I have a friend who hasn’t had the best of luck in relationships. Long story short both women took his heart and buried it.
I’ve had my share of heartache and I can empathize with my friend and say that that shit’s for the birds.
Nevertheless, I’m still a sucker for love. I wish I wasn’t. Believe me I’ve tried. But rather than grow ridiculous and deem every man on Earth to be just like the men that broke my heart, I hold onto hope and faith that this lifetime I may find love again.
As for my friend he unfortunately hasn’t mastered what I call the life’s balancing act.
On one end you have rejection and on the other acceptance. What makes things hard to deal with or difficult to get pass is the balance between these two things:
A. accept you, it, he/she, life for what it is
B. reject you, it, he/she, life for what it is
Although I find that acceptance makes the walk a lot more enjoyable then rejection, I’m not one to say ying is better than yang or vice versa.
Rather, in both cases you without a doubt will learn something very valuable.
For my friend he’s made it up in his mind that “Americanized Women” (women who were born and raised in America) are all terrible and he’s better off finding love overseas in Africa.
Now, being a first generation Haitian woman I see his point. Culturally, when it comes to values and principles, there’s a significant difference between people raised in continents like Asia or Africa compared to those raised in here in the states.
But as a women born here in the states I can’t help but be insulted by this.
Whether you look high or low, heart ache exists all over the world. It isn’t our mission in life to deem which groups are the better lovers.
Simply when heartache comes YOU and only YOU alone are given the task to learn from your experience and move forward with hope.
You could choose to move along with acceptance, which could be you accepting that maybe you shouldn’t have ignored the red flags. Or, move forward with rejection, which here could mean you rejecting that you were to blame for the relationship going sour. If you’re lucky, you may be able to use both.
Either way, the goal is to move forward with hope.
Hope that you will love again. And hope that you could be a better teacher and student of love.
My friend’s hurt. So much so he’s giving up on American Women.
I can only hope that one day he’ll make a decision and move forward rather than sit still and grow bitter.
I’ve come to learn that it was small pockets of pain and bitterness that created universal truths in my heart that weren’t true.
Pockets. Not moving. Just there.
Now that I’ve consciously made the decision to walk the balance beam with hope to look forward to, I can say I’m much clearer and these pockets are too.
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