currently crashing out

a girl who writes as a form of escapism

[writerscrashout]

the extension of you barged in as you left for the train, 

i turned away, it’s not real, i blocked the free flow of tears as you left for the train. i will never see you again.

but even thats not true,

i looked in the mirror as i washed my face, and realize, no amount of water will wash you off my face, 

and i am forever thankful i can carry you around with me 

—

i miss you.

[writerscrashout]

yeah life is hard but it has its own little luxuries, like listening to music on the subway, being so immersed in a book you forget where you actually are or taking a break from studying to watch your favourite reality show. i think we tend to forget about these little luxuries and get so caught up with bigger and more tangible things, when really all we need is a little break in between :)

[writerscrashout]

we’ve been tied together, unknowingly fated to cross paths, 

unwavering circumstances 

leading to the unbeknownst  

i trail the path that had once been trodded on, and realize i missed an artifact in plain sight

reviewing the steps i once took, i replay our moments that must have led up to this day,

i reshape my future to fit the past 

i search for you through the maze of memories, 

my hands cup the droplets of our moments in solitary, and i examine you through my microscope, 

to see if you give way to your affections 

——

invisible string

[writerscrashout]

they say “time heals all”

but each day the clocks equip their arms,

to slash my scabs and watch me bleed, forgetting to fetch a healer 

your bed is unmade, and the flowers have wilted, the mirror is shattered and the candle burnt out, the dust collects and they won’t clean up

the clocks and their arms overlook my phantoms, they ignore pleas for a healer as they neglect to patch me up. 

they say your state is eternal,

while mine is just mortal 

i grasp at your lessons and beg the clocks to stop their path,

the elixir of youth is not enough 

to stop the clocks from using their arms to thieve your gifted wisdom, 

so they can recycle it and teach the next a lesson

they leave me cut and open, coming back for more, they’ll cut me deep for evermore 

—

grief

[writerscrashout]

i love entering a warm room after being out in the cold,

the cold nips at my face as it surrounds me, sending icy, little needles throughout and prickles my eyes, gnawing at them, wishing to see what i see,

my sanctuary, welcomes me with open arms,

covering me in a warm blanket and a hand to hold, surrounding me in the warmth that soothes my pain, it returns what has been lost,

the warmth doesn't wait to melt into me and witnesses what i have seen, it jumps in with me, blazing brightly as it stands unflinching against the ice

[writerscrashout]

i am so different from who i imagined i would be at this age. i am still that timid and lonely girl and i don't think she'll ever leave me

[writerscrashout]

i love to read because when i open a book, the pages lure me in with their sweet words, like a siren, i follow starry eyed; dazed by my imagination

and suddenly my room isn't my room anymore, suddenly i'm living a different life, enraptured by what's in front of me i follow blindly,

awaiting the next chapter in my story

-

get me out of my reading slump pls

[writerscrashout]

as the seasons change, i change with them, shedding my old skin as the leaves fall on the ground, awaiting my liberation; my renewal,

come spring, and the sky witnesses my regrowth, i am fresh; i am renewed, incandescent in the bleak, i become a blossom in the grey,

i am no longer naked, i clear the clouds from the sky, a first sign of change,

my roots, no longer melt in the heat, no longer freeze in the snow,

grow to become tall; unwavering in strength

grow to become strong; fervent in feeling

grow to dance with the wind; let your hair blow through it,

and then forget, so you can change anew.

-

must be the season of change

[writerscrashout]

pov: i tell you my secrets and struggles and you tell me everything will be okay and give me a big hug and some candy

[catchymemes]

[writerscrashout]

#real

[writerscrashout]

shared breaths and shared glances passed between us,

our own secrets, enclosing me in a world of bliss where only you are welcomed,

to witness the intimacy we share,

i can feel it; i can taste it,

sweet on my lips and warm on my skin

so delicate; so peaceful,

so peaceful to the point where it cannot be muffled

and i must embrace the roar in my heart, willingly, with open arms

[writerscrashout]

once you know kindness, and what it means to nurture yourself,

once your mistakes don't feel so grave and destructive

thats when you know,

when you know that you've built a shield

an indestructible shield,

thats when you know,

you can walk through any fire, any storm

left unscathed.

[writerscrashout]

isn't it funny how our minds work? the memories i never made bring so much solace in the night.

[writerscrashout]

let go let go let go. But i hold on.

i was never taught to be free

[writerscrashout]

you see the flaws and mistakes, but i see a talent so great, i must admire it, i must remember it

[writerscrashout]

if i give you a part of myself, will you runaway with it? will you spread me thin to all those you encounter? Will you reveal the deepest secrets summoned from my subconscious? The ones i gave you with a heavy heart and shaking hands?

[writerscrashout]

I love the paranoia and anxiety my father gave me, It makes me who I am!