summary: and they were roommates…
word count: 6k
an: more parts up on my patreon and they are next to be updated.
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this is a follow up to this
+++
YN will fully blame her pre-heat, looking back at the events of the morning.
She cannot believe that she walked around an angry alpha barely dressed, taunted him, and casually bared her neck.
It was starting to worry her that she didn’t put enough consideration into the idea of how her alpha roommate would affect her heat disorder.
YN was only a week and a half into her month of preheat but she feels like the symptoms were stronger now that his rich, deep scent lingered on every inch of the apartment.
She truly despised this knothead, know it all alpha.
YN also desperately wants to be held tightly in his arms.
She needed a nap.
++
YN decides that she needs a night out with Niall.
She breaks her own cardinal rule of not drinking during preheat because of the way she acts.
YN’s become aggressive in the past, not necessarily physically but just like how she gets during heat, she almost becomes a feral, wild creature like their ancestors instead of the normal, calm, sweet girl she was.
Niall wouldn’t have agreed to go out with her or at least offered her shots if he knew that she was in pre-heat so she purposefully failed to mention that was one of the reasons she had been so stressed out recently.
The bar is fine, it’s not crowded because it’s a work night.
Niall didn’t care if he had work the next morning, he was always down for a good time and swore that he’s not once experienced a hangover.
By the time that Niall has walked YN to the hallway of her apartment, he watches from near the elevator to make sure that she unlocks the door and gets inside safely before he turns to get back in the lift to go home.
YN wasn’t as drunk as she was at the bar but she would still deem that she was over the line of being buzzed as she shut the door a bit too harshly before fumbling to lock it with a bit of a struggle.
It takes her a moment, as she rests her hand up against the wall to unstrap her heels to realize that there are new scents in their apartment.
Not only that but a distinct semi-sweet scent of an omega, who YN doesn’t recognize by scent nor wants it her home, let alone the other betas.
The film of fury starts to develop over her vision, only exaggerated by the tequila still pumping through her veins and altering her state of mind, on top of the hormonal changes as her body shifts to go through her cycle.
When she steps further into the apartment, YN spots a small group of people in the living room with drinks, snacks, and everything swiped from her coffee table.
It was nicely stacked and set aside near the television but all YN could see was that her safe space had been fucked with.
She couldn’t even smell Harry that well with everybody in the mix and that triggered her even more into a sense of insecurity.
Though logically YN wouldn’t call Harry her alpha, her omega has already identified him as hers or at least a potential alpha for her for heat, and the fact that his scent was not currently oozing through every inch of their living space was alarming.
They were playing a somewhat complex looking board game that YN had never seen before, all laughing and joking easily, having a good time.
YN focuses on the omega instantly.
She’s has thick-framed glasses that took up most of her face, tangled curls thrown into a messy bun, and tattoos that covered nearly every inch of visible skin.
Her scent was mediocre at best, at least to YN’s nose, and though this girl had never done anything to her - YN already felt a strong sense of anger and jealously that she even had the audacity to step into her apartment, her safety from the world.
The omega wasn’t even sitting near Harry.
Harry had two betas on either side of him, their shoulders bumping casually from trying to squeeze in around their coffee table but any physical contact with her alpha- with Harry was just completely unacceptable right now
Everyone’s eyes dart up to YN, most of them have friendly smiles on their faces.
YN realizes that Harry had been smiling and it had really been the first time she had seen that from him, he surprisingly enough had dimples.
However, when he looks up from his stack of cards, the smile fades into something stormier, something she was much more used to seeing.
YN vision feels blurry for a moment, blinking harshly, and desperately trying to simmer the rage that was starting to boil over.
When the omega slips her glasses up into her hair, she leans over to hand Harry a card from her deck, and she whispers something low enough YN can’t hear.
If she was in her right mind, she would realize that it had something to do with the game that they were playing but it felt like a threat.
YN’s voice is tight, shaking because she wants to get physical but knows she can’t, knows it’s not right but she’s never gotten this hostile before.
“Get out of my house,” YN hisses and even though it’s directly at everyone, her eyes are glued onto the omega who rightfully looks startled.
Harry stands up, chest puffed and shoulders as broad as possible, and looking a hundred thousand percent like the alpha of her dreams.
“YN,” His voice is firm, not quite at an alpha timbre but not too far off, he sensed the true threat, and realized this could go very bad.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” YN screeched louder, her chest was heaving and she knew her eyes were wide and erratic as they darted around to keep an eye on every person in her house.
“Hey,” Harry’s voice warns, stepping out of the group and closer to her, “I will have everyone leave but you’re not going to be aggressive like this. They’re not doing anything to endanger you.”
YN bares her teeth at him, upset that he’s not protecting her safe space for her.
How could he not see that they’re ruining everything?
“Get them out!” YN waves her hand toward the door sharply, kicking a pair of shoes in their vicinity for good measure.
“Settle down now,” Harry booms louder, finally in his alpha tone, and it’s something that quite literally flips a switch in her mind to obey.
YN blinks at him, suddenly feeling heavy like there were weights in her limbs as she stills snarls but doesn’t emit any noises further towards the guests.
The anger dissipates and is fully replaced with despair.
It’s not something that has ever happened before but then again, this was the first time that she had ever had an alpha in her life.
YN doesn’t melt though, not when Harry wraps his fingers securely around her wrist, and tells his friends, “I’m going to take her back to her bedroom. See yourselves out. I’ll contact you all in the morning to reschedule.”
YN doesn’t want to go to her room until they’re fully out of her house but when she hesitates in the entryway, Harry tugs at her, still gruff and alpha when he snaps, “Let’s go, now.”
She follows, albeit unwillingly and still fucking too buzzed to fully process anything that was going on in these last minutes.
Harry opens her bedroom door, nostrils flaring whether it’s from his disdain for her scent or just agitation - most likely a mixture of most
“Stay here until I say so,” Harry demands, in his typical bossy alpha way as he nudges her into her now open bedroom door.
“It’s my apartment,” YN nearly growled at him, eyes narrowed.
“It is also my apartment as well,” Harry points out, calm and emotionless as ever, “And you acting like a feral, unregulated little pup isn’t going to fly with me.”
YN feels like it’s an insult to her value as an omega.
It makes her want to shrink and become unreasonably small.
She already felt that way compared to him.
When Harry moves to shut her door as he leaves, she can’t help but bite out, “Knothead.”
Harry shakes his head in annoyance but only reminds her once more, “Stay here.”
YN ignores him, after he shuts the door, YN decides it’s time to change out of her form-fitting outfit and into something much more comfortable.
All she can think about though is that the feeling that her apartment, her safe space for her head, has been disturbed, and she’s going to have to fix it or she won’t be able to sleep.
She didn’t get a good enough look to know what’s out of place or not but she can guess things were moved around and touched.
YN changes into a soft pajama shorts and a cropped tee, nearly bouncing on her feet for the confirmation that all of the intruders have left her house.
If she wasn’t buzzed and in pre-heat in the presence of the first alpha she’d ever really known, she would have probably joined in the game or conversation.
All bets were off during the lead up to her cycle.
Once the door cracks open, Harry doesn’t peek his head in or anything but simply rumbles, “Everyone is gone.”
He doesn’t say anything else before she can hear him walking the few steps to his bedroom and shutting the door harshly.
YN feels like a live wire is in her veins as she exits her bedroom, eyes trying to go everywhere at once but instantly focus in on the game that’s still laid out on the coffee table.
She doesn’t care in that moment that she might be messing things up as she starts to shuffle all the pieces back into the box with a bit of unnecessary urgency.
But before she even gets half-way done with that, she realizes that someone has moved Beatrice’s box of toys to the wrong corner of the room.
Her little metallic crinkle balls, her fish on a string, all of them were splayed out over the floor, and not nicely tucked away as YN had left them.
Then she realizes that the visitors had been using her throw blankets which means they automatically had to get rewashed first thing tomorrow.
YN threw the three blankets in a pile near the entryway, she didn’t even realize that there were tears streaming down her cheeks instantly.
Harry pads back down the hallway as she is re-entering the living room, that same annoying scowl on his face, and tense body language.
“You don’t have to prove this point to me. I would have cleaned all these things up once you went to sleep,” Harry huffs out as YN moves a chair back to its original place at her dining room table.
YN isn’t proving a point though
She’s trying to fix her safe space that he had so carelessly destroyed.
Harry moves towards the coffee table to clean up the rest of the board game but YN snaps at him first.
“You already disrupted enough! Let me clean this up! Don’t touch anything else!” YN is half yelling, half begging at this point.
“Why are you being so fuckin’ difficult with me? Ever since you walked in the front door,” Harry throws his arms up, “Is it because I had people over without asking? I didn’t know I needed your permission.”
His tone is triggering, his stance, his scent.
YN was starting to think that there has been great reasons now to steer clear of stupid fucking alphas.
YN bristles at him because there’s something about the way he’s acting that makes her skin itchy.
He was the alpha, she was the omega.
They’ve established that and he should know that this isn’t normal for any omega without some type of disorder.
YN wonders if Harry has any mate-like instincts or if he truly is unbothered by the way she acts because he doesn’t give an ounce of care about her.
She decides the best thing she can do right now is ignore him completely as she continues to tuck the decorative pillows back in their spots.
Harry is waiting for a response but realizes after a moment of heavy silence that he wasn’t going to be receiving one from her.
“If it was an issue, I am not a fuckin’ mind reader,” Harry continues on, volume loud enough that it pricks at her ears sharply, “If there was a problem with it, you need to be an adult and communicate.”
YN drops the pillow she was just about to place, eyes burning near fire as she snarls at him, loudly and frustrated now.
“I did tell you!” YN raises her voice, vocal cords straining because yelling for her was a rare occurrence that almost never happened, “You should have have some fucking alpha instincts or is there just too much testosterone in you to have common sense?”
Harry growls louder than before, at the insult of his secondary gender, no alpha wanted to be questioned on their abilities.
YN keeps on before he can respond, “I have been in pre-heat for the last week and a half. You knew that! You knew that I was struggling to sleep, feeling restless, and upset. Did you not?”
Harry’s jaw twitches, his throat bobbing as he swallows, his eyes darting guilty to the side for a moment before focusing back on her, “I did.”
“You knew I’m struggling through my pre-heat and you brought a group of people here? Unfamiliar people? An omega in my home?” YN breaks down, the rage leaving her body and tears flooding in instead.
The tension in Harry’s body starts to fade as he realizes what he’s done and he has the decency to look properly remorseful as she cries.
“My safe space doesn’t feel safe anymore,” YN sniffles as she pulls the collar of her shirt to cover her face, her vulnerability as she sobs, “You took away my safe space then yelled at me for being upset about it.”
“YN, I -“ Harry begins, his tone had softened ten-fold and his shoulders were relaxed, chest not as puffed up and intimidating.
YN shakes her head, wiping her eyes with the fabric before letting it drop again, “I need to go to my room. I need to be in my nest unless you’ve invited them to lay in there too?”
It was rhetorical and she didn’t give him a chance to reply either way as she storms passed him, avoiding his shoulder just barely to get to her room.
YN shuts her bedroom door, making sure that he can hear the lock distinctly as a warning, and relieve floods through her when she looks at her bed.
Her nest is perfectly as she left it if Beatrice was curled up to the left corner, and probably had been the whole time the group of people were here.
She had already been in her room when Harry marched her in here but she had been so frazzled that she could only think about getting out there to clean, not a thought to her nest.
Beatrice was the friendliest cat once she warmed up but until then she was anxious and tended to tuck herself somewhere away from noise.
YN’s already dressed for bed and readily crawls into her nest to bunker down under the layers of soft blankets and comfy sweaters.
She hates that it reaches underneath her pillow for Harry’s shirt that still had a decent amount of his rich scent on it to make her feel warm and fuzzy in a different way.
YN’s mind starts to wander, when he brought her back here, did he look at her nest?
Alphas should know that it is highly disrespectful and inappropriate to view an omega’s nest without their expressed consent and permission.
However, Harry was the rudest, most off-putting alpha that has ever walked the face of the earth which leaves her anxious that he did look.
If YN would have known that Harry would see it, she would have spent hours building a much prettier one, more constructed, bigger.
Her pre-heat and heat nests however were more about comfort than ability and appearance.
They were sloppy, hastily put together, and usually a wreck from how much YN tossed and turned in her sleep during these times.
YN surprisingly sleeps well once again because of her nose being tucked into a fabric carrying the most delicious scent she had ever smelled.
But she wakes up earlier than usual, especially because she was off work for the rest of the week because of the issues at their office and it was Tuesday.
She should be sleeping in.
YN doesn’t forget that Harry gets up earlier than her by a long shot and is out the door by the time her alarm goes off but she checks her clock.
She staggers to her door, moving to unlock the knob but when she glances down she notices her door is already unlocked.
YN doesn’t remember getting up at any point but with how much alcohol she had consumed the night before, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had gotten up to pee.
YN is dreading walking into the hallway to be met with the disappointing smell of all the random betas that had been over here.
Worst of all, the omega who’s scent would likely linger, and be more sensitive to her nose because of the insinuated threat of competition.
However, when she steps out, most of the lights are still off and it’s still completely dark outside which makes the dim lamp in the living room give some illumination.
YN doesn’t smell anything but Harry.
Like insanely, all encompassing Harry.
It was the best thing she’s ever woken up to.
When she pads into the main area, she notices that the apartment is a hundred percent back to normal, everything rearranged perfectly.
Not only that but it was even more spotless than before.
Most importantly, Harry must have rescented the whole apartment and marked it as his territory which maybe should make YN mad but it just brings her back to the feelings of being safe.
YN is blinking rapidly, eyes watering from relief as she runs her hand across a neatly folded throw blanket on the back of her couch.
It takes her a minute to realize it hasn’t just been scented but washed completely along with the other blankets that were tucked neatly into their basket by the couch.
“I should have asked before I marked the entire apartment. My…alpha went into a bit of overdrive after our conversation last night,” Harry’s voice interrupts the silence from the kitchen, it was low enough that it didn’t make her jump.
YN turns her head to look at him, he’s dressed in gym gear with a loose fitting black tee that doesn’t do justice to his defined body shape, mid thigh black running shorts, and black tennis shoes with crew socks.
He looked big, intimidating, and every bit of the angry alpha that he has shown in the past to her but he wasn’t posturing, he was leaning against the counter and sipping a protein shake from his shaker bottle.
“I…” YN shakes her head as she looks around, in awe that the alpha actually listened and did something kind for her that maybe he wasn’t the complete knothead she thought he was, “It’s okay. It feels safe again.”
“Even with my scent?” Harry clarifies, wariness in his expression as he watches her, eyes always focused and clear from under his dark lashes.
“I've never had an alpha in my proximity. It makes me feel safer and I like your scent. It really upset me when I could barely smell you when I got home last night,” YN doesn’t know where this honesty is coming from and isn’t sure whether she should regret it or not.
Harry has the same flash of guilt cross his face and that’s when YN realizes just how exhausted he appears with puffiness under his eyes, darker than usual coloring.
“It must have taken you a long time to do all this. You even did laundry and I know it takes ages for those dryers to actually dry anything heavier than a sock,” YN murmurs as she gives another glance around.
Harry rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, his hair was in a high bun, and his jawline was like something of a sculpture.
YN was still struggling to come to terms with the idea that this alpha was her flat mate, Niall never mentioned how impossibly handsome he is or devastatingly all dominant, primal alpha.
Maybe as a beta he truly didn’t notice.
Niall could be quite oblivious.
“I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes. I wasn’t thinking about how new scents in the house would affect your pre-heat,” Harry admits, his voice is still somewhat flat but it seemed genuine enough, “I am a good alpha.”
YN is a bit taken aback by his words.
It was the cadence of the way he spoke them.
Like he was trying to prove it to her.
“You should get some sleep before work,” YN defers the topic and from the twitch of Harry’s jaw - his annoyance too because he wanted validation.
He was being a good alpha but it was a little too late in this scenario.
“I have to get to the gym to train,” Harry shakes his head, swigging down the last of what was in his bottle before moving to wash it out.
“You can’t take a day off?”
“No,” Harry replies, simple and firm, “You should be the one getting back to sleep. You don’t have work today. You should rest, your body has been incredibly stressed out.”
“I’ll probably sleep the whole day now,” YN laughs but it’s the truth, she almost wants to move to the couch after he leaves to be more more enmeshed in his scent.
“The striped knit blanket in the basket, you might want to not use that one,” Harry tells her before he directly focuses on scrubbing his plastic cup.
“Did you not wash it?” Maybe it still smells like omega or beta.
“I did,” Harry blinks at her, frowning like he doesn’t want to answer but is being forced, “I just…it’s drenched in my scent. My alpha was unsettled so probably want to let it air out and lose the scent a bit first.”
“Okay,” YN replies easily because that means that after he leaves it will be the first one that she’s going to wrap herself into like a burrrito.
“Okay?” Harry repeats back, skeptical and sharp, “I don’t understand how all these betas and one omega triggers you so incredibly much while I can just stink up and claim this whole apartment with no issue.”
YN almost physically sees Harry start to put his guard up, hackles up and brows knitting downward to cause the wrinkle above his nose.
“It makes me feel safe, you…um, make me feel that way too,” YN admits, all to honest again, and she wonders why she is opening up to a brick wall.
Harry’s jaw twitches, eyes unreadable as he nods, “Okay.”
YN wants to laugh at his robotic, stiff response to such a major compliment.
She may be taunting a bull but she has to try.
Harry had just hung the dish towel back on the oven handle when YN walks into the kitchen and straight at him, not giving him a chance to move before she’s wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging him.
A major part of her expects him to push her off, scoff at her, or to even just stiffen up to the point that it would feel like hugging a scarecrow.
But Harry, she was learning was absolutely full of surprises and he doesn’t do any of those things.
He doesn’t exactly soften but he does something that nearly stops her heart, he puts his hand on the nape of her neck which is a very intimate thing.
“You’re fine. You need to figure out how to control your disorder, it must be miserable living like that twice a year. Go get some sleep now,” Harry rumbles as he administers the lightest squeeze to that spot his hand was on.
YN purrs.
Her eyes widen and she flinched.
“Did you just-?” Harry begins to ask, voice getting rougher.
“Have a good day at the gym and work!” YN squirms out of his hold and hightails it to the bedroom, shutting the door quickly.
