My Healing Page

Breathe

[theambitiouswoman]

30 Heal Your Inner Child Affirmations 🧸🍭💛✨

I am worthy of love and acceptance.

My feelings are valid and important.

I forgive my past and embrace my present.

I am deserving of happiness and joy.

I am safe and protected.

I trust the journey of healing.

My inner child is resilient and strong.

I am in control of my life now.

I release old wounds and embrace healing.

I am enough, just as I am.

I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

I am capable of creating a life I love.

I am surrounded by love and support.

I am proud of who I am becoming.

I am deserving of all good things.

I am healing more and more every day.

I am open to receiving love and care.

I am connected to my inner wisdom.

I am free from the burdens of my past.

I am brave and courageous.

I am deserving of inner peace.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

I am worthy of trust and understanding.

I am loved for who I am.

I am constantly growing and evolving.

I am deserving of a life filled with joy.

I am a beacon of light and hope.

I am deserving of comfort and security.

I am in a continuous process of healing.

I am embracing my inner child with love and compassion.

[writeheallivepage]

inner child (2 of I don't know)

September 2012, we lost our Grandpa. My mother was devastated. I was devastated. He was the only person on my side. Now it's me, my mother and her lesbian partner. I continued the civil relationship that we had. My mother needed someone to console her and I know I am not the right person. I felt alone again but I somewhat loved that fact. I feel like I can be my own person now. I felt a new era of independence. I missed my grandparents but I need to live for myself. I decided to not care about my mother. I swear this is not what a good daughter is for but I hated it when she asks for my help. lol. A decade has passed and my mother already broke up with her lesbian partner. Now she's dating an older man. lol. I can't with her. I still feel that she's the immature person between the two of us. She's somewhat unconscious of herself. The old man is living in our house, as usual. I feel like she's getting into a relationship so someone can live in our house. lol. I don't live in our house. I work in a different city and I have no plans of permanently living in our town. I don't even consider it my home anymore. For me home is not a single house. It's a place, a person. It could be anything that warms your heart. This will make me feel like the bad cop but I sometimes feel like I don't want to be a part of my mom's narrative. lol. I'm not even sure if I love her enough because I feel like I can't love that much. Honestly, I'm just starting to properly love myself. I am in my worst phase of life. My career is not in good shape, I am broke and depressed. I need a fresh start. I want to leave everything behind and start a new life. I'm not really good at finishing things. When things start to fall apart, I just want to leave. LOL. Help?

[writeheallivepage]

inner child (1 of I don't know)

I've been seeing, reading and watching posts that feeling of worthlessness, failure, procrastination is somewhat caused by your inner child trauma. I've know this for a while. For years, I tried to be the good daughter who doesn't care that she came from a broken family, grew up with grandparents, lost her grandparents, and somewhat forced to live with a mother who is not ready for motherhood. Motherhood was forced into her. I knew and felt that. She got pregnant at 19 in a very conservative neighborhood. My maternal grandparents forced my parents to marry since it is the norm. They ended up in a hell relationship. Broke up when I was two, father went out of town, mother pursued him but they eventually separated in the end. I grew up feeling that my family is a little different. My friends have their Mom and Dad while I have Grandma and Grandpa. It was a normal childhood but the truth is, I've always struggled with my emotions. My grandparents are not the type of person that will console or sweetly teach you life lessons. My grandma especially has an iron fist. lol. If I do something really bad, I'm going to be hurt real bad. I remember thinking that they don't love me and it's better for me to be dead. I was a child for god's sake. I was immature. No one taught me how to handle those feelings. So I just tried to be the good granddaughter but I was a handful. I couldn't imagine how they handled me. When my grandmother died, I was in my rebellious teenage phase. I wasn't ready to loose her. I love her and she was my everything (sorry Grandpa). I saw how her loss affected my grandfather. He became lonely. I saw it in his eyes. It was just the two of us. My mother had her own way of dealing with grief. It was the first Christmas without Grandma and she decided to leave town and go on a vacation with her lesbian partner. My Grandpa and I were eating dinner and I felt like crying. No one said a word. I don't know what to say. I just hated my mother and mourning the death of my Grandma. Them came New Year 2011, my mother came home with her lesbian partner. I though she was just gonna stay for a few days but no. With the amount of clothes and stuffs, I knew that she will be staying in our house. I hated it. I know my Grandma would have hated it too. This is not the first time she had an affair with a lesbian. When I was in grade school, I think I was around 9 or 10, my Grandma brought me into a house because my mother won't go home and she is living in the house of her former lesbian partner. We were the talk of the town. After a few months, my aunt and I went to another house because my mother won't go home. She's staying with another lesbian partner of her. We went to the house but she did not come with us. When she came back after a few weeks, my Grandpa was so mad he kicked her. I hated her but she's my mother. I thought she didn't like me that's why even if she's always not around, I tried to be good for her to like me. Fast forward to 2011, I don't know if her reason was that we need a hand in the house since my Grandpa is old now and she has to work away from our town on weekdays or she just needed a love life to cope with the grief. I couldn't understand her. I never asked. I tried to be okay with the whole setup but I was young. I am a teenager in need of guidance but I felt alone. That year I graduated from high school and I went to college in a different city. I was so happy I was able to get out of the house but I was thinking of my Grandpa. I never realized it before but I feel bad for him. I feel that the whole situation was forced into him. I don't know if he fully grasped the whole setup of my mother's lesbian partner staying at our house. I was living alone in a different city and I liked it. I always wanted to live away from our home. I decided to have civil relationship with my mother and her lesbian partner. Our personalities were different there are times that it would clash but I decided to hold back. I also felt like I was being erased from the picture. I'm just the daughter, I'm not much of a value.

