I wander in a constant state of wonder

The world is not enough!

[wonderwanderb]

Average is OK too!

Congratulations! To all the children who made it through this educational ordeal called board exams. ICSE, CBSE, State board irrespective of what board you wrote for, your scores are fine. I might be making a controversial statement here. Average or below is ok too! Yes, I can say this many times over. As much as I appreciate students scoring high, I also appreciate those who scored second or third class or just passed. Everyone surely made an honest effort.

This post is for my son, my dear Vedant, your scores are an achievement and a testament to your hard work and dedication in studies. Preparing for board exams required discipline, focus, and a strong work ethic. The persistent pressure by the teachers, the school, friends, family, society was overwhelming. Their expectations riding on young shoulders; not fair! Yet, you managed to do well. You scored a happy 72% while most in your class and in the family circle scored 90+ percent.  Good for them as it is for you. So smile and keep your head high. The marks here does not define your intelligence but, merely tested your memory capacity. That's all. I have seen you struggle to understand the formulas and concepts but, you never gave up. You persisted and remained committed to your goal, and spent extra hours trying to understand. Some got it easy and you wondered how they did. You read and re-read until you understood it. Like all your friends, you gave up on your favourite activities to spend extra study hours. Everyone you met gave you (unwanted) free advises. As a good boy, you listened. I have seen you feel helpless and hopeless and ready to give up even. The frustration of not getting some math problem right was intimidating even to me. You have withstood the first storm in the Indian educational system. Only I know your struggle and how relieved you are today to have made it through. You must know that success is not only measured by the final outcome, but also by the journey that leads to it.

We know that you are good at so many other things other than studies. You are kind, generous, and always willing to go the extra mile to help others. You handle disappointments way better than most your age. Mature beyond your years and know to respect everyone. Your sense of humor and the way to see life as an adventure is a life lesson everyone who meets you will learn. Your dreams and aims are valid even though they're different. I'll always remember the days you told me not to fall for the matrix, it's a whirlpool. I agree with you wholeheartedly today. You think different and I know you'll do well in whatever you choose to do next. Stay focused, positive, set new goals and continue building upon this success. I wish you all success but, have the courage to face failures and get back up to get it right. As they say, if plan A doesn't work, there's Plan B and 24 other alphabets! So with that, I say, CHEERS! You did it. Take that well deserved break and enjoy the milestone success. You did good and I'm proud of you as always.

Love, Amma.

[wonderwanderb]

Men with fragile egos

Baffled by how the Indian mentality never grows from petty thoughts. Men here think all women need protection as they're weak and naïve and if they dare have an opinion then they have loose morals. In their own words, all men are sick and desperate and given any chance, they will cheat, molest, abuse or misbehave. I beg to differ. The moment women stand by their own decisions and move ahead with what they think is correct, irrespective of what the "societal norms" are, she is quickly bestowed with the badge of a seductress, bold and selfish. And a married woman has too many checks before she can think of her choices. The family name drama, husband's and in-laws' prestige, societal norms, children and hazar other factors. Mind you, the same will not matter when it's convenient for them. That's when they "don't care" about the society! Case in point, a husband does not like if the wife agrees to teach swimming to men. He is ok with her teaching children and women but, just not men. She is a teacher and that's what must be considered. Instead the man goes on to demean and belittle the wife and her work. Quick to judge her intentions. However, the extra income is most welcome to support the family expenses. I fail to understand what irks him more; the fact that the wife is making her choices and decisions without "consulting" him or taking his consent? or that other men will get "physically" close to her which in his sick head can make her sway! His justification is that men are sick.. all of them and will include himself to make his point sound valid.   Wow! the double standards. It's ok for them to socialize with other women without being judged but, dare the wife do the same. The wife's argument is if he trusts her, then none of it matters. Note, this man will not listen if the wife disagrees on any of his actions/decisions. Then how does he think that he has one upmanship or the authority to overrule wife's choices? Is it our culture? The Indian mentality? The upbringing? or just insecure men with touchy egos? They can't even handle their own fears and limitations. Where does this thought start really? Will this change if she agrees to abide by his disagreement? Will it make it any better for them as a couple if the "wife" agrees to the "husband's" likes and dislikes. He is quick to give her an ultimatum to move out of his house and give him a divorce if she goes ahead with her decisions. It's that easy for him. I truly believe; no "affair" can happen with just one-sided involvement. It is always from two people cowardly following their needs. The wife's dilemma is to whether to go ahead and do the right thing knowing she is not doing anything wrong and compromising her integrity. OR must she just let go of the opportunity and go back to listening to her husband's wishes and cater to his whims and fancies. I doubt this kind of arm-twisting can let them progress as a couple. Any relationship thrives on trust, space and respect. If even one is missing, then the basis of that relationship is already on line. This mentality is seen even with the most educated (maybe it's best to say literate?), talented, rich and cool men. How they treat people shows their integrity. Unfortunately so many fall short here. One can only hope and try to change the narrative by bringing up children to respect one another. Sensitize them to understand relationships without bias, gender discrimination or family pressures. Boys must not be brought up with that sense of entitlement where they think girls, especially the ones in their lives, are "meant" to serve and obey them. Maybe it's time to say ok and just move away from such toxic relationships. Maybe for once, the woman must prove her point and stay by her choice.