On her retreat, she swears that she hears Harry huffs out in a mixture of annoyance and humor, “Silly pup.”
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remember in School of Rock where the black girl was afraid to say she wanted to be a singer because she was fat and didn’t want to get laughed at but Dewey was all “who gives a shit, I’m fat too and so is aretha franklin but we’re still valuable and we rock” and then the girl felt better without having to be told that beauty comes in all sizes or some other bullshit. thats the kind of body positivity I’m looking for. tell these babies that they’re worth a damn without tying it to any other arbitrary ideals
Also like. when she asks him why he isn’t on a diet. and you just know she has heard this dumb “tip” a million times before (“just go on a diet!” “if you really apply yourself you can easily use x amount of weight!” “you just don’t want it enough!”)
& Dewey just
there’s nothing wrong! with liking food! and being hungry! you don’t need to starve yourself to fit into some bs aesthetic! eat food!
Also that he cited a fat black woman singer specifically as it was the black girl who asked. gave her a direct representation of someone just like herself instead of citing anyone else
✨ possible bangchan x reader (f), possible jungkook x reader (f)
✨ head on over to my masterlist if you haven’t checked out the previous chapters!
✨wc: ~5.5k
✨ friends to lovers? possible love triangle? obsession? angst and future smut??? a little fluff.
✨ summary: JYP Entertainment launches a new show and y/n somehow gets recruited. Even though she doesn’t particularly care about the outcome of the show, she does particularly care about one of the artists she met: Chris from Stray Kids. Does Chris feel the same or will a potential relationship with one of his friends overcome what y/n feels for him?
✨ warnings: cursing from time to time, smut!!!! 🔞
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Previous Chapter Recap:
“What is it with her? I don’t know what kind of game she’s playing, but trust me, you’ll want to get out of it. Don’t come crying to me when you realize that.”
“What are you talking about?” Chan responded, crossing his brows.
“Listen, we can sit here and play ‘fake nice’ all we want, but we all know what I said about her earlier was true. From personal experience, trust me when I say I know what she’s up to with him. He may be your friend, but I promise you, I know way more about what he does than you do. You can paint Y/N as whatever character you want, but at the end of the day, she’s just his sloppy seconds. At least I have the courage to say it to her.”
Chan felt his head begin to spin. What did she mean by that? Sloppy seconds?
“Please, just go,” was all Chan could respond with.
After standing and observing him for a few more seconds, Jenna finally crosses her arms and huffed. “Whatever, but just know that you better not play favorites tomorrow. It would be pretty embarrassing on your end.” She gave one final eyebrow raise before turning on her heels to jet out the door.
Chan could do nothing but stand there, desperately trying to make sense of the information she’d given him.
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Note: Character relations you can refer back to if needed.
Y/n- Changbin’s mentee
Anna- best friend, Felix’s mentee
Kara- Seungmin’s mentee
Sunnie- Han’s mentee
Mindi- Hyunjin’s mentee
Nisha- Lee Know’s mentee
Alyssa- Jeongin’s mentee
Jenna- Chan’s mentee
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Friday, 10 PM
Y/N’s POV:
You smiled a big goofy smile while kicking your feet up in bed.
“Quit texting Jungkook and go to sleep,” you heard Anna yell playfully from the other bed.
“I’m just saying goodnight,” you replied, bringing your voice up and sticking your tongue out at her.
At that, you started to blush, but not necessarily from embarrassment. More from not being able to swallow down the fluttery feelings that were coming from your stomach. This was all too good to be true.
Well you did. Everyone did. They planned another group dinner for everyone to go to. Although you weren’t sure how well it would go after everyone is getting evaluated tomorrow. You were praying to the gods that everyone did well and there’d be no drama afterwards.
‘Who knows, I could get so torn up after tomorrow that I don’t even make it to eat.’
You let out a lovey-dovey sigh before resting your phone on the bed next to you. Feeling full suddenly- full on what, you weren’t sure- you grabbed onto your pillow and held it tightly to your chest. You squeezed and squeezed, never wanting to forget the way you did in this moment. With so much hope.
———————————————————————
Saturday, 5 PM
Y/N’s POV:
Your heart had been pounding so rigorously that you were sure you’d pass out. Thud after thud after thud in your chest. But all of that stopped once the curtains rose and the lights hit you. Both you and Anna had been dolled up by the makeup team to the point that you barely recognized yourself. You looked good and felt good. All you had to do now was make the performance good. You zoned out and let yourself fall into the song.
Before you knew it, you were belting every note, hitting every motion, and harmonizing perfectly with Anna. For those three and a half minutes, the two of you focused solely on bringing the emotions out of the other and letting yourself truly melt into the role. It wasn’t until you’d both hit the final, ending high note that you allowed yourself to fall out of it and see what was going on around you.
There were claps already erupting from around the stage. Your peers had all jumped up at the ending note and were cheering you both on as you followed it out, finishing strong. You watched in shock as you registered the judging panel in front of you, consisting of JYP, Chan, and two men you’d seen before with the show but hadn’t remembered their names. JYP himself was giving you a standing ovation. Chan’s eyes were fixated on you.
You and Anna looked at each other giddily, as if you’d already been given the best news you could ever receive. You both scooted closer to each other to grab hands and squeeze, bringing your hands up and then back down for a large bow. It was cheesy, but fitting, you thought. You both smiled big at each other as you waited for the cheers to calm.
“Good job,” Anna mouthed to you with the biggest, whitest smile you’d ever seen.
“You too,” you smiled back.
“Girls,” JYP started jovially, holding both of his arms out. “That was just wonderful. Really really wonderful. I mean…” he brought his hands back in so he could clap them together again. “You know, I normally sit up here and tell people what I need to see from them to be able to make them an idol. What they could do better on. But you girls…” he dropped his head down with a soft chuckle. He shook his head in disbelief. “You girls are already there,” he grinned, looking you both in the eyes. “I have nothing else,” he said, looking down at the panel of the other judges. “I loved it. It was beautiful. It was heartfelt. It was everything I could have hoped for it to be. I’ve got nothing,” he commented happily before taking his seat again. He motioned his arm out toward the three beside him.
Chan was next in line. For some reason, he looked like he was about to puke. Wasn’t it you who should be doing that?
He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, not for a second. He just continued to look. Continued to stare until it was almost uncomfortable.
Finally, he coughed something up. “I agree. You could tell there was a lot of emotion put into it. From both of you,” he looked back and forth between you and Anna before resting back on you. “It was a really good performance, and I’m really proud of how hard you both have worked.” He ended with a small grin, finally prying his eyes from your frame.
You didn’t have a moment to think before the next two judges began to speak. One noted how personable the song was, while the other said that he only wished you’d both been a little less fluid with your movements (whatever that meant). Overall, you were both elated and clung to each other excitedly as you exited the stage to watch the rest of the performances.
Kara had paired with Mindi, giving a traditional “cutesy” girl group vibe, which the judges said wasn’t very original but was very well executed. Nisha and Sunnie performed a super empowering song that had a lot of sexy elements to it, which really stood out and they were highly praised for it with only a few criticisms. You giggled as you watched Chan try to give constructive criticism in a way that wouldn’t sound mean. You could tell he hated having to give any feedback at all. Jenna and Alyssa also performed very well, as much as you hated to admit it. Their song was strong. Stronger than you’d expected. But then again, you couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was Chan’s doing. They did have some negative comments on shaky vocals, but overall it was a good evaluation. As much as you weren’t a fan of the two girls (Jenna mostly, Alyssa was really just guilty by association), you were glad that everyone did seemingly well, and you could have a nice day off tomorrow with no drama.
“Will all of you please come back on the stage?” JYP had announced once each group had been evaluated. Satisfied, you rose from your seat and headed up the stairs to stand back in the spotlight that lit the center of the platform.
“I must say…” JYP continued, looking down at a note pad. “I’m very impressed with this group. You’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time… Normally, this would be the point that I would have to really sit here and think about who has what it takes to carry on.” He cleared his throat. “But after watching your performances, I don’t think I will have to make that decision today. I would like to continue each of you in this program,” he smiled.
You watched as the girls, all lined up in a row exchanged looks and animated smiles left and right. You sent a congratulatory one with a nod as well. As your eyes fell back on the panel of judges, you watched as Chan’s eyes settled onto your face, his expression softening as he gave you a big grin. It was the first time in a long time that you caught a glimpse of the Channie you thought you knew.
“Now, the judges and I have already commented on what you need to work on. I want you to take the day off tomorrow to relax and reset, but please keep in mind what you need to work on. I hope to see improvement by your next evaluation.” He gave one final smile before bowing slightly. You all mirrored his actions, going into deep bows as your signal that the assessment was complete.
You hugged some of the girls necks as you exchanged “congratulations” and compliments on how well they performed. To your luck, Jenna had already left the stage and you wouldn’t be forced to exchange any performative words. All of the SKZ boys followed suit and joined the group of you that had congregated on the stage.
“There’s my mentee,” Changbin said excited, rushing up behind you. He shook your shoulders gently before giving you a hug. “You did so good!!!” Bin was an expressive guy, but this was the most excited you’d ever seen him.
You laughed out loud at his enthusiasm as you hugged him back, gripping him tightly. “Thanks Binnie, I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I know that’s right,” he said jokingly as he pulled his arms away.
To your left, Felix had found Anna and was exchanging the same compliments. They both turned to you as Changbin addressed the whole group.
“I shouldn’t say it, but I don’t care. The guys were all so impressed with you two. Everyone said your song was the best one of the night… Don’t tell anyone else I said that though,” Bin said, looking around to see if anyone had overheard him, still giggly. “I feel like a proud parent,” he added, all giddy.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Anna said, reaching in to give Changbin a hug too.
“The part he’s leaving out is where he definitely tried to take all the credit,” Felix laughed.
“Hey! That is not what happened!” Changbin laugh-yelled back.
“Oh really Binnie? Are you sure? That doesn’t sound like you at alllll,” you joked sarcastically, smiling at him to let him know you were just playing.
“No, no, what I said was… Well I did agree that it was because of me, I guess he’s right, but I was KIDDING,” Changbin defended himself.
“Don’t worry, I let them know you guys really just have massive talent and that it didn’t have anything to do with me or this meathead,” Felix lightly slapped Changbin on the head.
As the two continued to bicker, you felt two fingers tap the back of your shoulder. You almost couldn’t believe it when you spun around to see Chan standing in front of you, still with a big beaming grin on his face.
“You did really good out there. I know I already said it on stage, but I wanted to tell you personally,” he offered up. He sounded almost… hopeful?
“Thank you,” you smiled at him, still unsure what to make of his change in demeanor.
“Yeah, of course,” Chan cleared his throat. “Umm, I was wondering if you were going to the dinner after this? With everyone?”
What is he up to?
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you answered cheerily, acting like nothing about this exchange was strange at all.
“Okay cool, I was gonna go too. I guess I’ll see you there then, yeah?”
“Sure, I’ll see ya there,” you replied with a smile.
‘Well if that wasn’t one of the weirdest and most forced conversations I’ve had…’ you thought as Chan walked off. ‘Maybe he realized he doesn’t have to be so hard on me, so he’d easing off a bit?’ It didn’t make sense, but you decided that nothing in your life really did over these past couple of weeks.
You used the opportunity of silence to grab your phone from your pocket and text Jungkook the name of the restaurant and around what time you thought you’d be ready for him to pick you up. You couldn’t wait for him to talk about what was going on with Chan. See if maybe this is what he’d been talking about.
———————————————————————
Saturday, 8:16 PM
Y/N’s POV:
You doubled over laughing as Kara opened her mouth wide, panting, before grabbing her glass of water to chug. Seungmin had bet her 20,000 won that she wouldn’t be able to down the entire gob of wasabi that was on her plate. Apparently, he was wrong, and now Kara was 20,000 won richer. She definitely had tears forming in her eyes, but at least she got something out of it.
A waiter came over, brining a large bottle of soju and several shot glasses.
“Ahhhh, thank you,” Changbin said, accepting the items graciously before turning toward the group. “Alright, let’s get this party started, ah?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows up.
“Changbin rich,” you heard Lee Know call from the other side of the group. You didn’t know much about soju, but from examining the bottle, it seemed to be one of the higher-end brands.
“Only the best for my team of winners!” he exclaimed jokingly.
The group had a laugh and a few more jabs before beginning to talk amongst themselves as Changbin began pouring the liquid into each glass. You turned your phone over on the table to check the time.
’Damn, it’s almost 8:30.’ The time you’d told Jungkook to pick you up. You didn’t quite feel like drinking anyway, so you weren’t too bothered. You were sure you wouldn’t mind once you got to be with Jungkook.
“Hey Bin, I’ve gotta leave soon, so I’m not gonna drink, okay?” you stated, still wanting confirmation.
Changbin paused from sending another shot glass down the row of people. “Come on, not even one shot? Just one? Then we can let you go,” Changbin pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
You shook your head smiling. “Okay fineeee, I guess one won’t kill me,” you gave in.
“Woo woo,” Felix said, fist bumping the air. He’d already downed a bottle of soju during dinner and you could tell he was feeling the effects. A few of the others, including Chan, had gotten drinks as well… and boy, did it show. Talk about lightweights.
Once Changbin finished passing the glasses, he turned to Chan. “Would our leader like to lead us in a toast?”
Chan, obviously feeling a bit looser than before, put on a big smile as he held up his glass. “To the best mentors and mentees in all of Korea,” he said sloppily, giggling lightly at himself.
Everyone raised their glasses in unison, clinking them together before throwing their heads back and to the side to knock down the shot.
As soon as you felt the burn in your throat, you intently disciplined yourself to not gag for fear it would actually come back up. Instead, you coughed a bit.
“Jesus, how strong is this?!” you questioned, looking at Changbin. You watched as he spun the bottle around to read the label.
“35%,” he said with big eyes.
You knew it. That shit was double the alcohol content of what you’d normally get in soju.
“So you basically made me do two shots instead of one,” you said with a smirk.
“To be honest, I didn’t know. I just knew it was fancy, so I ordered it,” he admitted… to no one’s surprise.
“Give me another,” Chan said, reaching his glass over to rest in front of Changbin.
“Woah, woah slow down,” Changbin said. “I was thinking about starting a drinking game.”
“Okay, well give me another, and then we’ll start the game,” Chan said again, definitely feeling lighter.
“Oooo Channie-hyung is going all in tonight!” Felix laughed. “Give me one too!” he said before reaching his glass in next to Chan’s.
“Okay, okay,” Changbin said as he began filling the glasses. “But I’m not taking care of either of you if you get sick tonight!”
“Hell, I’ll take care of him if it means I get to experience the fucked up version of Chan,” Seungmin teased.
You checked your phone one final time before seeing the numbers 8:27 flash across your screen. “Alright guys, I’d better go,” you said, ready to stand. Everyone returned back their small waves and goodbyes.
“Be careful! What are you rushing off to anyway?” Felix asked as he knocked his drink back.
“Oh I’m just going to see a friend,” you said, playing off the embarrassment you felt by standing up.
“Ooooo,” Kara said teasingly. “Anyone special?” she winked.
“No,” you rolled your eyes as you smiled, trying to sound light-hearted. “Now,” you said, taking a step back and to the side. “You all be good and please don’t get too crazy. Someone watch over these two,” you laughed, pointing at Chan and Felix.
After waving goodbye, you stooped down to whisper to Anna. “Remember I’m just gonna be with Jungkook. Please text me later when you get home. I just wanna know you made it safe.”
“You know I’ll be fine,” he smiled, leaning in to give you a hug.
As you turned to leave, you heard Chan’s voice behind you. “Wait! Y/n, are you walking alone?”
You turned back shyly, wishing he hadn’t asked. “Oh, uh no-“ you stumbled a bit. “No, I’m just gonna wait outside for my ride.”
“Well here,” Chan said, springing up from his seat and rushing over to where you stood. “I’ll wait with you. Don’t want you to have to be alone,” he slurred. His cheeks were flushed pink from the alcohol. You knew that that’s what all of this had to be about. He was already drunk.
“Chan really, it’s okay,” you said, holding your hands up to let him know he could back away.
“No, no I insist,” he said dramatically, linking his arm in yours before beginning to pull you towards the door. You found his newfound antics funny and laughed happily as you waved a final goodbye to your friends. You followed willingly as Chan led you through the door and outside to the cold air, where you had hoped Jungkook would already be waiting on you.
As you stood for a moment looking around, his car was nowhere to be found and no text yet. So there you stood in the silence with Chan. Great.
“So where are you going?” Chan asked, still clinging to your arm, his voice sounding free and without a care in the world.
“Oh nowhere really.” You wondered for a moment if you could use this time to be level-headed with him. “Why the sudden interest?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve always had interest,” he looked off, sounding more serious now. “Really, where are you going?” he stared into your eyes.
“Well, if you must know, I’m actually going to hang out with Jungkook… Sorry if this is weird,” you backed away from him for a moment. “I know he’s your friend. I don’t know if he’s said anything but…” you looked down before looking back up, putting a hopeful smile on your face.
When Chan didn’t respond, only looking off, you took that as your cue to keep talking. Was he really shocked? You tried to mull it over. “Thank you for introducing us by the way. He’s a really cool guy. I can see why you guys are friends,” you offered up a sheepish smile.
You watched as Chan stumbled a bit, trying to take a step toward you to link arms with you once again. “That’s what I was afraid of. Listen Y/N,” he leaned in closer. “Just be careful with him. He’s uhh… He’s a good friend, you know? But he can be a bit persuasive sometimes.” He whispered at the last part.
“What are you talking about?”
“I just don’t want you getting into anything you can’t get out of… Or feel like there’s anything you have to do for him. That’s all,” Chan looked at you deep in your eyes. You recognized the look he was giving you. It was pity… and maybe a bit of condescendence?
“Do you think I’m-?” You stopped for a moment, backing up from Chan once more. You let out a laugh in disbelief. “You think I’m fucking Jungkook?” You shook your head, irritated smile on your face, as you watched Chan’s face go blank. Like he didn’t expect you to come out and say the actual words.
“Seems like you’ve been talking to Jenna quite a bit, huh? It’s her word and now that’s what everybody thinks of me. Unbelievable,” you turned around, letting out a laugh in frustration.
“No, no, I mean…” Chan started, stumbling a bit towards you. “I mean you don’t need to go with him. You need to come with me instead. You don’t know him.” Chan was slurring to the point that you couldn’t take him seriously, but goddamn if it didn’t set you off. You felt your face flash red and your heart shatter all in the same second.
“Come home with you instead? Really? That’s what this is about?” You didn’t even know what else to say. Your feelings were crushed. Now that Jenna had branded you as the “local whore”, that’s what Chan wanted. That’s why he’d come outside with you. You could barely stand to breathe the same air as him.
“You’re drunk Chris,” you yelled, your eyes tearing up. You couldn’t find another way to explain it. “You’re drunk! You need to go back inside!”
You turned to look as a set of bright lights began to shine behind you. As it inched closer, you could make out the Mercedes logo of Jungkook’s car. You almost breathed a sigh of relief before Chan interrupted.
“No really! I’m fine! But,” he looked at the car that was now put in park behind you. “But, just listen to me. It’s not what you think it is, please just don’t go with him! I need to talk to you… alone!” he pled, his voice going in and out as he swayed back and forth. You felt a tear streaming down your cheek.
All of this for what?
“Go back inside,” you threatened, not caring now if the tears spilled out as you came closer to him. “Jungkook warned me you could be like this,” you threw at him through gritted teeth, quieter now. “And he never once made me feel like a slut.”
You hurriedly turned on your heels and rushed around the side of Jungkook’s car to throw yourself into the passenger’s seat. You didn’t want to give Chan the chance to get another single word in. Tears streamed down your face as you entered, greeting Jungkook with only the look of grief.
“Oh my god, Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, pulling his face closer to yours to examine it.
“I’ll be fine,” you choked out. “Please just get me out of here.”
He took one more hard look at you before nodding and putting his car into gear.
———————————————————————
Saturday, 9:10 PM
Y/N’s POV:
The tears had finally stopped as Jungkook did everything he could to calm you down. He was so patient, listening intently as you ranted to him. You made sure to start from the top, including Jenna and what she’d said to you yesterday. The rumors that were going around about you. How Chan had been acting like a douche, but tonight, he suddenly wanted you to stay with him.
Jungkook nodded and held onto your hand through every sentence. He listened with so much conviction, like every word you said was the most fascinating thing he’d ever heard. It was the most endearing thing you’d ever seen. And the most “seen” you’d felt since… well, since before Chan was like this.
He pulled you into his chest for a hug as you tried to stifle the last of your sniffles. You hands clung onto his back before running down it and falling flat onto the padded cushions of his couch. His original plan had been to take you for ice cream, but that was out of the question with the state you were in. You’d asked if you could come to his apartment so you’d actually have somewhere to go instead of crying in a car.
“I’m sorry that you’re having to go through all of this because of me,” Jungkook confided, sadness welling up in his eyes. “I feel so guilty.”
“No, no,” you reassured him. “None of this is because of you.” Another big sniffle in. “It’s because of… I don’t know, people who are too bored with their own lives?”
“Yeah maybe,” he smiled. “It’s not easy to be with me, and I know that. So thank you,” he smiled shyly.
“To be with you? As in…” you trailed off, your stomach beginning to somersault inside of you.
“As in- oh,” he blushed, looking down for a moment. “Sorry, I guess I can get carried away sometimes… I don’t want to make you feel like you have to rush into anything with me. I just meant…” he tried to backtrack, “it’s not easy to be seen with me I guess.”
As if the adoration you had for this man could get any bigger… You felt your heart swell up.
“You know,” you said quietly, grabbing again for his hand to intertwine your fingers with his. “I don’t think I’d mind ‘being with you’ though…” you smirked, looking up at him.
He let out a small laugh. “Oh really?” he teased, squeezing your hand. He leaned himself slightly into you, close enough that you could feel his breath on your neck as he smiled. “Well if that’s the case, that means I’d get to kiss you all I want, doesn’t it?” he whispered before placing a soft kiss on your cheek.
You felt your heart speed up. “I guess it would,” you breathed, trying unsuccessfully to hold in a smile. Your eyes flickered between his eyes and his mouth.
He mirrored you right back as he leaned in to press his lips to yours, as gently as if you’d imagined it. When you started to melt into him, he threw his mouth into you further, moving it with much more force as his hands held your face steady. You gasped as you felt his tongue run across your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You met him with your own tongue, intertwining it with his and letting it run across every inch of his mouth. You let your hands run through his hair, grappling for any part of him you could get. You could feel yourself getting worked up at the core as you groaned into him, the kiss getting deeper and deeper.
You savored the feeling of him beginning to pull on your hair with the most delicious amount of pressure. You moaned, suddenly not able to handle it anymore. In one quick swoop, you hoisted yourself up, throwing one leg over JK so that you were straddling him. He smiled into the kiss at your new position, letting his hands run up and down your waist. You made quick work of throwing one arm around his neck, the other resting on his chest as you used your new leverage to lead the kiss.
You took your time with him, feeling out every curve of his mouth with your tongue, mapping every inch so you’d never forget it. You could feel nothing anymore except for being lost in the space he encompassed. You only wanted him, all of him.
Without thinking, you instinctively began grinding your hips into him, lightly at first. Relishing in the small smile that had come over his lips, your mouth fought its way to stay attached to him.
Jungkook let his hands roam from your waist to trail lightly up and down your back. He followed every arch and every bow with so much precision that you could still feel him seconds later. As you began to grind your hips more forcefully, his hands slipped down further and further, tracing along the dimples at the bottom of your spine before settling on your ass. He held you there, pulled taught to his own body, as if it was the only correct thing in the world.
All thoughts were out the window as the wetness built up at your core, freely letting yourself grind down onto Jungkook’s growing bulge. You moaned as he moved his lips down to bite lightly at your neck, peppering down until he reached the base. The swirl of his tongue on your exposed skin was almost enough to send you over the edge. You ran a hand through his hair, using it to tilt his head even further into you, confirmation that you’d take as much as he would give you. He responded with a harder suck, letting his hands grab tightly to your ass to massage it as he pleased.
With each grind you felt yourself getting more worked up, and before you knew it, you were throbbing. Both you and Jungkook began panting heavily as you went harder and harder, leaving no room between you to breathe. You felt Jungkook’s hips buck up the slightest bit to get more friction, earning a breathy moan from you in response. He continued over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore. You let your hand run down his body, from his neck, all the way down to just over his pants, where you rested your hand until…
Wait.
Wait.
You stilled yourself as you pulled your lips back from Jungkook’s face and moved your hands to his arms. “I can’t,” you breathed.
“You can’t what?” Jungkook asked, looking up at you with eyes that were still lost in a daze, his hair tousled in every direction.
“I can’t do this. We can’t do this,” you let out a huffy sigh, full of desperation.
“I can’t… kiss you?” Jungkook asked again, his eyebrows crossing in confusion.
“No, I mean we can’t… take this farther,” you whispered, pulling yourself from him. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t,” you let yourself fall to the side of his lap so that you were no longer straddling him.
It wasn’t that anything about this moment was less than perfect. Because it- no, he- was everything you could have asked for. But you didn’t want to sleep with him before you were even together… officially.
You knew how your heart worked. If you slept with him, you’d get too attached. There would be no going back for you. And if/when things didn’t work out, you’d only be hurt more. You couldn’t do that to yourself.
You also couldn’t deny that the rumors about you had gotten to your head. It was nobody’s business, and you knew that, but still. You couldn’t help but to want to distance yourself from it.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jungkook said empathetically, turning his entire body to face yours. “I would never want you to do something that you aren’t ready for. I mean, I was more than happy with just kissing you,” he smiled.
His response put a soft smile on your face in reciprocation. “Yeah, I was pretty happy with that too,” you blushed, looking down.
He grabbed one of your hands back in his own, like he’d done so many times. Another light squeeze as he stared into your eyes.
“Do you think that you’d be ready for more between us though? Not sex. Just us… as in together?” He swallowed hard as you paused for a moment, shocked that you were really having this conversation. “I know it’s a big thing to think about,” he added.
When you’d told Jungkook that you wouldn’t mind being with him, you’d meant for it to be more flirty than serious. But this… this was serious.
You grinned as you came back from being locked into that moment of time, back to reality. But now, reality was like your fantasies, and your fantasies were your reality. Your head felt like it was floating.
“I think I could get used to it,” you beamed, still in a quiet tone.
You watched as all of the worries visibly melted off of Jungkook’s face. His eyes now shining bright with hope, stupid grin plastered on his face.
“In that case,” he started, letting his body reflexively move closer to you, “I’d really like to make this official. Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?”
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✨ if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, and/or re-blogging <3
"In the Warmth of Trust: A Promise Recalled" part 2
BANG CHAN X READER x stray kids
(part 1)
TYPE: ANGST, CHEATING, fluff
( i feel the ending is very cringe but this only came in my mind)
(also bang chan is an angel, this is just fictional)
When Chan broke up with you and you stopped eating or going out, your dream of mastering your studies turned to shit and you scored the lowest grade in your class. All you did was text Bang Chan and cry for him until he blocked you. When the results of your first semester came, you were broken. You couldn't believe that you let Chan's situation waste six months of your life and take away half of your dream college experience. You went to your grade professor and explained the whole situation. Luckily, your college had two batches a year: the December winter batch and the summer batch in June. Your professor asked you to reappear in the December batch, which was ideal. That winter batch changed your life. It's been seven years since Chan's situation. You just turned 30 and were actually preparing for the reunion of your undergraduate batch in Korea with Changbin. You and Changbin both became college professors: he was in the music department and you were a law professor.
Fast forward to the reunion. You met all of your friends, but then you heard Changbin yell, "OMG!" and you turned to see Bang Chan and Felix. You felt no emotions; you were just happy to see they were okay and doing well in life. Changbin dragged you to see your old group, and you instantly got deja vu when everyone in the group blocked you, including Changbin. When you saw Bang Chan and Felix, Felix looked at you in an apologetic way. He pushed Bang Chan and hugged you, saying, "I am sorry for everything. I didn't know you didn't dump Chan; it was Chan who dumped you." You just smiled at Lix and said, "What happened was in the past, let it go."
Before you could reply to Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and all of them started beating up Bang Chan and Felix. Both Chan and Felix left Korea and went back to Australia five months after you left Japan. They started their own company in Australia, and since they got busy, they lost touch with the whole group. All of you sat, and Felix asked you, "Y/N, you are the only one whose life is a mystery." All of them looked at you, and you said, "Really?"
Felix asked, "What happened after all that drama? I don't even know how you and the guys became friends again. I mean, when Changbin hyung called me to come for this meet up, he also mentioned how Bang Chan was the one who left you. NGL, I stopped talking to him for two months, but at the end, I had to talk since he was my partner." You smiled, "It's okay, Felix." Chan and Felix looked at you and asked, "So what were you up to in these years? You don't even have social media; you look different."
Y/N said, "Are you saying I got fat, Christopher Bang?" Changbin quickly said, "Hey, it's happy post-baby weight gain," and Bang Chan and Felix were shocked. Chan's disappointment was showing on his face with regrets. Felix got more excited and asked you about your life. You replied, "Well, when my college ended, I had to come back to Korea. After coming back, I was a guest lecturer and preparing for the assistant professor exams. While preparing, I suddenly bumped into Changbin, and he gave me the dirtiest look ever. I ignored him, and he made a comment, 'Look, cheater is back.' I was angry; I turned and hit him with my book and yelled at him, 'Me, cheater? Really, Changbin? Your friend was the one who broke up with me and at the same week got together with Sana, and I am a cheater?' That's when Changbin, Hyunjin, and I.N. all came to me and apologized. I never wanted to be friends with them again because they believed Chan, but everyone deserves a second chance, right?"
Felix said, "Hey, hey, you didn't tell us about your baby and your partner?" Y/N laughed, "Well, I met my 'husband' (the word 'husband' made Bang Chan's eyes more regretful) in Japan itself. I was roaming in the market street and spotted a familiar face. We both looked at each other, and you know, it was only six months after the breakup from Chan, and I got news that I had to repeat a semester. I was emotional, so I just looked at him and started crying." Felix interrupted, "Wait, wait, wait, so you knew him?" Y/N replied, "Yep, he was from our batch. He just stood there and comforted me."
Y/N: Well, after the meeting, I asked him not to talk to the gang about this since I wanted to talk to everyone directly. And since I was starting a new college, I didn't want people from the past to be back again. My husband and I talked to each other via FaceTime every day. He came to Japan for my graduation and asked me on a date.
Felix: Aww.
Y/N: But I said no. Haha, I actually didn't want to be in a relationship. I had zero trust. So, he waited for my answer for one year, and one day when I saw him taking care of me, I confessed to him. Since then, we are stronger than ever. We got married two years ago, and we just had a baby girl. My husband was the reason I improved my grades in college, and I believed in love again. He was my strength and pillar during my worst times. I thought I would never believe in happiness again.
Bang Chan was shattered. He couldn't even look at you in the eye because he realized you lost your friends and had to repeat a semester because of him, just because he wanted to fool around with Sana for a few weeks.
Felix asked Y/N, "Hey, show us a picture of your baby." Y/N showed him the picture, and he said, "OMG, she is so cute! She looks like a bunny." Lee Know yelled from the back, "Of course, she is cute; she is my daughter." Everyone looked back at Lee Know, who was holding your daughter, who was wearing a bear suit. Felix ran to Lee Know, and Lee Know thought felix was giving him a hug , but Felix just snatched your daughter from him and started taking selfies with her. While everyone was laughing, Chan went to Lee Know and said, "Thanks for taking care of Y/N." Lee Know said with a cold look, "You don't have to thank me." He made his way to the gang who were literally fighting each other to hold your and Lee Know's daughter. Bang Chan just stood there, watching you, Lee Know, and your daughter being the perfect family with your friends, and he found himself alone.
Lets create a house where yelling means we’re having fun. When you hear a door slam you know it was accidentally pulled with too much strength, not slammed out of anger. When there is silence, it is Contentment, not another passive aggressive fight. The dog is no longer barking to protect, he simply just wants the cats to play with him. Let’s create a safe, warm environment that makes you feel like you can breathe, not hold your breath. Let’s stomp on the eggshells we use to tip toe on. Together we will make this house into a home. And welcome all with open arms into this kind and loving space.
✨ head on over to my masterlist if you haven’t checked out the previous chapters!
✨wc: ~11k
✨ friends to lovers? love triangle? obsession? angst and smut??? fluff.
✨ summary: JYP Entertainment launches a new show and y/n somehow gets recruited. Even though she doesn’t particularly care about the outcome of the show, she does particularly care about one of the artists she met: Chris from Stray Kids. Does Chris feel the same or will a potential relationship with one of his friends overcome what y/n feels for him?
✨ warnings: cursing from time to time, smut!!!! 🔞
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Previous Chapter Recap:
Anna came strolling into the room and made her way behind you.
She cleared her throat before she began speaking. “I mean clearly you guys have made up and all, but are you sure you aren’t moving on from everything else too quickly?” She looked serious.
“What do you mean? It’s just a gift basket. I mean it’s sweet, but it’s not like I’m in an exclusive relationship with this man or something.”
“No, I know. It’s just… I mean do we trust him? I’m not doubting your judgement, it’s just… you trust him enough to give him our hotel and room number?”
Oh fuck.
“I didn’t.”
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Y/N’s POV:
You watched in shock as Anna’s face dropped slightly. She you both sat still for a few moments, heart starting to beat faster.
“Call him,” Anna said, angry tone in her voice pushing through.
“What?” you asked, confused. Surely you should just block his number, right?
“Call. Him.” she said through gritted teeth.
You knew better than to cross Anna when she was irate. You quickly fumbled your passcode into your phone before clicking on his contact and pressing the call button. What the hell?
Huffing out through her nose, Anna snatched the phone from your hand, holding it in front of her while beginning to pace back and forth between the beds.
“Hello,” you heard from a sugar-sweet voice on the other line. Jungkook seemed to be in quite a pleasant mood. Even more pleasant now that you were calling him, probably to thank him for his kind gift.
“How the fuck do you know where we’re staying?!” Anna yelled into the phone, wasting no time with formalities. The rage emanating from her was unmistakable.
“Huh? What? Y/N, is this you?” you heard Jungkook ask sheepishly from the other side, obviously taken aback by the sudden beratement.
“How. the fuck. do you know. Where we’re staying?” Anna asked, emphasizing each word as her aggravation rose.
“Is this Anna? I’m confused. How do I know where you’re staying?… Y/N literally told me when we were on our date. I’m sorry, should I not have sent anything? I’m sorry if I overstepped some boundaries… I didn’t mean to,” he trailed off. Although he did sound genuine, you pondered if there was a slight dread in his voice.
Anna looked at you with a questioning stare, as if she was waiting for you to rebuttle. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.
‘I don’t remember mentioning the hotel…’ you thought. But then again, you weren’t sure that you hadn’t. I mean, things like that come up for sure, but would you have remembered it? Something that would have been such a minute detail to you at the time? Did you just have “nervous brain” going on and sputter words together that you’d black out around and have no remembrance of later?
“I don’t… I don’t know,” you whispered humbly to Anna, beginning to twiddle your thumbs nervously as your brain tried to play out each prior conversation in your head.
Anna quickly got the point and stumbled to regain her argument. “Oh really? And what did she say about it?” She’d do anything to try to catch him in the lie.
“Well,” Jungkook started nervously on the other line. If Anna was good at anything, it was making people nervous in make-or-break situations. No wonder she was going to be the leader. “She was talking about how the hotel she was staying at was really nice and foreigner friendly. And how it wasn’t far from the JYPE building, so it made getting places pretty easy… I asked her if it was the Edison since I’d heard a lot of English-speaking foreigners like to stay there. I don’t know how… Is Y/N there? Can I talk to her?”
Anna raised a brow to you, looking for an answer on what she should tell him. To lie or not to lie. To block his numebr or to berate him. To listen to him or reject him.
But after hearing it, you did remember having that conversation. Well, bits and pieces of it at least. You remembered talking about the hotel, but what exactly was mentioned was a bit fuzzy. Your mind contorted in all kinds of shapes trying to piece together what was discussed about it. Eventually, you gingerly reached your hand out to take the phone from Anna’s grasp. She rolled her eyes as she hesitantly gave it up.
