The single funniest thing I’ve seen in 2019 (sound on)
This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul

ellievsbear
NASA

Love Begins
Sade Olutola
todays bird
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36
No title available
Peter Solarz

JVL

#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything

★

shark vs the universe

⁂
Misplaced Lens Cap
🪼
wallacepolsom
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@writersbloodink
The single funniest thing I’ve seen in 2019 (sound on)
This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul
Promt #008
Sitting on a throne. Looking down to the room full of people.
Little did she know that every single one of them would do anything to pry her crown from her skull.
“Imagine choosing nothing at all. Imagine something hurting that bad.”
— Andrea Gibson, “The Day You Died Because You Wanted To"
Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics
Medicine
A Study In Physical Injury
Comas
Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs
Broken Bones
Burns
Unconsciousness & Head Trauma
Blood Loss
Stab Wounds
Pain & Shock
All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)
Writing Specific Characters
Portraying a kleptomaniac.
Playing a character with cancer.
How to portray a power driven character.
Playing the manipulative character.
Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.
Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.
Writing a character who lost someone important.
Playing the bullies.
Portraying the drug dealer.
Playing a rebellious character.
How to portray a sociopath.
How to write characters with PTSD.
Playing characters with memory loss.
Playing a pyromaniac.
How to write a mute character.
How to write a character with an OCD.
How to play a stoner.
Playing a character with an eating disorder.
Portraying a character who is anti-social.
Portraying a character who is depressed.
How to portray someone with dyslexia.
How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.
Portraying a character with severe depression.
How to play a serial killer.
Writing insane characters.
Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.
Tips on writing a drug addict.
How to write a character with HPD.
Writing a character with Nymphomania.
Writing a character with schizophrenia.
Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Writing a character with depression.
Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.
Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.
How to play a victim of rape.
How to play a mentally ill/insane character.
Writing a character who self-harms.
Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.
How to play the stalker.
How to portray a character high on cocaine.
Playing a character with ADHD.
How to play a sexual assault victim.
Writing a compulsive gambler.
Playing a character who is faking a disorder.
Playing a prisoner.
Portraying an emotionally detached character.
How to play a character with social anxiety.
Portraying a character who is high.
Portraying characters who have secrets.
Portraying a recovering alcoholic.
Portraying a sex addict.
How to play someone creepy.
Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.
Playing a character under the influence of drugs.
Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.
Illegal Activity
Examining Mob Mentality
How Street Gangs Work
Domestic Abuse
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Corporate Crime
Political Corruption
Drug Trafficking
Human Trafficking
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Illegal Immigration
Contemporary Slavery
Black Market Prices & Profits
AK-47 prices on the black market
Bribes
Computer Hackers and Online Fraud
Contract Killing
Exotic Animals
Fake Diplomas
Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents
Human Smuggling Fees
Human Traffickers Prices
Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices
Prostitution Prices
Cocaine Prices
Ecstasy Pills Prices
Heroin Prices
Marijuana Prices
Meth Prices
Earnings From Illegal Jobs
Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk
Forensics
arson
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Book Review
Cause & Manner of Death
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Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd
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crime lab
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People expect too much from others. It’s like sitting down to dine with skeletons and expecting them to eat.
-Aylum va Sylum-
As her hands were cleaned so was her guilt
And deblossomed the corpse waned in its own wilt
“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.”
— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin (via books-n-quotes)
“Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because it’s something to do to pass the time until she is old enough to experience the things she writes about.”
— Nicole Krauss, The History of Love (via books-n-quotes)
A handy list of poisons for writing reference, provided to you by me, Bella
Poisoning is one of the oldest murder tactics in the books. It was the old equalizer, and while it’s often associated with women, historically men are no less likely to poison you. This is not a guide on how to poison people, you banana bunches, it’s a guide on writing about poisons in fiction so you don’t end up on a watch list while researching them. I’ve taken that hit for you. You’re welcome. These are just a few of the more classic ones.
