“I want Bobby, I want Bobby. I don’t want this fucking shit” not to be dramatic but I feel like that’s one of the first times since Bobby’s death that roier has spoken about wanting Bobby back? Usually it his usual defence mechanism if “he’s dead very dead, dead and gone” like I know it’s all haha he’s trying to tame the magma but I was genuinely a little taken aback when he said that??
in the superhero au did the other Brazilians have to sit richas down like: that's your dad cellbit, he just got out of prison, he's nice
Yeah sort of lol
So they got Richas a year or so before Cellbit’s release and so Richas got to hear all these stories about his absent father… but he didn’t know Cellbit was in prison, he was kinda just told that Cellbit’s a nice guy, he’s just a little busy rn. So he started getting fed up with all of this and he did his own research on his school iPad and, two days later, Cellbit was led to the visitation room. He was expecting Forever, but, nope. Some kid was sitting at his usual desk with a homemade card and a big smile on his face.
“Where are your parents?” Cellbit asked as he sat down.
And the kid slid his card across the table. “Look.”
Inside the card was a cute little drawing of a little dragon boy holding hands with a big cat man. Cute. But then Cellbit read was written inside, and he had a literal heart attack because in big red crayon letters was “YOU’RE THE FATHER!”
In the end, they had a great first meeting. It was unfortunately cut short by the literal mayor bursting into the visitation room and immediately grounding an uncaring Richarlyson.
Cellbit hung that card up in his cell, he got special permission to do it. And the first thing he gave his son upon getting released was a kids’ watercolor set and a little watercolor sketchbook, because maybe they’d secretly been exchanging letters for a year or so because maybe Cellbit is a bit of a bad influence. But Richas loves him, so that’s all that matters
It’s two in the morning, Cellbit is sulking his way back home from yet another attempt at the Federation’s air vent system, and it’s snowing. Christmas is in a week and a half; Richarlyson’s present, a pack of those fancy art markers that cost twice what Cellbit makes in an hour, is in Cellbit’s backpack nestled between a packet of stolen documents and a handgun. He’s tired, he wants to go home, and-
“Stop.”
It’s quiet, a hoarse whisper from a nearby dark shady alley. But Cellbit stops because it’s a kid.
Dying, he hears. Cucurucho, dyingdyingdyingdying-
Cautiously, he looks around. Empty streets, snow piling up in inches. Fucking cold, ice flying in the air. It’s gonna be a nasty storm, so he should really be getting home. But-
But it smells like blood.
So Cellbit hikes his bag up on his shoulder and steps out of the storm and into the alley, and he almost steps on a tiny dying hero.
“Oh,” he softly says, his body losing all its tension as he takes the kid’s broken appearance in. “Hello.”
The kid glares up at him. He’s… small. Just a bit bigger than Richarlyson, maybe. Standard Junior Hero uniform, mask over his eyes and nose, and a lot of blood.
“Stop staring,” the kid huffs. His teeth are chattering, and his lips are blue from the cold. “Just call the Feds for me.”
“Oh, sure,” Cellbit lies. He shuffles to the kid’s side to try and block out the worst of the wind, and then he crouches just a little, just enough to try and see what the damage is. But the kid scowls and curls in on himself, wincing as he moves.
Ribs, then. Cellbit recognizes that flinch, he’s seen it on enough of his victims.
Wounds are fresh, fresh enough for the kid to still be alive, anyway. Torso wounds suck. Easy to give, harder to make lethal.
Cellbit sighs and pulls out his phone. “Which one are you?”
He doesn’t have the Federation’s app downloaded (because fuck that), so he texts Forever instead; he’s the mayor, he’s gotta have some kind of Federation of Heroes Hotline going on. He’s probably awake. If not, well. Maybe the police can actually do something useful for once.
The kid’s chest puffs out despite the pain, and he says, “I’m Thorn, duh.”
He’s a child, that’s what he is. And he’s a fucking terrified one- Cellbit doesn’t need to use his ability to feel the fear coming off of him in waves. Because he’s a little boy who probably hasn’t seen his parents in years and he’s all alone in a storm dying and the villain who did this to him is still out there waiting.
Forever texts back: ‘🤬🤬🤬’
So he’s told the Feds, who probably have an evac team on the way. Because this is the leader of the most recent Junior Hero graduating class, and it’d be bad PR to let him die alone in a ditch somewhere in the city.
But, well… he’s a kid.
So Cellbit slides his phone back into his pocket and presses the back of his hand against Thorn’s cheek. Thorn hisses- fucking hisses- and tries to scoot away, but he can’t get too far with whatever injuries he’s got.
