[streetsamurai]

[love-personal]

[depressionarmy]

somewhere but not here

[depressionarmy]

[worldofeuphoria]

I just need someone who can handle me when I crack, when my mental illness shows and when all I want to do is die

This is hard for me too (via worldofeuphoria)

[worldofeuphoria]

This intense love is frightening, because every day, I fear that one more thing will push him over the edge. That one more time of me rolling over in bed, teary-eyed, for no reason, could push him away. I know it upsets him, and I reassure him through my salty, blurred vision that it’s not his fault. I am often overcome with guilt and I hate that my feelings about myself cause any pain on his part. Sometimes he is not easily convinced, but I try as hard as I can with the little energy I have. Some of our nights end in a tight hug and an “I’m sorry” mumbled from my lips, but I’m just thankful that he is still happy to wake up to me every morning.

Every day is a struggle. I am constantly on edge, going back and forth between caring too much and not caring at all, wondering when he will have enough. He is quick to remind me how much he loves me, but I am just as quick to be overcome with crippling doubt. We both know that this is how forever will be, and if he hasn’t given up yet, I’m certain that he is 100% all in.

[worldofeuphoria]

Doubt is normal.

As anyone who’s experienced it will tell you, mental illness is often characterised by almost impressively abundant amounts of self-loathing. You long to be like everybody else, long to worry about regular things and not be constantly monitoring your moods and feeling worthless. You tell yourself that you’re useless, boring, dysfunctional, and broken, and that no amount of self-reflection, therapy, or medication will make you better again. You ask yourself: Why would anybody love you?

It’s not so much the episodes themselves that fill me with doubt, but the aftermath – when I’m slightly more stable and have the time, headspace, and distance to look back and realise how ill I really was. And, at these points, I find it hard to believe that my partner would want to stay with me at all.

“If I’m so useless that I can’t even get out of bed,” I think to myself, “then why would anybody want to be with me? Why wouldn’t they want to be with someone normal?”

Even though you know you have good qualities and know your partner unconditionally loves you, it can be exceptionally hard to stave off the nagging feeling that they’d much rather be with someone who could deal with things even slightly better. You get used to it with the help of affection, love, and reassurance, but it still buzzes in the background, needling at you in moments of weakness.

[melisica]

[lovehigher]

[just-shower-thoughts]

I hate it when people misunderstand my shyness for unfriendliness like no, I actually like you, I’m just a piece of shit that can’t communicate.

[worldofeuphoria]

Just read your post and wanted you to know that everything is going to be all good :) I'm in a situation right now where I don't even get a chance to see my friends and best friends any more. I work far away from where I grew up and was raised all my life and the only people I have are people from work who I really don't like. Everyday I ask myself how I got into this situation, cause it sucks so much :( anyway, just wanted to let you know that things will change for the better soon :)

❤️

[worldofeuphoria]

From the q&a, everyone is like don't be sad, etc

Oh haha. I've had some problems but things are okay right now, just some mental health issues. Thanks for your message though ☺️

[worldofeuphoria]

I sensed that you may be broken or smth, am I right? What happened?

What makes you sense that?

[worldofeuphoria]

Is your dp you?

Sure is

[worldofeuphoria]

Sitting here at work on a completely normal and quiet day. Suddenly i feel a rush of emotion and sadness, like a dark cloud is sitting right on top of me. I can’t cry even though that’s all i want to do right now. That’s depression for you, it hits you at times that you least expect it and when you thought that you were feeling better. Wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

[vhsgenny]

[onewomarshow]

[quiet]

hi