Justine. She/her. French. Mostly Marvel, a few other fandoms and original fictions. Don't forget that feedback is always appreciated and important. Stories contemning NSFW are gonna be tagged as such. None of the gifs I use are mine. This blog is a +18 blog Minors DNI
Authorâs note : This story has been inspired to me by the wedding of friends. My thought was, what would happen if at the last moment, the bride to be says no. A huge inspiration for that story also comes from the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Iâm fulfilling a few challenges with that story :  @until-theend-oftheline : âHow did I even become this person ?â (I know your challenge is over for a little time but as I told you, I tag you in as I started to write that story a while ago), @staticscreenwriting : âOh heâs very handsome, isnât he ?â, @writing4inspiration : âAm I ever going to see you again ?â, @bxcksdoll : âIâve got you. Breathe, okay ? Iâve got you.â, @my-emotional-self : âHave you ever danced in the rain ?â, @icantlivewithyou: âDance with me.â Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title : Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
Written for @buckybarnesbingoâ âs Fluffathon, with the prompt Roses.
Bucky stops in front of the white building. Once more he checks the little paper in his jeans pocket. He has it for month, that little sheet of paper, fold in two on his roomâs desk, he has it since Tony found where Rebecca lives.
Rebecca, his little sister, the youngest of the family. Bucky pushed away that moment for so long, visiting his sister, the last living member of his family.
When he started to feel better, he asked the genius and billionaire to look for his family. In less than two days, Tony found everything about the Barnes family and the last member. In barely few minutes, Bucky learned everything about his family, their lives after he âdiedâ and their extended family.
Rebecca lived at the Forget Me Not Retirement Home in Brooklyn. She got married to a man named Ronald Proctor, they never had children, and Rebecca chose to go to a retirement house when she realized she couldnât take care of herself anymore.
Bucky sighs, his sister life has been full. She knew happiness and sadness. He looks on his right, to the bouquet of pink roses he bought for her. Her favorite flowers. He remembered when he was at the flower shop. He offered her a bunch like this one for her tenth birthday in 1941 along with tickets to see the brand-new Disney movie, Dumbo. He remembers the huge smile on her tiny face, she was so happy. He worked so long and so hard to get the money to take her. She was so young when he enlisted for war and was declared dead. One of the first memories that came back to him was how close he was to the youngest of his sisters who looks like at him so much, same stormy bleu eyes, same chestnuts hair. How old was she now ? Something like 90 years old.
After a few minutes, he finally decides to go outside of his car. The rain is pouring and by the time he arrives to the front desk, heâs soaked. Behind the desk, thereâs a woman with a nametag saying âDaisyâ.
âHelloâ, he says. âIâm here to see Rebecca Proctor please.â
âYou are mister Barnes, arenât you ?â, Daisy asks. Bucky just nods. âSo, Iâm the one you had on the telephone. I told your sister you were going to visit. She was very happy. But as I told you on the phone, I must warn you that she isnât always lucid. She remembers a lot of things about you from before the war.â Bucky nods again. âAs you look like the picture she has on her nightstand she should recognize you and maybe not realize that more than eighty years have passed. Follow me now pleaseâ, she concludes, making Bucky following her in many corridors of the retirement home.
Walking behind her, Bucky can observe a lot of old persons, thinking that if he havenât gone to war nor being tortured by HYDRA for more than seventy years, he would have been in some house like this, Steve alongside him, probably waiting for his children or grandchildren to come and see him. Bucky sweeps that thought of his head. None of this happened, and now something illogical is happening, he looks younger than his little sister and heâs the one visiting her in an old people house.
Daisy stops in front of a door and knocks on it.
âRebecca, can I come in ? Itâs Daisy, I have a visitor for youâ, she adds when she opens the door.
Daisy moves aside to let Bucky in. His gaze embrace the whole room. Rebecca is watching outside, her back to the door, long grey hair falling on her shoulders covered by a black cardigan. Daisy quietly goes outside of the room while Bucky walks towards his sister.
âHi Beccaâ, he gently says.
Rebecca turns her head and a huge smile appears on her face. âJames youâre here.â
âYesâ, he answers, crouching in front of her. âIâm sorry it took me so long to come and see you. I brought you flowersâ, he adds, showing her the bouquet in his hands. âAnd I have a surprise for youâ, he takes out of a small bag a DVD.
âDumbo !â, Rebecca shouts, behaving like the ten years old she was when Bucky told her she was going to see the movie when for her birthday.
âA brand-new versionâ, Bucky tells her. âYou will love it, Iâm sure. Letâs watch itâ, he says, helping Rebecca on her feet towards her bed.
She sits on it, excited like a small child, holding on a tiny Dumbo plush. Bucky remembers that Steve offered it to Rebecca for her tenth birthday, like Bucky for the movie tickets, Steve worked a lot to get Becca that precious present, without knowing that she would cherish this little elephant plush her whole life. Bucky comes back by the bed after putting the DVD in. He sits next to her and after a few minutes in the movie, Rebeccaâs head falls on his shoulder, her hand searching for his, just like when she was a child. And it was like they were back in 1941, no war, no Winter Soldier, no old lady, no retirement home, just a brother and his little sister, a bunch of roses and a flying elephant.
Summary :Â When his daughter has a nightmare, Sam doesnât hesitate to sing her the lullaby her mommy used to sing to her.
Pairing : Sam Wilson x OC daughter
Warnings : Nightmare, mention of an accident and death
Word Count :Â 957
Square Filled : @star-spangled-bingo : Nightmare
Authorâs note :Â My first Sam story !!! Letâs hope that itâll be the beginning of many others ! And maybe some other stories with Saskia :)Â Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
Summary :Â Y/N McCoy, daughter of Jack McCoy works as ADA Carisiâs PA. Before that, Y/N was sort of the Cinderella of the DAâs office working in the dust of the archives. When the DAâs Christmas ball is themed as a Masquerade, maybe itâs time for Cinderella to meet her prince charming, with a little help of her fairy best friend, Katriona Tamin.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader
Warnings : Language, consomption of alcohol, Cinderella AU, some flashbacks, Vanessa Hadid is a bitch (but as she always is it really a warning ?).
Word Count : 14 682
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushâs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the free square, and for @sweetcannolicarisi âs Disney bingo. I know those two bingos are over now but I really wanted to post it between Christmas & New Year, but life stroked hard and I couldnât write. Ball dress is inspired by the one from the movie A Cinderella Christmas. Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title :Â Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
Summary :Â Y/N McCoy, daughter of Jack McCoy works as ADA Carisiâs PA. Before that, Y/N was sort of the Cinderella of the DAâs office working in the dust of the archives. When the DAâs Christmas ball is themed as a Masquerade, maybe itâs time for Cinderella to meet her prince charming, with a little help of her fairy best friend, Katriona Tamin.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader
Warnings : Language, consomption of alcohol, Cinderella AU, some flashbacks, Vanessa Hadid is a bitch (but as she always is it really a warning ?).
Word Count : 14 682
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushâs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the free square, and for @sweetcannolicarisi âs Disney bingo. I know those two bingos are over now but I really wanted to post it between Christmas & New Year, but life stroked hard and I couldnât write. Ball dress is inspired by the one from the movie A Cinderella Christmas. Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title :Â Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
Masterlist
Buy me a â
âAssistant District Attorney Carisiâs office, Y/N speaking, what can I do for you ?â, I say, repeating this sentence on a loop all day long.
Â
Donât get me wrong, I love my job, I just hate doing it in a fucking hallway, next to my new boss small and windowless new office. Well at least now he has an office, weâre not forced to squat in empty rooms all around the building.
Â
âOh, hello Captain Benson. How can I help you ?â
âHello Y/N, can you please ask Carisi to sign me a warrant for a perquisition please ? I emailed you the application. Kat will pick it in less than an hour. Can you do that for me ?â
âSure, Olivia, consider it doneâ, I answer.
âThanks Y/N have a nice dayâ, she says.
âHave a nice day too Oliviaâ, I reply, hanging up the phone.
Â
I take a look at the clock facing my desk, 10:30 am. I open Captain Bensonâs mail and print the papers she joined in. I get up to the printer, passing next to the break room. Itâs time for ADA Carisiâs coffee. I take the papers from the printer and enter the break room. I put down the papers on the table and pour a warm and steamy coffee into ADA Carisiâs usual mug and heat some water for my tea. I put two sugars in his coffee and pour the hot water into my mug with sugar. The papers under my armpit and the two mugs in both my hands I walk back to my desk, where I put down my own mug, and then walk towards his office. I lightly knock on the door before his voice tells me to come in.
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âGood morning counsellorâ, I say, stepping in the windowless office.
âGood morning, Y/Nâ, he looks up. âAnd I already told you to call me Sonny. We work together for a year now, donât you think itâs time to call me by my name, huh ?â, he smiles at me, with that charming smile that makes me melt.
âI canât promise anythingâ, I shrug, returning his smile. âFirst of all, hereâs your coffeeâ, I say, putting down the cup in front of him.
âJust how I like itâ, he hums, taking a sip of it.
âSecond, I had a phone call from Captain Benson, she asked if you could sign that warrantâ, I add, handing him the papers, his thumb brushing mine when he takes it. âKat will take it in something like thirty minutes to an hour.â
âIâll get this ready and let you know when itâs done.â
âThanks counsellorâ, I say going back to the door. âBy the wayâ, I add, turning back to him, âremember that I donât work this afternoon, itâs myâŠâ
âMonthly lunch date with you dadâ, he cuts me. âI know that Miss McCoy, you and I work together for a year, every third Thursday of the month, you have lunch and spend the afternoon with your dad and I always managed to look after myself on those days. So as usual, go eat with your dad and have fun with him. Maybe youâll start your Christmas errands. Donât worry for me Y/N, I can handle myself for an afternoon, he smiles at me again. So have a nice lunch and afternoon with your dad Y/N.â
âHave a nice afternoon, counseâŠâ, I can see his finger raising, âDominickâ, I finish before going out, a small smile playing on my lips, almost bumping in Serena, the mail girl.
âY/Nâ, she nods at me coldly.
âSerenaâ, I answer, mirroring her tone.
âHello Dominickâ, I can hear her say with that honeyed voice she uses every time she talks to him, making me sick.
Â
When I go back to my desk, a pile of mail is waiting for me, next to it, two letters. The first one says, âMr. John McCoyâ and the second one âMiss Y/N McCoyâ. Even retired, my father still receives his invitation for the annual police and DAâs office ball. This year itâs a week before Christmas. As usual, Iâm more like his plus one than a real guest, it seems that the office feels obligated to invite me to those balls because my father is the great Jack McCoy. A legend for some. I donât know if counselor Carisi made the connection between my name and the fact that my father is probably one of the most famous ADA this city ever had, when Iâm just a personal assistant.
Â
Sometimes, Iâm wondering if they accepted me here because of him, like he asked them for a favor. I started to work here eight years ago. Not as a PA, it would have been too good to be true. There was no place for me. I was put in the archives, doing research for the attorneys, the ADAs, the DAs, the police, everyone who needed it. For a little time, I was ADA Barbaâs PA, his was sick and I did the job for two or three months, time she came back. Working with Barba was a learning experience. Of course, Iâve already seen my dad work as an ADA, because I spent a lot of time in his office when I was little after my mom left him, and me in the process, but working with Barba was different, he had different methods, a different way of working. Barba was a great guy, seemed righteous, he was nice to me, even if I canât say that we were friends or close, I was utterly shocked when I heard about that baby story and that he resigned. I was back in my archive hole when I learned about it. I havenât met counsellor Carisi, detective back then, while I helped Barba, to be honest, I worked at the other side of the hall, in a proper office, I just caught a glimpse of his tall blond frame from afar. My first impression from my viewing point, he made me think about the character of a book from my childhood, Daddy-Long-Legs. He was tall and lanky, just like the mystery man from the book. I never really saw his face nor his beautiful blue eyes before Vanessa Hadid assigned me to be his PA.