“Calma,” Cellbit says, letting his ability do its work, “I’m just checking for a fever. My son gets them all the time, I know exactly what I’m looking for.”
And, yeah, Thorn’s feverish. More importantly, though, he’s calm. His heartbeat evens out, and so does his breathing.
Thorn stares up at Cellbit in shock. “You’re a dad? No way!”
What the fuck?
“Of course I’m a dad!” Cellbit protests. “Look at me!”
He drops his hand from Thorn’s face and gestures towards his t-shirt, hand-painted by Richarlyson and reading, “World’s Okayest Dad”.
Thorn is not impressed. “You look homeless.”
And technically Cellbit is, but he isn’t just going to say that! Not to someone who’s technically his enemy.
So he huffs and crosses his arms and plays at being dramatic. (He’s got plenty of experience after dealing with Forever for so long.)
“Whatever,” he sulks. “You’re the one in a stinky alley. At least I have a shower.”
The kid’s lips twitch into a very hesitant little smile. Mission accomplished.
“Yeah, but you don’t use it,” he counters.
It’s a shame Richarlyson hates the Federation almost as much as he hates showers, because he and Thorn would probably get along pretty well. (Maybe Forever can set up a play date…)
Cellbit makes a show of smelling his jacket- clean, freshly washed. He makes a face, anyway, and Thorn giggles, and it’s kinda hard to hate the enemy when they’re made up of literal children.
“I never said I do my laundry,” Cellbit sniffs. “Do I look like I have that kind of money?”
“No!”
“Hey!”
The kid laughs, head thrown back. And then he grimaces and doubles over, eyes briefly squeezing shut.
Cellbit takes another look around the alley. Nobody’s there but the two of them, which makes sense. What kind of villain would stick around after supposedly killing the Federation’s Junior Hero poster child?
With a sigh, he settles down into the snow next to Thorn with his back against the chilly wall.
“You called them, right?” Thorn asks.
“I did better than that. I texted the mayor.”
Thorn snorts. “The mayor doesn’t have any friends, pendejo. He’s too busy being the mayor.”
Ouch.
“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”
“Tell him that I’m gonna beat him up, too.”
“What?” Cellbit gasps exaggeratedly. “Why would you want to do that? He’s the mayor.”
“He’s stupid. He wants to put the Junior Hero Program into schools so all the babies can join it.”
Thorn frowns. He’s not scared, Cellbit made sure of that, but he’s worried. A bit different, and unfortunately out of Cellbit’s wheelhouse.
“My son wants to join,” he says.
Thorn shakes his head. “Well, get him out of it. It’s not worth it, man. Too much homework.”
“I thought you were gonna tell me it’s too dangerous.”
“Nah, it’s pretty chill.” (Now that’s a lie.) “I spend most of my time doing paperwork.”
Cellbit frowns sympathetically. “Yuck.”
Thorn sticks his tongue out. “Yuck.”
And it keeps snowing. The colder it gets, the closer Thorn gets until he’s pressed up against Cellbit’s arm shivering. Hesitantly, slowly, Cellbit puts that arm around Thorn’s shoulders and lets him try and huddle for warmth as best he can.
“You’re a weirdo,” Thorn mutters.
“I’ve met weirder.”
“Nuh-uh.”
Cellbit rolls his eyes. Yeah, he and Richarlyson would be very good friends.
It’s quiet, and then:
“Can you make me scared again?”
Cellbit’s heart stops. “What?”
Thorn turns his head to give him an unimpressed look. “I’m not stupid. I won’t tell anybody, but it’d be weird if they show up and I’m super chill, you know?”
“But-”
“I’m a hero, man. Nothing scares me.”
He’s also a child.
Cellbit gives him back his fear, anyway, this time with a simple worried head-pat. Thorn grumbles and leans away from the touch, but he got what he wanted.
Cucurucho, Cellbit hears, and, for once, he agrees.
Tires from down the road. That’ll be the Feds.
“You’re a brave kid,” he says. He squeezes Thorn’s shoulder with an assuring smile. “Stay safe, okay?”
He stands, and he helps Thorn up as well.
“Whatever,” Thorn grunts. He swallows the pain and stands up straight and tall as the Federation’s van pulls in front of the alley and slows to a halt.
Cellbit watches Thorn get helped into the van, and he watches the van drive away, and he stands there in that alleyway until he’s cold enough to become a Cellbicicle.
Then, and only then, he looks down at the single red rose poking out of the snow where the kid had been sitting.
(Rumor has it Thorn only grows roses in honor of his parents, reportedly both deceased. Cellbit doesn’t know if that’s true or not, but he leaves the rose be, anyway.)