Hemlock: Hemlock (conium maculatum) is one of the more famous ones, used in ancient times most notably in Socrates’ forced suicide execution. So it goes. The plant has bunches of small, white flowers, and can grow up to ten feet tall. It’s a rather panicky way to die, although it wouldn’t show: hemlock is a paralytic, so the cause of death is most often asphyxiation due to respiratory paralysis, although the mind remains unaffected and aware.
Belladonna: Atropa belladonna is also called deadly nightshade. It has pretty, trumpet-shaped purple flowers and dark, shiny berries that actually look really delicious which is ironic since it’s the most toxic part of the plant. The entire plant is poisonous, mind you, but the berries are the most. One of the most potent poisons in its hemisphere, it was used as a beauty treatment, so the story says, and rubbed into the eyes to make the eyes dilate and the cheeks flush. Hench the name beautiful lady. The death is more lethargic than hemlock, although its symptoms are worse: dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, severely dry mouth and throat, slurred speech, urinary retention, constipation, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsions. It’s toxic to animals, but cattle and rabbits can eat it just fine, for some reason.
Arsenic: Arsenic comes from a metalloid and not a plant, unlike the others here, but it’s easily the most famous and is still used today. Instead of being distilled from a plant, chunks of arsenic are dug up or mined. It was once used as a treatment for STDs, and also for pest control and blacksmithing, which was how many poisoners got access to it. It was popular in the middle ages because it looked like a cholera death, due to acute symptoms including stomach cramps, diarrhea, confusion, convulsions, vomiting, and death. Slow poisoning looked more like a heart attack. The Italians famously claimed that a little arsenic improved the taste of wine.
Strychnine: Strychnine (strick-nine) is made from the seed of strychnos nux vomica and causes poisoning which results in muscular convulsions and eventually death through asphyxia. Convulsions appear after inhalation or injection—very quickly, within minutes—and take somewhat longer to manifest after ingestion, around approximately 15 minutes. With a very high dose, brain death can occur in 15 to 30 minutes. If a lower dose is ingested, other symptoms begin to develop, including seizures, cramping, stiffness, hypervigilance, and agitation. Seizures caused by strychnine poisoning can start as early as 15 minutes after exposure and last 12 – 24 hours. They are often triggered by sights, sounds, or touch and can cause other adverse symptoms, including overheating, kidney failure, metabolic and respiratory acidosis. During seizures, abnormal dilation, protrusion of the eyes, and involuntary eye movements may occur. It is also slightly hallucinogenic and is sometimes used to cut narcotics. It also notably has no antidote. In low doses, some use it as a performance enhancer.
Curare: Chondrodendron tomentosum is lesser known than its famous cousins, but kills in a very similar way to hemlock. It is slow and terrible, as the victim is aware and the heart may beat for many minutes after the rest of the body is paralyzed. If artificial respiration is given until the poison subsides, the victim will survive.
Wolfsbane: Aconitum has several names; Monkshood, aconite, Queen of Poisons, women’s bane, devil’s helmet) and is a pretty, purple plant with gourd-shaped flowers. The root is the most potent for distillation. Marked symptoms may appear almost immediately, usually not later than one hour, and with large doses death is near instantaneous. Death usually occurs within two to six hours in fatal poisoning. The initial signs are gastrointestinal including nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. This is followed by a sensation of burning, tingling, and numbness in the mouth and face, and of burning in the abdomen. In severe poisonings pronounced motor weakness occurs and sensations of tingling and numbness spread to the limbs. The plant should be handled with gloves, as the poison can seep into the skin.
Foxglove: Digitalis is large with trumpet-shaped flowers that can be many colors, but usually a pinkish shade. It may have from the term foxes-glew, which translated to fairy music. Intoxication causes nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, as well as sometimes resulting in xanthopsia (jaundiced or yellow vision) and the appearance of blurred outlines (halos), drooling, abnormal heart rate, cardiac arrhythmias, weakness, collapse, dilated pupils, tremors, seizures, and even death. Slowed heartbeat also occurs. Because a frequent side effect of digitalis is reduction of appetite and the mortality rate is low, some individuals have used the drug as a weight-loss aid. It looks a bit like comfrey, which is an aid for inflammation. Make sure not to confuse the two.
for all intents and purposes
i am NOT real
i do NOT have a legal name
i do NOT have a “face”
Do Not Think About Me
I Am Not A Concept
@sixofcrowsnet heist: fairytales - Ketterdam’s Demjin - Dirtyhands
“Kaz Brekker was gone, and Dirtyhands had come to see the rough work done.”
After 20 painstaking years of research, Eva Ramon Gallegos, a Mexican scientist has finally developed a cure to eliminate 100 percent human papillomavirus and prevent the spread of cervical cancer among women. (x) (x) (x) Y’all they cured HPV