After Barba left, a new ADA came to town, Peter Stone. My father knew his, but Peter and I never met before. He was cute and very nice, he brought me teas and pastries almost every day, and from time to time, we had lunch together. One night, after a few drinks, Peter and I had sex. Nothing committed, just a one-night stand, with no promises, between two consenting adults. The next morning wasnât even awkward, we both had our fun and we stayed friend, occasionally having lunch or a drink. His sisterâs death totally crushed him, and he had a lot of problems. Alcohol, sex, he was on a downward spiral. He left after having been set up by a so-called friend.
Then, Sonny came along. On his first day, Ms. Hadid called me from her office and said I had to come upstairs. I complied, knowing that as she didnât like me, I should obey. I straighten my clothes and put my hair in order in one of the bathrooms before knocking on her office door. She told me to come in and he was there. He turned around and smiled down at me. Blond hair, bright blue eyes, a charming smile, white teeth, tailored three-pieces blue suit, I was breathless, wondering why I never saw him closer before. I was totally swooned by the man in front of me. I might have stared too long because Ms. Hadid cleared her throat.
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âGood morning Y/N let me introduce to you the new assistant district attorney, Dominick Carisi Jr. Counsellor Carisi, this is Y/N McCoyâ, she introduced us both.
âNice to meet you Ms. McCoyâ, he said, smiling bigger and extending his hand.
âNice to meet you too, counsellor Carisiâ, I replied, letting him take my hand in his bigger one. âWhat can I do for you Ms. Hadid ?â, I finally asked, when he let go of my hand.
âNothing, I just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion.â
âMy promotion maâam ?â, I asked, completely shocked.
âYes, your promotion. You are, from now, ADA Carisiâs personal assistant. Congratulations.â
Â
I didnât know what to say. I just opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish out of its bowl. Was it a cruel joke ? After all this time she was finally giving me the position I applied for the first time I passed the Bureauâs door ? For real ?
Â
âI⊠I⊠Thank⊠Thank youâ, I stuttered. âIâm glad that you trust me enough to assist our new ADA.â
âIâm pretty sure that you will make a very good teamâ, she responded, smiling. âLetâs find you both an officeâ, she added.
Â
An office, we didnât get it before a few weeks ago. For a year, ADA Carisi and I moved from rooms to rooms, to rooms. It was the worst way to do our jobs. Forced to be in the same room for two very different works. Not that I didnât like to be in the same room, who would complain after all, Dominick was, and still is, a charming and handsome man, always ready to please people around him and very dedicated to his job. Each morning, he brought me an Italian pastry, still does though, and I grew really fond of him. We exchanged a few things during the few breaks he took or during lunch break, that I had, and still have, to remind him. He explained his path to me, why he wanted to be a lawyer, after having been a cop. I told him about my dad being an attorney too, retired now, but not that he was one of the most important ADA this city had. I still think that itâs strange that he still havenât made the connection. He asked me why I was a PA and I just answered that it was because I liked that job, and that I probably wasnât made to be an attorney.
Hadid was right, Sonny and I made a great team. I canât help but feel like if Hadid paired us, itâs because she donât like us. ADA Carisi because he was a cop and still has a strong bond with SVU and me because of who my father is. She didnât expect for us to be such a good team. After a year working together, we have a whole routine. I remind him when itâs time to eat or to have a break, so sometimes, we go together for fresh air, taking a coffee down the street when heâs not too busy. It has been strange a few weeks ago when Hadid finally told us that Sonny would have an office. I thought that finally we would have a proper room to work. When we saw his office, the first question he asked wasnât to question about the inexistant windows of the room, but where I would work, because there were not enough room for two desks. Hadid simply shrugged and said that they would put a desk for me in the hallway, by the door. I know he was about to protest and to say that if I couldnât have a proper office or couldnât be in the same room, he wouldnât accept that office. But I opened my mouth before he opened his and said it was perfect and that I was willing to wait a little for a proper office. Thatâs how I ended up here.
Â
âHey ! Earth to Y/N, are you here ?â
Â
I snap back to reality feeling a hand shaking my shoulder.
Â
âJesus Christ Katâ, I almost shout. âYou scared the shit out of me.â
âWell, I told you I was here but, it seems that you didnât hear me. Too lost in your thoughts, looking down at those envelopes. DA ballâ, she adds looking over my shoulder.
âYep.â
âGoing with your dad ?â
âAs usual.â
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My brown-haired friend sits down on the chair facing my desk.
Â
âCoffee ?â, I ask her, and at the same time, Serena exits from ADA Carisiâs office, giggling.
âHave a good day Dominickâ, she continues to giggle closing the door from Sonnyâs office, and I can feel anger and jealousy rise in me, my free fist, and my jaw clenching. âOh, and have a good day too McCoyâ, she says, walking in front of me, pushing her little cart.
Â
I really canât stand that girl. She does everything to make me lose my mind.
Â
âJust go ahead and punch her freaking face, I would gladly enjoy seeing thatâ, Kat states. âAnd to be honest, I donât think that sheâs Carisiâs typeâ, she adds.
âWhat ?â, I question, turning to her.
âYou perfectly know what Iâm talking about Y/N.â
âNoâ, I bite back.
âOh yes, you know. You have a think for our ADA friend in here and I know it. And Iâm not the only one who saw it.â
âDonât be ridiculous Katâ, I sigh. âI have to tell him to not forget to eat when Iâm gone.â
âY/N , youâre mothering him, just like you do with your fatherâ, Kat says.
âI donâtâ, I respond. âIâm just reminding him that he has to eat and to take breaks sometimes. Heâs so into his work that he barely think to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. Heâs really dedicated to what heâs doing.â
âY/Nâ, Kat sighs, âCarisi is a big boy, heâs supposed to know when to stop.â
âOh, he doesnât believe me.â
âAnd youâre not his mom. But you could be his girlfriend. Getting lay would do you good. To both of you. And I saw how he looks at you. With enamored eyes.â
âHe doesnât look at me that way Kat, Iâm just his assistant.â
âWell, if you donât want to see, Iâll not insist. Letâs talk about that ball. Iâm going too and my dear friend, this year, Iâll make a princess out of the perfect worker that you are !â
Â
I can see the look on her face, and I really donât like it. Kat and I met last year when she incorporate SVU team, we quickly became best friends.
Â
âIâll make your inner Cinderella pop out !â
âYouâre scaring me.â
âAnd I found the perfect dress for you, and mask.â
âMask ?â, I ask.
âMasquerade ball, baby. You would know it if you had opened those letters instead of daydreaming.â
âI donât daydream Kat.â
âYes, you do. And your reverie is about the tall, blond and handsome Italian behind that door.â
âArenât you here to get a warrant back for Captain Benson ?â, I ask, hoping that she will change of subject.
âI am, but I have timeâ, she replies. âI know you have your lunch date with your dad today, but I offer you something. Tomorrow night, girlâs night and then on Saturday, dress shopping. I found the perfect dress for you !â
âYou looked for a dress for me ? Kat ! Iâm a big girl, I can dress myself.â
âYeah, with a sad black dress when you can look like a princess. Please, letâs have girlâs night tomorrow and let me show you the dress on Saturday. Youâll love it, Iâm sure of it. That might be the perfect way to attract some ADA.â
âGood morning ladiesâ, my entire body stiffens when I hear Hadidâs voice and Kat jolts out of her seat.
âMs. Hadidâ, I say, nodding.
âMiss McCoy, Detective Tamin youâre here. To what do we owe the pleasure ?â, she asks Kat.
âIâm here for a warrant Ms. Hadid, and as Iâm waiting for it, Iâm having a conversation with my friend.â
âThis is very nice from you detective, but Miss McCoy has some work to do and we donât pay her to have little chats with her friends. Donât make me regret to have promote you or Iâll have to send you back in your little hole.â
âI was about to ask ADA Carisi if he signed the warrantâ, I say, before she can add anything.
âFineâ, Hadid states, âand then I hope that youâll go back to workâ, and she leaves.
âReally, you shouldnât let her talk to you that wayâ, Kat tells me.
âThatâs okay, Iâm used to it nowâ, I sigh.
âYou shouldnât get used to it Y/N. Youâre way better than that woman.â
Â
At the same time, ADA Carisiâs door opens.
Â
âY/N, I have the warrant forâŠâ, his voice very soft. âKatâ, he finishes his sentence seeing the dark-haired detective next to my desk. âMorning Kat.â
âCarisiâ, she nods, a little smile playing on her lips because of the tone of Sonnyâs voice when he thought I was alone.
âThis is for youâ, he says, handing her the piece of paper I printed earlier.
âThank you. Iâll leave you two and I will go back to the precinct. Have a nice day Carisi. Y/N, see you tomorrow.â
âSee you tomorrowâ, I reply, while Dominick just nods to her.
Â
And she leaves, the paper in her hand.
Â
âI heard that Hadid was hereâ, he turns to me.
âYeah, she was, reminding me that Iâm not paid to âhave little chats with my friendsâ and not to make her âregret to have promote meâ, because she could send me âback in my little holeââ, I reply.
âDonât let her impress youâ, he says, putting his hand on my shoulder. âYouâre a better person than she will ever be.â
Â
I can feel my cheeks getting warmer and Iâm probably blushing. That man really knows how to talk to me.
Â
âLetâs go back to workâ, he resumes. âIâll need you and your fast tipper skills to help me for the Mendelsonâs case for my plea.â
âGive me time to make more tea and coffee and Iâm all yoursâ, I say, seeing him turning bright red, and I assume that I must look the same. âI didnât mean. I wanted to say.â
âI know, I understoodâ, he says, before going back into his office.
Â
Jeez dammit Y/N, you really had toâŠ, I think, facepalming myself. A few minutes later, I enter his office with a fresh pot of hot coffee, sugar, and biscuits. I put down the tray on the side table and settle in front of the laptop next to it. Dominick gets up from his chair, his mug in one hand, a pile of papers with his handwriting in the other. He puts the sheets on the table before pouring himself some coffee and then a tea bag and hot water in my own mug, and settles it next to me, before putting some sugar in it.
Â
âThanksâ, I smile up to him.
Â
He just smiles back and starts to read his papers. We spend the next hour and a half to type, modify, revise the entire speech.
Â
âI think weâre doneâ, he finally says, stretching in his chair.
Â
I check one last time the document and hit the print button. From the inside of the office, we can hear the noise of the printer. We settle in a comfortable silence while the speech goes out of the printer.
Â
âSoâ, he finally breaks the silence, âI supposed you received the invitation for the Christmas ball.â
âI did. I must admit that masquerade ball is an original idea.â
âIndeed. Iâll have to find a suit and a plus one, maybe.â
Â
My heart aches when he talks about getting a plus one. When I said I grew fond of him, it was in fact a little more. Dominick âSonnyâ Carisi Jr. rocks my world for a year now and I love every part of him, from his ridiculously bright blue eyes to his passion for this job. I love the entire being he is.
Â
âWhat about you ?â, he asks, making me snap back to reality.
âIâll probably go with my father, as usual, if I goâ, I answer. âSpeaking of my father, I should go and refresh a little before he arrivesâ, I add checking the hour, getting up from my chair. âIâll bring the sheets when I come back.â
Â
And with that, I exist the office, walking to the bathroom. There I just look at myself in the mirror, trying not to cry because Iâm pinning and crushing on my boss.
Â
Sonnyâs POV
Â
I watch Y/N leaving my office. Why did I mention that I needed to find a plus one when I donât want a plus one ? I donât want to go to that ball with anyone else but her. But I never dared to ask her out. I saw the look on her face when I mention bringing someone with me, that she looked away, as if she was embarrassed by something. She rushed out so fast that I didnât even had time to tell her that Iâm going alone, or probably will bring my niece or one of my sisters. Of course, Iâll not bring a real date to office party, not when the girl that makes my heart sing is the one sitting on front of a desk outside of my office, accepting to work in a hallway just to still be my assistant.