One of my favourite things about hanging out in the trans community is how it has and will continue to slowly erode my ability to blend into cishet dominated social settings. I'm just fundamentally on different wires now, and that's great because I never liked those social settings anyway
One of my favourite things about hanging out in the trans community is how it has and will continue to slowly erode my ability to blend into cishet dominated social settings. I'm just fundamentally on different wires now, and that's great because I never liked those social settings anyway
One of my favourite things about hanging out in the trans community is how it has and will continue to slowly erode my ability to blend into cishet dominated social settings. I'm just fundamentally on different wires now, and that's great because I never liked those social settings anyway
the qsmp really popped off when they made the eggs consciously living beings with thoughts, ambitions, wants, and needs, capable of giving, and feeling. what i love the most is that by doing that they’ve placed a massive moral dilemma on the islanders that plagues the narrative. because yes the eggs are a simple tool for the federation to use with the purpose of getting the residents to stay on the island complacent and attached. but also once adding the layer that they’re real children being actively mistreated and experimented on by some government organization for whatever sick reason there is immediately creates a crossroads. you cannot reduce the eggs to simple tools after that because they exist in the story the same way as any other player character. the eggs are real people the same way the federation workers are real people. we see this practically shouted at us in the diary of the abandoned egg in the adoption center. despite never having seen that egg you know they were living and breathing. everybody in the story is innately human in one way or the other. and it creates a lot of interesting grey areas and nuance to all actions taken.
I love Dadza. I especially love Dadza being thrown into sad lore because it helps me project intense terror of getting attached to others because Good Things Always Go Away and getting attached makes it hurt more on his characters.
He’s a bird! He’s flighty, he likes to nest high up, far away from everything that can hurt him emotionally or physically, and he already got attached to the eggs and now they’re Gone and now he’s in a Cage and can’t Fly Away (any more than his clipped wings will let him) and so now all he can do is rip the pain out pluck pluck pluckpluckpluck
There’s a reason Q!Phil was the only one that was punished for the lava casting!
The thing is, they don’t really care about the lava casting. What they truly care about is the fact that Phil is angry.
Phil in previous times where there has been heavy lore hasn’t really reacted, even when the eggs disappeared before. But now he is reacting and he is angry. And an angry Phil is not something to take lightly.
The reason he earned the name “angel of death” in the first place because of how much death he & techno caused on smp earth. Everyone knows not to mess with Phil because he can fuck you up if he wants too.
And this angry Phil is getting involved in the order with cellbit, an organization directly against the federation with some of the most powerful people on the sever involved. Him getting involved with that scared the federation, so they trapped him!
They manipulated the heavy emotions he’s going through to trick him into going to that bird house looking building. And now he’s trapped there, isolated and with none of his items. He is utterly and completely alone.
The federation is hoping to break Phil down, to make sure he will never lash out against the federation again. They want Phil to be a broken shell of a man by the time they let him out.
guys i have terrible news. i can't find the government assigned catboy post. it's like it's legitimately disappeared off my blog like if anyone can find it @ me in it because i NEED to see what i was cooking
So you know how every member of the QSMP Census Bureau (see: Curucucho & Osito Bimbo, Walter Bob, other Faceless Workers) is an animal?
Imagine q!Cellbit went into his infiltration arc as a human. Then he disappeared.
Then, after a few days as an Official Census Bureau Employee, Cellbit wakes up from his conditioning and he immediately runs to the glass separating him and a groggy q!Felps, who has just woken up as well. And Felps looks at Cellbit a little weirdly, but he doesn't say anything because, well, it's none of his business what Cellbit does with his body.
And then there's the rescue, and it isn't until they're all gathered at the Favela recovering from the fight that q!Max points at Cellbit and shouts, "They turned you into a furry!!"
Because Cellbit walked into that Federation building as a human, but he warped out of it with cat ears and a tail, and he really doesn't know how to feel about that.
And of course half the island takes this as a sign that he's still working for the Federation, but Cellbit isn't. He isn't! He knows that he isn't because no other Federation employees look like him: they're fully anthropomorphic. He's only got the ears and the tail and some of the instincts. He wasn't done yet. They were going to do more, but he woke up.
He hates it. His ears are gone, removed and replaced with fuzzy little things that sit on the top of his head and twitch every time someone speaks. He has a tail that seems to move on its own that he can't get under control and that he can't stop accidentally slamming into doors. His fingertips feel empty- missing claws, and he knows that they're missing because the items in the area outside of Felps' cell had claw marks all over them, and he has feeling that the Federation realized their mistake and declawed him.
