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i dont think u love me but i could be wrong.

nervous.

Laying next to u as I write this. Your hands holding my waist as I type this. This is not love, yet; but I like this. Keeping this PG cause u might hear this later. But I don’t want to fail to mention how u fit inside of me like a key. Like I was molded for u and so were u, for me. I wanna write your name in the back of a book like I’m 16 & still a kid. U asked me if we could try again and Im glad that we did.

#written.

Table for two?

the extras.

even when you’re not around, we find ways into connection. I still feel close to u even when we’re not texting. no paragraphs to rehearse. no sexting. no love bombing. no extras. no stressing. u arrived at a time in my life where there were some really hard lessons. ones making me better for u. I feel settled with u, didn’t settle for u. but I’m settled with u. plus, sex just feels better with u. there’s no better than u. im getting off track- hold.

even when you’re away, we find ways to feel connected. the stillness in connection. im finding passion with u. my hearts protected. my phone just vibrated. let me check it. u must know im thinking of u, cause there’s your message.

#written.

date night

clingy!

u don’t know it, but u bring me a sense of security. security in that we don’t know what this is yet. this is easy in a way it’s never been, yes. on a scale of anxious to calm id give it a 10, bet. you’re soft spoken, u let me interpret things the way i need to. I used to be clingy, but with u id never need to. what u say is what u mean, its like you’re see through. and u don’t say much. I don’t have to stay up, hoping, cause u don’t ever make me wait up. u don’t use words to fill space. and we don’t argue, so we never have to make up. u don’t know it yet, but you’ve offered me something different. before I used to think I was clingy, now I know I was tripping.

#written.

7pm in Boston.

youngrichnflashy

Sex has always been a healing act for me. So I can’t just have sex because someone gives me attention, or thinks I’m pretty or something. I have to basically be in love. Or at least feel “love” on some level. Otherwise, sex is just not something I’m interested in.

#me #written.#archived.

he’s my [control] freak. he don’t like nobody, he can’t see me with nobody.

#written.

really don’t have to care about being perfect.🎀

#Sacha’s mix

tried again/april 2025.

baby asked if we could try again. i left u quickly, never said goodbye and then, you sent a text. i just hope that u don’t slide again. cause i wont let it slide again. it’s been a few months, this time id like to actually let you slide it in. hold-

kinda glad i never said much to you after the incident. let the dust settle. said i wouldnt trip again. we’re both single now; it’s no coincidence. i remember sitting at the bar with u, u asked for a kiss and then, i kissed u on your neck and it was lit again.

making out at bar, with tons of ppl around, that shit was different. then after that night it was distancing. it was just me and u in the room. hope it’s better with us this time; i hope it’s different.

baby asked if we could try again. and im on my way to u now.

#Saul’s mix #written.

changes.

Orienting toward the pain instead of running from it. You refused to do this with me. You oriented toward someone else immediately. Forgiveness for me, from me; but not quite from you to me. If we kept dancing, you wouldn’t have to go.

unfocused.

you said u moved on and u hoped that I noticed. I was already jaded, and u further disrupted my focus. rearranged the contents of my heart, pieces of my heart that you’ve stolen. putting pen to pad here, because there’s not a soul whom I’ve told this. but you can see my eyes water and I’m unable focus. the weight of the words you said, things undone, the burden of this, you totally left me to hold it. it’s weighing me down, taking its toll. making it so damn hard to focus.

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