I remember the first time I met Y/N, she had some dust at the bottom of her black pants and on her shoes. A little stain that she probably didnât notice on her cheek. I knew she had worked for Barba for a few times, while his assistant was absent, but we never stumbled on each other. I looked at her, her Y/E/C hidden behind a pair of glassed, probably easier for her to see in the archives, her Y/H/C tied. When Ms. Hadid introduced each other, I heard some disdain in her voice, like she was despising her, still does though, and I didnât and still donât know why. It couldnât be because Y/N was new here, like I was at the moment, nor because she has links with SVU. I donât get how she can hate someone whoâs so dedicated to her job like Y/N is, she loves what sheâs doing, and we make a good team. She takes care of me, more than she should to be honest, reminds me to eat, drink, have some breaks. I remember once, she changed because she had a date, and I couldnât help to feel jealous of the man she was seeing that night. She was so beautiful in that dress. Itâs like every third Thursdays of the month. She has a monthly lunch and afternoon date with her father. On those days, she looks even more glowing. I must admit that Iâm a little envious of her dad, you can see that she loves him very much and he has an important place in her life.
I rise my head from the paper in my hand and spot a man standing in front of Y/Nâs office. Heâs tall with grey hair and hazel eyes is rummaging through Y/Nâs papers on her desk.
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âExcuse me sir, can I help you ?â, I ask, exiting my office, after putting down the sheet in my hand.
âIâm looking for my daughterâ, he answers. âHave you seen her ? Y/N McCoy, not very tall, Y/E/C, Y/H/C hair.â
âYeah, Y/N, sheâs my assistant. Sheâs in the bathroom right now. Excuse me sir, but these are confidential, and you donât have the right to look at itâ, I add, seeing him looking at the papers.
âDonât worry son, I was on the job. Jack McCoyâ, he says, extending his hand to me, introducing himself.
âExcuse me, Jack McCoy, like THE Jack McCoyâ, I ask, grabbing his hand to shake it. âY/N never told me that you were her father. Wow, Iâm so impressed.â
âSeems soâ, he answers. âAnd I bet you are Dominick Carisi Jr., former cop turned ADA. My daughter told me a lot about you. I donât know if she told you that her grandfather was a cop, she admired him and she admires you. She says youâre an amazing ADA and that you are passionate by the job. She canât stop gushing about you and how happy she is to work with such a dedicated person.â
âI can assure you Mr. McCoy that I am as equally happy to work with your daughter. Sheâs an amazing assistant, she takes care of me when I forget about my basic needs.â
âShe did the same with me, since sheâs a kid sheâs taking care about everyone around her. She knows this office like the back of her hand you know, she spent a lot of time here when she was a child. Sometimes I worked very late and she fell asleep on the couch of my office. She was doing her homework in a corner of the office, lying on the carpet, reading a book while listening to music when I was auditioning people. No one was ever surprised to see her around.â
âI can imagine thatâ, I reply, picturing a little Y/N, wandering around the corridors of the DAâs building, or working for school, or even reading a book on an office couch, headphones on her hears while her father was working.
âDadâ, I can hear behind me, turn around to see that Y/N is back from the bathroom. âWhat are you already doing here ?â
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Y/Nâs POV
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I enter one of the cabins to pee before going back. When I exit it, I wash my hands and look at myself again checking my make-up and putting some lipstick again, check my hair. When I judge myself decent again, I go out. I walk back from the bathroom, hearing some laughs and voices coming from counsellor Carisiâs office.
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âDadâ, I say, spotting my father behind Dominickâs tall frame. âWhat are you already doing here ?â
âY/N, sweetheartâ, my father passes by counsellor Carisi to hug me. âI was a little early and I thought I would surprise you. That charming young man here said that you were in the bathroom, so we started to chat a little. I get why you like to work with that young man my darling, heâs really passionate about his jobâ, he adds, pointing the blond ADA with his thumb.
âIf you donât need me anymore Dominick, Iâll go.â
âDominick ?â, my dad asks, raising his eyebrow.
âHe told me not to call him counsellor, just like you did with your assistants.â
âActually, I told her to call me Sonny, but she doesnâtâ, he says, scratching the back of his head.
âItâs too familiar, youâre my boss after all.â
âDad, if youâre ready we should go. Of course, if you donât need me anymoreâ, I turn to counsellor Carisi.
âThatâs good for me, you can go.â
âThanksâ, I reply, going behind my desk to grab my purse and to clean my desk. âDonât forget to eat, to drink, and to take some break. I ordered you some food for your lunch, I prepared the few files you have to check. Donât leave too late tonight, you have dinner at your parentsâ, I conclude, looking at Dominick while I list the things I planned for his afternoon. âYour tie, itâs not straightâ, I say, looking at his neck, my hands reaching for the knot, his eyes meeting mine when I start to redo the knot, his face a few centimeters from mine, those pink lips Iâd love to kiss for a year. âHere, all doneâ, I say, smoothing his suit jacket.
âThanksâ, he whispers.
âYouâre welcomeâ, I respond, on the same tone.
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Someone clears his throat next to us and I suddenly remember that my father is around. I step back from counsellor Carisi and grab the two letters on my desk.
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âWe should go. Have a nice afternoon Dominick.â
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On that, I grab my coat and scarf and I head to the elevators.
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âNice to meet you Carisi, letâs meet again sometimesâ, I can hear my father say, probably extending his hand to the counsellor to shake it.
âPleasure is all mine counsellor McCoy, and I would love toâ, my boss replies.
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I press the button of the elevator, and when the door opens, I have the bad surprise to see Vanessa Hadid in the cabin.
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âMiss McCoy, I see itâs time for your daddy-daughter lunch dateâ, she says, stepping out of the elevator, her eyes falling on my father whoâs walking towards the elevators. âCounsellor McCoy, what a pleasure to finally meet you. Iâm Vanessa Hadidâ, she deceitfully adds, a fake smile on her face, extending her hand. âLet me say that I really admire your work and all you did for the city. I think some people should take your successes as examplesâ, she looks at me, âand do their job better. Speaking of which, Miss McCoy, donât forget that you must list all the charges in your documents or the ADA and then the DA canât do their job correctly.â
âI can assure you Ms. Hadid that my job is done correctly, and that ADA Carisi is very satisfied with my work.â
âIâm sure heâs very satisfied of your job, I can tell, but itâs not enough, and ADA Carisi is satisfied with littleâ, her remark makes me turn red. âI should remember that youâre just a little secretary and the fact that your father was one of the best ADA of this city doesnât necessarily make you good at your work, what a shame.â
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I can feel my anger boiling inside of my veins. That woman really treats me like crap.
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âMy daughter is a PA, Ms. Hadid and I can assure you that despite what you are thinking, sheâs very good at her job and she knows what sheâs doing, after all, she assisted me a lot when she was younger and her first job was to be my assistant, so if counsellor Carisi says heâs pleased with her work, believe me, he is. Good day Ms. Hadid, and unfortunately, I canât say that it was a pleasure to meet you.â
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With that, my father links his arm with mine and we step in the elevator.
 Fifteen minutes later, weâre settle at our usual table at Giovanniâs, one of our favorite restaurants. My dad takes me here since Iâm a child. It became one of our rituals.
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âIâm surprised that you never told him that I was your fatherâ, he says after the waiter took our orders. âThat boy was practically fanboying over me. This was funny to see to be honest.â
âHeâs unbeatable on the previous ADAs, and Iâm not sure that he would have treat me normally if I had told him about our filiation. Heâs very passionate about this job. I find it really cuteâ, I reply, drinking a sip of my lemonade.
âI donât think that this is the only thing you find really cute about him.â
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I almost choke on my drink, while heâs looking at me, a small smile playing on his lips before he drinks some of his whiskey.
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âYou shouldnât let her treat you that way you knowâ, my dad suddenly says, after the waiter put down our plates in front of us, and I know heâs talking about Hadid. âI donât like the way she talks to you, and the way she talks about that Carisi guy. Clearly, she doesnât like any of you. But listen to me Y/N, she might be your employer, but donât forget that you actually have a law degree. Just like her and just like that Daddy-Long-Legs for whom you work. Your ADAâ, he adds, emphasizing the âyourâ.
âHeâs not my ADA dadâ, I sigh, praying that I donât blush too much.
âIâve seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him, act around each other. You two act like a married couple without being one. But office relationship is not something I really advice.â
âWhy ? Because of your own and disastrous experiment ?â, I ask more harshly that I intended.
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He gives me a dirty look and I know Iâve gone too far. This is still a sensitive subject. Even if many years have passed, I know that he still feels guilty about Claire Kincaidâs death.
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âDad, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât have talk to you like that. This was rude from me. I know you only want whatâs best for meâ, I say, reaching for his hand on the table.
âThatâs okay Y/N, youâre an adult and I canât spend my time to protect you nor make choices for you. He seems to be a nice and good guy and if something happens between the two of you, Iâll support you.â
âThanks dad, but I donât think that anything will happen between Dominick and me. And to talk about Hadid, I donât want to risk getting fired, not when I love the job Iâm doing and make a good team with the person I work for. I know I can find a PA job anywhere in the city and that I can work in another DA office, but I love working with SVU and with counsellor Carisi.â
âPromise me something thenâ, he starts, and I just nod, while he grabs my hand, âif she harasses you, youâll report her. That woman is determined and tough, but I have no doubt that she would crush you, or Carisi, if she could.â
âI have no doubt about that eitherâ, I respond, drinking some of my lemonade. âDonât worry dad, if she goes too far, Iâll not hesitate to report her. I promise.â
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We continue to eat, in a comfortable silence.
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âAre you going at your mom for Christmas ?â, he asks.
âNo. Last time I spoke to her, she reproached me to be too close to you. And I responded that she shouldnât have to leave when I was a kid, I would probably be closer to her. Same thing as usualâ, I shrug.
âYou should be less hard with her.â
âSheâs the one who chose that situation. Thank God, you never brought an evil stepmother or evil stepsisters home. Just your pretty and young coworkers.â
âWhat about your sister ?â, he asks.
âRebecca ? Donât have any news for a while. I think she has better things to do than spending time with her little half-sister whoâs fifteen years younger than her. I think I might spend it by myself this year, unless you have nothing planned.â
âIâm already invited by a judge I worked with, in California. I can ask him if you can come if you want to.â
âNo thatâs okay, thanks dad, Iâll have a quiet night, Iâll order takeout and watch some movies. Iâm used to be alone, remember.â
âThat makes me sad to know that you will be alone on Christmas. You are young, you need to have some fun. Go to parties.â
âSpeaking of partiesâ, I say, taking the envelopes from my bag, âI had those this morning.â
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I hand him his letter announcing the annual Christmas ball.
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âMasqueradeâ, he reads, after taking the letter out of the envelop. âDoes that mean they expect us to wear a mask ?â, he asks, not really thrilled at that perspective.
âThatâs exactly what they expectâ, I reply, taking a bite of food from my plate. âIt could be fun, for once.â
âAre you going ?â
âI have to, I canât skip my jobâs Christmas party, especially not when Iâm the daughter of Jack McCoy.â
âWhat are you going to wear ?â, he questions.
âI donât know, it seems that Kat found something for me, she seems to have decided to play Fairy Godmother with me. Said she found me a gown to wear on that night, to pop-up my inner Cinderellaâ, I sigh.