[wonderwanderb]

An exasperated mom.

My child is not a prodigy. My child does not have special mathematical abilities. He’s, if I may say so, average in studies (except in some fav subjects). As much as I wish he was good (excellent even) and make me proud by getting top scores, this isn’t really happening. I’m frustrated, annoyed, angry at times, helpless at other times. What’s wrong? I wonder. Well, to see perspective, NOTHING is wrong. With him, me or in his upbringing. It’s just his personality. He takes it easy. He gets the concepts well, can articulate it well in speech. It does not show so well when he writes. He just thinks faster than he writes. I do wish he put in more effort in bridging that one gap. My advises fall on deaf ears. Being in his pre-teens, he thinks it’s OKAY not to - clean his room, practice math everyday, revise day’s lessons, score well in tests...  

My reason for writing this blogpost is for this same reason. It’s the age that makes them so (over)confident. They are exploring the world and handling the physical and emotional side of the story. To top it all, they have the Indian educational system wrought with Indian parent expectations to match up to. His levels of frustration are far more than compared to mine. 

I’m an exasperated mother. I say this because, I am on the verge of giving up telling him to do all that he thinks OKAY about. I also feel compelled, as a parent, to at least guide when he is “straying” (gosh! rolling my eyes, in the Indian context...of course). Although, I see the positives in him, my point is that during his basic school years, a little discipline will get him to go a long way. In all fairness, he is a smart kid. He is aware of his surroundings, good in general knowledge, excellent in sports. Is passionate about his activities and is creative too. Maybe, just maybe, he is not made for the Indian classroom set up. He might just excel in non-traditional learning environment. But, for reasons best known to me, I cannot give him that option. So, the only way I know is to mentor him to cross this hurdle called school by embracing in all subjects and the quirks that come with it. Am I wrong? Am I telling him to just look at a workaround until a problem is gone? Am I helping him understand the advantages of the system? Is it really worth pushing your children to do well in all subjects knowing their affiliation and aversion? I’m sure at some point and not, at other! However, I do know, when we believe in their goodness as a human being, I can breathe easy that they will manage life well. When you believe in their talent and learn to ignore their aversion to blatant knowledge, you have given them wings to survive in this world - on their terms. Being average is okay too :) 

[wonderwanderb]

The “Trophy wife”’s story

Recently, I heard this title unceremoniously given to a dear friend of mine. It got me thinking. Why? I define it as a derogatory term given to housewives (another one that gets to me), stay-at-home-moms, hands-on moms, homemakers. Honestly, these women are not there without choice, it’s what they’ve chosen for themselves. Most often than not, these super moms have dropped their careers to be with what matters most - their FAMILY. I agree with them completely. It’s a choice and they’ve made it purely out of love. Let me tell you about this dear friend in whose defense I write this post. 

