I love your blog. Is it ok for soft femboys who want a gentle domme to message you?
Thank you for the kind words.
If youâre messaging me to chat about regular vanilla stuff, sure.
If youâre messaging me just to ask to serve me, no.
But let me tell you why, because a lot of boys are making this mistake, and youâre all sweet and well-meaning, I think itâs just that you donât realize what youâre doing or how youâre coming across.
What are my thoughts on long-distance relationships?
Am I monogamous or polyamorous?
What kind of movies/music do I like?
Who did I vote for in the last election?
What are your thoughts on the controversial pet I own?
You know nothing about me, except for the fact that I run a Femdom blog. But youâd message me asking to serve me?
Youâve got to talk to Dommes the same way youâd talk to a woman you meet anywhere that isnât the internet.
Iâm a human woman first, a Dominant second. In order for me to be even remotely interested in you, there has to be a human connection first.
You have no idea how many guys message me with, âhi, how are you?â And then jump into their laundry list of kinks, assuming I care about what gets strangers off.
Kink can always be negotiated. But if we canât stand each other as human beings, thereâs no fixing that.
Skipping the human part and jumping straight to kink and asking me to own you is exactly the same as the guys who catcall me on the street. They donât care who I am as a person, either. All they see is something that appeals to them sexually.
I know that wasnât your intention. And you asked permission before messaging me. Thatâs definitely a way to get on someoneâs good side. It shows respect and an understanding that youâre not entitled to my time, which already puts you head and shoulders above most submissive guys on the internet. You also used proper grammar and spelling.
Youâre doing a lot of things right, and you only made one mistake. But for women who receive dozens of messages a day from random strangers asking her to fulfill their kink fantasies, even one mistake can potentially ruin your chances.
Itâs not fair to you, but itâs easy enough to fix. Just remember to connect on a human level first. Engage in vanilla talk. Find something you have in common. Make sure sheâs even someone youâd be interested in serving.
If sheâs looking for a sub and interested in you, sheâll bring up kink. If she doesnât, sheâll still appreciate having had a human discussion with a submissive guy, and should her situation ever change, I guarantee you sheâll remember that you saw her as a person first.
And I mean, worst-case scenario, sheâs never romantically or sexually interested in you, and you gain a platonic friend that you can talk to about certain things you may not be able to talk with your vanilla friends about.
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