âMaybe you should let her do it, sheâs your friend, she wants to help you.â
âI know. What about you, are you coming ?â
âIâm going every year, with you since youâre a child, Iâm not going to skip that year either, after all they probably will be expecting for me. Especially that boss of yours.â
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He folds the letter in two before putting it in his pocket. We finish our lunches and then spend the afternoon walking in Central Park, going to the zoo, another old tradition from my childhood. I must admit that dad freed up some time for me more than he did for Rebecca. Maybe thatâs one of the reasons why she doesnât really like me. Well, I donât really think that dad took care more about me than about her. I know he did spend more time with me, but thatâs because my mother left. I spent countless nights on the couch of his office, countless days doing my homework on the spare table of his office, sitting in a court room, waiting for him to finish work, eating sandwiches instead of real meals, sometimes a hot meal from the restaurant down the street. When I was old enough to take care of myself, I stayed home, but I found my way back to my dadâs office for my first job during the holidays. I was helping, just like his assistant. Little by little I learned to love that job, helping the ADA, being here when he speaks with the victims, trying to help said victim, somehow investigating for him. Yes, I went to law school and had my degree, and I could be a lawyer, but being the ADAâs PA, was what I really wanted, I couldnât guess that for a while I would be stuck in the archives.
 After our afternoon, my dad takes me back to my apartment. After we agreed on going at the Masquerade ball together as we do every year.
 The next day is busy. I wasnât expected for the trial to be that soon. We had a message when I barely arrived that a court and a judge was available for today. The file is complete, we explained to Malia, the victim, all she had to know and that she has to stuck with what she told us, trying to not be destabilized by the other lawyer, everything is ready and weâre sitting at court, when we get the list of the defenseâs witnesses.
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âThere is someone I donât know on it. Look, a last-minute additionâ, counsellor Carisi tells me, pointing the name of a man.
âWhat do you want to do ? Do you want me to do a quick research ? That name is ringing a bell to me. As if my father had a trial with a man having the same name. Give me an hour or two, I can probably find somethingâ, he just nods and with that, I rise from my chair and go out of the courtroom.
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I almost run to my office, quickly making a research in the archives. Bingo, I knew it. Quickly printing what Iâve found, I go back to the courthouse as fast as I can to assist counsellor Carisi. When I arrive again inside of the courthouse, I slide next to my boss, noticing that the man is already in the witness booth.
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âHoward Caplan convicted for rape almost twenty years ago. Thatâs why the name rang a bell to me, my dad was in charge of his trial. Caplan is a rapist, a murderer, and a liar. Heâs one of those people who think that victims deserved what happened to them. Heâs out because he was released for good behavior three years ago. If you want my opinion, this is a big fuck you to his victims. I was in courthouse when he was found guilty, I was young, but I will remember that face all my life, the face of a monster. The MO is the same, Caplan is probably Rowellâs mentorâ, I whisper in Carisiâs ear.
âHow did you find it ?â, he asks me, after I show him the paper with the information he needed for the trial.
âIâm the daughter of a retired ADA and the granddaughter of a cop, that makes me really good at sticking my nose into someoneâs past, plus this was in the archives I had to type when I worked in my little mouse holeâ, I wink at him. âNow you know what buttons to push.â
âY/N, youâre amazing, I could kiss youâ, he says louder, and I turn bright red, and so does he when he realize what he just said. âI mean with no ulterior motive.â
âCounsellor Carisi, if you and Miss Y/L/N have to talk of personal matters, I suggest you do it outside of my courtâ, the judge shouts in our direction, looking at us.
âIâm sorry your honor.â
âSorryâ, I repeat, and she sighs.
Dominickâs squeezes my hand under the table as another way to say âthank youâ, his long fingers caressing my palm, a very intimate gesture. I bite my lower lip trying not to sigh in pleasure, and to pay attention to whatâs said.
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âCounsellor Carisi, do you have things to ask the witness ?â
âYes, your honorâ, he responds the judge, letting go of my hand and standing up, buttoning his jacket, I can see the gearwheel turning into his head.
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And for five minutes straight, using the information I gave him, he managed to make Caplan admit that he is Rowellâs mentor and that he didnât want to kill and rape by himself now not to go back in prison. But his confession is a violation to his parole, so heâs arrested right here and there. As for Rowell, heâs declared guilty by the jury. I sigh in relief when the verdict is said, looking at Malia, whoâs sitting right behind me, Captain Benson, and Kat at her sides.
 âThank you so much counsellor Carisiâ, she says, hugging him tight.
âActually, Iâm not the one you should thank. Y/N found about Caplanâs past. She helped me a lotâ, he tells her, slightly grabbing my hand in his.
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I swallow the lump in my throat while his stares at me right in the eyes.
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âThank you, Y/N, youâve been really nice with me during this all thingâ, Malia turns to me and hugs me, making counsellor Carisi let go of my hand.
âYouâre welcome Malia. Donât forget that if you need something, you can contact me.â
âI know, thank youâ, she says, hugging me again and tighter, before letting go of me.
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Malia exits the courtroom with her mother and sister.
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âThank you, Y/N, I donât know what I would do without youâ, Dominickâs voice says next to me.
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I turn to him, his blue eyes are sparkling, while he steps towards me, his gaze never leaving mine.
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âY/N, Iâd like toâŠâ
âY/N, you were amazingâ, Kat jumps in, cutting counsellor Carisi, and hold me in her arms. âYou and I are officially off duty so let girlâs night begin !â
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From the corner of my eye, I can see Dominick leaving the courthouse alongside with Captain Benson. He slightly turns his head towards me, and I can see sadness in his eyes. I grab my bag and follow Kat who drags me outside of the building.
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âDonât tell me that you never noticed the way he looks at youâ, Kat says, after at least our fifth or sixth drink.
âHeâs not looking at me in any way. Our relationship is strictly professionalâ, I slur, as drunk as she is.
âAnd the way you look at him.â
âIâm not looking at it in any way either.â
âYou both look like two idiots in love, but youâre too idiots to noticeâ, she gulps her drink and waves at the waiter for another. âHe looks like a lovesick puppy in love.â
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The waiter puts down another drink in front of her.
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âAnd besidesâ, she continues, âtoday he literally said that he could kiss you, in court, in front of everyone. That you canât deny.â
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At those words, I remember what happened after the judge called us to order, his hand touching mine, little circles on my palm, his hand almost sliding in mine and then, the judge asking him to question the witness, only those thoughts make my cheeks turning red again.
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âHe just said that because he was happy I found the information. I donât think he intended to do itâ, I sigh, sipping my mojito.
âYou know what you need, you need to get laid ! When was the last time you had a good fuck ?â
âKat !â, I shout.
âWhat ? Youâre gorgeous, clever and you need to get that tall blond and handsome Italian out of your mind. You two act like a married couple without being one.â
âThatâs funny you say that my dad told me exactly the same yesterday.â
âAnd heâs rightâ, she gulps her drink once again. âAnotherâ, she waves one more time at the waiter.
âNo more drinks for you two ladies, you already had way too many and I ordered a cab for you two to go home safely, rideâs on meâ, he winks at us. âAnd this is my numberâ, he adds, handing me a piece of paper with his phone number on, âin case that guy you like doesnât open his eyes.â
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I thank him and put the paper in my pocket. A few minutes later, the doors opens to a woman around Kat and Iâs age and the waiter waves at her to indicate that we are the customers. The ride home has us sleepy and at the second we pass my front door, Kat collapses on the couch, and I manage to reach my room, after putting a plaid on her so she wonât catch a cold. Sheâs right, I mother people too much. Then, I finally allow myself to sleep when I fall on my bed.
The next morning, I wake up with a slight headache, fully clothed and Katâs groan from the living room.
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âFuck, my head.â
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I stretch like a cat on the mattress, feeling my whole-body crack before getting up.
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âGood morning to you tooâ, I say, stepping in my living room.
âHow could you let me drink that much ?â, she asks.
âNothing can seem to have stopped you, so I rather drank tooâ, I respond, shrugging. âWhat do you think about breakfast ?â
âGive me some aspirin firstâ, she says, sitting on the couch, massaging her temples.
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I turn around and walk to the kitchen. I open a cupboard and pull out two glasses, before filling it with water. I open the meds cabinet and take two aspirin pills, then I head back to the living room.
Â
âHere you goâ, I hand her one of the pills and one of glasses of water before gulping my own pill and water.
âThank Godâ, she thanks me, taking the glass and the pill.
âOh, you can just call me Y/N, you knowâ, I joke, and she chuckles. âWhat about breakfast now ?â, I ask.
âI thought you would never askâ, she answers, rising from the couch.
She follows me to the kitchen. I take grab two mugs and start the coffee maker and the kettle.
âSo, dress shopping todayâ, she states, very seriously when I put some bread, butter, spread and jam in front of her. âI will doll you up for the love of Carisi.â
âYouâre obsessed Kat.â
âMe ? No, I just want my best friendâs happiness.â
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I rise an eyebrow, not really knowing what to answer to that. I appreciate Katâs efforts to help me having a love life, but I really donât really see why she absolutely wants to set me up with Carisi. I recognize that I have a massive crush on my boss, but regarding my dadâs situation when I was younger, I donât think this is a good idea.
Â
âStop trying to set me up with my boss please.â
âNoâ, she replies, a sly smile on her lips.
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I pour some coffee in her mug and some water in mine before I hand her the steamy coffee. We take our breakfast in a comfortable silence before each of us take a shower. As Kat and I are used to sleep at each otherâs home after a night outside or for a girlâs night, we have spare clothes at each otherâs.
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âAre you ready ?â, she asks, as soon as I go outside of my bedroom, slipping my head into a NYC sweater.
âIs it normal that I am frightened about that dress story ?â, I question.
âI promise you that you have nothing to be afraid about. I swear that you will love that dress and look stunning in it. It was made for you.â
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I sigh, I donât really have a choice, I need a dress for the DAâs office Christmas Ball and I also know that Kat doesnât give up that easy. She almost drags me from my apartment to the subway. Thirty minutes later, she stops in front of a little clothes shop.
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âHow did you find this place ?â, I ask her, knowing that the kind of dress I can see in the window display.
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Indeed, a lot of the dresses I can see look like prom gowns or princessesâ dresses. So far from Katâs usual clothing. I never wore a dress like this, not even for my prom. To be honest, I didnât even go to prom, no one invited me, and I didnât want to go there alone, instead, I spent the night at the restaurant with my dad who then, took me to a musical, a quiet night to celebrate my high school graduation and acceptation to law school. I look at one of the dressing and then close my eyes, imaging myself in it, looking like a princess, waltzing with a tall blue-eyed Italian in a three pieces-suit.
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âY/N. Y/N. Y/N. Earth to Y/N, come back hereâ, my eyes shoot open. âYou were daydreaming again, and according to the smile on your face, I know who you were daydreaming aboutâ, she sings-song mockingly.
âI wasnât daydreaming about Sonnyâ, I poorly defend myself too quickly, probably blushing in the process.
âAh ! I knew it !â, she points at me. âBut youâre not going into one of these dresses. There is a special one waiting for you insideâ, she adds, dragging me inside of the store.
âKat, youâre here !â, a woman says behind the counter. âAnd I bet this is the friend you told me about. The one for the dressâ, she adds, smiling at me. âCome in darlingâ, she moves from her spot and grabs my hand to pull me towards fitting rooms, before making me step on a pedestal. âYou were right Iâm sure the dress will be perfect for her. Please sweetheart, take off your coat so I can see if the size is the good one.â
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I do what she says, shrugging my coat off my shoulder. She points at my sweater that I take off too.
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âPerfect, sheâs gonna be perfect for my dressâ, she claps her hands after turning around me.
âI told you it was made for her. And heâs gonna be crazy about it.â
âCan you please stop talking as if I wasnât in the room ?â, I question, annoyed.
