Mace, storms into the jedi council room: The supreme chancellor's a sith lord! Yoda: Know this how do you, master Windu? Mace pulls out his commlink: Count Dooku added me to their private group chat.
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Mace, storms into the jedi council room: The supreme chancellor's a sith lord! Yoda: Know this how do you, master Windu? Mace pulls out his commlink: Count Dooku added me to their private group chat.
Rex: Its march 15th. You know what that means, Fox... Fox, already sharpening his knife: Of course. Today is the day we assassinate the emperor. Rex: Yeah, the day Caesar was...wait, did you say assassinate the emperor? Fox? Get back here! Fox, sprinting toward the imperial palace: Call me Brutus!
Mace, storms into the jedi council room: The supreme chancellor's a sith lord! Yoda: Know this how do you, master Windu? Mace pulls out his commlink: Count Dooku added me to their private group chat.
The Jedi temple, council chamber. Mace: Take a seat, young Skywalker. Anakin: No, I can't master... Anakin: The chancellors raised the tariffs on our chairs, we can't afford to buy anymore. Obi-wan: We'll be forced to purchase them from Coruscant from now on... Yoda, reading from his commlink: A message I have received, rescinded the tariffs, he has. A fool, he is.
35 ABY / Niamos beach. *Fox relaxing on the beach.* *commlink rings.* Fox, frowning: Hello, who is this?
Crackling static: ...
Fox: Cody? Is that you?
Palpatine: He has risen baby girl! Fox: FUCK!
The imperial royal ball.
Palpatine, shaking hands with guests: May the fourth be with you. Ah senator may the fourth be with you. Governor, may the fourth be with you as well.
Palpatine: Good evening, Command-
Fox: May you be thrown face first into a reactor shaft.
Palpatine: What?
Fox, laughing maniacally as he skips away: Revenge of the fifth is mine!
Amedda: Was that the clone that does our taxes?
Palpatine: Not anymore. The IRS is auditing me, turns out he's a serial tax evader.
Fox, drinking his morning caf: Ugh, somethings wrong, this tastes like decaf.
Cody: That's because it is!
Fox, frowning: What?
Cody, grinning from ear to ear: April fools!
Fox, unholsters his blaster: My vengeance will be more fiery than a thousand suns. You will not escape my undying wrath.
Cody, slowly scooting away from him: Oh, um, I think General Kenobi's calling my name. I'm just gonna see what he wants, bye!
Rex: Its march 15th. You know what that means, Fox... Fox, already sharpening his knife: Of course. Today is the day we assassinate the emperor. Rex: Yeah, the day Caesar was...wait, did you say assassinate the emperor? Fox? Get back here! Fox, sprinting toward the imperial palace: Call me Brutus!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63294646
My newest fic!
This story revolves around my OC
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
the sequel to my first Kalluzeb story!
Rex: Fox, what's wrong? Fox: The stress of imperial bureaucracy, and the emperors blatant disregard of my special mug, has caused me to fall into a depression... Cody: Depression? isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? Fox: Cody, you ignorant slut! Rex in the background: We'll buy you a new mug, Fox!
Palpatine: Cackles maniacally from his throne room.
Captain Rex: I don't think Fox is doing too well, Cody.
Commander Cody: What makes you say that?
*Rex hands Cody his datapad.*
*Email from commander Fox*
'Good morning Rex. I have lost control of my life.
Please send assistance, Commander Fox.'
Cody, nodding: The emperor probably used his special mug again.
Commander Fox writing an email to Palpatine: 'Dear Emperor palpatine, as I have stated before and will persist in reiterating, I have already apologised for attaching a sign to your back that said 'EAT ME!' while releasing the Zillo beast into the royal palace.
It was purely my own fault, and I take full responsibility...
I honestly didn't think you could read.'
Yours insincerely, Commander Fox.
Palpatine after reading said email: Get Rampart on the phone, I have an idea.
ImperialFedEx: Commander, may I ask why you want this life-sized chew toy in the shape of the emperor, made of...mystery meat.
Commander Fox: I'm training my puppy.
Zillo beast roars in the distance.
Commander Fox: ... That's my puppy.
Stormtrooper: And what's your New years resolutions, sir?
Commander Fox: I'm glad you asked trooper, first on my list will be to find who broke my mug and bring them to swift justice, second will be to cover up the tax evasion i committed last year, and third, I guess would be to assassinate the emperor.
Stormtrooper: Uh, what was that last thing, sir? about the emperor...
Commander Fox, cocking his blaster: Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of me filing my taxes.
Emperor Palpatine: Commander, would you still loyally serve me if I was a worm?
Commander Fox: ...That would make it easier to step on you.
Empeor Palpatine: What?
Commander Fox: What?