My Mind @writingforthe-hell-ofit - Tumblr Blog

"There's no pretty way of putting it...

I just want to die."

- A look inside my head

#depression #writingforthe-hell-ofit #my writing #this is my depression #suicidal #hurting #mental illness #invisible illness #depressed #depressing writing #like #reblog #tw #trigger warning #yeah its been awhile

I'm not as sad as I once was but I'm sure as hell not as happy as I could be

A look inside my head (this is my depression)

I didn't even see it coming

A look inside my head (6 word story about you)

#a look inside my head #6 word story #spilled ink #my writing #writing #heart break #couples #broken heart #love #lost #I love you #I miss you #what happened #writer's blog #like #reblog #six word story #six word poem #six words about you

You went from "I'll be home soon" to ignoring me real quick

A look inside my head

#spilled ink #my thoughts #a look inside my head #you #heart break #broken-hearted #spilled thoughts #writing #writer's blog #love #like #couples #quote #mine #my writing #break up #unrequited love

It's okay, I don't love me either.

A look inside my head (but I do love you)

#a look inside my head #writing #my writing #unrequited love #hurts #I love you #depression #sadness #broken heart #goodbye #reblog #like #writer's blog

And once again I’ve fallen too hard, too fast.

Hi it’s been a while (a look inside my head)

I told you I loved you more

It's been 8 months and I still hurt

#I loved you more #I told you #I love you #break up #broken heart #writing #my writing #8 months #what the fuck am I doing with my life #still single #hurting #fucking you #I won #reblog #likes

Dear you... I hate you. But what fucking kills me; is that I love you so much more than I hate you.

A look inside my head (6 months down the road and I still miss you)

A broken heart is not crying Alone to sad songs It's feeling everything at once Watching the memories flash before your eyes Being too numb to cry Being heartbroken is not eating ice cream And watching chick flicks with your bestie It's sitting alone silently staring at the wall Smoking a pack of cigarettes without even realizing Having a broken heart Is numbing and electrifying It steals your hope And gives you hate Having a broken heart Is not like they say it is in the movies It's not sitting off to the side when out with friends It's sitting at home wishing for your own death

A look inside my head (my heart break)

"You reminded me how to breathe Inhale through the nose Hold it for ten seconds Exhale through the mouth So when you left I couldn't breathe anymore Inhale or is it exhale first In through the nose? No through the mouth... No I'm pretty sure it's out through the mouth... Hell I don't know You reminded me that the depression wasn't all of me My hands more than holders of blades But also holders of pens and your face No my ribs aren't actually breaking There's nothing, no monster, trying to break free Not at all worthless and useless Worth the breath I draw But now you're gone and who will say those words? Shaking hands blooded and bruised What was that about holding hands? Or was it faces... No it was pens... Or maybe it was blades Wait I thought there was no monster trying to break free? But I can feel my ribs breaking There's sadness leaking out Oh god it's the depression The monster of my death It's in my head again You reminded me that I was more than his one night stand People are talking? Let them it was just sex He's just a blimp on my screen Someone better will come along God I wanted it to be you You're gone It wasn't just sex There was emotion More than lust Longing We kissed It set my lips on fire Took the breath from my lungs It was love Oh shit wait... That was just me He just wanted another notch on his belt Fuck you were right You reminded me that crazy wasn't written across my forehead Anxiety does not define me The people who really love me Will still love me even if I don't talk to them everyday There's nothing wrong with being an introvert Being social is overrated Be a book worm and enjoy the escape from reality Where are you now though? Running off with a girl who thrives in groups The anxiety is taking over What even is breathing? What is it like to walk into a room and not be terrified? People are looking... Are you sure crazy isn't on my forehead? I swear it might be... You reminded me daily that you loved me And also said that I should love myself But how could I? Oh that's right bc I was one of a kind The good, understanding friend But still loving myself was not an option I'll love you enough for the both of us You told me Because you knew that me loving myself wasn't a possibility But holy fuck did I ever love you Why don't you still love me? You told me always You said for as long as it took But you're not here Trust me, I've looked... Under my bed? Haha no, there's no way you'd fit under there Maybe in my closet But no surely you would have come out by now I know bad coming out joke But bare with me I'm losing my mind Over losing you "

A Look Inside My Head (A letter to an old flame)