She has a degree in accounts and auditing. She plans her house budget like a pro. A quick thinker with lots of travel experience. Has an acute fashion sense and is a self-confessed shopaholic ( I give her that! Retail therapy never hurt anybody :)). Her sense of style and clothing choices that fit so well on her well-toned body; they are topics of envy among her groups of friends. Can easily give any models a run for their money. Non-judgmental and compassionate towards everybody she meets. Then, she manages her home like a smooth run machine. What with the husband having a high-flying job that takes him across the globe most part of the year. Two school-going (might I add well-behaved and loving) kids who take away all her attention. She cooks, attends to household chores, ensures the cleaning is done from clothes to cars! Oh! she has help! Of course she does, but I challenge you to try coordinating it all by yourself and not complain. She gets the house help,the gardener, water supplies, car services, electrician, plumber, taxi driver and even the travel agent to do their jobs. Bills, premiums, installments are all take care of - ON TIME. Reminders are sent too.  

Coming to the kids, I always see her giving undivided attention to them. The husband, meanwhile, is traveling and interacts with them over video calls. She ensures their home work is done, their school projects are complete, studies are up-to-date, they have restricted TV/gadget time, drives them to take classes, lets them play outside, dances to latest videos, choreographs it too! I’d say she’s multi-talented. Never misses any body’s birthdays. Always makes time for a quick celebration. She catches up with friends (and she has many), lunch or dinner outings with friends from school, college, walking track, neighborhood, common friends.. phew. I tell you, even with all this, she finds time for herself to do YOGA or just watch movies on Netflix. 

As a daughter, she is a concerned and a responsible one. Calls parents and in-laws to check on their well-being. Attends to their needs and is always informed about their whereabouts. The husband is oblivious of all that’s going on in her day. His business is to get to office, spend (”harrowing”) hours in meetings, making decisions for the company etc, etc. Comes home to a warm nice place, eats his dinner, checks on kids and just gets busy on the phone! That’s how it works for him. Every once in a while, when they step out as a couple,all that she gets is that “she’s a trophy wife”. Thank you, all you judgmental fools, for you really don’t know what she goes through each day to make him look good and take a leap in his career while she holds the fort. 

It’s not just about this one woman I know, most of our mothers did it, millions of them do it even to this day, EVERY DAY. I say, can’t we appreciate them for this? Instead of labeling them for something they’re not. Most don’t know what a trophy wife does really - well, she does nothing. Dresses up and preens around showing off her latest labels and getting pampered, and attending flashy parties. I don’t see many doing any of that. I can go on.. but then, it wouldn’t do justice to them anyway. Showing my respect! :)

[wonderwanderb]

Losing a parent

In life, death is the only thing that’s inevitable and the ultimate truth. Losing a loved one, especially a parent can be emotionally draining. No matter what the support system, circumstances or  how prepared your are..letting them go is not easy. Especially if you have watched them suffer through years of pain and despair. I have watched my dad go through those tough years of heart ailment and other organs slowly giving up. Many times, we rushed him in a coma state to the hospital and after a few days of suspense about his survival, he’d wake and feel all well. For 10 years, I saw my mother live through the trauma but, silently cater to his needs. Just a few months before my dad’s death, he was hospitalized and was in a coma for 4 days. My mother, brother and I had started to prepare ourselves for the inevitable to happen. He awoke the 5th day and came home the following day. All seemed, miraculously, OK. Yet, when he actually passed away on a seemingly normal day, I was in shock and kept thinking it was too soon. I still felt he left us too early and there were still so much I had to say to him. Alas! It’s all said in my prayers now. 

