It's 8pm and I've only just been allowed to disapparate. They kept me in Padfoot's childhood home. It's a dreary place with the heads of old house elves on the wall and what seems like a hundred portraits of members of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. They were all talking at once when I was taken in, demanding that I say I'm not a blood traitor, ridiculing my size, calling me fat and other nonsense. I did my best to ignore them; they're only portraits after all and no match to the danger the people there held to me.
They kept asking me about Sirius. I didn't understand at first but then I realised that somebody must have slipped them the information that Pads was the Secret Keeper as that was the original plan. Looks like the Order has a spy. I bet it's Snivellus. He's only recently started appearing at meetings, and he was in Slytherin with the rest of the slimy, Dark Arts obsessed freaks. Either that or we were all right to mistrust Remus...
One of the weird Black sisters kept threatening to Crucio me. I wet myself the first time she said it. And they all laughed. No wonder Andy is the only cousin Padfoot gets on with. She never did though. Just kept asking when I'd prove myself useful. And telling me that if I truly didn't know where Sirius was I'd better find out as quickly as I could.
I was just preparing to leave when I overheard the start of another conversation about the Prophecy. I was trying to hear what I could, desperate for the Order to have some useful information (and how surprised Sirius would have been to hear it come from me) when Walburga bustled into the room barking orders at a miserable looking House Elf. Immediately she demanded to know what I thought I was up to, and the two people I'd been trying to overhear came through the door. One I recognised as being the smarmy Malfoy, the other didn't look familiar to me. Perhaps somebody from Durmstrang. There's a school that's obsessed with the Dark Arts. I'm sure I heard that Grindelwald had gone there. I bet loads of the Death Eaters are from Durmstrang. I wonder if any are from Beauxbatons or Ilvermorny…
I'm deviating again diary. I don't want to recall what happened to me next. But I've told myself that I will, because then if I do end up dying somebody might see how hard I tried to be brave.
I was tied to a chair with a quick flick of Malfoy's wand before he pressed it to his left forearm. Almost immediately there was the pop of apparition and a high, cruel voice asked why he had been disturbed. Malfoy began to explain and I realised that this must be the Dark Lord himself. I admit that I wet myself again. As they turned to look at me I couldn't help but stare at the Dark Lord's face. He was younger than I expected him to be. I mean, I know he was at school only a few decades before us but I expected him to look ancient. For the evil that must reside in him to have made its mark upon him somehow. But, his voice aside, he looked well, normal.
After looking at me He said that Malfoy seemed to have me under control and that my little ratty nose couldn't reach into anybody's business from where I was and as such, He'd be back to deal with me when it was convenient. With that there was the crack of disapparition and He was gone. Walburga started to complain about having to keep her treacherous brat of a blood traitor son’s friend in her house but the others just pointed out that it was the Dark Lord's will. And so they left me. Sat all night in my own waste, with a silencing charm placed upon me so that I couldn't talk. They took my wand too of course. Although I worry that had they left it I would have been too scared to use it for anything anyway.
I reminded myself of my plan. I didn't have to lie to the Dark Lord, just avoid revealing the truth. I focused on that as the day darkened before brightening then once more turned into night. I felt like I hadn't eaten or drunk in weeks, although I know it can't have been more than 24 hours. And then, with no warning, He returned.
I pleaded my innocence over the eavesdropping. Said I had heard nothing important (which was true), and He seemed to let it go. But then he hit me with Crucio. I have no idea how long it lasted but it seemed an eternity. I would do anything in my power to avoid it happening again. I cannot begin to describe the pain. As I tried to recover, the Dark Lord parroted my responses to the questions about Sirius back to me. I agreed that he was the most obvious choice, I acknowledged that somebody must have thought something was going to happen to the Potters specifically. I raised my concern about Remus being a spy. And just like that I was released and told to return home where I should await further instructions.
Every time I close my eyes I think I'm being tortured again. I have no idea how Alice and Frank lasted as long as they did. They were so brave.