âYes, sorry sweetie. Youâll step in that fitting you and remove your clothes, socks and shoes too, just stay in your underwear, and Iâll come with the dress and help you slip in it. There are no mirrors in the room, so youâll not see yourself before we come back hereâ, I just nod. âCome on, undress and Iâll get the dress.â
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Just before I close the fitting room door, I can see the woman locking the front door and turning the open/close sign. I undress as she told me, hopping Iâll not die of cold before she comes back.
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âWell, are you ready dear ?â, I hear less than two minutes later, and when I say yes, she comes in, carrying a huge slipcover. âTurn around and close your eyes. Kat wants it to be a surpriseâ, Â I comply, I donât want to offend Kat, especially when she wants to make me a surprise. âLift your arms, yes perfectâ, I can feel the soft fabric of the dress on my skin. One hand puts my right shoulder under a brace, hands smooth the top of the dress around my chest, strings are pulled behind my back, and finally, the skirt is behind deployed around my legs and feet. âPut your hands on the wall, Iâll put the shoes on your feet.â I obey one more time, feeling my feet slipping in, making me a little taller. âCome on darling, eyes closed still, youâll follow me.â
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She grabs my hands and guides me back to the store.
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âOh my God, Y/N, youâre stunningâ, Kat says from I donât know where.
âWell, for now, I have to believe you as I havenât seen myself yet.â
âBelieve me, you look like a princess.â
âMind the stepâ, the store woman warns me. âOne more little thing and you can open your eyes.â
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I can feel her putting something on my shoulders. A soft and light fabric, maybe tulle caresses my skin.
Â
âOpen the mirrors Kat pleaseâ, she says. âOkay, now sweetheart, youâll open your eyes and see yourself. On three. One. Two. Three.â
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I open my eyes. There are mirrors all around and reflecting in those, me, in the most beautiful dress Iâve ever seen in my life.
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âItâs... IâŠâ, I donât know what to say, I barely recognize myself. I look like Cinderella. The dress is blue, with light blue and golden strass on the bustier which has only one shoulder strap, the other goes under my left arm, little blue straps in the back. The skirt is perfect, made of silk covered with blue tulle, with silver glitters, is not too big nor too small. A tulle shawl is covering my shoulders and tied on my chest. I lift the skirt to check on the shoes. They are the same color as the dress, blue with silver glitters. âOh my godâ, I manage to finally say after looking at me in the mirrors. âKat, you were right, I look like a princess.â
âLeast but not lastâ, the shop owner comes back near me, a sliver mask matching my dress in her hands. âI designed it for you, especially for the dressâ, she adds, putting it on my nose.
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I look at the mask, on the silver base, there are blue patterns on the left side and a golden butterfly on the right, with some pearls on its wing. I step down the pedestal and hug Kat tight.
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âYouâre going to be the most beautiful woman of that ball.â
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Three weeks after the dress fitting, and said dress hanging on my wardrobe, in a slipcover, waiting to be worn tomorrow at the DA Christmas Ball. Those last three weeks have been pretty calm, which was unexpected considering the time of the year. Usually, Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year. During those three weeks, I spent a lot of times with Dominick and he was dashing as usual. His blue eyes sparkling when talks about his nieces waiting for Santa to give them gifts. The ball is tomorrow and then, next Saturday itâs Christmas Eve, and on Sunday Christmas, that Iâll spend on my own this year. Maybe itâll do me good, the occasion to rest and rethink my life maybe.
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âWell, I think we donât need to stay here any longerâ, counsellor Carisi says, going out of his office. âYou can turn this off Y/N, I donât think that something will happen now. Friday, 5:30 pm, no calls from SVU since last week. I must admit that Iâm glad that this year is calm, not like last year where we had work all over our heads.â
Â
He smiles at me and my heart nearly misses a beat. That man will be the death of me someday. Why am I not even capable to ask him for a drink or a lunch date sometimes, just the two of us, no work between us and especially, no Vanessa Hadid, who just happened to appear in the corridor where my desk is, when Dominick is about to speak again.
Â
âCarisi, McCoyâ, she calls us. âYou both can leave, we donât have any more work, so we can call it a week. Go get a drink or grab something to eat, enjoy your evening. See you both at the ball tomorrow. Well, if I manage to recognize youâ, she adds, before leaving.
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I turn off my computer to see that he came back into his office, probably to take his coat and turn off the light. Then, he comes back when I rise from my chair, putting my scarf around my neck.
Â
âY/N, before Ms. Hadid arrived and interrupted us, I was about to tell you that itâs still early and I wanted to ask you if youâd like toâŠâ
âY/N !â, I hear my dadâs voice shooting from behind.
âDad ? What are you doing here ?â, I question, turning to him, taken by surprise.
âTaking you to dinner sweetheart, it wasnât planned but as we are going to the DA ball tomorrow and also because I wonât be here the next two weeks so we wonât have our lunch date, I thought that we could spend the evening together.â
âI⊠Yes dad, of courseâ, I respond, âgive me a minute pleaseâ, he nods, and I turn back to my boss. âWhat did you want to ask me Dominick ?â
âNever mind, another time maybeâ, he answers, looking disappointed. âYou should spend a good night with your father and enjoy it. Iâll see you tomorrow, try to save me a dance. Have a nice evening. It was a pleasure to see you again Mr. McCoyâ, he says, before extending his hand to my father to shake it.
âDid I interrupt something ?â, my father asks once Sonny is out of view and ears.
âYouâre the second person interrupting when heâs about to ask me somethingâ, I whisper, not loud enough for him to hear it.
âWhat ?â
âNothingâ, I sadly smile at him. âLetâs go for a walk and maybe, Iâll find your Christmas present on the wayâ, trying to be as joyful as possible, feeling bad for Dominick who twice tried to say something and was interrupted, once by our shrew boss, the second time by my good intentioned father.
âIf you want my opinion, that boy probably wanted to ask you on a date. Heâs got a thing for you.â
âDad, we already talked about it, donât be ridiculous. Letâs go now, would youâ, I conclude, slipping my coat on my shoulders.
Â
The evening passed fast and the next day is here too soon. Kat joins me in the afternoon to get ready. Her friend from the store showed her how to put the dress on me.
Â
âThere you goâ, she says, putting a little more red lipstick on my lips. âPerfect.â
Â
She turns me to the mirror, and I look at myself. I already loved the dress when I tried it, but I love it more this time with make-up and my hair done. I take a look at Katâs outfits. She wears a black suit, with a little touch of make up on her eyes.
Â
âYou really are something else Katriona Tamin.â
âWhat ? Because I donât wear a dress ?â
âNo because youâre really something else. Iâve never had a friend who did for me what you have done. I donât even know if anybodyâs friend already did that. You saw a dress, booked it for me convinced that it would fit, you support me and help me when I need something. Iâm glad I met you Kat Tamin and itâs an honor to call you my best friend. Thank youâ, I say, hugging her tight.
âOh, donât thank me now Y/N McCoy, youâll thank me when you and Carisi are married, having kids and when youâll ask me to be the godmother of your first born.â
âKat !â
âDonât pretend to be offended. If tonight he doesnât fall for you, Iâll kick his ass myself.â
Â
We start to laugh when weâre interrupted by the doorbell.
Â
âHey dadâ, I greet him, opening the door.
âHello sweetheartâ, he responds, kissing my forehead. âYou look radiantâ, he adds, taking a step back to look at me.
âThanks daddy. I feel like a princessâ, I turn on myself to show him the back of the dress.
âDonât forget this !â, Kat says, handing me my mask. âHi Mr. McCoy.â
âMiss Tamin. What an interesting choice of outfit. But it suites you.â
âThank you, Mr. McCoy. You look very good yourself.â
âThanks, I just didnât put that onâ, he says, waving the mask in his hand. âThis is ridiculous.â
âThatâs not ridiculous dad, thatâs the principle of a masquerade ball.â
âWe should go, or we will be lateâ, Kat states.
âI have a little surprise for you girlsâ, my dad says once I lock the door.
Â
Indeed, a very big surprise, I was expecting a cab waiting for us, but a limo is parked in front of my building. The driver opens the door and help Kat and I to climb in the car. The ride is quick and before I can realize it, weâre in front of the city hall where the ball takes place. We put our masks on before exiting the car.
Â
âCan you please take us back at midnight ?â, my father asks the driver.
âOf course, sir. Have a nice nightâ, and with that, he comes back in car and drives away.
Â
I rise my head and notice that the city hall has been decorated for the occasion with a lot of white lights in the shape of snowflakes. My father starts to climb the stairs, followed by Kat.
Â
âDad wait a minute please. Promise me something. Donât drink too much tonight please.â
âBe here at midnight or Iâll leave without you.â
Â
That said, he offers me his arm to climb the stairs, Kat by my side. I hand to the person at the door our invitations and we come in. The inside of the ballroom is more beautiful than the outside. There is a huge white Christmas tree, decorated with some Christmas balls, garlands and lights. The walls are full of colorful ribbons. There are tables, full of food and drinks all around the dancefloor, a disco ball hanging on the celling, a DJ is placed in the far end of the room. All around us, there are people wearing masks, so thatâs impossible to say whoâs who.
Â
âIâll go grab a drinkâ, my dad says. âIâll see you laterâ, and with that he leaves.
âI want to ferret a little around. If I donât see you again before you leave, Iâll call you tomorrowâ, she says, kissing my cheek. âHave a good night Cinderellaâ, she winks at me before walking away.
Â
I sigh, finding myself alone in the middle of that big party. I take a glass of champagne of the table and sip on it and taste one of the appetizers on a plate next to the drinks. I start to wander around, climbing the stairs to the balcony, looking down at the ball room, watching the first dancers evolving on the dancefloor. I donât know who they are and Iâm not sure that they know who they are dancing with, but everyone seems to be happy with that. I go back downstairs, wandering on the first floor. Music is blasting from the loudspeakers while Iâm still walking around almost walking through I donât know what door, when a hand touch my arm and stops me. I turn around to see who it is, and my eyes meet with a pair of blue ones. The tall man in front of me is starring, before he grabs my hand and take it to his lips, laying a kiss on it. I canât properly see his face because of my mask, and his only let me see his eyes, his mask sort of looking like the one of Erik, The Phantom of the Opera, I can only see his mouth, not his nose nor the shape of his face, he wears a black suit, Phantom of the Opera style too, matching his mask. Then, silently, he lightly turns his gaze towards the dancefloor, silently asking for my permission to dance and I just nod. He leads me to the middle of the dancefloor. He takes my hand in his and slides his arm around my waist while I put my other hand on his shoulder, and we start to sway to the music. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, the song says, while his eyes are never leaving mine. Itâs just him and I lost in the middle of the crowd, locked in a bubble, where nothing else exists but my mysterious dance partner. The more we sway, the more I feel Iâm where Iâm meant to be, even if I donât know who he is, I feel good in the arms of that unknown man, who doesnât seem to know who I am either. The more the song passes, the more I want to kiss him, my eyes go from his eyes to his lips and I think that he must have understand because he leans towards me. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, the song says again when our lips finally touch. My mysterious partner has soft lips, I tighten my grip on his shoulder when he deepens the kiss.
The song ends and itâs like our bubble doesnât burst. He looks at me smiling, pecking my lips once again, before dragging me behind him towards the inner gardens. Iâm giggling like a teenager, living my prom in my early thirties instead of at seventeen. He presses me to one of the pillars of the city hall, his right hand on it while his left hand cups my right cheek and his lips find mine again. My hands find his arms and Iâm sliding them until I reach the back of his neck, pulling him a little more into me. Iâve never been kissed like this, ever. I donât know how long I stay here, kissing a perfect stranger but it feels so right and maybe, just maybe for once, I can allow myself not to think about Dominick Carisi Jr. Iâm still in my bubble until I hear it.
Â
âGoddamn it, where is she ?!â, I recognize my dadâs voice, opening my eyes wide, pulling away from my strange one-night lover and also realize that the city hall clock strikes midnight.
âWhat is it ?â, my mysterious man asks, whispering.
