3 days of mourning a friend.
first night felt like a reunion we didn't ask for. i remember nung shs, tatlo kami na pinagseselosan ng ex ng bff ko - ako, si rich, at si d. we have pics from before na kaming apat lang kasi nga bonding kami palagi. who knew this is how we'd recreate it years after?
we drank sa forage (now known as rico's) in commemoration of rich, we would always drink here nung summer before college. our go-to place!! felt weird since it's different now (the place and the situation and life in general). we tried remembering as much as we could, and i can imagine you sitting there with us, laughing with us.
the second night, there were more of us mourning and remembering you. sobrang funny and cathartic makipag-usap sa mga kaibigan mo from different phases of your life. it's like knowing the 100% you, the parts you never showed us. and it was also heartwarming to share with them how you were with us.
sabi ng iba mong friends, dun lang nila nakita sa pics mo with us na ganun ka kaexpressive about your gender. and i remembered that night na nag-usap tayo sa may playground ng condo namin, sabi mo sakin hirap kang mag-out sa pamilya mo kasi kuya ka sa limang magkakapatid and di mo alam pano ka tatanggapin ng family mo. it makes me sad that you never got the chance to become your full authentic self here on land, i hope you get to celebrate pride there in heaven.
the third day was your burial. akala ko ubos na mga luha ko para sayo, akala ko tapos na yung galit namin sa mundo kasi kinuha ka na samin. it still feels unfair that we get to live and you don't. but i guess, atleast, di ka na nagsa-suffer jan, rich. i'll always remember you in every 5sos, aespa, and troye sivan songs that i'll hear. <3