“Hey,” you said lowly into the speaker, feeling a bit embarrassed now.
“Y/N, what’s going on? Did you not remember that you told me you were staying there? Do you still not trust me?” He sounded wounded. Like this conversation was the last thing he’d expected that night.
Hearing the hurt in his voice absolutely broke you. Because you did remember that conversation, just not in the heat of the moment. Maybe you were so caught up in your own head, and Anna’s head, that you went jumping to conclusions again… like you always did. Maybe this whole time, you’d just thought it was too good to be true. Maybe you just subconsciously wanted to self-sabotage to make any sense of the situation you were in with an idol.
Jungkook had done nothing to you. Maybe being in a place at an unexpected time, but that was literally it. This man never tried to hurt you. He was ATTENTIVE, that’s all. He sent you a fucking gift basket, and this is what he had to show for it? You felt so horrible.
“No, no, I’m sorry.. I do trust you! It’s just when Anna asked me if I’d told you where we were staying, I blanked. I think I was just nervous on our first date, and I don’t really remember everything I said to you. I vaguely do remember talking about it though once you mentioned it. I’m sorry I didn’t remember sooner... I don’t want you to think that I don’t really appreciate your gift.”
“Well I didn’t think that last part,” he chuckled lightly after a few seconds.
Anna quickly sprang over to position herself right in front of the phone. “How’d you know our room number then, huh? Did she tell you that too?!” she derogated, obviously wanting to prove herself correct.
“Of course not. I just called the front desk and explained who I was and that I needed it delivered to the room where Y/F/N Y/L/N and Anna were staying… When it’s a bag full of treats, people don’t usually question that.”
“Oh and people don’t usually question a celebrity either, do they?” Anna shot back, her voice full of malice.
“Anna!” you butted in, giving her an expression to stop going any further. “Please…” you asked lowly, eyes silently begging her to back away.
“Fine, fine. Whatever. Thanks Jungkook for the snacks,” she said sarcastically as she walked away from the phone.
You looked at her with pursed lips. ‘Really?’ your face said.
“I don’t trust him,” she mouthed through gritted teeth.
“Well I do, so please be nice,” you replied quietly, covering the speaker of the phone with your hand.
“If you say so,” she mumbled, turning to walk into the other room.
“I’m sorry,” you quietly admitted to Jungkook on the other end of the line.
“No, I mean, I get it. It’s definitely a… weird situation to be in?” He laughed a bit, and you could tell he was nervous. Flustered even?
“It is, but just so we’re clear, I’m all good. I just didn’t really remember what was going on. And I really, really appreciate you sending me that and just sticking it out with me in general… No more crazy freak outs from now on, I promise.” You breathed out a big breath.
You heard him laugh through the speaker. “Don’t worry, I’ll always prove myself if you need it.” You felt your heart swell up at his words. “And hopefully the more I get to see you, the fewer freak outs you’ll have to have, right? I just want you to be able to feel comfortable around me.”
“No, I think I’ll be just fine. Every time I’m with you, I feel great. I… think I should see you more,” you flirted lightly, smiling to yourself.
“I think so too.” You could tell he was reciprocating that smile on the other side. “Can I still bring you lunch tomorrow? I won’t take up too much time, I promise. I just really want to see you.”
You kicked your feet back and forth, like an elementary school student with a new crush. “Yes you can,” you said with butterflies in your stomach. “How about you come inside the JYPE lobby instead of meeting me outside? It’d just be a bit easier. And maybe less public.”
“Whatever you think, sweetheart.”
“Sweetheart,’ you swooned.
“Okay, well text me tomorrow then, and I’ll let you know when I know something,” you said softly.
“I text you first thing. Goodnight. Sleep tight,” he drew his words out to sound cute.
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” you finished while giggling again. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Neither of you hung up for a few seconds, as you took a deep breath, enjoying the moment. Finally, you hit the red “End Call” button and placed your phone down on the bedside table. You gave yourself a few moments to collect your thoughts. The thoughts from your overly mushy, possibility-stricken brain.
As Anna walked in, you felt yourself perk up. “Just trust me on this… please,” you said, wanting to avoid any other conversation about the ordeal.
Anna stared at you for a moment, tough look on her face, but her eyes filled with love nonetheless. She plopped down to sit on the bed next to you. “I will try. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Mentally or physically,” she accelerated.
“Anna,” you rolled your eyes upward, annoyed.
“Okay, okay fine. I will try. Because I love you,” she reached out and grabbed your hand. “More than any man ever can. Remember that, okay?” She looked into your eyes. “You are my absolute best friend in the world. If anyone hurts you, they hurt me. I’ll always be here for you, and I will always ALWAYS do what I can to trust you and back you up.”
You felt your eyes start to tear up a tiny bit.
“I’m so glad I have you,” you leaned in to hug her. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” she said quietly before pulling back from the hug. A quick little smirk came across her face. “We don’t know what I’ll be like starting as leader tomorrow. You may not be able to stand me,” she said sarcastically.
You smiled as you shook your head. “As long as you don’t go getting a big head.”
“I won’t if you won’t, Miss VISUAL.”
“Oh whateverrrrrr,” you said while playfully pushing her away. She couldn’t help but to let out a few laughs.
After the two of you were done with your banter, you tucked yourselves in and turned the lights out. With dreams of Jungkook in your head, and all that could be, you finally slept in peace.
—————————————————————————
Chan’s POV:
Chan jumped a bit as he heard his phone alarm begin to blare out at him. 1:05 PM. He was supposed to meet Changbin for lunch at a restaurant around the corner.
With a sigh, Chan saved the file on his laptop that he’d been working on, taking out his earbuds and closing them up in his case. He hastily stored his belongings in their usual spot.
Today had already been a long day. A long, draining day.
Chan was in a slump, and he knew that. Tuesdays always sucked for him, but this one was different. He could barely get work done, barely sleep, barely eat (one of the major reasons Changbin was borderline making him have lunch with him). This was an important time for him, and he needed to snap out of it. Not only did he have deadlines coming up for his own projects, but he was meant to partake in Everyday Idol as well as be a mentor to someone he didn’t particularly like. The stress on top of the combination of everything else had him feeling like… for lack of better words, shit.
Chan rubbed his face a couple of times before shaking his hair and springing to the elevator.
Some people grew up scared of elevators, but not Chan. No, in fact, when he was a little boy, he loved elevators. He remembered a time when he couldn’t contain his excitement and began jumping up and down- he couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, feeling the springiness and give that the floor had once he landed on impact. He thought to his mom’s subsequent scolding thereafter, how it “wasn’t safe.” But that was the exact opposite of how Chan had felt. Inside the elevator, he was inclosed in his own little world, safely tucked away into an area that was all his to play around. The movement he felt while inside was just an addition to his fun. He felt not danger, but adventure. Of being able to define gravity. But stil, so so safe and cocooned in.
Stepping now inside of the elevator again, he wished he could find that same feeling.
But instead, life happens. As Chan descended, floor after floor, he was content with picking at his nails. He was so close to getting the hangnail off the side of his left thumb. But as he toyed with it, it got more and more red. It turned hot. It burned even. Was it worth it? To feel all of those emotions just for that little ounce of relief? Would it even give him relief or would it hurt more?
As he walked into the lobby, he had to ask himself that same question. Jungkook was stood in the opposite corner of the room… with you. He felt his ears go red immediately, feeling as if all the blood in his body automatically rushed upward. The blood followed into his face, being backed up by the shaking feeling he started to experience in his chest. He clenched his fists, focusing on the sensation of the burn in his thumb instead of whatever burning was happening in his heart and in his mind.
He felt his muscles tense as he walked past. He was stiff as a board, but he knew better than to let his head turn your direction. Pretending he didn’t see either of you would be the best course of action.
With his head held high, Chan made his way past both you and Jungkook as quickly as he could without seeming desperate or being noticed. Not today. He didn’t have it in him today.
Eyes fixated on the door, he was only a few strides away.
“Chan! Hey man!” Chan stopped in his tracks as he heard a call from a few feet away. Jungkook’s voice would forever play as a haunting echo in the back of his mind… Now, knowing what he knows.
Chan closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning around, ready to put on his best face.
“Ahh hey,” he waved back slightly, but had no intentions of walking closer.
‘Avert situation. You gotta go,’ he thought.
“I’m late to meet up for lunch right now, but talk to you later?” Chan said, totally ignoring that you were standing there.
“Yeah, for sure. Let’s hang out. I’ll text you?” Jungkook asked, sounding friendly as ever… and oblivious.
“Sounds good mate,” Chan strained out before turning on his heels to hastily get out the door.
He took a deep exhale in and out of his nose once he hit the outdoor air. He would say fresh, outdoor air, but who was he kidding? It’s Seoul. The air is never gonna be that fresh.
He just wished he could avoid you. Anything having to do with you and with Jungkook. It wasn’t even strong anger anymore that he felt, but more of like a numbness. Not the kind that stops you from feeling your face. This kind… oh this kind was much worse. It was a gnawing numbness. One that you knew was slowly eating at you, but there was nothing you could do to stop it. He knew it could consume his soul- eat into every aspect of his life until he felt nothing for anyone anymore. All he could do was try to fight it. Try.
‘Whatever,’ he thought.
He walked with his head down until he was around the corner, popping into one of the boys’ favorite lunch spots. They’d been going here since the beginning of their trainee days. It was cheap, delicious, and most importantly quiet and tucked-away. As Chan pried the door open, he found Changbin already sat at a table toward the back of the restaurant. He tried his best to perk up by the time he reached his friend.
“You order yet?” Chan asked, taking his seat.
“Nope, not yet. Was waiting on you. Where have you been?” Changbin asked, leaning over onto one elbow.
“Sorry. I was working on a track. I’m just not able to get anything good right now,” Chan huffed as he let his head roll around his neck, working out any pent-up kinks.
“Well…” Changbin trailed off for a second, looking for the right words. “Are you good right now?”
Chan was taken aback by his directness. Bin’s eyes were wide, waiting for a response. Or at least the opportunity to gage an emotion.
“Yeah bro, I’m fine,” Chan got out, clearing his throat.
Changbin let his eyes roll off to the side. “Look, you and I both know you aren’t fine.” He lowered his voice. “Don’t think I didn’t hear you still up working on something last night at like 4 AM. You only do that when something is bothering you. What is it? Is it y/n?”
Chan’s face dropped, but he continued sternly. “No, I said it’s fine.”
“I saw the pictures Dispatch put out... Other people may not have recognized her, but you and I both know. Is that what this is about? I haven’t seen you act normal since, and I’m worried about you.”
“Whatever she has going on with Jungkook is whatever. It’s none of my business and it’s not my place to care.”
“Well, it obviously is your place to care. And mine too, considering.” Changbin stared at him, eyebrows raising up. He tempted Chan to lie again. To say he had no investment in you. To pretend like everything was fine. That this whole situation wasn’t eating him alive. To be okay with knowing a whole truth that you had no clue about…. And that ate Chan up.
The two men just stared at each other until Chan finally gave in.
“What do you want me to say, Bin? You want me to ask like ‘Hey so are you two fucking or? Do you have a relationship and care about each other? What do you guys like about each other that you keep hanging out? Jungkook why don’t you tell her what the actual truth is?’… Like I don’t want to fucking know, okay?! Now please, don’t bring it up again. I’m done talking about it.” Chan knew he needed to stop.
But Changbin didn’t. “Well can you at least speak to y/n like a normal fucking human being then please? Don’t try to run away every time she moves in your goddamn direction! Well that, or act tough and annoyed when she’s anywhere near you. She’s still my trainee and you’re making things weird.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chan muttered defensively.
“She literally asked me today if you were avoiding her… She thinks you’re her friend. She tries to talk to you and you won’t let her. And I can’t just explain that you have a massive crush on her and are pissed she’s going out with your friend… She probably thinks you hate her dude.”
“I don’t hate her,” Chan scoffed. “I’m just not entertaining her or this whole situation. She’s not gonna get any special treatment.”
“You and I both know this isn’t about any ‘special treatment.’ At least act like a decent human being please. Quit acting like an asshole. You can have a normal conversation,” Changbin stiffly replied.
“I’m trying, okay? But I’m not going out of my way to talk to her.”
“Whatever, just sort this out. I’m sick of feeling the tension on both sides.”
——————————————————————————
Y/N’s POV:
You smiled sweetly as Jungkook handed you a two plastic bags full of to-go containers. There had to be at least 4 different boxes.
“This sure seems like a lot of food for one person,” you half-laughed.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I just got a few of my favorites. I thought you could share with Anna too. Maybe cushion the blow from her yesterday a little too, huh?” He joked, starting to look a bit nervous.
‘Yeah, she was a bit harsh.’
“Well that’s very sweet. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, even if she won’t say so… And I really appreciate it too,” you grinned.
“No need to thank me. After all, it meant I got to see you. I’d buy you lunch every day if that was my prize.”
You blushed, looking down unsure of what to say. He was a fucking charmer, that’s for sure.
“Then feel free to stop by any time,” you leaned into him. “I don’t think anyone would mind.” You flashed another toothy smile.
“I’ll try to remember that,” he smiled back.
Suddenly from the corner of your eyes, you noticed an all-black figure walking by quickly. By the walk, there was no mistaking it was Chan. He’d always had this very distinct walk. You’d noticed it the first day you met him. He hunched his shoulders over slightly, letting his arms dangle low while he took wide strides. You’d recognize it anywhere.
By the sudden turn of Jungkook’s head, you knew he’d noticed him too. “Chan! Hey man!” Jungkook called out, happy to catch his friend.
You wanted to tell Jungkook to stop. To not even bother. Chan was in some sort of rut, and even if he’d talk to Jungkook, you being there would just make it awkward. You didn’t know what you’d said that night to make him want to avoid your very existence, but here you were. ‘Please god no,’ you said to Jungkook mentally.
“Ahh hey,” you heard Chan respond back. ‘Cool, so he’s still acting normal to everyone but me. Theory confirmed.’
As he made slight eye contact with you, he immediately flicked his eyes back up to Jungkook’s face, not acknowledging your presence.
“I’m late to meet up for lunch right now, but talk to you later?” Chan continued.
‘Thank fucking god. Please get out of this awkward situation.’
“Yeah, for sure. Let’s hang out. I’ll text you?” Jungkook asked.
“Sounds good mate,” Chan responded before heading out.
You stood for a few moments in silence, Jungkook waiting for you to say something.
“He ignored me… again,” you said, huffing out a bit.
“Wh- I didn’t know you two were ever friendly,” Jungkook said a bit hesitantly.
“Yeah, I mean, I thought we were… He helped me a lot through this process with giving me tips and stuff. And, I don’t know, he was a good person to rant to about things. I felt like we had a lot in common, so he was easy to talk to. But this week, he’s literally gone out of his way to not talk to me. I’ve tried and every time, I’ve been given short answers or head nods. Or he acts like he doesn’t want to be there at all,” you said, face full of perplexity. “But you obviously know him better than I do. Does he ever just get like this? Is he okay?”
Jungkook’s eyes wouldn’t focus on yours. They looked off, almost like he was zoning out for a few seconds. He snapped out of it as you finished talking.
“He probably is just under a lot of pressure is all,” Jungkook said, rubbing your arm to comfort you. “I wouldn’t take it personally. Unless… well, I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t talk about it.”
“No, tell me,” you demanded more than asked, now full of curiosity.
“It’s not- I don’t know. I’ve never seen it myself, but people say he’s really hard on the new trainees. Like REALLY hard on them. I think he’s even made a few cry before. Something about how hard it was for him when he was a trainee,” Jungkook said confidently, now locking eyes with you. “I think it’d be a good idea to stay away from him for a while. He’s my friend, but I’ve seen him blow up before, and it isn’t good. I just don’t want to see him hurt you any more than he already has.”
Trying to put a small smile on your face, you gave him a disconcerted nod.
“Would you want me to talk to him about it?” Jungkook cocked a brow.
You thought for a moment, thinking over what good that would do. ‘Well, if he’s already angry, I don’t exactly want him to find out that I was talking to his friend about him…’
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just try to stear clear from him I guess.”
Jungkook could tell you sounded a bit disheartened. “It will be okay. Just do what you’ve gotta do and try to ignore him for now. You will do great. If he doesn’t see that, then he’s an idiot,” he smiled.
You give him a shy, encouraged smile and a head nod.
“Now go eat. Don’t let me take up your lunch,” Jungkook said, playfully nudging you toward the elevator.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go,” you said, grinning ear to eat. “Thank you again. So much. This really means a lot to me.”
“Like I said, no need to thank me. Now go get full, and please let me know how the rest of the day goes! I’ll be thinking about you.”
You felt your cheeks get hot, but you couldn’t help it. “I’ll be thinking about you too.”
Jungkook placed one hand gently on the side of your arm and leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, just the way he’d done before. It was so tender. So thoughtful. The way he touched you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. It sounded stupid to say this early, but it made you feel loved.
As he pulled back, you began walking to the elevator as you each waved goodbye.
‘I could get used to this.’
———————————————————
By the end of the day, you were even more exhausted than the one before. Pushing through another 2 hour dance practice with already sore muscles made for an interesting (and excruciating) experience.
‘It’s only Tuesday?’ You had thought to yourself while trying to catch your breath earlier.
Vocal lessons had gone well, and you’d gotten in a good session to work with Anna, Changbin, and Felix on your music for the showcase. You’d gotten a big chunk of lyrics written out and even had an outline for the track. You had a plan to meet back up after the schedule to order some chicken and try to brainstorm more ideas to get at least a little more done.
The biggest accomplishment of the day though was that you had successfully avoided Chris. Not that he was particularly interested in talking to you anyways. But you heard how he spoke to the others. The way that his tone of voice had changed completely, dullness replacing the vibrancy and enthusiasm he’d previously had. His facial expressions were different too. More subtle. His overall demeanor was just… gravelly. Like everyone was walking on eggshells around him when he spoke. At least it wasn’t just you. At least he was ignoring you.
After packing up your belongings, you and Anna traveled upstairs to meet Felix and Changbin in the studio.
“For a second, I thought you forgot about me!” Changbin said, seeing you enter the room.
“You make it very hard to do that,” you rolled your eyes, walking over to take a seat next to him.