Yet Trump’s America wouldn’t want you to hear about this nor help it go mainstream
punk / pastel starters
enjoy and feel free to make any changes !
punk
“I play by my own rules.”
“Fuck the government!”
“What do you mean? Crying is totally punk.”
“Isn’t that a Fall Out Boy song?”
“I was headbanging in the bathroom and hit my head on the sink.”
pastel
“*makes heart with hands*” / “*makes Korean heart with fingers*”
“I wish shipping didn’t take so long. I’m trying to get a cute outfit before I turn 200.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to be happy. But I try anyway.”
“I wish the whole world was pink/yellow/lavender/etc.”
“I can’t cry right now. It’s so not a part of my aesthetic.”
punk to pastel
“You look…soft.” / “You look like cotton candy.”
“I could never pull off bright colors like that.”
“I know my shirt says ‘fuck you’ but I can’t win a fight, please don’t hurt me.”
“The world isn’t a happy place.”
“Is that glitter?”
pastel to punk
“I made you a flower crown.”
“Just because I dress like this doesn’t mean I can’t take you down.”
“I like your mohawk/tattoos/piercings/etc.”
“Isn’t this music just…screaming?”
“Being miserable doesn’t make you interesting.”
Asking out starters
as requested by anon. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !
Sweet
“I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a long time…will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/etc.?”
“Oh, you need a ride? I’ll take you.”
“Here it is: I like you. Please go out with me?”
“Do you want to go to the beach/park/museum/etc.? You don’t have to bring anything but your smile.”
“I brought you these flowers/chocolates/etc. because you’re beautiful/sweet/etc. Be my date?”
Flirty
“Would you like to see my bed tonight?”
“I have a lot of junk/sausage/etc. you can help me with.”
“Netflix and chill? But it might be a bit hot.”
“Just know that if we go out, I can’t guarantee it will be PG13.”
“There won’t be anyone around tonight…maybe we could spend a little time together.”
Awkward
“Would you…maybe…like to go on a walk with me? If that’s not too lame.”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to mate–DATE I MEANT DATE.”
“The plan was to read you this Shakespeare poem but my hands are shaking too much and I didn’t memorize it.”
“Wait, were you going to ask me out? I was going to ask you out.”
“Is it too much to ask for a kiss?”
Misc.
“[text][2 AM] i’m outside. get over here.”
“Just go out with me this one time, please! I’ll owe you one.”
“I guess I’ll pick you up at eight. Wear something cute but don’t take forever.”
“I brought you these flowers/chocolates/etc. as a bribe so you’ll want to date me.”
“I’m not telling you what we’re doing until you agree to do it.”
car accident starters
Feel free to make any changes.
“Are you okay?”
“Look at my car!”
“Are you blind?” / “You didn’t see me?”
“I already called the police.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”
“Let’s exchange information.”
“I don’t know what to do, I’ve never been in an accident before.”
“Do you have any idea how expensive my car is?”
“You know this is all your fault, right?”
“My car…”
“Oh, my mom/dad/etc. is going to kill me when he/she/they see this.”
“I’ll fix your car, please don’t call the cops.”
“You’re lucky to be alive.”
“Did that car just hit you and run?”
“I can’t afford to fix my car right now…”
“You had a stop sign!”
“Good thing I was wearing my seatbelt.”
“Oh, no–don’t cry.”
“Shit. You’re really old/young/etc. and now I feel bad.”
“Can’t wait for my insurance to go up.”
“I just got it fixed…”
“Why were you going that fast in a school zone?!”
“As if my day wasn’t bad enough…”
Witchy Starters
splattermemes:
as requested by anon. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !
“I need a new familiar.”
“It’s a love potion! What could possibly go wrong?”
“My broom needs to be taken to the mechanic again.”
“If ___ only knew the kinds of things I could do to him/her/them…”
“I’m only a witch, not a miracle worker.”
“Halloween is my aesthetic.”
“Where can a witch find some decent beetle eyes around here?”
“Please don’t tell me that you just sat on my wand.”
“Do you think this is Harry Potter or something?”
“You can’t just say a bunch of words that sound like Latin and expect to make magic.”
“What? No magic here. Just gals being pals.”
“Of course I’m a witch. I just don’t have green skin or face warts.” / “I really wish I looked like a cartoon witch. That would be awesome.”
“Stop putting your potion ingredients in the fridge!”
“Magic is a sophisticated craft. You can’t just say ‘pizza-us apparatus’.”
“I can’t believe that this spell is too advanced for me.”
“The only family I would marry into is the Addams family.”
“I can pass as a goth.”
“Look, I’m sorry I turned you into a toad.” / “If I had it my way, you’d still be eating flies.”
“What are you gonna do? Burn me at the stake?”
“Be nice to my familiar. Our souls are literally bonded.”
“How dare you accuse me of trying to sneak a potion into your food?!”
“We have to ask ourselves: what are magic’s limitations? Like, can it unburn my chicken nuggets?”
“Why would I clean when the dishes can do themselves?”
“Some people just don’t appreciate magic the way that they should.”
“I told you not to summon demons in the house!”
“I may be a witch, but at least I’m not a bitch.”
“Just because I do magic and find girls cute, I ‘dance with the devil’? No way! He owes me money, I’d never dance with him.”