My best friend since college, Ashwini, her mother lost her battle to cancer today. She was diagnosed with lung cancer just 5 years back. Having known her for almost 20 years, she was a fighter alright. She was an epitome of positive. Ever since I’ve known her, she’s been a mother figure to me. From lending a ear to all our post teen woes to advising me on marriage and handling the foe who come with it. She was right there on her rocking chair and the chai brewing in her kitchen. I shared a sweet relationship and can say she was god sent to my life. She saw me through the roughest of patches and never for once judged. To see her suffer through her cancer days was heartening. She cried when she felt helpless or hopeless. As did I. She called to just talk about a book that she was reading and how it would benefit me. I looked forward to her words. I will forever miss our conversations on those occasions that I’d visit her. Chitra aunty, I will forever miss you. I know you found your peace finally and I find solace in that thought. Rest in peace. 

[wonderwanderb]

The day I tore both my ACLs

That day started out as any other day out on a weekend outing with family. Excited, alive and enthusiastic about the day’s activities. Was feeling so blissful that there was no scope for negativity at all. I hadn’t a clue that a few hours from the time I woke that morning, I’d be writhing in pain. This would further lead to a life changing moment. Something that’ll slow me down for a very long time. 

Yes, it happened when all seemed perfect. we headed out to a nearby waterfall in Kalasa, I saw a dead log and thought of taking a picture because the background looked so serene and perfect. I coaxed my son to take some pics and jumped from there. No, that’s not when it happened. My husband and his niece and her husband decided we all jump and take that pic. So we did. It was a good pic but, we wanted one more take. And the second jump is when all hell broke lose. I say that’s when my stars changed! I jumped with the rest of them but, I did not stand. I buckled with excruciating pain and fell face down. Could not feel my legs from the knees down. I panicked and though everyone around helped me up, I wasn’t so sure about myself anymore. I felt wobbly, the knees were giving in. My rational thinking kicked in and I went ahead with the rest of the day playing in the water. By evening, I could barely walk and used a hiking stick which my son had, for some strange reason, packed. Family members danced around a camp fire that night while I sat and watched them... all in pain (pun intended). The pain was getting worse by the night and I had to endure it throughout because there was another day to spend on this weekend getaway. At this point, I did not know the extent of my injury. For that matter, I did not even know what ACL was nor its functions. I had not name to my injury... as yet.

[wonderwanderb]

Sarkari Hiriya Prathamika Shaale, Kasaragodu

I’m glad I went for this movie. I’m also happy did so with my son. The movie is a treat to watch with simple cinematography and dialogues, tongue-in-cheek humor, persistent problems the govt. schools in rural, remote villages in India are facing. All have been so beautifully and thought-provokingly captured. I loved it that someone like Rishab Shetty chose a subject so politically drained. Diving into the movie, it’s a tale of saving a kannada medium school in a village (kasaragodu) by the kannada speaking crowd. Kasargod, which was once part of Karnataka, now part of Kerala and hence, is wrought with a language divide. My take; having studied in Karnataka and being a kannadiga, this movie gave me quite a few goose pimple raising moments. I can state with pride that my language is one of the best. I have wondered why the kannada-speaking crowd would shy away from speaking or even encouraging their kids from studying it. It’s heartening to see that we favor some foreign language over something that we think and dream in. I think in my mother-tongue first. i do. Unfortunately, we do not write as much as we should in Kannada and thus, we see it die a natural death. I still read kannada novels, magazines and poetry. I appreciate it just as much. I encourage my kids and I think am partly successful too. I make it compulsory for them to speak it at least at home. What’s the use of calling it your mother-tongue when you do not speak it? I see that as rude and frivolous. My 11yr old enjoyed and was intrigued too at the problems the rural kids face. He said, that he’s fortunate that he does not have to think on these issues and THAT, I think is good enough a lesson for him to be grateful.

From the village set up to all the characters was so perfectly set. The casting was tailor-made to seem exceptional. From the ever-ready to fight Raghava, to the useless Bhujanga, the helpless school headmaster, to the children.  I appreciate that Rishab chose a non-ensemble cast. The children did justice to their screen time. The rage, the anger and the helplessness of situations does get us to think and do out of the ordinary. Anant Nag, one of my all-time favorite heroes, was excellent as usual. The songs are apt, thought provoking and melodious.

