don't look

MINORS DNI. ho there. nb 3d. over 20 adult. just a sad washed up failure of a man. wannab bodybuilder.

[wordemeto]

pinned

24 nb minors dni

adhd

bodybuilding n sicko mode

i draw play videogames make videogames program study crochet write read and watch stuff

my 2 fav things in the world are hardcore music and coffee

thanks

[ruhrohrexia]

if you comment on someones eating habits while theyre eating you automatically qualify for the death penalty sorry i dont make the rules

[cyb3rneticbun]

Reminder that if you work out your muscles, and they are sore the day after, it can make your w8 higher on the §c@le. Muscles support healing by storing water and glycogen, and causes a bit of inflammation(healthy kind ofc).

Do not beat yourself up - this is not f@t, just your body healing.

I have to tell myself this often.

[bxbypxwderr]

I hate being here when my ED isn’t swinging towards restriction it makes me feel dirty and disgusting and just makes everything worse

[wordemeto]

its so weird ... its like my ED has literally shut off since i got into this new hobby more seriously. so much of my time in the day is taken up by working on the hobby that its like i ignore my ED? sure, ill have a pre-bed plate of a few cookies and a glass of milk. sure, i will take pics of my food for logging purposes but then never log it bc i find it too draining to do. i am worried about weight gain and still want to lose weight, but its like... everything has been put on mute?

im in a bad pattern of ignoring my hunger for long stretches of time and then overeating too. its like... i dont wanna eat, but then i eat to stop the physical stomach pains, n i eat too much. :/ im not as rigid about scheduling and hunger isnt super distracting anymore but its still annoying.

i still need to lose more though. i need to lock in. idk, its just been weird, ive also had to skip gym bc of bad sleep and then food poisoning >_>"

[wordemeto]

i let myself not restrict for Three Days and immediately i become extremely emotional and feel like bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. its like restricting keeps me "stable" (numb) and "productive" (looking for distractions from food)

[ttorirexia]

eating is hard and not eating is hard and exercising is hard and not exercising is hard and following all my rules is hard but so is not following them and it’s just hard and my body hurts all the time my back is so sore

[wordemeto]

restricting isnt even about self punishment or sth for me its literally just .... a habit

[wordemeto]

im feeling so awful ive been homebound bc of tiredness now bc of a storm ive been barely sleeping ive had 3 rest days so far its already 5pm and i Wanted to be productive today but my brain is rebelling so much and i feel so bad for doing Nothing today and the past 2 days except sit at home and read. i also havent eaten since morning andi Know i should eat i can feel my legs feeling weak but i dont Want to. i dont want to i want to drag it out i dont Want to eat after 3 rest days but i know im just gonna feel worse and be absolutely unproductive if i dont eat. but i dont Want to

its getting worse. im in the kitchen now with every intent to cook but i feel like i could hurl at the thought of eating despite having food thoughts about Tofu of all things. im actually gonna cry

[wordemeto]

idk if whats wrong w me recently is depression, hormones, or overtraining syndrome... like, nutrition aside, ive been feeling super weak and fatigued during workouts despite earlier fuelling, my legs ached in bed last night, i couldnt fall asleep, and my adhd is going weird and i feel all jittery despite taking walks n such

[elfirexi]

oh to lose an incredible amount of weight in a very short amount of time so everyone is worried about me and then get put into therapy, recover miraculously but stay relatively thin and be able to talk about my inner struggle and be constantly told how wonderful and strong I am

[wordemeto]

the scale read .... below 60 kg today ..... i stepped on it thrice to check the weight ..... just a few days ago i was at the high end of 61. i know i've been overestimating my meals intentionally but that's .... kinda scary

[wordemeto]

i havent weighed this low since genuinely last year same time .... damn .... went too fast with my plans anyway because i KNOW i wont be able to keep this up until my vacation in 5 months lmfao i should either do maint until easter or something idfk

[wordemeto]

the scale read .... below 60 kg today ..... i stepped on it thrice to check the weight ..... just a few days ago i was at the high end of 61. i know i've been overestimating my meals intentionally but that's .... kinda scary

[wordemeto]

my arms look so masculine and burly today 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰feels happy

[wordemeto]

pants i bought a month ago are now too large on me ... uh oh

[wordemeto]

ok hate is a strong word that i dont use. i just highly dislike things :(

[wordemeto]

uh oh i'm feeling extremely chatty today hahaha adhd meds please kick in 🤡🤡🤡🤡