âI⊠I have to goâ, I answer, murmuring too. âIâm sorryâ, I add, pecking his lips one more time before running for my life.
Â
I think he didnât had time to process because I have time to reach the main entry of the city hall.
Â
âHey, wait !â, I can hear behind me, but I donât have time to care about him.
âDad, waitâ, I shoot, from the top of the stairs when I see him walking towards the limo, and by the way he walks, I can say that he drank more that he should have. âDadâ, I lift my dress and start to run down the stairs.
Â
I manage to reach the car, after I struggled with a hole in the stairs and the heel of one of my shoes.
Â
âThere you areâ, my dadâs drunk voice greets me when I sit down, and the driver starts to drive. âI saw you kissing I donât know who. I know I told you you should have fun, but I didnât think that you would take it that way. âWhat ?â, he asks suddenly.
âMy shoe, I lost one of my shoes, and my shawlâ, I say, looking down at my feet, unknotting my mask.
âWell play, now your mysterious prince charming is going to make all the girls from New York trying that shoe to find you.â
âDad, please stopâ, I just manage to say, too tired to bite back at him, because all I want now is to go back home and sleep, probably replaying myself the dance and the kiss to put myself to sleep.
 Sonnyâs POV
 Iâm dressing myself, hoping that this will have a good effect for the masquerade ball. I made some research before I chose my outfit for tonight. I didnât really want to look like a prince charming, I wanted to try something different and I remembered that Y/N once mentioned that there was a masquerade ball in a musical she has seen several times with her father when she was younger, The Phantom of the Opera. I checked online to see what the suit and the mask looked like and I decided to wear it. I just took a mask that was a little different.
Â
âHey Carisi, nice disguiseâ, Fin says when he parks in front of my building.
âWanted to do something a little less conventional than usual, play the gameâ, I respond.
âPlay the game dressing as The Phantom of the City Hall ?â, he mocks me. âMaybe you do that for a certain Y/H/C with Y/E/C lady.â
âSheâs supposed to be here, with her father, but with the masks, Iâm not sure that Iâll recognize her, she can be dressed in any outfit.â
âLetâs just hope youâll find her. Now we better get going, I have to take Phoebe on the way.â
Â
We stop by Phoebeâs apartment where she comes out dressed in an amazing dress. Once at the city hall and in the ball room, I look around to see if I spot Y/N or Mr. McCoy, or maybe Kat, as she and Y/N are best friend, she probably knows how sheâs dress. After a first drink and some appetizers, I grab another champagne glass and go upstairs, looking at the ball room from the balcony. Thatâs when I see her. No not Y/N. A girl with Y/H/C in a blue dress, with a matching mask, a butterfly covering half of her face. I donât know what sheâs doing, but sheâs looking at everything in an awe. I donât know why but I feel attract by that girl, I gulp my coupe and go back downstairs. I donât know what sheâs searching or looking for but sheâs about to go in a room she canât go. I donât say a word, just touch her arm. She turns around, sheâs stunning, outstanding, she takes my breath away. A real princess. I just grab her hand and kiss it. I look at the dancefloor, silently asking her if she wants to dance, she just nods and smile. I take her in the middle of it, weâre surrounded by other people. I take her hand in mine and put my other hand on her hip, while she puts her free hand on my shoulder. We sway slowly, following the slow rhythm of the song, some tune that was released when I was like fifteen. I never leave her eyes, gorgeous Y/E/C eyes. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, I donât even know who she is but those are words I would tell that girl. Those are words I would tell Y/N if I dared to tell her how I feel about her, but Iâll probably never say it. At some point I can see her eyes travelling from my eyes to my lips, Iâm attracted to her and I want to kiss her, badly. Once again, I silently ask her, and she silently agrees. I press my lips to hers in a slow but tender kiss. Her fingers tighten around my shoulder. Nothing else exists but her and me, itâs like there is a bubble around us. The song ends but I donât want that night to finish. I peck her lips one more time and take her hand to go to the pillars near the inner gardens. She giggles and I find that this is the cutest sound Iâve ever heard. I press her to one the pillars, I steady myself putting my right hand on the pillar and I cup her cheek with my left hand, and I kiss her again. Thatâs the first time I kiss a total stranger and itâll probably be the last time, but it feels right. Her hands go up my arms and find their place behind my neck pulling me into her. I donât know how long our kiss lasts, but suddenly, she pulls away.
Â
âGoddamn it, where is she ?!â, a voice shouts from I donât know where and the city hall clock strikes midnight.
âWhat is it ?â, I ask her, whispering.
âI⊠I have to goâ, she answers, murmuring too. âIâm sorryâ, she adds, pecking my lips one more time before she runs for her life.
Â
Iâm completely taken aback as she runs away.
Â
âWait !â, I shout, running after her, but sheâs already at the other side of the room, still running. I might have long legs, the crowd stops me to reach her.
Â
I look over peopleâs heads to see her, her head turning from right to left as if sheâs looking for someone. Suddenly, sheâs on the run again.
Â
âHey, wait !â, I shout, making people looking at me.
Â
I see her running down the stairs and when I finally reach the entry and go down the stairs, she dives into a limo and the car leaves.
Â
âWait !â, I shout once again, going down the stairs, trying to catch the car, but itâs too late.
Â
With rage I rip off the mask from my face.
Â
âFuck !â
âCarisi, whatâs going on ?â, I can see Kat at the top of the stairs.
âThereâs, thereâs that girl, I danced with her she⊠SheâŠâ, I suddenly stop seeing a blue shoe stuck in the concrete of the stairs and a blue tulle shawl fluttering around.
Â
I bend to take the shoe and I can see Kat going down to me, the blue shawl in her hands.
Â
âOh, she really made her inner Cinderella pop out, dancing with the prince, loosing a shoe, leaving at midnightâ, she says.
âWhat ?â, I ask.
âNothingâ, she answers.
âYou know who she is donât you ?â, I question her.
âIâm not saying a thingâ, she responds. âYou will have to find your princess by yourselfâ, she adds, handing me the shawl.
Â
I take the shawl in my hands along with the shoes and turn back to where the car disappeared, not knowing how Iâll be able to find who that girl is.
Â
Y/Nâs POV
Â
I slept at my dadâs after the Masquerade ball, I let the dress flood around my feet in my childhood room and find a few clothes I let in the apartment in case I have to sleep here. Nothing changed since the moment I left home, the decoration is still the same, the sheets on the bed are still the ones with animals and I found an old pink pajama in the chest of drawers. My phone beeps, itâs a message from Kat âGirl, I saw you dancing with that guy and most importantly kissing him. Who is he ? So, no more pinning over Carisi ? I want to know everything. Love yaâ. I respond her that we will talk about it later. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep, replaying in my head the dance and the kiss.
The next morning, my father drops me at my apartment before going at the airport and wishing me a merry Christmas. I wave at him when the car goes away, sighing, wondering how Iâll get my shoe back and if Iâll ever know who my mysterious prince charming was.
The next three days nothing really happen either, at work itâs still really calm, and I take advantage of it to clean a little and sort the old files which are ready to go in the archives. Sonny seems to be somewhere else, in his own world, I donât know what heâs thinking about, lost in his thoughts, only snapping back to Earth when I knock on the door. He barely speaks or asks me things, plays with his food when we eat. He seems to look at something that he hides when I enter his office. Itâs Wednesday and frankly I donât really know what to do. I had a phone call with Kat, who asked me about my prince charming if I found out who he was, and I said no. I also told her that I lost one of my shoes and my shawl and asked if she found it or anyone, she said she didnât see any blue shoe nor shawl and that I should ask the city hall. That I did but, they didnât find it either. I wonder who can have my shoe and my shawl. Well, Iâm not sure that anyone would do anything with a thin tulle shawl and a single shoe.
I continue to sort my files, humming the song I danced on with my mysterious blue-eyed prince charming.
 Sonnyâs POV
Â
I have the impression that I spend my time starring at this shoe sing Saturday night. Itâs Wednesday and I still donât know to whom it belongs to, nor the tulle shawl. Luckily, we donât really have work so I can think about what happened during the ball than being distracted of my work. I take the shoe and the shawl everywhere with me, hiding it when someone, mostly Y/N, knocks on the door. Serena came in between and gushed about the ball, saying it was a shame that she didnât see or dance with me. But she spoke about that mysterious girl with the Cinderella dress dancing with an also mysterious man dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and that a lot of persons are talking about them, the mysterious couple. I clearly understood that she was jealous because she wasnât the center of the attention. Knowing her a little, she would have brag about herself if she was the girl in the Cinderella dress. Honestly, Iâm relieved that itâs not her. Actually, Iâd preferred that Cinderella was Y/N to choose. Sheâs very quiet for the last three days, Iâm not really talkative either, each of us in our own world. I didnât even ask her how the ball was for her. We donât have a lot to do, itâs almost like criminals decided to be nice this year.
Itâs very early and I donât have a lot to do and I think that Y/N doesnât have a lot to do either, I could take her out for lunch, we have plenty of time. She started to sort old files to store them in the archives, but I donât think she has many to do after two days of doing it already. I open the door and I can hear her softly humming a song. At first, I donât recognize it, but then âI'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply doâ. The song, the Masquerade ball song, the I danced on with Cinderella. Itâs her, Cinderella is Y/N ! Realization strikes, same hair color, same eyes, how couldnât I even realize it before ? I step back in my office and take the shoe and the shawl out of the drawer before going back to the hall.
Â
âI wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea, I wanna lay like this forever, Until the sky falls down on me.â
Â
Hearing these words, she turns around, looking at me with wide eyes, falling on the shoe and the shawl between my hands.
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Y/Nâs POV
Â
Behind me, I hear the chorus of the song from the ball. I turn around and I can feel my eyes widen when I realize that prince charming is Dominick freaking Carisi Jr., my own boss, the guy Iâm heads over heels for, for a year. My eyes fall on the shoe in his hand, my shoe, the one I lost.
Â
âIt was you all alongâ, he almost murmurs. âI think this is yoursâ, he adds, kneeling in front of me before I can even rise from my chair.
Â
He removes my left shoe from my foot and slips the blue one on. I donât even respond, I just look into his beautiful blue orbs, wondering how I couldnât see that it was him all along. How couldnât I not recognize someone I see almost every day for more than a year. He gets on his feet and holds his hand to me so I can get up too. None of us say a word, he just slips the shawl around my shoulders.
Â
âIt seems that people are talking about usâ, he says, his voice still soft and without raising his tone, and I look up to him. âWhat happened Saturday night, you have no idea for how long I wanted this to happenâ, he adds, his hand cupping my cheek, making me look at him. I start to touch his arms, my eyes never leaving his. âY/N, can I kiss you again ? Because to be honest, thatâs the only thing Iâve been thinking about for the last three days and the moment you ran away.â
âYes, you can, Dominick. And for the record, thatâs the only thing Iâve been thinking about too.â
Â
In no time, he bends his head, and his lips are on mine giving me a soft but yet passionate kiss. I snake my arms around his neck, one of my hands starts to play with his hair, allowing him to pull me a little more into his tall frame, one of his hands finds its way behind my head, when his second arm wraps itself around my waist. Once again, I feel like Iâm in a bubble, here in Sonny Carisiâs arms, itâs like nothing can harm me there.
Â
âExcuse me, what the hell is going on here ?â
Â
We both turn our heads to the voice coming from the other side of my desk. Vanessa Hadid is here, starring at us.
Â
âMiss McCoy, I donât think I pay you to make out with one of my ADAs. You are paid to assist him, not to kiss him. Mr. Carisi, I donât think that behavior is appropriated, and this could make both of you fired. Or I can send Miss McCoy back to her little whole downstairs. Your choice Miss McCoy, either you and counsellor Carisi stop there your little make out session and go back to normal relationship, or you can go back to your little hole in the archives or if I want to, I can fire you right away.â
Â
Thatâs too much this time, itâs the final straw. Sonny lets go of me and I smooth my clothes.
