writingtorelieve,

I made this blog because I noticed it's easier to vent to people I don't know rather than to be judged by those I do. In addition to that, I made this blog for anyone else to anonymously submit stresses that have been bothering them. Due to the things I will post, they may or may not generate hate. Please don't do that to me.

[writingtorelieve]

Goals,

To make a few friends who I can depend on and who can depend on me. To find a special person out there who understands my confession and who is willing to help me do better. To be able to help that special person. To be healthier and exercise. To read more and to enjoy life more. To pray and hope I get over this stage ASAP.

[writingtorelieve]

A few years ago,

I always (and still) continually go on online websites (omegle, tumblr) in order to meet people and hopefully find friends. I met a girl who told me she’d be my friend if I faked and pretended to be someone else. I thought it was fine because I thought it wouldn’t lead to anything serious nor did I believe the person she wanted me to pretend to be someone else to was someone I would actually enjoy. I should have known better but I didn’t. Down the road, that girl and I hurt someone she was lustfully aiming for and someone I in turn actually ended up liking. This ended up messing me up internally. I lost sight of who I was, I faked someone else to be friends with a girl who only used me because I knew that boy would hate me when I told him the truth (which I did about three years later) and now I’m at where I’m at.

Truth be told, however, I did like that boy. He was the most enlightened boy and I liked him. But he would never been someone to have loved me and that’s what broke me. When I told him the truth, I begged for the girl who convinced me to catfish someone to tell him the truth because I was still searching for who the girl I was faking was. But it didn’t happen and she managed to get her phone disconnected and stopped responding to my emails. I also gave her personal information just because I wanted her to trust me. Later did I find out she used my personal email (a gmail account) to create multiple other Facebook identities but deleted the emails Facebook sent to me so I had no idea this was all being done until I wanted to create a Facebook for myself and couldn’t because it was connected to a different name.

I hate myself for it everyday and I apologize deeply for my actions. But now I’m much too scared to talk to those people again and I can’t apologize because there are some things that just can’t be done any further to avoid any more conflict than there already is. Though I individually apologized to the guy I catfished and the girl I pretended to be.

Now I’m back to where I began. Alone with no friends, depressed, and I don’t know how to atone for my sins anymore.

That is my statement of purpose for this blog. Poorly written but it is my purpose. For those who need to talk about their problems or to write confessions and to receive anonymous ears to listen to your troubled minds, I have got you all.

[writingtorelieve]

An introduction to my blog,

January 23, 2015

Hi everyone, 

I don't know how much publicity my blog will make overtime or if it will get anywhere or benefit anyone, but it would be great if it did.  A few years ago, I made one of the worst decisions of my life, damaged a few lives, lost someone I cared deeply for, and now that I'm trying to make up for it, I've lost all my opportunities to talk to that person and those people again.  My next post will be about that.  With those things said, I have a lot of baggage and I live in constant stress and unhappiness.  

So, I made this blog for myself to vent and talk because I like the anonymity this website provides and I've seen the connections this place made for other people.  I hope through this I meet people with similar experiences and/or I provide a safe environment for people to talk about what's bothering them in general.  Being someone who always needed comfort and someone to listen to me and never really got those things, I want to be a person who is able to provide those things for other people.  

My ask box (anonymous or not) is open for conversation and my submit is open for submissions.  This blog is supposed to be a safe place for people to talk or a place for "writingtorelieve" whatever is going on in their minds.