But that's just what's physical. He hisses when he touches water. He has to take a special medicine (Federation-provided, of course, the bastards) to drink coffee now because he's allergic to caffeine. One day Bad brought a laser pointer into the Order and he recorded Cellbit instinctively putting his hand over it every time it flashed its way onto the table near him.
There are other hybrids on the island. Baghera is half duck and half fish. Jaiden is a parakeet hybrid. Philza has crow wings that would block out the sun if he could fly. Felps is half phantom now after Cellbit killed him in prison. They've all been helping him get used to his new self, been showing him the ropes of how to deal with new instincts and foreign body parts. And he appreciates it, really, but he also thinks that he'd rather be dead than be a Federation creation.
Because that's what he is now. He'll admit it, and he'll hate it, and he does hate it. The Federation made him this way. He was more than fine with the gatinho nickname and he was fine with the cat jokes that Richarlyson and Pac and Mike would throw around, but now? The jokes just kind of land flat.
...He still lets Roier call him his gatinho, though. He thinks he'd die if Roier had to start calling him something else. And when Roier pets him, he does it softly and almost reverently, his fingers only almost brushing against Cellbit's ears. He's mindful not to tease too much, because he knows what it's like to be a treated like an experiment (whatever that means.) Honestly, Cellbit appreciates he thought. He appreciates Roier.
But. Still. It sucks. He isn't himself anymore. The Federation took the privilege of being him away, and he's going to fucking break them for it.
The political/cultural context behind Forever's campaign slogan
This is a post I've been meaning to do for a long time now, since I had a talk with Kia a few weeks ago about the automated translations and Forever.
We were talking about how out of the Brazilians, Forever is the one who the translations are always off even when he sets them right. And the reason for that is very simple, of course. The automated translations are not suited to be able to get the different dialects Brazil has, neither to understand slangs. Specially Brazilian slangs, which are rooted directly to the culture and history of the country, the addiction of the dialect aspect worsening the situation.
That's when I realized, our speech is so rooted in our culture that even Forever's "Do the F" is something that is rooted to the politics/culture of the country. And none of the gringos even know that.
"Do the F" would be the translation for "Faz/faça o F", which is a parody of the political slogan "Faz/faça o L"
The slogan itself gained more force during the Brazilian 2022 elections, but the act itself- doing the letter "L" with your right hand- was something that already happened before. The "L" stands for "Lula", which was the main opposition to Bolsonaro in the elections.
I don't want to go to deep into Brazilian politics, but Bolsonaro was basically Brazilian trump. He's an alt right politician. Between 2016-2022, the working class in Brazil was severely demobilized. The last hope against him in the power was Lula, and even then, he was considered elected with 50,83% of the votes, compared to Bolsonaro's 49,12%
The slogan became a meme, which worked in favor of the campaign, mostly. It's something catchy, it's something that it's easy to promote- you just need to take a picture of yourself doing the L.
Then, when Lula won, Bolsonaro supporters tried to use the meme in their favor. They would say stuff like "Then, when the country goes broke, then you do the L". That. Actually backfired terribly, because people turned it against them and started mocking them back in the same way.
When Forever became the president, people started jokingly saying "Forever pay for the server". And now, whenever Forever crashes, his chat gets filled with "Now you do the F". Not in a supportive way, and not in a way that it's against Forever (like the Bolsonaro supporters use the "do the L"). They say "Now you do the F" as a way to both have fun and mock the people who unironically say "Now you do the L" after something bad happens.
It's sort of funny to see how much context there is behind his slogan, and that no one outside Brazil has any idea of how deep it goes (I can only imagine how weird it must be to see a character complaining about a presidential decision forever has, and see Brazilians doing the "now you do the F" joke. it must sound so rude lmao but generally they don't mean any harm or bad implications but are simply having fun with it).
list of concerns to be addressed in the next big evolution update. i want to see solutions to all of this in the patch notes
human skeleton system. it's bad
menstruation. i understand why it has to happen and i guess i can understand why it happens monthly but there has GOT to be a less painful way for bodies to go about all that
why do my eyelashes fall in my eyes when they fall out sometimes it just seems very silly that my eyelashes protect my eyes from everything but themselves
make the pelvis bigger
breathing and eating tubes need to be further from each other
babies should gain xp faster once theyre out of the womb. theyre absolutely nerfed for the first half decade of their lives it puts players at a huge disadvantage
autoimmune defenses need upgrading
balls should be inside the body. there's literally a spot u can push em up into. they should stay in there. less dangerous
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
kianamaiart