Â
âMs. Hadid, may Iâm going to tell you something, and I donât want to be interrupted. I donât know what Iâve done to you or why you donât like me. Is it because of my name ? Because my father is one of the greatest and most famous ADA and then DA that city ever known ? Is that an ego problem ? Let me tell you something. I know youâre the one who hired me, so I donât think that you have see my resume, but if you look at it, youâll see that I have a law degree, just like you, just like counsellor Carisi, just like my father, the great Jack McCoy. I just chose a different path. I spent a lot of time around here when I was a kid. When I was old enough to work, I helped my father, was his PA and I loved the job, thatâs why I chose to be a PA rather than a lawyer. What youâre doing to me is harassment, once again I donât know why, but I think that it must be because my name is McCoy, that for you maybe Iâm privilege because of that. Breaking new, Iâm not. But you know what, I know my rights, nothing authorizes you to fire me just because Iâm in a relationship with a coworker, especially of it doesnât jeopardize our work. Sonny and I are a great team. So, threating me of fire me because of that, you donât have the right to. I could sue you for that you know, and believe me, you never saw me in court. My father could represent me, go out of his retirement, and plead for me. Or I could do it by myself, and believe me, as Jack McCoyâs daughter, I know how to defend a case. So now Ms. Hadid, threat me one more time for no reason and Iâll sue you, and I can guarantee you, that youâll not win.â
Â
She opens and closes her mouth like a goldfish out of its tank.
Â
âIf you both think that this relationship will not have a bad influence on your work, there is no problem for me. I just wanted to let you know that Iâm on a break from now to the end of the holidays. Both of you have nice holidays and Iâll see you in January.â
Â
With that, she leaves, letting me and Sonny alone in my hall.
Â
âI didnât know you had a law degreeâ, Sonny wraps his arms around my waist.
âOh, I donât tell everyone in fact. Everyone would think that they need to hire me as a lawyer because of my father and I donât want that. Plus, I think I wouldnât have made a good attorney. Iâm satisfied with my workâ, I shrug.
Â
I look at him, hair disheveled from my hands, so far from their usual combing.
Â
âDo you want to have lunch outside ?â, he asks.
âDominick Carisi Jr., are you asking me out ?â
âIf you want it to be a date, this can be, Miss McCoy.â
âIâd love toâ, I respond, âbut maybe it would be better if I wear the same shoesâ, I laugh.
Â
I sit down again on my chair to change my shoe for my boot. When Iâm on my feet again, Sonny hands me my coat and helps me to put it. When Iâm ready, we walk hand in hand to the elevator.
Â
âStill nothing planned for Christmas ?â, he questions.
âNope, nothing but tv and probably Chinese takeout.â
âWhat if you come with me at my parentsâ ? One more person will not change anything. And my mom will be very impressive that I managed to put the glass slipper on Cinderellaâs foot.â
Â
I laugh and I accept, I really have a good feeling about this.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Summary : When going to the precinct holiday party, Y/N remembers what happened the year before and decides that itâs time for her to move on and to reveal a secrets she keeps for a few months.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader, Nick Amaro x reader
Warnings : Flashback Smut, language, consomption of alcohol.
Word Count : 4 000
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushââs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the square holiday party. Also itâs my birthday and I wanted to post something today ! Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special
Summary : When going to the precinct holiday party, Y/N remembers what happened the year before and decides that it's time for her to move on and to reveal a secrets she keeps for a few months.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader, Nick Amaro x reader
Warnings : Flashback Smut, language, consomption of alcohol.
Word Count : 4 000
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushââs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the square holiday party. Also itâs my birthday and I wanted to post something today ! Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title :Â Last Christmas - Wham!
Masterlist
Buy me a â
The yearly Christmas party. Inevitable, coming every year, the whole precinct gets all dress up. This year, I chose a black skirt, black tights, a pair of black boots and a blue Christmas sweater representing the body of an elf. Wrapped in my coat, my Harry Potter scarf around my neck and its matching beany on my head and gloves on my hands, I climb the stairs to go inside, knowing that heâs waiting for me inside. The heat inside hits me as soon as I push the door.
Â
âGood evening detective Y/L/Nâ, a kind voice from behind the reception desk says.
âGood evening, Danielleâ, I answer to the middle age woman who rises from her chair. âReady to go to the party ?â, I ask her.
âIâll not stay longâ, she answers. âIâll just have a drink and a few chats with everyone, and Iâll head homeâ, she smiles.
âWant to come upstairs with me ?â
âIf youâre willing to give me a few minutesâ, she smiles at me.
âSure, take your time.â
Â
Danielle puts her chair under her desk and gets out of her tiny booth to enter the bathroom. A few minutes later, she exits it, looking a freshen up.
Â
âIâm all ready to go.â
Â
We happily chat during our little walk to the elevators. Danielle tells me about her grand children who are coming for Christmas and ask me what Iâm doing. I just answer that I donât know yet if my family will be here or not.
Â
âGood eveningâ, a voice comes from behind when we are waiting for the elevator.
âOh, detective Amaroâ, Danielle beams at him. âLong time no see.â
âI knowâ, he responds her, smiling. âY/Nâ, he says coldly turning to me, losing his smile, nodding his head towards me.
âNickâ, I nod back, responding on the same tone.
Â
Even after almost a year, there is still tension between me and the black-haired man who used to be my partner, and the man I was in love with. In the elevator, Danielle joyfully chats, Nick politely listening while Iâm trying not to say nasty things to my former lover. The doors finally open and Nick, very gentlemanly, lets Danielle go outside first.
Â
âAfter youâ, he motions for me to exit before him.
âThanksâ, I say, exiting without a second glance.
Â
I definitely turned the Nick page, or at least Iâll turn it definitely tonight. I leave my handbag and my coat to the short-lived cloakroom and enter the room that was decorated for the party. I hug my squad before chatting with some other cops of the precinct then a few words with Rafael Barba, our ADA and finally, I go to the buffet to grab a Christmas cocktail on the long table. I move next to one of the French windows and I lean against it, sipping my beverage from the paper cup, watching Nick kiss, hug, and happily chat with the team he hasnât seen in almost a year. I turn my back to them, looking at the snow falling through the window, swallowing another mouthful of my drink. As I contemplate the white flakes falling, I go down memory lane.
 I met Nick when I first arrive at SVU. I joined in mid-2012. I was new and not really experimented, especially for SVU, but I saw an opening, and a way to help people more than I already did, really be able to help victims and with the recommendation of my former boss, I got the job and Olivia took my under her wing, helping me at first to fit in. I was the youngest, but according to Captain Cragen, I found my place quickly, the fact of being only twenty-five helped a lot to bond with children, teenage victims, or girls of my age. After six months, I was paired with Nick. Thatâs how I developed a crush on Nick and how I gradually fell in love with him. Of course, I knew he was married and had a daughter, but I couldnât help myself falling in love with that gorgeous Cuban man. I knew that Maria was overseas a lot and that made us become closer as he was often alone and so was I. He invited me to dinners with his daughter, or taking her to Central Park, to the zoo. At first, I contented myself with being a close friend, but it only made me fall for him more and more. When his wife came back, we spent less time together, but he still considered me as his best friend, telling me about his problems with Maria, the fact that their relationship was getting worse and worse. At some point, after she came back, Maria decided to accept a job in Washington, taking Zara with her, crushing Nick completely and once again, I was here to pick up the pieces. Not long after they left, Nick saw a former girlfriend of his again, Cynthia, and he learned he had a son with her. Once again, I was here when she assigned him for child support. I spent a lot of time with his, but he also seemed to enjoy Amandaâs company a lot, spending time at hers or being his partner, letting me work with Fin or Liv. I gradually became jealous of Amanda who was allowed to spend time with the man I was in love with instead of me. Of course, I couldnât spend my time to mope around Nick and the fact that he didnât look at me the way I did, I had a few hooks up, but nothing really serious, my mind being focused on that man I saw almost every day.
 Then at some point after a huge disagreement with Olivia and Captain Cragen, Nick left SVU to work as an officer in Queens. Thatâs when Dominick âyou can call me Sonnyâ Carisi came along. At first, I didnât really know what to think about him, but quickly, even if he had a bad start with the squad, Sonny proved that he was an amazing detective and a kind human being. When Nick came back, Sonny stayed with us when he was supposed to be here temporary. With time, I suspected that the blond detective had a crush on Amanda, just like Nick. And months passed till we reached last yearâs Christmas party. Alcohol, a lot of alcohol and no inhibition in a dress that hugged all my curves, I was decided to tell Nick about my feelings, being tipsy helping a lot.
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âHey Nicky, can I tell you something ?â, I ask, not really giving him the choice of following me, grabbing his hand, and pulling him after me.
âWhere are you taking me Y/N ?â, he laughed behind me, probably as drunk as I was, while I dragged him in the elevator to go to another floor.
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Once the doors opened to a dark corridor, I took him with me out of the elevator, as far as we can go to be out of sight. When Iâm sure that no one will come around, I pressed Nick to the wall.
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âIs that okay with you ?â, I ask, the detective overriding the lust. We spend our time to say to the victims that consent is important, and Iâll not contravene the rule with my coworker, even if Iâm tipsy.
âMore than okayâ, he answered.
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His consent is all I was waiting for to crash my lips on his, in a feverish kiss. He returns it, equally passionate as mine. I donât know if from his side itâs because of the alcohol or if he liked me the way I liked him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his hands were travelling on the sides of my body. Suddenly, he flipped me and my back, is on the wall. He pinned me to the wall, deepening the kiss, one of his legs between mine. He took my hands of his neck to pin them on the wall, intertwining his fingers in mine, before letting one of my hands go to push up my dress. His fingers grazed my thigh, sending goosebumps on my skin. Finally, what Iâve been waiting for since the moment Iâve met Nicolas Amaro was going to happen. His fingers went up and his hands brushed my underwear, making me moan against his mouth.
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âNick, pleaseâ, I begged between pants, my free hand grabbing his to slide it in my panties.
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Nick didnât need to be asked twice to start touching me and I moaned louder, happy that no one was around to hear it, too lost in the pleasure his fingers were giving me to stay quiet. In no time at all, Nick managed to make me cum on his fingers. If it was a taste of what was to come, I wanted more and immediately. I started to fumble with Nickâs belt while he was sucking his fingers, I didnât even had time to push down his pants, that he was already pushing my panties aside.
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âDonât worry, Iâm cleanâ, I said, âI havenât had sex with anyone in a while and always protected and I get test often.â
âThatâs okay, I have thisâ, he took a condom out of his back pocket, smirking as if he knew he was going to use it tonight.
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He removed the foil and unfolded the condom to put it on his dick before entering me in one swift movement. I slipped my arms under his armpits, my nails digging in his shirt like claws as he was stretching me. After two or three minutes, Nick started to move, thrusting in and out of me, my orgasm building with each thrust. The only noise in that empty and dark floor are mine and Nickâs moans and groans and the sound of slapping skin.
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âNick, I donât think Iâll last longerâ, I warned him.
âLet go Y/N, let goâ, he answered, sneaking his hand between my legs, before he started to draw circles on my clit.
âOh, fuck, Nickyâ, I moaned in his ear. âI⊠I love you.â
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My hands gripped the back of his shoulders harder while my pussy tightened around his cock. I could feel that he was close too. His thrust became sloppy while my release was hitting me, and I felt his coming right after mine. He stopped, still buried in me, and brought back his lips to mine in a soft kiss.
