Letters Ill Never Send

Within, without

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

Moving on from someone you never thought you would is it’s own form of heartbreak.

[aidashakur]

i ain’t no weak bitch but i didnt deserve to go through half of the things i’ve experienced

[dreamlessdesires-blog]

“There are songs that still feel like your teeth on my neck.”

— Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradicspoems)

[heronfem]

“Somewhere else- in a different story, maybe, in another place and time we had a good life we lived well we loved well we held ourselves as rocks against an ocean beat. But this is not that story and we are ocean waves dashed against the shore.”

— exhalations of old air

[mymouthisfullofstars]

“you know, i looked it up: haunt (verb) to keep coming back to the mind of someone especially in a way that makes the person sad or upset when you say it people always think of ghosts but they never think of someone living i never thought it’d be this way”

— how’d we get so far away from where we left off yesterday? 

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

We were in “intimate” space. Habin could feel it. There was . Fuck. You smell the same. You feel the same.

Youre 20 minutes away and I can’t sleep.

Life isn’t fair.

It’s not fair.

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

Every time we go to LA my parents always comment on how it’s changed. The freeways are bigger, the stores are bigger, the culture has exploded. They talk about Franklin street where they’d go to do laundry in a place that’s now a Chinese restaurant. Everything’s bigger. Everything’s different. My, how time changes things.

But then there’s their old favorite Cuban restaurant. The apartment he grew up in. The church they met. Little pieces of themselves still embedded in this metropolis.

And that’s how I think it’s going to be when I see you after a year has passed. Maybe it’ll be more. I’ll see the new hair and the different clothes and the new words and it’ll be like a catch in my heart because it’s a reminder of all the time we let pass between us. I’ll see the new roads and the overwhelming experiences that I wasn’t there for and I’ll never know.

But maybe, but maybe, I’ll find the laundromat on Franklin street of your smile. Maybe I’ll see the same mannerisms and you’ll smile that same smile that always got my heart going. I hope your laugh stays the same forever. That, that’s a blessing. I hope I’ll still see the me in you.

Because if there’s one thing I’m certain, it’s that I’ll always the carry the you in me. It’ll never change.

Maybe we’re a mirrored destiny.

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

Time is thimble. Time is unfounded.

Time belongs in the reality of those who are destined to understand.

Time rips and seers and it heals and molds and it leaves. Above everything, time leaves you. It leaves you gasping with your head between your knees when you realize you’ll never be 19 again and in that apartment with those two amazing friends that smelt of candle wax and warm sheets. It leaves you crying tears of joy when you realize you’ll never be 17 again, left wondering why the universe decided to dance on your head and twirl your thoughts into angry demons.

Time leaves you to realize three minutes have passed and they haven’t answered you with words because their silence speaks louder than any string of syllables should ever sound, should ever shout.

Time just leaves you. It picks you up and drops you into a new age a new time a new reality and expects you to follow with weary eyes and a strong grasp as it dances it’s way into the eternity you’ll never understand and were not prepared for.

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

I just wish it was you. Every vibration I feel from my phone. Is just another reminder that it’s not and even if it was, it’s not you. It’s not the you that belongs with me anymore.

I just wish it was.

[odense]

“Do you know what I want of life? / That I can be with you, you, all of you, / and if life repeated a thousand times, / still you, you, and again, you.”

— Forugh Farrokhzad, from  Sin: Selected Poems; “On Loving,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

I have to accept the truth of my heart.

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

Will I ever stop missing you ?

Will I never get over this?

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

We’re driving around the city and it feels like the world just stretched out and became so much bigger but then we pass by a billboard with your favorite cheap wine on it and suddenly the world is so small. So so small.

Too small.

[wonderwhatitwouldblike]

We’re in the same city, and I’m daydreaming about seeing you on the freeway and staring at each other for a split second before your exit makes you turn away and I’m left wondering if you turned with the exit or because of the exit.

I wonder if you can feel it. That I’m here. Because I can feel you. I can feel all of our hidden memories and missed opportunities with every bump in the road. I feel it in the air of the city. You’re here.

I’m here.

What could have been.

[aristosacchaion]

Sorry.

[gulegardiner]

this scene is always heartbreaking to watch. and not even because of elio who said that he came because he wanted to be with oliver. we all know that only a few hours ago he didn’t even know about his feelings about oliver. it’s heartbreaking to watch how oliver asks ‘do you know how happy i am that we slept together’ and elio is just lost. and oliver knows that elio really doesn’t know how deep are oliver’s feelings and it was like that almost from the beginning, then they just met 

requested by anonymous

[filmsby]

    Call Me by Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino