Lovers seem to like my world but they never stay.
I don’t think I’ll
Ever understand how your smile
Could be so sweet
When you kept your soul in the stock room
And I gotta ask about it, because i saw it advertised outside
But I can’t find anything I’ve shown up for in here.
The yellow I collected on the hiking trail that day
Was probably more for me
And proof of how I felt;
That I wasn’t quite crazy,
I was just a stricken bowerbird
Hoping to make you smile with each little gift of color. It’s all I knew, it was the fastest way I thought I could reach you
When sounds were too slow
And comprehension decades away.
When you are in pain,
Why do you disappear?
I thought that , at least, when there is pain
It’s maybe a little bit better to be next to
-breathing the same air as-
the other person
So at least you know with each breath
you aren’t the only one metabolizing this hell.
I am so sorry if I ever brought you there. I just didn’t want to be alone.
Please. someday, I hope you can tell me
Which other dimension you were in
That glitched into mine
And made me think we could have been
In the same love
I had a dream once where all hospital patients awaiting different types of surgery were in the same open, long fluorescent lit room, and there’s only one surgeon. And according to the bureaucracy there,
You just have to wait your turn.
Of course, you never know when.
Each person floating in their own little vat of fluids, hooked up to all the monitors
Moaning, screaming, praying, disassociating. Torturously awaiting their healing. Playing tug of war with pain
Hoping to gain more time, which comes with more chance to be treated and relieved.
I’m in my vat feeling like I never was anyone at all. Why are they keeping us alive if they don’t care about our suffering?
And that’s the whole existence there. The wakefulness, uncertainty, the waiting, and the unbearable pain. You’re just always incomplete, waiting for the pain to end in an apathetic production line.
Love, please don’t go when things get hard.
Yes it’s still hard but we are going to want to do it
Together
The way you carried me across the creek piggyback.
When we went back, you seemed in a rush
And I looked at the western dusk on the darkening water and somehow onew, with a twinge of sweetness
That you were already gone