Puberty is such an innocent phase and one cannot be judgmental on the rights and wrongs of it. It’s innocent, naive at times, jealous at other, and always ready to please. I’m not new to one-sided love stories. Having had the experience myself, it’d be a lie if I denied I got nostalgic! :) Praveena’s love for Pallavi touches the right chords and in a funny way mocks the infatuation/ puppy love. My favorite was Mammooty’s innocence.

I would highly recommend watching this movie, for the effort that has gone into sensitizing these issues. Having studied in a convent, I was fortunate enough to have had the nuns who respected my language and did not steer us away from learning it so well. I’m grateful for the best of teachers who made it so much more fun while learning. Sadly, I do not see the same enthusiasm in today’s schools, especially for Kannada. I have had too many arguments on the importance of learning the language of the state, with my colleagues, friends, family (too) from other states. I argue that it’s not because I’m a fanatic but, because it’s good to learn the language of the place that YOU have chosen to live in. It’s also good for your (and child’s) brain to utilize .01 percent (extra) to learn another language anyway. Hope this movie gets better visibility and reachers wider audience and strikes a pinch with all who choose to watch :)

[wonderwanderb]

Why the ridicule

Dear reader, kindly note that my posts on my yoga practice is not show-off. This writing is for those who chose to body shame me, call my practice a circus act (not taking offence as I consider that as performance!). The reason I post my practice is to let people know that I, with my not-so-perfect body, can do the asanas that are considered difficult. Consistent practice is the key to achieve those asanas. I didn’t have it easy nor do I do now. I too have problems, just as you, and struggle with weight issues, time-management (sometimes mismanagement!), in-law distress.. you name it. But, I have chosen to overcome and manage my life around/through it all. My body has withered quite a few storms and I have put behind consistent practice to get my body to be that flexible. It’s not easy but, it’s not impossible either. You do not have to have a thin mid-riff to bend or twist a certain way. It’s taken me many months (even years) to get the alignment in an asana right. I’m still at it and intend to go on as long as I can. 

I chose not to give excuses, lame reasons, work pressures etc to doing something for myself. I love my life and give myself enough time to recharge, even if it’s only for 15-20 mins in a day. I don’t see why some would choose to call my practice a show-off and call me privileged. Maybe I am. But, kindly note, I have taken control and decided it’s required - for me. Some ask me the question, even with so much practice, why I’m still “over-weight”. Well, I’m healthy, active, happy and doing well emotionally with divine grace and conscious self effort. I do have weight issues but, have chose not to see that as one. Instead, I channel my energies to bettering myself through my practice. And who said being in a certain weight range will qualify/certify your well-being? I have known people who are lean having serious health issues. I have also known women who “seem” over-weight to us are agile and active with no complaints whatsoever. So, please do not consider being “lean” as healthy and being “fat/plump/over weight” as unhealthy. It’s a matter of perspectives too. 

[wonderwanderb]

The managerial mismatch and the milieu

As in every profession, I see a constant mismatch in the skills and the roles people play in organizations. Someone with little or no interpersonal skills gets to manage people. A person with exceptional abilities to empathise with co-workers can be seen being sidelined. Why? I ask that question often but, with no satisfactory answers. I see that at a managerial level, one starts to play favourites. A good manager is rare to come by and far less to find these days. Wonder what the criteria are when they pick favourites. The number of years of experience? I wish they considered that. Looks? Seriously? Or the personal equation of the manager with the favoured? This baffles me to my wit’s end.

years of experience on a job brings in the required amount of agility. Agreed. Not everybody measures up. Most have something to contribute to the team from their experiences. Maybe, they are not forthcoming. Have not developed their communications skills or are easily intimidated? Too bad they did not work on recovering from such weaknesses. However, given the right focus and opportunity, I believe they will shine. 