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âI suggest that we both put our clothes back on and continue this at my home, what do you think ?â
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I didnât answer, I just nodded, still engulfed in my post orgasmic bliss. Nick pulled out and I adjusted my panties to their first place, and he put his pants back. Before going back upstairs to gather our belongings, I go to the bathroom. When I look at myself in the mirror, not only I see a blissful expression, but also that my hair is messy, and my lipstick and mascara leaked. I bite my lower lip, wondering if someone saw us leaving or noticed our absence. When weâre finally decent again, Nick took my hand, and we went back upstairs. The cab drive we took seemed to last forever, the hardest part being trying not to jump at each other and have sex right there on the backseat. We spent the rest of the night in bed, pleasuring each other, but in the morning, everything had changed. I gathered my things from the bedroom floor, Nick long gone from the cold bed. The air was thick, and I could feel that something was off, I just didnât know what. I slipped my dress on and exited the bedroom, to find Nick in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, a mug of coffee in his hand.
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âGood morningâ, I smiled, trying to be as cheerful as I could be despite the tension in the air.
âGood morningâ, he answered, not even looking at me, focusing on the kitchen floor. âI made you a coffee and thereâs cookies on the table.â
âI⊠I donât drink coffee Nick, and you know it.â
âNo, I didnât knowâ, he responded.
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Yes, he knew it, he never saw me drink coffee once since the moment I pushed the doors of the precinct. He didnât even care about me or notice a thing concerning me.
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âI have orange juice.â
âSame thing, I donât like oranges.â
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He sighed and poured water in a mug that he put in the microwave and took a tea bag and sugar from a cupboard. One minute later, he handed me the tepid mug.
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âThanksâ, I said, taking it and sitting at the table.
âYou should go after you finish your breakfastâ, Nick said, looking down his mug full of black coffee.
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I almost chocked on the cookie I was eating. He was literally throwing me out of his apartment. We spent the night together and he was getting rid of me. I told him I loved him, and he was kicking me out. Realization hit me at that moment, he never said he loved me back, not at one moment while we were at it like rabbits.
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âYou donât love me Nick, do you ?â, I questioned, looking at the wall in front of me, instead of looking at him.
âNot the way you want me to love you, Y/NâŠâ, he sighed. âI still love Maria and I want to win her back. Last night meant nothing, I just needed to let off a little steam.â
âSo, you just used meâ, I stated calmly. âYou just used me, you knew I was in love with you and you used me to âlet off a little steamââ, I roared, letting my anger fill the whole room, getting up from the chair I was sitting on, almost spilling my tea on the table. âDonât worry Nicolas, Iâm leaving.â
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Not even finishing my breakfast, I grabbed my coat and purse and went out of the flat, calling a cab when I reach the hallway. I know that it could seem silly, but I spent my day crying in bed, after a long and hot shower trying to erase all traces of Nick from my body.
 When I came back at the precinct the Monday morning, I went straight to Oliviaâs office to ask her if I could change of partner. She didnât ask why and said I could work with Fin or Sonny, and Amanda would work with Nick. I said that both were fine, I didnât care, I just didnât want to work with Nick anymore. If no one noticed that there was tension between Nick and me or didnât really care, Sonny did. He saw that something was wrong, but instead of asking if I needed something or wanted to talk about, Sonny brought me teas and pastries every morning, without me asking about anything. He brought things, always bringing things I loved, and still love though, he took care of me while I was asking for nothing. Time and Sonny helping, I told him what happened with Nick, one night during a surveillance mission. The tall blond didnât say a thing, he just listened to me, looking at me with those big blue eyes of his, and it helped a lot. The more I told Sonny about Nick and what happened, the more I realized that the idea I had of him or of being in love with him was false. All those confessions and time together made me getting closer to Sonny, who became my best friend and confident. I felt good with him and everything felt so natural with Sonny, easier. Not long after, Nick got shot, all the team supported him, but he chose to retire early, staying in New York, distancing himself from us.
 With Nick away, I allowed myself to fall for someone else, that someone else being Sonny. Sonny always around, Sonny bringing me breakfast every morning, Sonny being there to comfort me when cases were too hard, Sonny just being Sonny. Six months ago, when we were coming back from a questioning, he asked me out, I was surprised, I didnât expect this, but I said yes, because I had everything to win. Then first date led to a second, second to a third and that third date, to a first kiss. Sonny dropped me in front of my door, and we kissed. This was natural, like it was meant to be at that given moment. First night with him, not long after felt right and in the morning I had the pleasant surprise to find him with a tray and breakfast in bed, not in a hurry for me to leave, that made me fall even more if it was possible. We decided to keep our relationship secret for a little while. I knew that even the squad didnât say, they probably knew what happened between Nick and I. Waking up in Sonnyâs arms almost every morning is probably one of the best things that happened to me. Who would have thought that I would forget a Cuban detective in the arms of an Italian one ? Not me, and certainly not when I met Sonny the first time.
 A long arm snakes around my waist, a firm chest is pressed on my back and a kiss on the top of my head makes me snap back to reality.
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âWhatâs going on in that pretty little head of yours, leaning there and looking through the window ?â, he asks with his thick Staten Island accent.
âNothing, I was just thinking about the past year.â
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He moves in front of me, looking down at my face.
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âDid anyone see you doing this ?â, I ask.
âWhat kissing my amazing girlfriend ? Nah, theyâre all too busy catching up with Nickâ, he shakes his head, smiling. âAre you sure that you want to do that ?â, he questions.
âYes, I amâ, I sigh. âI need to do this, I need closure and I need everyone to know that Iâm in love with the most amazing man of all New York. I donât want to keep it a secret anymore. I love you and I want everyone here to knowâ, I add, pecking his lips quickly.
âFor the record, know that I love you tooâ, he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips for a quick kiss, intertwining his fingers with mine when he puts my hand down.
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I donât think anyone noticed Sonny and me in our little corner, theyâre all too engulfed in their own conversations to notice two detectives in love standing by the window. I love to lose myself in his beautiful blue eyes, I could spend my time to look at him. Falling in love with Sonny was so unexpected at the beginning, but so natural and so right.
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âExcuse me, everyoneâ, a man taps on a microphone, and the crowd turns to the stage at the bottom of the room. âSorry to disturb your conversations, but itâs time for our Christmas karaoke, and the first person I have on my list is detective Y/N Y/L/N.â
âBring the squad to the stage, I need the two of you to be right in my sightâ, I say turning to Sonny, who takes my empty cup from my hands and just nods.
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I take a deep breath, Sonny squeezes my hand and goes to our squad, motioning towards the stage to make them move in front of it, while I make my way to the end of the room. When I reach the stairs, I can see them all exactly at the first row of the stage, Sonny and Nick in the middle. Sonny gives me a quick and discreet smile when I take the microphone in my hand.
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âGood eveningâ, I say in the microphone. âIâm Y/N, from SVU. And tonight, Iâll sing you a song that I want to dedicate to two men who are in that room.â
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I clear my throat when the first notes of the song resonate in the room, looking at Nick when the first words come out of my mouth.
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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
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Liv, Amanda, Fin and Rafael noticed because they all looked at each other and then at Nick, only Sonnyâs eyes donât leave me. The whole room sings along with me when the next chorus comes around. Singing Last Christmas is really relieving, even if I kinda expose my personal life in front of the precinct. I was a little tense when I started to sing but the more the music passes the more Iâm relaxed, not looking away from Sonny, smiling more while singing.
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Now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
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Singing this phrase, I look at Sonny, a huge grin of his face matches mine. And this time, Liv, Amanda, Fin, Rafael, and Nick look at Sonny, mouth agape, their gazes travelling from him to me and vice versa. I knew this would be unexpected for all of them, but Iâm happy that now everyone knows. Well, Iâm less happy to know that Iâll have to let our superiors know about this. When I finish the song, the whole room is quiet, their gazes fixed on me for some, and on Sonny and Nick for the others. I go down the stage, helped by Sonny who grabs me by the waist and puts me down on the floor, his eyes staring into mine. Our all group moves a little well away from the crowd, while someone else goes on stage.
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âSo, the two of youâ, Liv states, looking at us, after Sonny places himself behind me and puts his arms around me. âBut also, the two of youâ, she adds, pointing at Nick and me.
âDonât worry, Nick and I were never involved the same way Iâm with Sonny.â
âIn which way were Nick and you involved if itâs not the same way youâre involved with Sonny ?â, Amanda questions.
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I give her a meaningful look and she understands.
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âI think we will all need a little drink to process all of thisâ, Rafael walks towards the buffet with Fin, Liv, and Amanda, leaving Sonny, Nick, and I to discuss.
âBy the way Y/N, I wanted to apologizeâ, Nick starts. âI wanted to apologize about the way I treated you. I treated you really bad, like shit even. You just wanted me to love you, you loved me, and I acted like a jerk. Please forgive me. And I can see that you are happy with Carisi. Just the way you look at him and the way he looks at you, I can tell that there is something you would never had have with me.â
âThanks Nickâ, I say, âand I forgive you, I had time to think and to look back. Of course, you broke my heart, but I gained something betterâ, I add, settling a little more in Sonnyâs embrace.
âFriends again ?â, he asks.
âFriends againâ, I respond.
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I leave Sonnyâs grip to hug Nick.
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âI can see that two persons here just reconciledâ, Liv says, coming back to us when I pull away from Nick and go back next to Sonny, who puts his arm around my shoulder.
âLetâs raise our glassesâ, Rafael states, giving a cup to Sonny, while Amanda hands me one. âTo friendship, love, forgiveness and the holidays. Cheers.â
âCheersâ, we all repeat, raising our glasses and drinking.
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Sonny looks down at me, adoration in his eyes and leans down to kiss me, under the cheers of our friends. I really gave my heart to someone special this year and found a real love, probably for the rest of my life.
Summary :Â When his daughter has a nightmare, Sam doesnât hesitate to sing her the lullaby her mommy used to sing to her.
Pairing : Sam Wilson x OC daughter
Warnings : Nightmare, mention of an accident and death
Word Count :Â 957
Square Filled : @star-spangled-bingo : Nightmare
Authorâs note :Â My first Sam story !!! Letâs hope that itâll be the beginning of many others ! And maybe some other stories with Saskia :)Â Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
I have three more SVU stories planned at the moment for two bingos.
The three of them will fill squares for @thatesqcrushâs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice :Â
Holiday party, past Nick x reader with a flashback at the beginning, Sonny x reader
Fake relationship when visiting family (say thank you to the Christmas movie I watched last night đđđ), Sonny x reader
Free square, which will be coupled with the Cinderella square from @sweetcannolicarisiâs Disney Bingo Sonny x reader, and reader in this story is Jack McCoyâs daughter
I donât know which one Iâll write first, but when I finished those three, Iâll start part 2 of 17 years.
Summary :Â Sonny, Y/N and Stella are decorating the Christmas tree.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader
Warnings : None, itâs just pure fluff.
Word Count :Â 1 857
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushââs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the squares tree lighting and decorating. Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title :Â Blue Christmas - Kelly Clarkson
I have three more SVU stories planned at the moment for two bingos.
The three of them will fill squares for @thatesqcrushâs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice :Â
Holiday party, past Nick x reader with a flashback at the beginning, Sonny x reader
Fake relationship when visiting family (say thank you to the Christmas movie I watched last night đđđ), Sonny x reader
Free square, which will be coupled with the Cinderella square from @sweetcannolicarisiâs Disney Bingo Sonny x reader, and reader in this story is Jack McCoyâs daughter
I donât know which one Iâll write first, but when I finished those three, Iâll start part 2 of 17 years.
Summary :Â Sonny, Y/N and Stella are decorating the Christmas tree.
Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader
Warnings : None, itâs just pure fluff.
Word Count :Â 1 857
Authorâs note : Written for @thatesqcrushââs Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the squares tree lighting and decorating. Donât forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title :Â Blue Christmas - Kelly Clarkson
There will be more of Sonny, Y/N & Stella, I planned something similar to one of my Marvel series with that adorable little family and I canât wait to share it !