As you settled in, you began discussing any more ideas you’d had on lyrics. Since the show was focusing on the “trainees” instead of the idols, Felix and Changbin weren’t allowed to make any major suggestions or do things on their own. You and Anna were responsible for solely coming up with the theme, writing lyrics, choreography, and somewhat of the producing. The guys were really just there to supplement what you were able to do.
The topic you chose to write about: heartbreak.
A cliché? Maybe. But it was something both you and Anna knew all too well. Neither of you would ever disclose it on the show, but Anna had been engaged before. They’d dated for several years before he popped the question, but a month before the wedding, he called it off and moved away, saying he felt trapped in.
You had never been engaged, thank god. But you had just ended a very serious, long-term relationship a few months prior. You’d dated for almost 3 years before he decided to call it off. It was by no means a “great” relationship. You lost the spark after about a year (to be honest, you weren’t sure that spark was ever really there), but were too afraid to break up for fear of being alone. He never never took you out, never tried to make things fun, but he was the one constant that you had in your life. For over a year, you were constantly back and forth in your own head, whether or not you could actually go through with breaking up with this man. He was just so… dull.
It wasn’t helped by the fact that he absolutely adored you. You were kind, smart, fun, adventurous, everything anyone could ever want... But he just wasn’t any of those things. You were so bored. And you felt horrible for being bored.
When you were almost at your breaking point, on the cusp of breaking things off after carrying the entire relationship for years, your boyfriend had finally said it to you. He told you that he wanted to marry you.
It came as no shock, of course, but he really meant it. He may not have proposed, but you know he was gaging your reaction. And when you said absolutely nothing, he got the point. Two weeks later, he broke things off with you.
You found it ironic. How something that you’d wanted to do for years, he’d done in the drop of a hat. How someone who supposedly loved you so much could get over you so quickly. Were you really that forgettable? That disposable that even someone who took you for granted every day had no problem ending things with you? You just didn’t have the heart for that.
And suddenly, for the first time in years, you truly felt alone. It was then that you began to lean into your friends even more. That’s why they meant so much to you. You and Anna bonded in the fact that you’d both been through very similar situations. You were each others rock, and why you understood each other so well. You had a bond strong enough to carry you all the way across the world- all the way to Korea. How could you not write about the very thing that was the biggest hidden blessing that had ever happened to you?
Once you’d both talked through this with Changbin and Felix, ideas flowed out quickly. Words turned into sentences. Sentences turned into lyrics. And before you knew it, you had a rough draft of the song, along with some chords.
Game plan: tomorrow, you’d finish the song and get a good recording and backing track ready, in case you ended up needing it for your performance. Then, you would just need to work on choreography and what you had envisioned for the stage.
With only 4 days left before the performance, the nerves had set in. You kept telling yourself that each day in the program felt like a week, so you’d have basically 4 weeks to prepare… The thought didn’t work as well as you’d hoped, but at least you tried.
—————————————————
As you threw yourself in deeper, the days began to blend together. Wake up, rehearse, eat, sleep, repeat. You’d barely had time for anything outside of the usual schedule. It was like being stuck inside a time loop.
Your only good distraction was Jungkook. Over the past couple of days, he’d been supporting you in any way that he could. He’d brought dinner to your hotel so you didn’t have to go out and buy anything yourself. He’d sent you encouraging texts throughout the day, reassuring you that you could do this. He’d call you every night so you could rant about anything you needed to that day- how unbearable one of the vocal coaches was, rude things Jenna had done that day, and how Chan was acting toward you.
Chan had been behaving… well the same. Jungkook warned you. You did what you could to stay away from him, but you’d often find him staring at you while he was helping at dance practice, looking like he was about to scold you for something or roll his eyes at you. So far, it was annoying, but nothing you couldn’t deal with for the next week or so.
“Soooo,” you said to Jungkook through the phone, trying to sound cute as you crossed the street to your hotel, “I have some extra time tonight. Felix had a stomach ache, so we ended showcase practice a bit early… I was wondering if you were free to do something?”
You could almost feel his energy through the phone. “You know I’m never too busy for you.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” you smiled as you stepped inside your hotel lobby. “Could we do something that doesn’t involve much mental or physical energy though, please? I’m almost out.”
He let out a little laugh. “I could have told you that much. How about a movie? I can pick you up.”
“Perfect. If you want to have a look at show times, you can just let me know after.”
“Hmmm, how about give me 30 minutes, and I’ll be there? I’ll get it worked out.”
“Okayyy, sounds good to me,” you stepped into the elevator.
“Did you eat already?”
“I did. I just got something quick with Anna. She stayed back to work on some dance stuff she was struggling with since Lee Know was there to help.”
“And shouldn’t you be helping her instead, ‘main dancer?’” he poked fun.
“Well, considering Lee Know has years and years of technique, I think I’m alright to pass,” you said jokingly.
“Touché. Well, if you’ve eaten, then I’ll get snacks. I’ll be there to get you in 30 minutes, okay? Wear something comfortable!”
“Can’t wait,” you smiled into the line, obviously sounding smitten.
“Me neither. See you soon,” he said gently before ending the call.
You let out a deep, content sigh as your brought your phone down from your ear. As you left the elevator and headed toward your room, you thought about what you’d do to kill time for the next 30 minutes.
‘A doom scroll doesn’t sound half bad,’ you thought, using your key card to enter the room. You were greeted by the lingering smell of Anna’s perfume she’d put on that morning. It was her signature- bold and bright just like her.
You threw your things down and plopped yourself on the bed, promising you’d get up in 20 minutes to shower off and get changed. You knew that in 20 minutes, you’d also be cursing yourself for not doing it as soon as you got back. ‘Oh well.’
You loaded up your twitter to scroll through mindlessly. The memes were just okay today. Nothing special.
You switched instead to look through your YouTube subscriptions and what you’d missed. There in the corner of the screen though, you could see that the “Stray Kids” channel was live, starting 2 minutes ago. In the caption, you read “Channie’s Room.”
‘On a Thursday?’ you thought. You may not have known everything about Stray Kids, but you’d seen more than enough tweets to know that Chan was usually live on Sundays.
You knew you were supposed to stay away. To avoid Chris as best you could. But you couldn’t help it, curiosity got the best of you. Plus, your thumbs were faster than your brain.
Upon starting the stream, you watched as Chan settled into his seat, plastering a tiny smile onto his face. He had a song playing in the background, one you hadn’t heard before. It looked like any other Channie’s room, him situated in his studio. You couldn’t help but to wonder about how he could have looked so agitated a couple of hours ago, but was now trying to put on such a good face for the camera.
“Hello everyone. Annyeonghaseyoooo,” he dragged out playfully. He waved lightly as he grinned at the camera. “Hi Stayyy.” He looked down at his phone before abruptly coming back up, putting a beaming smile on his face. “Welcome to Channie’s Room. This is Episode 209. And we will try to have a- fun- time- today-,” he said cutely.
“How was everyone’s day today?” He asked.
‘Exhausting. Partly because of you,’ you thought to yourself.
He read some of the comments aloud.
“ ‘My day was good.’ Yay!”
“ ‘Today was great!’ Good, good.”
“ ‘Today was tough, but better now.’ Ya know, my day was pretty tough too, but I also feel better now that I’m with Stays,” he said optimistically. He breathed in harshly before putting his phone on the table.
“Sooo you all know that I usually do not come on a Thursday, so I’m sorry for coming late. Schedules have been crazy. On Sunday night, I was really busy. I just had a lot of thoughts, so I apologize for not making it then. But hopefully we can have a fun time now.”
You thought back to Sunday night. Sunday night… when he was with you. When he’d offered to pick you up to go look over the city. He’d given up his time with Stays for that?
He picked his phone back up and began to read through the comments again.
“ ‘I hope things are okay and you’re taking care of yourself.’ Uhmmm, yeah,” he raised his voice up an octave, sounding more like another question than an answer. “I mean, I think things will definitely be okay, and I’m trying my best to take care of myself. No worries. All goods. Allll goodssss.”
“ ‘Chan, are you able to eat well these days?’ Wowww, what’s with these questions?” Chan laughed, trying to mull over the comments. “Do I really look that bad? Hahaha,” he covered his face with his hands momentarily. “To be honest, because you know I’m honest with you guys, I haven’t really been able to eat so well these days. I’ve just been really busy, had a lot to do, have been having so many thoughts… It’s just- yeah, it’s hard for me,” he giggled shyly. “But I will try. I will try to do better.” He laughed again awkwardly.
“ ‘Are you working on any new music right now?’ Of course, I’m always working on new music,” he said, jovially. “Yeah, so right now I’m actually working on something that I don’t think you guys will expect,” he stopped to smile. “It’s a little… out of my comfort zone?… a little? But ya know, it’s always good to challenge yourself and tooo… express emotions that you’ve never really expressed before, yeah?”
You listened as he went through a few more random questions and started playing song recommendations before looking at the time.
‘Ah fuck. Better get up,’ you thought to yourself, gathering the energy to stand and walk to the bathroom. Such a simple task always seemed to take 12 years when you were dreading it.
A quick rinse and change into a big sweater was exactly what you needed to feel a million times better. You almost felt recharged and refreshed… Almost.
As soon as you saw JK’s text, you headed down to the front of the hotel to meet him.
You knew these guys were multi-millionaires, but it still always surprised you seeing such nice cars. A black Mercedes sports car, freshly-washed no doubt, was waiting right in front of the door for you. As you pulled on the handle to step inside, you were greeted by soft house music in the background and gentle mood lighting. One second in the car and you were sure you could fall asleep.
As you looked over to JK, your heart almost shook inside your chest over just how good he looked. He was rocking some grey sweats with a black hoodie, hair perfectly fluffy and smooth. He was slightly toying at the piercing on his lip. You’d never actually seen him so dressed down before, but he looked hot in it. This was the first time you’d really gotten “boyfriend vibes” from his looks alone.
But nothing could beat the look on his face when he first saw you. He looked like a kid in a candy store, wide-eyed and excited. The endearment on your face must have been apparent.
“Well hello,” he joked, smiling at the sight of you.
“Hellooo,” you lightheartedly replied. “Your car is insane.”
JK let out a giggle. “Think so?”
“Yes,” you looked around. “This is one of the nicest cars I’ve ever been in.”
“Well I’m honored,” he grinned as he laid his hand on top of yours. You wanted to explode, but you knew better. Not yet anyway. You had to settle for blushing your ass off right now.
“What movie are we seeing?” you asked, having to take your eyes off of him a little nervously. ‘He just looks too damn good.’
“You get to pick,” he smiled before moving his head to look out the windshield, guiding his hand along the steering wheel to venture back to the busy street.
“Alright, what are my options then?”
“The options are endless really. We can watch whatever you want.”
“No, but I mean what new movies are out that are playing right now?”
“Ohhh, well if you want to watch something they have out right now, there’s a new scary movie that looks really good, a couple of action movies, a documentary, and a new rom-com I think. I just know how you like scary movies.”
“That I do,” you smiled, looking over to admire his side profile. His lips were so fucking pretty.
“But if you get there and don’t like any of them, they said they can get us whatever you want.”
“You called and talked to them?”
“Of course,” Jungkook temptingly smiled before resting his hand on your thigh.
You tensed up a bit, but soon relaxed under his touch. His hand was so warm. Bigger than you’d expected. A little more bony too. You admired the tattoos, one by one, questioning him about each of them as he drove. His voice was so smooth, so relaxed, you wanted to melt like butter and pour into him.
When you approached the theater, it was a bit hard to see in front of you thanks to the dark Korean winter evenings. But as you pulled closer, you were able to make out a group of men dressed in all black. There had to be at least 5 of them. Jungkook rolled to a stop before jumping out of the car and heading to your side. He stopped one of the men from opening your car door so that he could do it himself. You gingerly accepted his hand, as he helped hoist you upright.
Once both feet hit the ground, you were suddenly surrounded by the group of men in a circle.
‘Damn, this security is no joke… There goes being unnoticed,’ you thought to yourself as both you and Jungkook were rushed indoors. If anything, it drew more attention, you thought. You felt like a walking target.
Jungkook must have sensed your uneasiness and reached for your hand to squeeze it.
“Better to be safe than sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t want to risk anything with you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, totally enamored by his thoughtfulness. You offered up a shy smile of thanks.
As you made your way past the front room, you couldn’t help but take in the smell of the popcorn that you’d have no chance of getting. ‘Think one of these big boys will get some for me?’ you giggled in your head.
Jungkook kept your hand snuggly in his until you’d reached the theater room. He knew how scary this must feel if it was your first time experiencing it, and in retrospect, he wished he would have warned you sooner. It was such second nature to him, that it completely slipped his mind. He made a mental note to make up for it later when it was just the two of you.
Once the security team loosened their wall around you, you were able to take in the comfortable ambience of the theater. This had always been one of your favorite places. No matter what was going on in your life, you could step into a theater and get lost- taken away and transported into a different world- at least for a few hours. In this world, things were given to you. You didn’t have to work so hard for them… unlike everything you’d ever known. You fell right into place. Every time.
As you scanned the room, you found yourself momentarily confused… ‘I should’ve known,’ you tsked.
“Why is no one else in here?” you asked Jungkook with a teasing smile.
“What do you mean? Our security team is right over there, silly,” he joked before leading you up a couple of stairs. You both plopped down right in the middle of the row.
“You know you really didn’t have to do all of this just for me,” you said, looking around at the barren room. “I promise I would have been fine in a normal theater…” you let your eyes turn big as you smiled up at him. “But, this is really sweet. Thank you.”
“I know you would’ve been fine with it, but I wouldn’t have. I wanted to make our date special. And safe” he grinned.
“Well don’t go spoiling me too hard. I might just start to expect it,” you taunted, getting bolder now.
“And I would expect nothing less,” he said before looking off to the side. One of the bigger security guards had come back with a tray full of snacks and drinks. Another man followed behind him with… blankets?
“You really went full out, huh?” you giggled.
“I told you I wanted you to be comfortable,” he laughed, handing the large blanket to you. “Do you know which movie you wanted to watch?”
“You pick. I honestly didn’t look into them much.”
“Well,” he turned back to the security guard who was waiting. “If you’d ask them to play the new horror movie that’s out, I’d really appreciate it.”
“You got it,” the man said before turning to disappear down the steps and around the corner.
“You’re not gonna get scared, are you?” you teased.
“Oh definitely notttt,” he said sarcastically, leaning into you a bit. “Are you?”
“Definitely nottt,” you mocked him with a cocky grin.
“Well, even though IIII’m not gonna get scared, feel free to give me a good squeeze if you need to.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smiled while playfully rolling your eyes before moving your arms to open up the blanket. “Want some?” you asked in JK’s direction.
“You think there’s room for me?”
“I can make room,” you blushed a bit. “Plus, if I’m gonna get to those snacks,” you gestures to the opposite side of him where the tray was sat, “I’m probably gonna have to get as close to you as possible,” you raised your eyebrows at him.
“You know me too well,” he beamed, scooting a bit closer to you to let you lie the blanket over his lap. It was the perfect width to cover the both of you from shoulder to toe, with a little room to spare.
As the lights in the theater dimmed, you settled a bit more into your seat, wiggling to get as comfortable as possible. You had to make sure your blanket was tucked right and your butt wasn’t going to go numb in 20 minutes. People always underestimated how the comfort level when watching a movie influences the overall perception of the film.
Similarly, people always underestimated how having a good “movie buddy” influences the enjoyment of the film. A good movie buddy, you thought, was quiet unless prompted to behave differently, was totally immersed in the plot, and refrained from shaking their leg the entire time time... That was a big one. You let your neck crane slightly to see the outline of JK’s face and wondered what kind of movie buddy he will be.
The opening credits began to play as Jungkook moved the snack assortment to the space in the middle of you two, jostling the arm rest up. “Is extra butter on the popcorn okay?,” he whispered. “Cause I kind of already had them do it,” he laughed.
“That’s perfect” you told him, mimicking his hushed tone. You did a one-over of the wide array in front of you.
“You made sure to get all of my favorites, huh?” you looked up at him, smiling.
“I would say I meant it when I told you I wanted this date to be special… but really, I feel like that’s just common decency,” he whisper-laughed.
“Well I appreciate it anyways,” you said graciously, inching your body slightly closer to him. He picked up on this cue and threw an arm around you, allowing more room for you to scoot into him and for him to place the tray of food in the direct middle of you. You watched as a smug smile came across his face, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you to be.
From your position, you could smell the cologne Jungkook had put on. You’d never noticed him wearing anything before. I bit sweet and citrusy, but warm and musky nonetheless. That mixed with the warm cotton he was wearing and the blanket you were wrapped up in, it felt like being hugged into the earth itself. Almost too cozy. Almost too perfect.
As the movie progressed, you were pleasantly surprised that there was actually a very good plot. Neither you nor Jungkook could keep from becoming fully engrossed. Feeling every heart-wrenching, haunting, isolating emotion, it was no surprise that you’d found comfort in each other. Without realizing, you had situated yourself into Jungkook’s chest, clinging tightly to the fabric of his hoodie. You’d both sunk down into the seats a bit so that his head was tucked down into your hair, neither of you able to keep your hands far from your eyes.
It wasn’t until the credits began to roll that you realized just how intimate the position was. You slowly pulled off of him and forced out a few slow, steady blinks to get your bearings back. ‘Damn.’
“You okay? You gonna recover?” Jungkook laughed, patting your thigh.
“I think so. Maybe,” you blinked a few more times.
He let out a chuckle, trailing his hand from your thigh to your hand, intertwining it with yours and giving it a good squeeze.
“I’ll keep you safe in the mean time,” he smiled, half joking. But there was no mistaking how his eyes were now twinkling.
You didn’t have an exact response. You just let yourself sit and simmer in the comfort of his words.
You squeezed his hand back lightly before looking down at your phone.
‘Fuck, it’s late.’
Jungkook realized the dismal look on your face, dropping slightly. “Here, let me get you home,” he said, standing with your hand still firmly in his.
As you stood to your feet, you wobbled a bit at the new positioning and release of pressure from your back. You clung to the blanket, looking around to see how you’d manage to carry all the leftover snacks to the garbage.
Just as soon as the thought popped in your head, one of the security men was up beside you collecting wrappers, bottles, and cups. Jungkook collected a few things himself in his free hand before thanking the man.
“You eventually get used to it,” he said. “Good to go?”
