in his arms. You guys werenât necessarily TOGETHER, but you had known each other a few months and began to have sex when he had breaks in between tours. It was casual but also not casual. You saw each other exclusively, and texted and called everyday. You were both looking forward to this break, but this go around you may or may not have news for him. You were on birth control but since coming home from the two weeks you were on tour with him, you noticed that your period hadnât come on the days you took your sugar pills. One month went by, then the next, then the next, and then you stood today, waiting on the results. You and Noah hadnât even had the conversation of kids, especially because you werenât even together. There was no point in having that conversation with someone who may not be in your future.
You huffed, clicking open your phone to check the timer. 30 seconds left. You stared at the picture of you and Noah on your background, wondering what the outcome would be between the two of you.
Ding dong
You sucked in a sharp breath, meeting your eyes in the mirror. You grabbed the stick off the counter and pocketed it in your sweat pants. You didnât want to risk him having to come in to the bathroom and seeing it before you could talk about it with him.
You made your way to the door and swung it open, greet ed by the biggest smile on his face. His hands were on you in an instant; grabbing, rubbing and greeting
âHi. Oh my god Y/N, fuck I missed you so much.â
His lips were brushing over your cheek as you laugh. Turning your head toward him, he captures your lips in a searing kiss, grabbing your face gently with his large tattooed hands. You melted into his kiss as his hands wondered to your backside, where you were keeping the pregnancy test.
You popped back. â wait!â
He drew back slightly, a confused expression on his face.
âWhatâs wrong?â
â we need.. I mean.. can we talk?â
Anxiety crossed his face as you led him to the couch.
He sat his legs spread, with you on top of him straddling him.
â you okay? You look sick?â
You WERE sick. You were convinced youâd vomit at any point during this conversation.
â my period is late.â
His face turned blank.
â oh? Is that a symptom of the pill youre on?â
You took a deep breath, not breaking eye contact.
â 4 months lateâ
You could see his eyes searching your face, connecting the dots.
âWai-âI took a pregnancy test but I havenât looked yetâ you held it up in a shaky fist, while Noah eyes it like itâs going to explode.
âOkay.â He nodded, shifting you to where you can both look down on the test.
â ready?â You took a deep breath, closing your eyes momentarily.
You open them a CRACK and immediately gasp and shut them because â PREGNANT 3+â Glared up at you.
Tears burn your eyes as you shake your head. You sneak a peak at Noah and heâs staring at the test with a deadpan look on his face. You couldnât read his face, but the anxiety quickly dissipated because you were suddenly going to puke from all the adrenaline.
â Iâm gonna-â before he could respond, you were off his lap and sprinting to the bathroom.
After several minutes of puking you felt Noahâs strong hands brush your hair back and rub down your back soothingly.
You were kind of surprised he was still here.
After a few more minutes you sat up and flushed the toilet. Noah handed you a bottle of water and helped you to your feet. Your pregnancy test sat next to where he leaned against the counter. You groaned.
â we need to call and get you an appointment.â Noah brushed the hair out of your face.
Tears burned your eyes as you nodded.
â weâre having a baby.â You whispered. You werenât even sure you wanted a baby.
He caressed your cheeks with his thumbs quietly as you both processed the information.
You werenât sure what you guys were gonna do but everything would be okay if you had him.
All I can picture is you being someone who is giggly and fun and you are dating the grumpy Levi Ackerman so one evening heâs sitting at his desk in your shared room, slaving away to paperwork like always when you began whining that you want his attention as you sat on the couch a few feet from him.
âLeeeeeeeeeâ
No answer.
âHoneyyyyâ he paused a moment giving you a slight
âHmâ as he continued paper work.
â daddy.â You said innocently but your growing mischievous smile painted your face.
Levi froze, and you could practically see the disgust on his face by the time he turns his head completely toward you.
â donât ever call me that again, Bratâ
You break into hysterical laughter as he gives you a deadpan look
I love reading a good dominant Levi fic but also for me I donât picture him that way. I can only imagine how soft he is with you. His entire life has been pain and fighting, why would he want that in his sex life? No I picture him being as gentle with you as he possibly can, making sure the only thing that he pulls out of you are cries of pleasure. Instead of spanking you and being rough with you, he runs his rough hands all over your soft body, whispering sweet praises about how good you feel and how you were made for him. He feels so thankful that instead of bringing pain to you, youâre underneath him wriggling in pleasure. I also picture you being his first and vice versa. You are learning what you like together, and of course he has a natural talent for it. Heâs a stoic man but he canât help the way he whimpers into your neck when he first pushes in to your wetness.
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