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i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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will byers stan first human second
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izzy's playlists!
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
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@workitout4yourself
2018 is the year of not settling. The year of not short selling myself.
I’m done settling for jobs, people and life situations that don’t align with my expectations.
No more settling for the bare minimum from anyone.
I hold myself to the highest standard and that will go for anyone else in my life as well. I’m only trying to be surrounded by greatness.
“If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself. This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.”
I often wonder how many more scientists we’d have if we congratulated kids for working hard rather than praising them for being smart. We need to get rid of the myth that science is only accessible to an intellectual elite.
Yes yes yes!
Malcolm Gladwell and Matthew Syed have both written books about this and it’s well known phenomenon in psychology. If you tell people they did well because they’re smart they actually under-perform in future, whereas if you tell them they do well because they worked hard they just get better and better. The myth of talent is really harmful and frustratingly persistent.
I can vouch for the damaging after-effects of inculcating children with this mindset. I’ve been praised for being “smart” for the majority of my life, and never learned how to emotionally deal with struggling and working hard at something. It didn’t help that the usual refrain I heard at home consisted of “well, you’re smart, why don’t you understand X already?” and internalizing my inability to instantly understand something as an unforgivable defect since “being smart” was so inherent to my identity. I was not allowed to admit that I didn’t know or understand something and needed help. Nowhere in this experience was my work or effort at something ever valued. When I was younger, my mother even took to re-doing my assignments and not letting me turn my own work in.
That mindset stuck even after I left home for undergrad, where I majestically imploded into a vomiting fetal ball of anxiety and academic failure. I could no longer “coast” on my slightly-above-average ability to comprehend complex concepts quickly and evidence of my failure to live up to this “smart” identity piled high right and left. I had no idea how to even start learning how to learn at such a late age (at least then I felt it was late) and fell apart at the earliest indication of things not panning out despite me actually putting in some effort for once in my life. But this “smart identity” was so central to my personality that I couldn’t turn to any of my friends to admit this and eventually ended up isolating myself socially since I became so preoccupied with just containing my emotional response to all of this failure. I spent days lying in bed, sleeping and crying my life away, doing absolutely nothing. I actively wished I’d get hit by a car or a bus every time I crossed the street to drag my zombie carcass to class. The big “S” word loomed large in the back of my mind, but I thought of how my mother would really be angry that she’d already paid for the semester and I’ve wasted her money by selfishly offing myself (in retrospect, my mother would not really be this heartless, but it demonstrates the darkness of my thoughts at the time). I made half-hearted attempts to see counseling at school but I felt so much shame at my situation I couldn’t be honest with the therapist. I would’t have this problem in the first place if I was actually “smart” like everyone keeps thinking that I am. I had nothing to be proud of and nothing to show for the four years I wasted there. My only thoughts at graduation were “I’m glad this is over and I can move on from this place.”
I’ve never actually discussed this in such great detail to anyone before, so forgive me if quite the ramble. I don’t like talking about undergrad at all and it fills me with fear whenever someone asks me “Oh, so you went to Uni of X! How did you like it?” The opportunity to attend that institution was completely squandered on me as the only valuable thing I can say I learned was how to fail and move on.
Research was the one bright side to my undergraduate experience and that is the sole reason I am still pursuing that now, even though looking back at it my participation and appreciation of it at the time was rather shallow as I didn’t really move past being the grad student/post-doc little helper. The act of scientific pursuit is so littered with disappointment and failure that it has actually helped me in my ongoing attempt to rid myself of this noxious mindset of needing to have inherent talent or brilliance to produce something of value or merit. Yes, there are many brilliant scientific minds out there and they should certainly be celebrated, and I’ve met many people throughout the years who I can say are inherently brilliant in one way or another, but nowadays I don’t find myself aspiring to be them. The backbone of science lies in drudgery, repetition, and hard work, and I’m just happy to be part of this process in my own small way. I am happy to be a tool and a means to an end, as defeatist as that may sound to some, and this has helped me not take my idiocy regarding many topics so personally since ultimately, this pursuit is not about me but the work.