You swiveled your head around for anything that you may have left in the theater. “All good,” you grinned. “Can I just give this back to one of the guys?” you motioned down to the blanket.
“Yeah, of course,” Jungkook said, as he slowly began exiting the aisle, pulling you along with his hand still holding yours. “Unless you want to keep it. Then it’s all yours.”
“Mmm, yeah, I’m not giving it up then,” you smiled. You watched your step as you passed by the seats and made your way down a few stairs to the exit.
You followed suit behind Jungkook, clinging to his hand as you took your position inside the ring of security men again.
“Just block everyone out and follow me, okay? I told you I’ll keep you safe. I won’t let go,” he instructed, solemnity in his eyes.
“I know you won’t,” you said, offering a small smile.
And just like that, the doors were open again, the ring of men encircling you tightly. All was calm in the corridor around the theater, but louder, busier noise could be heard coming from the front of the building. As you approached, you started hearing rowdy sounds. The voices of hundreds of girls yelling. A flurry of words surrounding you. Yells of “Jungkook” echoing from every corner. High-pitched squeels from the front. A trail of flashing lights following from behind and to the side. You kept your head down, daring only to make low eye contact with Jungkook to the side of you.
Tight squeeze.
The men rushed you both out as quickly as they could, making space when needed.
You continued to stare at your feet. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot, until you reached the outdoor air, where you had to look up as you were being guided to the car. You tried your best to shield your face with the blanket, successfulyl doing so to your knowledge. Jungkook was allowed to return to the driver’s side of his car, being that the security team had cars both in front of and behind his.
Once you’d both finally settled in and driven out of the lot, you let out a sigh.
“Jeez,” you giggled, not realizing you’d been holding your breath. “Is it always like that?”
“Sometimes it isn’t that bad,” Jungkook stared straight ahead. You could tell there was a light sense of grief in his voice. “I’m really sorry about that. I know it isn’t a normal situation to be in,” he all but choked out.
“No, it’s okay! It’s not your fault. I still had a really great time,” you reassured him.
“Well I’m glad,” he offered up a smile and placed his hand back at its resting place on your thigh. “I usually don’t get to go out like this much to be honest…” Jungkook confided. “It’s just a lot easier to stay at the house, all things considered,” he let out an annoyed chuckle. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go out or take you places. I absolutely do. I’ll take you anywhere and everywhere. I just mean that sometimes I miss being able to go sit down at a theater like normal. It used to be one of my absolute favorite things to do. And now it’s just… Well now, anything in public around Seoul is a bit hard,” he looked off out the windshield. You both sat in silence for a few seconds.
“I’m sorry,” he began again, shaking his head. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful. It’s really not like that. I’m happy to have people that support me. I just wanted to take you on a proper, normal date is all, so I guess I’m just a bit frustrated.” He turned his face slightly toward you. “You did great though, and I’m glad you had fun,” his voice perked up.
You turned your body toward him so you could watch him as he drove. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m serious. Your feelings are a hundred percent valid. I know it probably gets really overwhelming at times.” You leaned in slightly. “But between you and me, sometimes I’d rather just stay in too,” you simpered, trying to lighten the mood.
“Next time?” He lifted a brow to you, smiling.
“For sure. No more pictures of me in my bummy clothes,” you looked down at your big sweater.
“Well I think you look great in your bummy clothes… Plus, half of the pictures they take of me are in way worse.”
You sat for a moment, thinking. “Are you okay that they took pictures of us?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just don’t want you to get in trouble or feel like you have a scandal or something…”
Jungkook paused for a moment before proceeding, trying carefully to find his words. Slowly, as if deciphering how to speak for the first time, he continued. “Y/n, I really like you… I mean I really really like you. You’re the first person I’ve ever gone on a public date with. You’re the first person I’ve ever *wanted to go on a public date with. And I know that with that comes all the paparazzi and all the madness…” He paused again, contemplating. He stared straight ahead at the road as he continued to speak. “You may not feel the same, and that’s fine, but I want you to know that I’m really serious about you. I’m serious about seeing where this goes with you. So, yeah, maybe some people will have things to say, but that doesn’t matter to me. This is between me and you, not me and anyone else.”
You felt a hitch in your throat at hearing his words. You had a sweet, giggly crush on him for sure. But he… he was wholeheartedly in this. The conviction in his voice told you so. And he was so open and vulnerable about it. It was like he had no option but to let his thoughts flow out to you. You’d never had someone be this sincere. And it was absolutely the most endearing thing you’d ever experienced. You felt like any moment, your eyes could turn into big, dilated hearts, mirroring how you felt inside.
“I think I really like you too,” you said, settling your hand on top of his in your lap.
He let out a big, stupid grin that you couldn’t help but mirror.
On the rest of the drive back to your hotel, you talked about the movie, punching Jungkook lightly on the arm when he made fun of your “scared” face. You talked about the the showcase and how the group was getting along… Well really, whose feelings you’d hurt so far by being in charge of the choreography. You talked about Chan and how you’d been doing your best to ignore him.
You rubbed slow circles around the top of Jungkook’s hand as he confided in you about how he’d heard today that his grandmother wasn’t doing well. He told you all about how involved she was in helping raise him. How she was so good with animals, and even helped him in naming his dog, Bam. How he’d have to call her instead of text because she didn’t quite know how to check her messages. But that didn’t stop her from being great at selfies, he’d told you. You listened fondly as he recounted to you how amazing she was- like he needed someone to hear it and to understand what the world would be losing as she got worse. He needed someone, anyone, to know. And he chose you.
You both tried to end on a lighter note as he pulled up the the door of your hotel.
“Let me see you again soon? I know you’re busy… but I could use more nights like tonight,” he said humbly.
“As much as I can,” you smiled. “And, hey, uhm, I just remembered, but we’re allowed to invite people to come to the showcase to support us. If you’d want to come?” you asked, hopeful.
You watched JK’s eyes light up at the proposal before going contemplative, then solemn. “I don’t actually know that I can,” he said lowly, slightly avoiding eye contact. “… I’m supposed to have plans tomorrow is all. I’m really sorry. I wish I could,” he followed up.
“Oh no, that’s okay. I may have been rushing things a bit anyways,” you said, feeling slightly embarrassed.
“No!” he objected, picking up on your cues. “It’s not like that at all. Trust me, I’d love to be there with everyone else to support you. Next time, okay?” He reassured you with a smile.
“Next time,” you twinkled. You couldn’t help but to watch the way his mouth moved. The way it slowly turned up to reveal the most beautiful, brightest bunny teeth you’d ever seen. The way the light from the building bounced off of his piercings. He looked immaculate. Sculpted even.
In this moment, you just wished he would kiss you.
“As badly as I want to sit here and talk to you, I think Anna will kill me if I don’t have you back in that room in the next 5 minutes. I’ll help you get inside?” JK said more than asked, removing his hand from your lap and jumping out of the car. He came to your side, again opening your door for you to get out. He grabbed the blanket for you so you’d be able to maneuver more freely. He made sure to grab your hand again before walking you inside and off to the side corridor where the elevators were located. The hotel was quiet and still in the nighttime. You were thankful to have these final few moments of people before parting ways.
He pressed the button for you as you arrived at your destination, neither of you ready to say goodbye.
“Thank you again for tonight,” you said, turning your body to him fully. “It really was special. Even if I look bummy.”
“You do not look bummy,” he smirked as he leaned in to grab you by the waist. She whispered into you. “I think you look fucking perfect.”
You let your arms wrap around his back, pulling yourself into him tightly. You felt all of your worries melt away at his warm caress. “I think you look perfect too. You always do.”
Your heart began to pound rapidly, you were sure he could tell, as he ran his hands across the small of your back and leaned his face into yours. “You make it really hard to not kiss you,” he breathed out.
Your mind dazed, you spoke before you could even think. “Then do it.”
His mouth, pulling into a quick grin, slowly pulled down to your own, letting his lips graze yours slightly before making full contact. You couldn’t help but feel fireworks explode in your stomach as he moved one hand up to cup your jaw as he gently kissed you.
These weren’t hot, hungry, horny kisses. You’d had those. These were so much different- so much better. He kissed you so slowly, so sweetly, like he was savoring every second of it. Every inch that he moved into you, you surrendered gladly. He wanted to make sure he got to feel all of you.
You were too overcome with your craving for him to be able to stop. You didn’t care anymore. If anyone saw you, then so be it. All that mattered in this moment was him.
You felt Jungkook moan ever so lightly as he grabbed harder to your jaw, pulling you back slightly and letting out an exasperated sigh with a chuckle. He smiled, bringing his forehead down to press against yours as he brought your body in to press up against him . “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he beamed down at you.
“Ditto,” you smirked, running your fingers along his upper back.
Suddenly, you heard a *DING!
Your elevator was here.
Jungkook reluctantly pulled himself from you and slipped his hand into yours, guiding you into the elevator without him. “Let’s do this again sometime?” he flirted.
You pressed the button for your floor. “Hmm, I’ll think about it,” you teased.
Jungkook played fake hurt, putting a big pout on his face, eyes silently begging.
You rolled your eyes. “I’ll call you tomorrow, you big doofus.”
You saw Jungkook’s eyes turn sad as the elevator doors began to close. He backed up a little bit. “Miss you already,” he said, half joking.
“Miss you too,” you squeezed out as the doors pressed together. You weren’t joking.
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✨ if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, and/or re-blogging <3
Chan would love Cock warming. The feeling of him being close to you while feeling how warm you are! Chan loves this so much! There will be times when you fall asleep cuddling Chan while he is inside you :) *Chan would loveee you sitting on his lap, Cock warming him while he produces new songs!
Lee Know
This would also be fun for him! Being close, just enjoying feeling with a nice movie on the t.v tops it off! For Lee Know, Cock warming would be all about being close though he won't mind if you start to grind or roll your hips, trying to relish the feeling of him inside you :)
Changbin
After a workout is when Changbin would want to do this! Changbin being all sore and sweaty and then you being close is a fantasy! He will feel so loved if you a trying to ride him but he won't get annoyed if you stop and decide to Cock warm him. He knows you tried your best :)
Hyunjin
The bathtub or art studio is the place for him! Hyunjin will melt with you on top of him in the bathtub! The water swaying between the both of you, your pussy suffocating him! Hyunjin would live for the art studio! Hyunjin trying to finish a painting with him inside you, that's his dream!
Han
Honestly anywhere, everywhere, anytime. He just wants to be inside you! Han also doesn't care if he is horny or not! Because as soon as you mention wanting to cock warm him, he will immediately get hard! Please slowly ride him as you do so! He will melt beneath you :)
Felix
In the morning is the time for him! The lazy just woken up look and the tired bodies is what Felix loves! With Cock warming you don't have to move! So just sitting on him in the morning will cheer the both of you up!
Seungmin
Like Han, Seungmin doesn't have a preference! If he did...it would be movie time! At this time, you can feel each other's warmth while watching a film you both love, how romantic! Don't be surprised if you feel him buck up, he just want to be deeper :(
Jeongin
Jeongin loves this! As it is almost like a sport for him to not buck or cum! This will be both a fun challenge and fun cuddle time! The urge to not buck up into your warmth or cum untouched is very hard...so please treat Jeongin to a round of sex after!
Pairings: Bad Boy Felix x Reader
Word Count: 31.3K (currently)
Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance
Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Drinking, Explicit Activities, Bullying,
He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.
Intro
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7 (Coming soon)
If you would like to be added to the tag list please just let me know xx
"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious
Summary: Your family’s yearly vacation is here and once again, you’re single. To avoid having your dating life be poked and prodded by your relatives, you decide to turn your best friend for a little help. Everyone already knows him! What’s the worst that could happen if he pretends to be your boyfriend for the week?
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“It’s going to be a disaster,” you lament, leaning your head back over your couch. Your coffee mug gripped tightly in your hand.
A random movie is playing on your TV, but neither you nor your best friend are paying attention.
“It will not,” Chan chides and nudges your arm with his elbow.
He sips his own drink slowly, watching you throw your arm over your eyes.
“Yes it will! Every year my family goes on this vacation to the mountains, and every year I’m reminded that I’m the only single adult in the family.”
You sigh.
“You’re not the only single one, what about your cousin?”
“He started dating someone about a month after last year’s vacation. They’re still together, so she’s coming on the trip.” Your tone switches to something less dramatic. “She’s lovely, by the way, you’d like her. Very friendly.”
Chan laughs. “So, you’re single and alone there, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s your family. ”
“They make fun of me the whole time! And if I do anything my mom doesn’t like, she’ll go ‘this is why you don’t have a boyfriend, Y/N.’ Ugh!”
“Aren’t there only four ‘older’ cousins?”
“Yes, and I’m the only single one above the age of seventeen. I’m twenty four and I am going to die alone.”
Your arm drops from your eyes and you stare up at the ceiling.
The air in your apartment is warm and comfortable. Candles burn on the table beside you, filling the house with a pleasant warm cinnamon scent.
It was always one of Chan’s favorites.
“How long until the trip?” he asks.
“Next weekend.”
“Not enough time for a dating app, huh?”
You force a laugh, “No. Can you imagine? ‘Coffee was great! You wanna come on a week-long vacation with me and my giant, loud family?’ They would run for the hills.”
“Your family is great and you know it.”
“I know, they’re just… obnoxiously close, that’s all. I love them, don’t get me wrong.” Your arm slides off your eyes and you stare up at the ceiling. “But if I need to listen to my aunt nitpick my appearance in passive aggressive ways to ‘help’, I might kill myself.”
Chan takes a long sip of his drink. “They’re not that bad.”
You roll your eyes. “They love you so much, what would you know? Every time I bring you around them I always get tons of questions afterwards about you. I think my cousin is in love with you.”
“Which one?”
“Lily.”
“She’s twelve.”
“Twelve and in love with you.”
Both of you sit in silence for a moment. Chan’s attention slides back to the TV. He’s looking at it, but he’s not absorbing what’s really playing.
Same with you, you’re too busy wrapped up in your thoughts when an idea hits you all of a sudden.
“That’s it!” you yell, sitting up straight. Your voice startles Chan and he almost spills his drink all over your couch.
“What? What’s it?” he asks quickly, checking his pants to make sure nothing spilled.
“You can come with me!”
“You want me to go on your family’s yearly vacation in place of a boyfriend?”
“I want you to come on my family’s yearly vacation as my boyfriend.”
Chan’s head snaps over to you, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped. You’re already looking at him with pleading eyes.
“Please, Chan!” you beg before he has a chance to say no. “Please, please, please!” you repeat over and over again.
Placing your coffee on the table, you crawl closer to him on the couch, begging over and over again.
“They already love you so much! It would be so easy ! Plus, it’s all expenses paid! It’s a free vacation to a lake house in the mountains with your best friend!”
“Felix isn’t going.” Chan teases.
You whine and grab his free hand. “No, me! Your best friend! Pretty please Chan! I’ll owe you big time!”
He stares at you for a long moment, thinking it through in his head. You’re staring at him with big, pleading, sparkly eyes. He’s never been able to say no to that look.
He sucks his teeth, head cocking to the side for a second. The hand in yours twitches and he holds it, like a faux-shake.
“Fine,” he says. “But, you owe me dinner.”
Squealing, you throw your arms around his shoulders.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He wraps his beverage-free hand around you and hugs you back. “You’re seriously the best, thank you!”
“I know, I know. Now can we please finish the movie?”
——————————————
The trunk to your car slams shut, Chan dusts his hands off and then rests them on his hips.
“You look like a dad,” you tell him while coming up to the car with your backpack slung over your shoulder.
“A dad who packed the trunk of your car perfectly.” He eyes the backpack on your shoulder. “That goes in the backseat. I’m not opening the trunk again.”
Giggling, you open the backdoor and toss it in.
“Can you drive?” you ask, batting your eyelashes. “You know how much I hate driving.”
Chan sighs and holds his hand out for the keys.
“You’re the best!” you cheer and toss them to him.
“Yeah, you keep saying that.” Chan rolls his eyes and ducks into the driver’s side of the car. “Do you have the address?”
You duck inside the car and start typing on your phone. “I should have it in my texts, one sec.”
Scrolling through your phone, you try to find the text that your aunt sent you with the address. Your family has rented the same AirBnb every year since you were fourteen and yet you could never remember the address of the place.
As you’re searching for it, a phone call from your mom comes in.
“Oh, hold on.” You say to Chan and hit the answer button.
“Hey, ma!” you greet into the phone.
“Hey, sweetie! Are you on your way yet?”
“We just got into the car, actually. We’re about to leave.”
“I thought you would’ve left an hour ago.”
“Chan got held up at work, actually. Not his fault.”
At the mention of his name, Chan perks up and looks over at you, listening to the phone call intently.
“Ah, gotcha. I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you two finally started dating.”
“Yeah, well, it’s still kinda new,” you lie through your teeth. You look up and make eye contact with Chan. “We only became official about…”
His eyes widen and he looks around panicked. Quickly, he holds up three fingers.
“About three week-”
He moves about wildly.
“Months! Three months ago! Sorry, I’m a little distracted putting all the bags in the car.”
Chan reacts to your lie comically, his chin jutting forward, head cocking to the side. You wave him off silently. Your mother doesn’t seem to clock your panic about the situation.
“I always saw how the two of you looked at each other, it was only a matter of time, really.”
A blush crawls up your neck and turns your ears and cheeks red. Chan looks down at his lap and coughs nervously, a blush of his own making its way onto his skin.
“Anyway, we better get going, mom! You know how talking on the phone while driving is illegal and all.”
“Make Chan drive! He’s the boyfriend.”
“You’re so right… And he should do so without putting up a fuss.”
Chan motions down to himself, as if to say ‘I’m already the one in the driver’s seat’. You wave him off again, trying to focus on your mother’s voice.
“Okay, okay, I’ll see you soon, but I expect some questions to be answered when I see you, Y/N!” Her voice is teasing, but it makes your blood run cold.
“Of course, mom. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Bye, love you!”
You don’t give her a chance to answer you before you hang up.
The silence in the car is so loud, the air is so still.
“So,” you say slowly. “We need to come up with a backstory, huh?”
“It seems so.”
Another bout of silence.
Neither of you are looking at each other, you’re both facing forward, staring out the windshield.
“I’ll uh… find the address.”
“Yeah.”