Coming to those that don’t deserve, but are up there because of barter of favors. It irks me to be even associated with such idiots. They act like they know everything.What a pity! such people give me my daily dose of laughter and amusement too. In my unfortunate association and acquaintance with such morons, I see they are eager beyond the requirement, sound enthusiastic for no apparent reason, and show up at meetings like they own it. They suffer from ‘Yes Boss” syndrome and that appals me. A minute earlier they’d be refusing to budge their stand and immediately upon the manager’s wave of a finger, they agree to go the extra mile. How? Why? I may never know.

Life in the corporate has taught me to take all this with a pinch of salt (a lot lately). I say it’s their karma. Most believe climbing the corporate ladder with senior-level tags will give them the edge over the others. Some believe being there will earn them the respect and some are just bossy by nature and to be there for that same reason. Being ahead means so much that they can trample over sensitive, fragile relationships. Personally, they lose everything that they have for money, fame and a few people working under them. What for? I ask. 

[wonderwanderb]

Assam-Meghalaya

A wanderer must not feel at home, for she may lose focus and settle down. In a bid to stay true a promise made to myself, I impulsively said yes! to an ‘all girls” trip to the North-East India. We were 11 girls planning to travel to Assam and Meghalaya for 5 days. After the initial technicalities such as flight and cottage bookings (which thankfully was taken care by my travel agent), we settled down to what we do best-Chat! We created a whatsapp group to stay in touch and discuss minute details relating to our impending adventure. 

I for one started to assess the personalities by reading their whatsapp updates. This was just to know what kind of people I will be meeting. It is now a good time to mention that I would be meeting 9 girls, for the very first time, on the day of our travel. Was I nervous? Apprehensive? NO. I was quite open and was actually looking forward to meeting these new “Traveling Divas” (we called our whatsapp group by that name:P) We had planned everything, from what to wear on each day to the mandatory items to be carried, like lipsticks, shoes and what we can shop where? Yeah! we are girls right.. makes it acceptable to have shopping plans in the itinerary. 

Assam and Meghalaya are gems of North East India. Often ignored for fancier, touristy places. Both the states don’t cater much to a hep-traveller. It is still untouched by most modern amenities (except for mobile phones and 4G network). All through our trip, there were few and far places which did not have network. What was wonderful to note was even a wayside hotel, dhaba had clean toilets, it was a surprise. Made me wonder if we, city dwellers, can really call ourselves civilised. Simple people who take care of their surroundings. No wonder Mawlynnong ( the cleanest village in India), is nestled in Meghalaya. Worth a visit. The roads were clean and well tarred. The temples were simple and easily accessible. Food was simple too, Roti with locally grown veggies and dal-chawal was awesome. Do try the locally grown fruits, veggies and berries. 

I will remember River Dawki for its visual treat. At the border of Bangladesh, we took the small boat ride and enjoyed the clear waters. An amazing feeling when you step down into the cold waters. Living roots bridge at Riwai is worth a walk. Shillong was beautiful, quaint cottages at Aerodene cottage made it special. Like the universe wanted us to enjoy the most of Shillong, torrential rains all through the night, gave us the emerald view of the valleys the next day. 

Our shopping spree at Police bazaar was an experience to cherish. Go for woollen shawls, cloaks, caps sweaters and other knitwear. A mixed feeling washed us over on our return journey back home. I wanted to stay... a little longer (a sense of belonging to the mountains). I also wanted to get back home to my children (oh! how I missed them during the trip). 

I’m going back there for sure, with my children and friends... to experience the mountains, the valleys, the visual treat, the energy.. all of it. I also want to see what new thing life has to offer while I'm there again. 