Anyone who knew me from high school would definitely say I’m “under-performing” and am not living up to whatever potential one could extrapolate from my academic performance at the time. I feel like I’m just belatedly learning and experiencing the satisfaction of finally understanding difficult concepts after wrestling with them for days, the emotional stability that comes with being able to fail at something and evaluate what should be done next without being paralyzed by negativity for months on end … you know, normal people things. I’m trying to push myself to do harder things, different things, things that are new and foreign and out of my depth that I’m bound to mess up the first, fourth, tenth time around. I feel like these are experiences I should’ve had already if I didn’t have such a noxious attachment to this idea of “smart”.
I’m creeping towards the latter end of my twenties and I haven’t accomplished what I should’ve by now. Sure, I’m bitter and wish I could’ve been raised differently and maybe that would’ve changed some things. But there’s nothing I can do about that now but deal with it and move on.
tl;dr Smart can only get you so far if you don’t know how to work hard. We should at least learn to value the latter as much as the former, if not more.
The NFL has made it official that they will now recognize same sex couples on their kiss cam so that everybody can celebrate love
The NFL showcased its first same-sex couple in a kiss cam last year. And in an ad for Love Has No Labels, a campaign created in partnership with the Ad Council and R/GA, it announced its efforts to zoom in on a greater variety of people.
Gifs: Ad Council
WATCH THE AD
can 2018 be the year of healing
AU where Dumbledore’s Army uses the Chamber of Secrets instead of the Room of Requirement
Ultimate security as Harry is the only one capable of opening it.
Myrtle proudly spending her time acting as a guard/lookout.
Later, Harry diligently teaching Ron, Hermione, and a few choice others, like Neville, how to mimic parseltongue so that they can open it too.
Muggleborns experiencing vicious satisfaction that they’re using this chamber as a place of education and defense, reclaiming the very space Slytherin built to rid the school of their presence.
Hermione methodically dismantling the basilisk’s corpse, covertly selling the priceless ingredients to potion masters, using the funds to continue their work - buying books and battle robes and new wands for those who can’t afford it.
(Hermione saving a portion of those ingredients for her own research, straightening in triumph when she learns what basilisk venom does to horcruxes, knowing she has vials of it hidden up in her room).
Harry reverently adding the Chamber of Secrets to the Marauder’s Map, proudly continuing his family’s work and reveling in the difference they’re making.
These students - these kids - choosing to train in a dark, horrifying place that was never meant for them. Learning spells amongst shadows, growing stronger in inches of murky water, the smell of a decomposing corpse in their noses, memories of all that had happened here haunting them. They know this is what war is really like and it helps to push them forward.
Updating this because people have brought up some REALLY GREAT plot-holes and I like trying to flesh out my AUs soooooooo…
Ginny is the one who suggests using the Chamber. Of course she is. Harry isn’t the type to think of that, but for Ginny… for Ginny the Chamber still haunts her dreams, too often, and she’s furious that a part of the castle is restricted to her - a part of her home that she wants to avoid. She suggests the Chamber, partly for the DA’s benefit, mostly for her own.
Visibility is a concern - what if someone sees them going into the girl’s restroom? They think it’s a serious issue until Ron starts laughing. No one comes near that bathroom anymore, he says. Not ever. It was barely an issue while brewing a month long polyjuice potion, Ron and Harry popping in and out to add ingredients or to stir. Now though? Now that Myrtle has stepped up her game (shrieking, flooding the room if someone unwanted comes near), now that Hogwarts is infused with rumors that Harry fought a basilisk right in there, now that the nearby corridor still has a bloody, horrifying message that even the professors haven’t been able to erase*… well, students avoid the area like the plague.
Even if they didn’t, the House Elves help them out. Dobby did, after all, suggest the Room of Requirement before Ginny brought up the Chamber. Who better than the workers who see but are not seen to help the DA keep watch?