You clear your throat awkwardly and scroll through your phone. Chan waits a second before starting the car.
——————————————
Chan turned one of the final corners of the trip onto the street.
“Our first date?” he asks.
“Coffee at the cafe by my apartment.”
“Second date?”
“Movies, we saw Barbie. We went out to eat afterwards. A diner.”
“When did we become official?”
“Three months ago. May 6th. You asked me after our third date.”
“And?”
“You kissed me at my door.”
“Good.”
You both pause for a moment.
“How come I can’t be the one that kissed you?” you tease him.
Chan laughs out loud and turns the car into the driveway. “As if you would ever make the first move.”
You look at him incredulously. “I so would! You’re the one who gets too nervous to do anything. I say I kissed you, not the other way around.”
“No way, I kissed you.”
Chan puts the car into park.
“Absolutely not. I kissed you first.” you reply.
“Keep dreaming. I walked you to your door, we stood there and talked for a minute. You went to walk inside, but I stopped you and kissed you.”
You unbuckle your seatbelt.
“No, after we talked, there was an awkward silence and I could see how nervous you were and how you kept looking at my lips. So, I took the first step and kissed you.”
Grabbing the door handle, you wrench it open before Chan could issue a rebuttal again.
He calls your name from inside the car and lets out a loud groan afterwards.
“You can’t have all the firsts, now can you?” you call back, walking around to the trunk.
The front door to the house rips open and two of your little cousins come tearing out of the house with happy smiles.
“Y/N! Y/N!” they both call out, sprinting up to you.
Leaning down, you scoop both of them up into a hug with both arms, giving them an equally excited hello. Both of them hug you tightly.
They’re five and nine years old, girl and boy– the youngest of the cousins.
“Look who else I brought with me,” you giggle and look over at Chan, who was watching you from the side of the car. The door still opened, his arm leaning on the top.
Both of their tiny gazes turn towards him and just like that, you’re forgotten about.
“Chan!” They both cheer and run at him full tilt.
He wraps both of them up in his strong arms and picks them off the ground.
“Hello, you two!” he coos and gives them both kisses on their heads.
Something twinges within your heart seeing him interact with the two of them that way, it goes through you like an arrow. His brown eyes are so warm and sparkly holding your two little cousins close to him.
A genuine, bright smile pulled across his beautiful face.
Chan steps away from the car and puts them on the ground, they both complain. “Come on, I need to help Y/N with the bags. I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend if I made her carry them all by herself.”
Your heart thuds again. Boyfriend.
The two kids groan and give in, running back into the house, telling everyone of your arrival.
Chan watches them for a moment before turning to look at you with a sheepish smile. You smile back and knock twice on the hood of your car.
“Come on then, boyfriend. These bags won't carry themselves.”
He laughs and grabs the bags from the trunk, arguing with you when you try to lift some of the heavier bags. Well, you weren’t going to argue about carrying something if you didn’t need to.
The cold air conditioned house was a familiar sight when you walked through the front door. One of your aunts was near the entrance when you first came in.
“Y/N, Chan, you’re here! We have you both in the room down here, I hope that’s okay.” she says, pointing to the room down the hall. It’s one of only three bedrooms on the first floor.
“Yeah! That’s totally fine, thank you.”
You smile and walk to the room, dropping your bags down on the bed.
The singular bed in the room.
Chan follows you inside the room with your bags, plopping them down on the floor by the door. You turn to look at him, he’s staring at the bed, most likely thinking the same thing that you are.
He closes the door behind you both.
“I didn’t think about this part.” you say quietly just in case someone was outside the door.
He shrugs. “Just don’t hog the blankets,” he jokes. Chan brushes it off so easily.
What you don’t know is his heart is racing just as much as yours is. His mouth has gone completely dry and he had to gulp down some nerves before jesting with you.
It’s just a bed, right? Both of you can share a bed, no problem. Not at all.
The two of you have fallen asleep on the couch together before. But, it’s not quite the same as sharing a bedroom for the next week.
“I didn’t think you would need any blankets since you’re a human space heater.” You open your one bag and pull out a few smaller things.
“You’re just jealous because you’re cold all the time.” Chan stands on the other side of the bed, plugging his phone charger into the wall.
“I’m not cold all the time.”
“You’re in a sweatshirt and it’s eighty five degrees outside.”
“We had the air conditioning on in the car.”
There’s a few knocks on the bedroom door. “Dinner!”
——————————————
Contrary to what you both originally thought, your family did not grill the two of you interrogation style about your relationship. Instead, you were met with a lot of “It was only a matter of time”.
Each time one of your family members said something along those lines, both you and Chan would grow extremely shy, faces flushing and hearts racing.
Dinner was held in the back room attached to the large kitchen, a long dining table sat in the room, benches full of your family members lined it.
There were so many of you: eight cousins, three aunts, two uncles, two parents, one sister, one brother in law, one grandmother.
This was not the first time Chan had been around your extremely large family, not at all. He’s around you all the time, especially when he can’t go home to Australia for holidays. You always invite him to your family celebrations, and each time he’s more than thrilled to be there.
Everyone was so happy that he was there; part of you thinks they’re happier to see him than you.
Dinner came and went, it was filled with laughter and stories, like it usually is. Your dad and his brothers all teased one another, bringing up stories of being young in the 70’s and 80’s.
“Let’s do a movie night!” One of your younger cousins turns to her older brother. “You’ve been promising me that we would watch Star Wars.”
“You want to watch Star Wars tonight?” he replies.
“Yes, please! Cousins movie night!" She cheers and grabs her plate. “We can set the couches up like last year!”
Chan leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Movie night?”
“There’s a den upstairs with a couple couches, we push them together to make a giant bed and all watch movies at night. Very common L/N Family Activity on vacation.” you answer, leaning closer to him. “The adults usually go to bed and all the cousins watch movies.”
“Sounds exciting.”
Both of you chuckle and smile at one another. His dimples showing. You two seem to be in your own little bubble.
Chan’s leaning so close his body heat is radiating through your clothes. The fabric of his shirt is brushing against your bare arm.
“You’ll find that there’s a certain schedule to each day, breakfast, play down at the lake, lunch, back to the lake, get ready for dinner, eat dinner, movie time.”
“I think I can get used to that.”
“You better.”
A throat clears by you. Your aunt is looking at the two of you with a playful smile. “Are you both going to help clean up or what?”
——————————————
“Dibs on sitting next to Y/N!” One of your little cousins calls out after you all finished pushing the couches together.
“No, I want to sit next to her!” Another yells out.
The youngest runs up and throws his arms around your hips, hugging you close to him. Both arms don’t make it around you all the way.
“No, me!”
You laugh and ruffle his hair. He holds you tighter and it knocks you off balance slightly.
“Come on, hon, you got to sit next to me at dinner, let someone else have a turn.” you coo down to him.
“No!” he pouts and hugs you tighter. You grimace and try to pry his arms off you.
Chan comes out of nowhere and picks your cousin off the ground in one fell swoop. “How about me, huh?” he teases and tickles your cousin with his one free hand.
Your cousin starts giggling like crazy.
“Don’t I get to sit next to my girlfriend?” he jokes and tickles him even more.
The biggest smile stretches over your face, heart warming once more.
Chan drops your cousin onto the couches, he bounces a bit, still laughing.
The tickle torture continues now that both of Chan’s hands are free. Giggles turn into cackles.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t fight the smile on your face and the feeling that stirs in your stomach. Are you ovulating? You have to be. There’s no other explanation for the flutter within your chest.
He just looks so natural like that. The teasing looked adorable.
It wasn’t until one of your older cousins came into the room before your gaze was taken away from Chan.
“Lovesick, eh?” he says in your ear.
“Oh, shut up.” You hit him in the arm.
“I know that look anywhere, Y/N. You can’t fool me.” He laughs and then walks to take his spot on the big couch huddle with his girlfriend.
Chan picks your little cousin up by the ankle and starts dragging him around. Both of their laughter was music to your ears.
“Okay, okay! Move time!” You call out to the two of them. Chan looks over at you immediately with the goofiest grin on his face.
Your little cousin groans.
“Give me my boyfriend back,” you tease and climb onto the couch.
After several minutes of figuring out seating and finding the movie on the TV, everyone was finally settled.
Chan sat directly next to you, his arm on the back of the couch behind you. Both of your legs stretched out in front of you and a shared blanket draped over you both.
The opening title sequence of Star Wars starts playing and silence falls over your cousins for the first time since you got there.
Absent-mindedly, Chan’s fingers lightly brush over the skin of your exposed shoulder from behind you. They trace small shapes lightly.
You can’t even focus on the movie in front of you, Chan’s touch is too distracting.
Your sister and her fiance sat on the other side of you. She leaned over and whispered in your ear about twenty minutes into the movie.
“You can cuddle with your boyfriend, you know.”
A flush crawls up your neck. “Yeah, of course I know that. I just didn’t want to–”
Chan must’ve heard her, his hand closes over your shoulder and brings you closer to him. Your body turns into his, head tucked underneath his chin. His body warmth seeps into you as soon as you press into him.
The cherry on top is when he presses a kiss to the crown of your hair before resting his chin on top of your head. A shockwave of goosebumps ripples through your body.
Thinking you were chilly, Chan wraps his other arm around you and holds you even closer.
Well, if he’s playing the part.
You intertwine your legs with his underneath the blanket. His heart jumps in his chest and he has to fight the urge to press another kiss into your hair.
Chan knew he was pushing his luck with the first one, but it just felt so natural, he couldn’t help himself. Every single time the two of you touch, he instinctually takes it further into a romantic zone.
Previously, he would restrain himself from advancing these moments with you, but now? He doesn’t need to hold himself back. He can let his body react naturally.
The movie continues on, whenever a younger cousin would ask any questions about the movie, one of the older kids would answer.
Whenever Chan was the one to answer, his voice would rumble deep within his chest. The later it got, the raspier it sounded.
Throughout the movie, you both just got more and more tangled up underneath the blanket. You slid an arm around to rest your hand on Chan’s chest; fingers mindlessly playing with the fabric of his t-shirt.
Chan melted into your touch so easily.
In all the years you’ve been close friends, you’ve never been this level of a human pretzel while hanging out. He’s relishing every moment of it. Your shared body heat mingling is intoxicating to him.
He’s such a tactile person, physical touch is definitely his love language.
Chan can’t remember a time he was ever this cozy while watching a movie.
One of his hands moves from your shoulder and into your hair, running his fingers through the strands gently.
Every muscle in your body relaxes when he starts scratching at your scalp lightly. His soft exhales puff out on your head. Normally, this would bother you, but instead you find it soothing.
Both of you were fighting against your eyelids towards the end of the movie. The little kids fell asleep about ten minutes before the credits rolled.
Chan squeezes you tighter for a moment before whispering into your hair, “Time for bed.”
Your heart squeezes. “I gotta help get the little ones to bed.”
“I got it,” he answers. “Go wash up and get to bed. I’ll be downstairs in a few.”
Words can’t even describe how much your heart melts at his words.
Pull it together, Y/N. He’s your fake boyfriend for the week, remember? Not your real one.
It’s Chan – Bang Chan. The same guy who held your hair each time you drank yourself sick in college. The guy who camps out at your dining room table to work because he claims the Wi-Fi is better at your apartment.
Nevertheless, you peel yourself off of him, untangling your limbs and sitting up.
“You’re the best,” you say to him with a sleepy smile.
“I know.”
——————————————
Sunlight streams in through the bedroom window and the air conditioning unit continuously hums in the room.
A strong arm squeezing tighter around your body is what drags you out of dreamland.
A searingly hot body is pressed flush against the back of yours; legs tangled up, back to chest, soft exhales blowing into your hair lightly.
The haze of sleep still has your mind in its grip. All you know in that moment is that it’s so cozy, so warm, so nice that you can’t help but press your body backwards into that serene clasp.
The arm tightens again and brings you even closer.
A nose nuzzles further into the back of your head.
Chan, it’s Chan behind you.
You should care. You should be prying his arm off your waist and scooting over away from him.
But you don’t want to. It’s too nice.
It’s so peaceful, you’re about to drift back to sleep when the sound of two separate footsteps run towards your bedroom door.
They’re so loud, it rips you from sleep and you tense up, preparing for impact.
Your bedroom door is practically flung open.
Chan jolts against your body at the noise, his eyes snap open, arm tightening around you even more in a protective manner.
He has about two seconds to get his bearings before both cousins leap onto the bed, yelling at you both to wake up.
Chan releases you and turns over onto his back with a deep groan.
You groan and squint your eyes closed, bringing the covers up over your head.
“Noooo…” you moan out.
Chan laughs and grabs one little cousin closely, hugging her close to his chest. “Are you in here to sleep in bed with us? I sure hope so since it’s still soooo early.”
She giggles and tries to fight against his strong arms. “No!” she cackles. “You have to eat breakfast so we can go swimming down at the lake!”
Your other, more calm, cousin squirms underneath the covers and cuddles up to you. Slinging an arm around him, you keep your eyes closed and try to let your mind drift off again.
This is not the first time he’s done this, and it most likely will not be the last. It breaks your heart thinking about the year he feels like he’s too old to do this.
Chan is practically wrestling with your cousin next to you. She squeals when he turns on his side with her encased in his arms.
“Chaaan!” she giggles.
After a few moments, he lets her go and she clambers off the bed.
“Come on, Chan! Come sit next to me at breakfast!” She pulls on his hand closest to the edge of the bed.
He laughs and turns his head to look at you. You’re fast asleep again with your younger cousin asleep in your arms.
Chan’s heart slams against his ribcage and his stomach does a cartwheel.
Your sleeping face is so peaceful, and the way your little cousin has the same hair color as you had the cogs in his mind turning.
What if that was your kid in your arms, not just a cousin?
What if it was his?
His eyes flicker all over your face.
Something stirs in his mind, shooting down his spine. If it wasn’t for your other little cousin yanking on his arm over and over again, probably would’ve watched you for a few more moments, allowing his mind to roam into dangerous territory.
——————————————
“You’re staring.” Your aunt sits next to Chan with a plate full of food.
He’s camped out on the back porch of the cabin. It overlooks the wooden stairs that lead down to the dock hanging over the lake.
You’re lounging out on a floaty, pina colada in your hand– courtesy of him. He had walked it down to you only a few moments ago.
When it was announced that it was lunch time, you told Chan you wanted to work on your tan without worrying about your cousins splashing you every five seconds.
Maybe making you a frozen drink was just an excuse to see your face light up when he brought it to you. Maybe it was an excuse to watch the water droplets slide over your body up close.
Chan clears his throat and tears his eyes off your lazing form. Clearly, he’d been caught staring at your bikini clad form.
She nudges his arm playfully. “Don’t be embarrassed, it would be weirder if you didn’t stare, you know.”
Your family can be so crass sometimes.
Chan laughs and takes a bite of the sandwich on his plate. “It’s just nice to see her relaxing for once.”
“Has she been working herself into the ground again?”
“She never stops.”
Your aunt nods and looks back down at you before taking a bite of her own food. “Also helps that she looks good in that bathing suit.” She pauses. “Damn, your kids will be good looking.”
Chan chokes on his bite of food, his body jerks forward and he slams his fist into his chest to try and get it down.
Your aunt pats him on the back a few times, laughing at his expense.
“What?” She questions with an evil chuckle. “Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”
“We’ve only been together for three months,” he wheezes out, still hitting his chest. The clump of food is sitting in his throat.
“And?”
“It’s too early to think about stuff like that,” he lies through his teeth.
You’re not even his. You’re not. This week will end and you’ll have to go back to just being best friends.
He’ll have to pretend that he wasn’t fake sleeping for the last hour before you woke up just to have his arms around you for a little while longer.
“Please.” Your aunt rolls her eyes and goes back to her food when another family member joins the table.
Chan takes a long swig of water before letting his eyes flicker to you once more. Your free hand hangs down in the water, head tilted back to dip into the cool lake, exposing your long, beautiful neck.
In his swim trunks, his cock twitches and he takes an even bigger drink of water.
——————————————
The torture continues endlessly for the two of you.
It’s the fourth night when it’s just you and Chan left awake.
Rain is pouring against the windows outside, the fireplace is lit, TV playing something in the background.
“I’m never going to get to bed.”
“I told you that you shouldn’t have had coffee with dessert,” you tease Chan, nudging his arm.
“Your uncle offered me a cup and I panicked.”
“You don’t even like coffee.”
“I know!” He whined.
You laugh at his expense. “Come on,” you tug on his arm. “You promised you would play pool with me.”
“When did I say that?”
“Literally this morning!”
“Fine, fine.”
He allows you to pull him off the couch with a dorky smile on his face. He loves giving you a hard time for no reason at all.
The pool table sat in the front room, just a few steps away from your bedroom.
Every time the two of you had gone to play pool, other family members would get in the way and pull one of you two in another direction.
Tonight was really the first night you both had to yourselves.
“You break,” you tell him once everything is set up. He nods and lines up his shot. After a second, he hits the cue ball perfectly into the cluster and all the balls scatter along the table, but nothing sinks into the pocket.
“Pity,” you tease him.
“Pity,” he repeats, mocking your tone.
Laughing, you bend over and line up your own shot. From across the table, Chan watches your form bend over, his lip pulling between his teeth mindlessly.
You hit the ball and sink one in.
With a cheer on the quieter side, you look at him with a smirk. He rolls his eyes playfully as you line up another shot.
The game continues just like this for a bit. Both of you going back and forth, missing most shots, but also nailing some good ones.
You’re tied at the end, racing to try and sink the 8-ball before the other person.
Leaning over the table right in front of him, you try and set up your aim.
“Wait,” Chan says quietly before you can pull the pool stick back to take your shot.
He leans down over you, pressing his back into yours, arms coming around you. He guides your aim to hit the cue ball differently.
The entire time, your heart rate is increasing exponentially.
“Just a bit more to the left,” he whispers in your ear. Chills rip down your body and you gulp. His voice sounds so low and sensual.
His hand over yours adjusts with tiny, miniscule movements. He keeps changing the aim a bit to the left, then a bit to the right, like he’s prolonging the contact.
Behind you, his hips are pressed into yours. It’s taking every ounce of willpower and control for him not to get hard in his sweats.
Especially, since in this position, he potentially could–
“Pull back,” he rasps. You follow his instructions immediately. He helps guide the pool stick back, hesitating for a moment. His chest inflates with a deep breath.