[wonderwanderb]

..Continued

A working woman has chosen the life of juggling her family life and work. It was a conscious decision mostly, some were forced and some were given a choice and some others resigned to their fate as they had no choice. I being one such working woman, face everyday dilemmas. Trust me, each day I fight the constant guilt about not doing enough for my family.I have the will and most days I do my best. Starting with keeping up with my health, I want to exercise and stay fit but, I choose between my gym time and the time I can spend with my children - Choice I make. I want to cook scrumptious meals and serve platter to plate dinners but, I choose a quick and easy dish so it saves time to finish up on that science or English projects. I choose to (safely) rely on those hands-on moms’ inputs and updates on school activities. I rarely get any weekend free to just laze and relax. Most often, I'm catching up on chores half done during the week, catching up on unfinished school work, and sometimes even an unfinished cookery project! The pressure is constant and the timelines on both sides don’t help. If guilt trips were measured, then we working moms would easily travel for free with the air miles that we accrue. On a fresher note, I feel we have enough independence to take our minds off monotony and showcase our talents. We feel accomplished when we receive praises for our efforts at work. To be able to contribute to the family’s income is definitely a morale booster and lets us have a say in crucial decisions. We get to network and build our knowledge base. They are articulate and enterprising because of such exposure. Quick to adapt to situations and good with their interpersonal and intrapersonal skills, all thanks to the experiences in the corporate (outside home) world. 

A working woman may come across as a fighter because she has learnt to focus on her goals. She is good at crisis management too; having fought the war of unfairness, gender discrimination and conflict of interests. At the end of it all, she is still a woman with interests and aspirations of her own. She pushes herself to do and be better each day so, she can be an inspiration to her children. She earns her rewards maybe some in cash and others in appreciation which she richly deserves. 

[wonderwanderb]

iRespect

Just a random thought about how the ever-feuding topic - Working woman vs Homemaker. Manushi Chillar, Miss India World 2017 won her coveted title in the world forum. Yay! She was asked which profession deserved the highest salary and why? Her winning answer was, a Homemaker should e be paid the highest salary as they dedicate their lives to the best interests of the family. They give up their careers, choices, likes and dislikes to align it to suit that of their family members. Their time is equally and dominantly divided among husband, kids, household chores and umpteen other things to run a house like a smooth running machine. I Respect such women. I truly do. They have the best of times with their families. They know what the kids did in school each day, they know their husband’s progress and are constantly supporting their growth at work. I admire. They choose the menu for the next day and some even have it listed out for an entire week. They can whip up the best of dishes (even normal ones which taste heavenly) in no time. They are hands-on when it comes to their children’s project work or exams. They are darlings of their society as they are ever aware and vigilant of the surroundings. Homemakers give us, working mothers/ women, a complex when they type “knowingly” in those whatsapp groups (yeah… you did not know? oh! this was given last week.. you get the drift). They are proud parents. A sense of achievement washes over them when their child excels in academics, sports or any other activity. Their houses are neat, laundry’s always done, maid makes no nakhras, family in best of health, take vacations as per her itinerary, Master chefs.. the list is commendable.

Cut to the present, these homemakers are not just bound to the four walls. They have the freedom to take that free-time between morning chaos and evening schedules out of the house. I have known most women have an active social life (both online and off it). They are the social media freaks, who are forever connected and sharing latest happenings. They wear trendy outfits, shopped at seasons sale (damn! I missed them). They go to the best of restaurants and try out all the cuisines from across the world (with a noble intention of getting their husband and kids to that place :)) They juggle between their Yoga, Dance and Zumba classes :) I see they constantly seek for a sense of belonging. The need to feel accepted and want the society to think their contributions are worthy. I say, they know less, I respect them for this. Having to hold your own when the whole world is out there seeking more meaning, you decided to give it your best in the field that you excel. I RESPECT. Please ladies, I, as a working mother/woman, seek your support constantly for the updates. You are my “go-to” people for any advice. Think no less of yourselves. You do not need a fixed salary because you are not on a fixed-price project. You run the family, you do the accounts, you know there’s no price for the love and affection and the forever dependence. Keep your head held high girls! You are the working women’s lifeline - 911. You made the right choice and I'm sure you would have it no other way. The family’s love and respect and the appreciation, the warmth is all priceless. 