The castle helps too. By now it knows Harry and desperately wants to protect its students. More than once Umbridge follows a DA member, only to find the staircase moving unexpectedly, taking her in another direction entirely. Sometimes there’s even a door directly beside the lavatory - appearing out of nowhere - that students can slip inside if they feel the need…
Getting out is the other concern. At first they think to bring brooms or levitate one another out… but that’s just not practical. Then, one of the Hufflepuffs asks the obvious and yet oddly illusive question: how did Salazar get out? They start a search and by the end of the day they’ve found at least four hidden exits.
One exit leads out into the Forbidden Forest, a space that’s not nearly as terrifying as it once was. Harry speaks quietly to Firenze and secures the help of the centaurs for when they need safe passage late at night. One day they encounter a group of acromantulas… and Harry learns of Hagrid’s strict new rule - friends of Hagrid are never food, no matter how easy the prey. The students don’t realize it, but they’re slowly gaining allies. Those in the forest begin to take notice of the children who walk both bravely and respectfully through their trees.
(And one day when they’re too tired to walk back, a familiar blue car pulls up and throws open its doors. Ron cheers like a maniac. Ginny laughs and threatens to tell their dad).
Though the exists are great, it’s Hermione who realizes the Chamber’s true benefit - it lies outside of Hogwart’s apparition zone. How can it not? Godric, Helga, and Rowena didn’t know of its existence when they first made the wards. So now the DA can go with ease, they just can’t pop in from anywhere else in the castle. Which is, admittedly, perfect. Apparition lessons begin in earnest.
(And during the Battle of Hogwarts, DA members take Slytherin students by the hand - those who wouldn’t, couldn’t, fight their own families. They take them down to the Chamber and tell them to apparate out. Leave while you still can. Keep safe).
Harry realizing that parseltongue is easily imitated and coming up with an actual password that has to be spoken, one linked to a spell too. It helps that the snakes around the entrance are semi-sentient and are loyal to their new master. They know who’s meant to go down there and who’s not.
Neville joking one day that they should be learning how to use swords, considering that’s how the original battle down here was won. Harry takes it seriously. Not the swords bit, but using physical/muggle fighting techniques on wizards who are too reliant on their magic. They begin reading up on hand-to-hand combat and knives.
Harry needing to test their progress and getting a really stupid idea… but honestly, those often work out in his favor. So one sunny, Saturday morning - when everyone else is lounging outside - Harry sneaks the DA into the third floor corridor. Fluffy is gone, as is the mirror, but the rest remains, no doubt left in case Dumbledore ever had to guard something else precious. Hermione, Ron, and Harry spend the day supervising, teaching their peers how to react under pressure, think through situations, and rely on one another’s skills.
And then one day things get weird (because they always do with Harry) when he realizes that the miniature chamber the basilisk was kept in is the only part of their hideout they’d yet to explore. See, given their rarity, it’s unsurprising that wizardkind knows so little about basilisks - not that they reproduce asexually or that only a parseltongue can hatch the egg. So when Harry crawls into the chamber, and finds a strange egg-like object nestled there, that begins pulsing a soft green color in his presence, and when he basically says, “What the hell…?” out loud, and when it comes out in parseltongue because he is surrounded by snake things…well, let’s just say a few minutes later Harry crawls back out, very sheepish, a baby basilisk cooing around his neck. He laughs pretty shakily and mutters something about finding their mascot.
(And they name the beast - because of course they do - and Hermione invents a soft device to cover its eyes and feeding it is an absolute horror… but they do grow to love their ‘mascot.’ And during the Battle - when Harry is off in the forest and Hogwarts is losing badly - no one is more surprised than the Death Eaters when Ron and Hermione come tearing out of the school riding a goddamn fully grown basilisk. Hermione rips off the cover on its eyes and sets to work).
* “In the book, it says that Filch could not get the messages written by Ginny off of the wall. It is unknown if he ever did, and it has not been mentioned since.”
Fucking love this
Golden Trio + Snow
If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.
Nikita Gill (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
I seen this and burst into tears because I’ve been numb all day
The happys got me…
If you are evacuating in LA due to the wildfires, Lyft is offering free rides if you type in the code LASAFERIDES.
I typed in the code myself and it’s valid until December 7th at 11:59. Don’t forget that a lot of people don’t own a car, so this information is vital to someone’s safety.