He breathes in the smell of your shampoo.
“Shoot,” he exhales.
With his guidance, you both shoot the ball, standing up quickly to watch it bounce off the 8-ball and then sinking into the corner pocket.
You cheer and jump up, turning around to face him directly.
“Take that!”
When you turned to face him, he hadn’t backed away yet. You’re practically nose to nose with Chan. A gasp catches in your throat from his proximity.
And yet, he still doesn’t back away. He continues to stare at you, his eyes dart from yours, down to your lips, then back up to your eyes again.
“Y/N,” he breathes out.
You swallow nervously and hold his eye contact.
Chan’s jaw clenches once, his hands ball into fists at his sides. Every single ounce of constraint is being tested within his body right now.
Cracks are going up the dam of his self control.
You’re not moving away; why aren’t you moving away from him?
He watches your eyes flicker down to his lips once and that’s all it takes for his mind to snap.
Chan lunges forward, grabbing your face with both of his hands and smashing your lips together. You let out a surprised noise against his mouth, your pool stick clattering to the ground.
Every bit of pent up aggression from the last few days is poured into the first kiss.
His hands aren’t on your face for long. He can’t keep still, sliding them all over your body; into your hair, down your sides, grabbing your hips, he’s everywhere.
“Fuck,” he growls against your lips. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Y/N. Shit.”
Even though he’s apologizing, he can’t stop himself. He can’t stop slotting his lips over yours, devouring your very being.
Chan’s eyebrows are pinched together painfully. He’s pinning your body against the pool table with his hips.
You grab at his shirt and pull him closer.
“Shut up,” you say in between heated kisses.
“But I–”
“Shut up.” Your tongue runs over his bottom lip and his mind whites out. Every rebuttal fell from his mind, through the floor and into the Earth.
You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his face even closer to yours as he licks into your mouth. With each turn of your heads, your noses brush against one another.
Chan runs his hands down your body and grabs underneath your thighs, picking you up and placing you on the pool table.
Your legs part and he stands in between them, never leaving your lips once.
As he runs his hands up your legs, he squeezes your bare thighs every few inches. It makes your core clench and body tingle.
Your fingers run up through his hair, grabbing tightly and pulling. Chan moans into your mouth and moves his hands to grab at your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt.
“Chan,” you whisper on his lips. He responds with a grunt. “Need you.”
God.
His hands fly to your legs again, grabbing you by the knees, he yanks your hips forward. Your clothed core comes into direct contact with his erection.
“I can give you exactly what you need, baby.” he nips your lip with his teeth. “I can take good care of you, yeah?”
Trailing his fingers up, he toys with the waistband of your shorts. At the same time, he moves his kisses down your neck. You tilt your head back to give him more access.
“Wanna take these off, babygirl?” he moans when you roll your hips into his.
“Yes, please.” you hiss in response.
Lifting your hips, he grabs the fabric and slides it down your legs, tossing them onto the floor with the forgotten pool stick.
Kisses trail lower and lower down your neck as he lowers to the ground.
Chan pulls away to kneel onto the ground.
His eyes are heated and strong when they meet yours. A dark scarlet color covers his cheeks and down his neck, disappearing into his sleeveless shirt.
Both of his hands grab at your thighs when he looks down at your glistening cunt. You’re absolutely soaking wet by now.
Since the moment he helped you line up your shot, you felt your panties dampening.
Wasting no time, Chan leans forward and runs his tongue from the bottom of your slit all the way up to the top, swirling around your clit and sucking gently.
Your hand flies up to cover your mouth, the other rests on the table behind you to keep your balance.
He repeats the action again, this time with more fervor and you squint your eyes shut, head tossing back from the pleasure that rips down your spine like a zipper.
Chan’s hands tighten around your thighs, eyes staring up at you and studying each reaction closely.
You taste so fucking good. He can’t get enough of you. His tongue greedily scoops up your juices, licking around your clit to feel you grind into his face.
His cock throbs with each moan, each whine that makes it through your fingers held tightly over your mouth.
After one long suck on your clit, Chan dips his tongue inside you, licking at your walls. Your eyes roll back into your head, the hand over your mouth flies down to grip at his hair.
He can’t help but smirk into your folds.
Every single moan is music to his ears.
Slowly, he inches his fingers over and when he moves his tongue up to your clit, he slides a finger into you, immediately curling it up to hit that spongy spot inside you.
“Jesus fuck–!” you cry out as quiet as you can manage.
It doesn’t slip your mind that you’re quite literally in a house full of relatives who could wake up and come into the front room at any moment and see the two of you.
But the fear just adds an extra layer of arousal to you.
“Does that feel good, babygirl?” Chan mutters into your cunt. “Does it feel good to have my fingers inside you?”
He thrusts his finger in and out slowly, those brown eyes studying you like a predator studies prey.
You bite your lip, eyes closed, and nod your head.
Chan adds a second finger and your head tosses back again. He can feel you clench down hard on his fingers when he licks your clit in long, even strokes.
A thin sheen of sweat covers your body.
“Chan,” you whine.
“Yeah, baby?” he teases, licking up slowly, the pace of his fingers is equally as slow. But, regardless of the pace, he’s still coaxing you towards the edge of an orgasm. It’s building slowly, you can feel it in the pit of your stomach.
“Shit,” you buck your hips into his face when he does one particularly hard thrust.
“Use your words, little girl.” He bites your thigh and then goes back to your folds. You clench around him hard at the name.
How are you supposed to use your words when your voice keeps getting caught in your throat? When every time you think you can open your mouth, a sultry moan tumbles out.
“N-Need you,” you manage to strain out.
A devilish smile pulls at his lips. He begins to thrust faster with his fingers, licking your clit quicker.
“Need me?” He asks in between licks. “You need me?”
Veins are popping in your neck from straining to keep your voice down.
“Yes, fuck!” You hiss out. “ I need you.”
In between his legs, Chan can feel his cock weeping with precum. His mind is so clouded with lust he can barely think straight.
Desperately, he wishes that you didn’t have to keep your voice down. He wants to make you scream.
Faster and faster he thrusts and licks at your soaking cunt, greedily tasting your juices.
Your thighs twitch on either side of his head the closer you get to your orgasm.
“Chan,” you grab his attention by yanking on his hair. He grunts and looks up at you through his lashes, lips still devouring you. “Inside, inside. I need your cock inside me.”
Your words go straight to his dick, he licks at your cunt a few more times before standing to his feet quickly to lock your lips together, fingers still buried inside you.
When you taste your own slick on his tongue, your eyes roll back in your head and you clench around him. Chan smirks into the kiss, curling his fingers up.
He’s relentless. Tongue sliding over yours, moans being eaten up by a greedy mouth while his fingers fuck into you.
With more strength than you thought you had, you pry Chan’s lips off yours by pulling his hair back.
“If you don’t fuck me in the next thirty seconds, I’ll pin you down and ride you until your cock can’t cum anymore.”
An exhale is punched from his chest. His mind whites out. Chan’s mouth drops open and his fingers stutter within you.
Did you really just say that? That sounds like a fucking dream.
“Babygirl,” he growls darkly. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
Your eyes darken and you pull his hair again. “Fuck me until I can’t walk, Chris.”
Chan rips his fingers out of your cunt, grabs both of your hips and roughly pulls you off the pool table.
He fists a hand in the back of your hair and spins you around, shoving your head down, bending you over completely.
You’re lucky you had half a mind to put your arms out to rest your weight on your elbows.
Using his one foot, he knocks the inside of yours outwards to spread your legs even more.
“Fucking look at that,” he marvels, running his free hand up your ass and kneading a handful. After a second he reels back and brings his hand down with a painful smack.
Your one hand flies to your mouth to cover the squeak that you make.
“Bent over, soaking wet cunt just fucking waiting to take my cock.” His hand tightens in your hair. The other hand rips his sweatpants down to take his cock out. “What a good girl you are.”
Chan can’t remember a time he’s ever been this hard.
Casting a look over your shoulder, you look back at Chan. His eyes are blown out, lip pulled in a sneer as he fists his cock, staring directly at your fluttering walls clench around nothing.
“You wanna fill me up, Channie?”
His eyes snap up to yours with a predator-like stare. His hand stops pumping his own cock, hell, he even stops breathing.
Chan’s jaw clenches, every ounce of self control is being drained. How much more of this can he fucking take before he passes out?
“What?” His voice is so strained and hoarse.
Your eyes narrow and you wiggle your hips tauntingly. “Come on, Chan.”
Chan’s eyes darken. He fists your hair and shoves your face down on the table and slams his cock inside you.
Your mouth stretches open in a silent scream, but you don’t let the noise make it out of your body.
Chan’s eyes roll to the back. You feel so fucking good.
“Holy shit.” He moans out. “Jesus fuck you’re so fighting tight.”
He wastes no time, pulling his cock out to slam back inside you. Your back arches and hips press into his to meet his thrust.
Each sharp wave of pleasure shoots down your legs and into your toes.
Small gasps and whines make their way through your lips.
Chan leans down, yanking your hair back to pick your head up slightly. His face comes down next to yours.
“You like this, yeah?” He whispers harshly. Thrust after thrust slams against your cervix. “You like when it’s rough?”
Closing your eyes tightly, you keep your mouth shut, trying to nod with his hand so tightly wound in the crown of your hair.
“Better be quiet, then. Don’t want someone coming out and seeing you look like a cum hungry, whore.”
Over and over again he fucks into you.
After one harsh thrust, your mouth drops open and before you can moan loudly, Chan’s free hand covers your mouth tightly.
“Feels that good to have my cock inside you, huh? Can’t control that pretty mouth, you’re so fucked out.”
You whine and nod again. Nails digging into the felt of the pool table underneath you.
Hot, white pleasure is coursing through your veins. You’ve never been fucked like this in your life.
Chan leans down more and bites at the side of your neck, lapping at the skin and leaving small marks that will fade by the morning.
“You’re fucking lucky you have to be in a bathing suit in front of your family tomorrow. Otherwise I would leave my fucking mark all over you.” He bites, but doesn’t suck. “Make sure everyone knows you’re mine.”
Another whine is stopped by his hand.
“I have a better idea, babygirl.” He bites your earlobe, pace slowing down within you. Instead, he thrusts deeper, you can practically feel him within your gut. “I’m going to do exactly what you said, yeah? Fill you up? Make that pussy sloppy with my fucking load.”
Your hips jerk back into his to try and encourage him to pick up the pace. Chan only tightens his hold in your hair.
“You’re going to take whatever I give you, every last fucking drop. Even after I pull out, I’ll stuff you with my fucking fingers so nothing gets wasted.”
Arching your back, you press into him more.
“You want that, huh?” He growls, biting your ear. His pace picks up gradually, each thrust rougher and faster than the last. “You want my seed inside you?”
You nod pathetically.
“You want me to fuck a baby into you?”
His thrusts start growing erratic.
You never expected him to be this talkative during sex. But he hasn’t shut up once.
Another nod accompanied with a whine comes from you. You’re absolutely drowning in pleasure.
“Gunna carry my kids, got the fucking perfect hips for it, yeah? You’ll look so fucking hot all pregnant with our kids. Fuck.”
He’s so lost and fucked out, he can’t stop his mouth from running, spewing all his fantasies.
Moving his hand from your mouth, he trails it down to grab at your throat.
“Chan!” You moan out, licking your dry lips.
“Can feel you clenching, babygirl. You gonna cum for me? Gunna cream on my cock? Suck up my cum and hold onto it with this tight fucking pussy?”
“Yes yes yes yes.” You pant over and over again. “Kiss me, kiss me, please”
When you turn your head, your lips smash together.
The coil in your gut is seconds from snapping.
You bite Chan’s lip and pull back.
“Fuck me full, daddy.”
Every muscle in his body tensed and his thrusts turn into something animalistic. The hand in your hair is so tight your scalp is screaming.
“Say it again.”
“Fu-huck,” is all you’re able to manage.
“Say it again.” He barks in your ear. You’re not going to be able sit down tomorrow.
“Daddy.”
A bite to your neck.
“Again.”
“Daddy! Fuck me, daddy!”
“Holy shit.” He whines in your ear. Hearing you say that makes him feel fucking insane. His body is acting on its own.
With a few more thrusts both of you are thrown over the edge at the same time. Your cunt clenching around him so tight, Chan can barely breathe.
His cock spurts and sprays within you, painting your walls white.
Every single sensation feels so good you think you leave for body for a few minutes. Your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks.
His entire body is wrapped around yours. Grunts in your ear keep you grounded.
You feel so full.
Chan came inside you so much that it’s leaking out and dripping down the inside of your legs.
He pants heavily into your ear.
Releasing your neck, he lovingly runs his hand down your side, caressing your hip, massaging circles into the bone.
His hand slides around and cups your lower stomach tenderly.
Slowly, he unwinds his hand from your hair, kissing at the roots he’s been relentlessly pulling on. He scratches and rubs at your scalp to ease the ache.
But still, he hasn’t pulled out.
Chan kisses the top of your head and down to your face, kissing the cheek he’s able to reach.
You can’t catch your breath.
“Y/N,” he whispers into your hair.
You hum back to him, eyes still closed in bliss.
“I love you.”
Your heart jumps in your chest, Chan feels you clench around him.
“I love you too.” It falls from your lips so easily, like it’s been sitting there for so long, just waiting to be heard.
Both of your heads turn to kiss one another.
It’s so ungodly sweet for the events that just took place minutes ago.
His lips are so soft and plush, especially from being swollen from your steamy kisses.
Inside you, you can feel his cock twitch. Is he…?
Breathlessly, you pull away from his sweet kiss.
“Are you still hard?” you pant.
Sheepishly, he smiles and ruts into you. A moan catches in your throat.
“Babygirl, I’ve been waiting for so long to fuck you. It’s going to take a few times before I’m ready to call it a night.”
He's yours and it's raining, life couldn't get better!
Pairs: Lee Minho (Lee Know) / fem!reader
Theme: fluff, explicit
Warnings: cock warming, not proofread, 18+ NO MINORS
Word count: 0.7 k
You had plans to dine out tonight, but as the soft drizzle of rain turned to a somewhat thunderstorm. You open the window and take a deep breath, but you have to close it soon since the cold air makes you shiver. You stand there, looking at the blurred city lights through the glass, listening to the pitter patter of the rain. The dim lights of the evening invite you to stay in the coziness of your apartment
You feel his arms wrap around you from behind, he kisses the side of your chin.
“All I wanna do right now is cuddle up with you.” He says as if he read your mind.
“Me too.”
“Really? So can we have out dinner date tomorrow night?”
“Sure baby. Just let me make some coffee, then we can cuddle all you want.”
You turn on your hill to give him a quick peck and then disappear to the kitchen.
Minutes later when you’re back with two mugs of hot coffee with milk and cinnamon, you find him sitting on the bench beneath the window, peering out the view. You place the mugs on the table next to the bench and sit in his lap. His hands are quick to circle your torso as he rests his chin on your shoulder, the soft tuft of his hair tickling your neck.
At moments like this, it feels as if the time has stopped, as if the whole world stayed still, and you two are the only people in it, the only people who matter. You don’t know how long you sit there, utterly silent, only the rain and the occasional sipping of coffee can be heard.
He’s done with staring at the rain, he can only control himself so much when your bodies are flushed against each other like this. He starts with lazy kisses on the side of your neck, he takes his time with each kiss, closing his lips on a patch of skin, giving it a lick, sucking a little, and finally letting go of it with a wet smooch. You roll your head back to give him more access, your hand reaches behind his head to play with his locks. He does the same to your shoulder and when your sweater stops him from further marking your skin, he lifts his head up to kiss your chin, working his way along your jawline, your cheek and finally his lips are brushing against yours. You adjust yourself in his lap so you can properly kiss him. His warm wet tongue swirls around yours, probing every corner with so much excitement as if discovering unmarked lands. You pick up the faint taste of cinnamon on his tongue. His hand slides under your sweater, rubbing your side.
He needs more, you can sense it, but he knows how much you love the rain, so he’s holding back until it’s over, then he’ll take you to bed and make love to you properly. For now, he can settle for a make out session by the window. You, being the sweet caring girlfriend you are, decide to give him some relief. So, you break the kiss to say: “I wanna try something.”
His big boba eyes meet yours in curiosity, waiting for more explanation. Your hand fumbles with his waistband and drags his sweatpants and boxers down to free his member. It’s not entirely soft but you need it fully erect for you little plan. You stroke it up and down while kissing his neck, his head rolls back and little whimpers start to fall off his lips. When he’s hard enough, you pull your sweats and panties down and align it with your soaking wet entrance. His eyes screw shut as you slowly sink down on it.
“Let’s stay like this while it’s still raining. I’ll keep you nice and warm for me.” You say as you rest your body against his, your head on his chest where he’s heart is beating with excitement. He holds you tight in his arms, peppering kisses atop your head, whispering sweet nothings in between.
Feeling full and wrapped in his warmth, somewhere between listening to the melody of raindrops tapping against the window and his heartbeat pounding against his ribcage, you fall into a slumber. He lets you have this little rest as he’s gonna make sure you won’t get much of it later that night.
Your head rests in the crook of Chans neck while he aimlessly clicks his controller. He’s been gaming for the past 4 1/2 hours and you were tired of it. The only thing keeping you awake and grounded in his lap was the fact that he had his cock buried inside your aching cunt. Chan was distracted by his game ofc but the only thing you were focused on was the way his girthy length would thrust into whenever he got mad at his game.
“Channie please” you mumble into his neck. He lets out a half huff half groan at that.
“Baby I told you I’m almost done” he answers sounding annoyed, but bites his lip trying to hold back a groan when he feels you clench around him. He can feel your arousal leaking out of you and onto his bare thighs and thinks maybe he is being a little too harsh. Feeling guilt stir in his stomach he puts his controller down and when your eyes pop open at the feeling of his warm palms on your hips, he can’t help the small smile that creeps onto his plush lips.
“I’m sorry baby, I have been playing for a while haven’t I?” You nod tiredly before he gently rolls your hips forward, causing you to let out a small gasp. Wrapping your arms around his neck he does it again but bucks his hips upward slightly.
“Channieeee” you pout instinctively. Chan chuckles lowly before pecking the pout off your lips.