[writeheallivepage]

What a dream. I know for a fact that once in a while I get really horny but last night’s dream was weird AF. A stranger licking my pussy and it felt good. LMAO. We stopped because someone came into the room. Why are we doing sex in a living room??? LMAO

[writeheallivepage]

April 12, 2023 - one of the worst day so far for CY 2023

[writeheallivepage]

"I want to die...."

[writeheallivepage]

Reposting this because looking back, the pandemic saved me. It was the unsolicited rest and comfort that I needed at that time. I can’t help but feel proud of myself for the person that I am today. Imperfections everywhere but I have better things to hold into. 😇

[writeheallivepage]

AM I NORMAL OR I NEED HELP?

Okay. Where do I begin. So Hi. I’m nobody. I am 28, female and no boyfriend since birth. I had this first love of mine that I still have feelings until now. He’s gay. Yes. But he was so cute in his grey sweater when we first met at my first job and I thought he was straight. We became friends and after 5 years (I left my first job after 9 months and that was year 2016) we’re still in touch as “friends”. So one day I was so frustrated I told him I like him. Boom! Turns out, he liked me too back when we were still together as workmates. Yes! He LIKED me! Like he told me I was his crush too!!! LIKED AND WAS. Yeah in the past! So I’m like 5 years late! And he has moved on! I didn’t know that back when I was dying to hold him that he liked me too! I call him my TOTGA. So cut to present, 2023 and I am still fucking single. I have this time of the month where I would get horny and such, I used to think of him but it hurts me so I muted his IG. I am on Twitter and I created this alter account to feed my lustful days. So most alter accounts that I encounter are gay people. You know, m2m. I enjoyed watching it and I would sometimes touch myself watching those videos. I love straight videos too. But what really turns me on is when a straight/lesbian girl fucks with a transwoman. I love it! I watched that movie, The Danish Girl and it satisfies me to watch the couple. I am also following this lesbian couple on IG (trans and lesbian woman) and they’re just perfect. So the point is I am sometimes confuse with my sexuality or what. I know that labels doesn’t really matter but it scares me to not know myself. Am I straight or lesbian? I am not into girls but I am into transwoman and straight / bi guys. I am even open to marrying a transwoman as long as he has still a dick. LMAO. But I think even if it is gone already I would still love her because I will always see her as my man. What am I? I also want to stop this touching myself thing but I can’t. I feel like this is an addiction and I sometimes feel depressed because I can’t control myself. Is this normal or I am just overreacting? 🥲

[writeheallivepage]

Lust. Does anybody have lustful days? Mine is has been going on for a week now. Maybe because I am so stressed at work lately but I’ve been relying on touching myself for a better sleep. kbye.

[writeheallivepage]

mourning

Mourning - this is the right word for what I feel (and still feel) after the result of 2022 Philippine National Election. For years, I lost interest on what was going on with my country. I thought that we are just going to the worst path as a country. Then our Vice President Leni Robredo decided to run for presidency. Alas! She gave us hope that after all the darkness that we had experienced in our current administration, there is light - her leadership. However, things did not turn into our favor. Years of online disinformation, massive machineries, vote-buying and well-planned historical distortion was our biggest enemy. Our Pink Movement is too young apparently. I have a lot of things in my mind but I can't find the right words yet. All I know is right now, I am mourning and scared for what's about to happen to my country. Vice President Leni is still giving us hope when she declared that she will continue to help the poor people through her Angat Buhay NGO which is a current program in her office. The volunteerism that emerged from the campaign period is something that never ever happened in our election history. She's holding on to us same as how we are holding onto her in this difficult time.

[writeheallivepage]

One New Message

Hi Honey. Happy Anniversary! Thank you for being my rock, my constant listener and for being my happiness. Thank you for being always there for me. I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you. You're my greatest cheerleader and I thank God for bringing you into my life. I love you. Forever. ❤️

-Year 2022. A mesage to the future man of my life.

😂

[writeheallivepage]

So I made this post in 2019. 2022 and still nothing. LOL. So how about 2025?? LMAO.

[writeheallivepage]

"Be kind. This is my fantasy. If we can be good to each other, then life wouldn't be that bad for other people."

8.19.2020

00:24

[writeheallivepage]

It has been a constant battle against myself for the past year. I can't win.

[writeheallivepage]

Just when I thought I was safe on Tumblr..😂

[writeheallivepage]

Today.....I finally asked for help. It feels great.

[writeheallivepage]

"Most of the time I don't feel that I'm enough. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I need help but I can't ask for it."

[writeheallivepage]

"Sent my mother a weird message yesterday. She was crying when she called me this morning. So that's what it feels like. I'm sorry."

[writeheallivepage]

"I want to die...."