[wonderwanderb]

iRespect

No connection to the title, just a random thought about how the ever-feuding topic - Working woman vs Homemaker. Manushi Chillar, Miss India World 2017 won her coveted title in the world forum. Yay! She was asked which profession deserved the highest salary and why? Her winning answer was, a Homemaker should e be paid the highest salary as they dedicate their lives to the best interests of the family. They give up their careers, choices, likes and dislikes to align it to suit that of their family members. Their time is equally and dominantly divided among husband, kids, household chores and umpteen other things to run a house like a smooth running machine. I Respect such women. I truly do. They have the best of times with their families. They know what the kids did in school each day, they know their husband’s progress and are constantly supporting their growth at work. I admire. They choose the menu for the next day and some even have it listed out for an entire week. They can whip up the best of dishes (even normal ones which taste heavenly) in no time. They are hands-on when it comes to their children’s project work or exams. They are darlings of their society as they are ever aware and vigilant of the surroundings. Homemakers give us, working mothers/ women, a complex when they type “knowingly” in those whatsapp groups (yeah... you did not know? oh! this was given last week.. you get the drift). They are proud parents. A sense of achievement washes over them when their child excels in academics, sports or any other activity. Their houses are neat, laundry’s always done, maid makes no nakhras, family in best of health, take vacations as per her itinerary, Master chefs.. the list is commendable.

Cut to the present, these homemakers are not just bound to the four walls. They have the freedom to take that free-time between morning chaos and evening schedules out of the house. I have known most women have an active social life (both online and off it). They are the social media freaks, who are forever connected and sharing latest happenings. They wear trendy outfits, shopped at seasons sale of course(kidding.. no offence). They go to the best of restaurants and try out all the cuisines from across the world (with a noble intention of getting their husband and kids to that place :)) Yoga and zumba classes are a fad. They are health conscious too alright! :) Having tried many other classes for themselves they settle for the ones which give great gossip (good morale booster - katte maathugalu!) I see they constantly seek for a sense of belonging. The need to feel accepted and want the society to think their contributions are worthy. I say, they know less, I respect them for this. Having to hold your own when the whole world is out there seeking more meaning, you decided to give it your best in the field that you excel. I RESPECT. Please ladies, I, as a working mother/woman, seek your support constantly for the updates. You are my “go-to” people for any advice. Think no less of yourselves. You do not need a fixed salary because you are not on a fixed-price project. You run the family, you do the accounts, you know there’s no price for the love and affection and the forever dependence. Keep your head held high girls! You are the working women’s life line - 911. 

[wonderwanderb]

You dare not!

Recently, a cousin of mine attempted suicide. She survived. Thank god! Just today, heard about a techie falling to her death.. police suspect Suicide. This brings me to a persistent question. Again and again..WHY? I wonder what makes a person think they can bring such pain to themselves? What is the ultimate goal that they wish to achieve? Do they wish to prove to the world that they were down and suffering? Make the family and friends feel guilty for not noticing or helping? Or is it simply dramatic to die the “karan Johan” way? My senses fail me to understand this. I understand there might be issues in marriage, relationships, work, finance and in other experiences. We all go through that one phase where we want to give up. But how sane is it to actually do so? This life is given to us to live it fully, complete our karmas, learn our lessons. One cannot give up and think death as a better option. It isn’t an option. It is inevitable and definite. Give it time to come to you. For this one, you do not need to row out to reach it.

Although one needs the courage to bring such misery to one’s body, you need not, rather dare not have that courage. You need not be so strong here. Talk to someone, seek professional help, join some classes, read books, do YOGA. Anything that takes your mind away from distressing thoughts can give you another beautiful day to live. Think of the good times you’ve had. Walk out of the room to feel the fresh air, cry if you must but, don’t you dare take that leap. Don’t you dare think of the ceiling fan as appealing. If you know me (as a friend, acquaintance, relative),  I’m here. I will hear you and not judge you for your feelings. Even if you don’t know me well enough, PLEASE TALK. I will listen. I will help. I will not share your story coz I'm good at keeping secrets. 

[wonderwanderb]

times I tell myself “I can do better”

[wonderwanderb]

The tigress me!

[wonderwanderb]

my yoga conquests