to be written,

indie Buddy Wittenborn from Evening (2007). loved by Shane.

[writtenlove]

𝑾 𝑹 𝑰 𝑻 𝑻 𝑬 𝑵 𝑳 𝑶 𝑽 𝑬 : // an independent portrayal of Buddy Wittenborn from Evening (2007), removed from canon and placed in a fandomless arena. Buddy has been reconstructed to fit into any fandom and any genre by removing him from the narrative he was created in. this portrayal doesn't follow the events of Evening and has taken Buddy into their own hands to treat him the way he deserves to be treated- with love. viewer discretion may still be advised as this portrayal deals with depression, anxiety, internalized homophobia, and the usage of alcohol and drugs. please be mindful of this when following.

written & loved by Shane. mun is 29; muse is 22+. minors dni. any pronouns. located in mst.

navigation: rules. about. blog roll: burninq, chosesun, cunninglamb, fangeance, manuscr1pt, settinqsuns, telepaethy

[writtenlove]

i am still ill, my birthday is in... 6 days and i've got killer cramps. let's just say this is not looking good for a positive start to my birthday week.

[writtenlove]

at some point i will feel better and do replies. <3

[writtenlove]

𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐧. 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥.

an independent portrayal of Buddy Wittenborn from Evening (2007). fandomless portrayal & headcanon based. mun & muse are over the age of 21 and require you to be at least 20 years old in order to interact. no minors allowed. mature themes will be present. viewer discretion is advised. written & cherished by Shane. any pronouns. located in mst.

[writtenlove]

taxes have been filed. i'm about to leave for work so i apologize for not doing anything again but taxes had to get done first. i'll be around tonight if i'm not too sick lmao

[writtenlove]

good news. i'm here. bad news is i'm sick.

[writtenlove]

me: tries to file my taxes the website: doesn't fucking work

[talesofkhaos]

@writtenlove

Harris was perplexed by the abundance of flowers scattered throughout Buddy's home. He couldn't understand the need for such a floral display and wondered if there was a special occasion or reason behind it. The sheer volume of blooms seemed excessive, and he was eager to find out the story behind them. Harris had just returned from his medical school internship, eager to resume his work with Buddy's family. As a doctor, he was accustomed to practicality and order, which made the floral extravagance even more puzzling. It turned out that Buddy's sister was getting married, and the flowers were simply samples for the upcoming celebration. Upon learning the reason, Harris chuckled and felt relief, realizing there was indeed a logical explanation for the floral excess. With a teasing smile, he turned to Buddy and asked, "So when are you planning to settle down and have your own flower-filled wedding?" Harris couldn't resist the opportunity to poke fun at Buddy, knowing how much he enjoyed getting a rise out of him. "You know, with all these flowers, you might as well practice for your own big day," he teased.

[writtenlove]

Buddy was excited for Harris to be back. it’s been a while since he’s seen him and although he’s back at a rather opportune time for the upcoming wedding, Buddy was eager to spend time with him. he knew Lila would be excited to know that Harris is back, too, but he decided to keep this secret to himself- for just a little while. he looks at Harris as he speaks, his eyebrow raised delicately as a smile is pulled across his face. “Lila can’t decide which flower arrangement she likes best, so she had them bring all of them to test them out. i don’t know what they’re going to do with the ones they decide against.” he rolls his eyes at the question, feeling his cheeks warm at the prospect of marrying someone. it’s not that he hasn’t thought about it, but he looks away from Harris and then back again- unable to settle the butterflies swirling in his stomach. there’s only one person he wants to marry, but he doesn’t think his parents would be too keen on it. he might even give his mother a heart attack if he told her who he’d like to greet at the altar. she’s a sensitive soul- he doesn’t think her poor heart could take it, knowing her only son wanted to marry another man. he doesn’t say any of this as he smiles, leaning back on his heels. “don’t be giving my mother any ideas now. Lila’s already adamant on pairing everyone up; i don’t need my mother trying to marry me off, too.” he looks down at his hands as if he’s found something really interesting, not wanting to look Harris in the eye as he continues, “and besides, i don’t think anyone could handle marrying me. can you imagine what that would be like?”

[writtenlove]

❝ it never mattered to me like, what form people came in. i love souls, the body is just kinda like pretty packaging. it’s nice but it’s not what’s important to me. ❞

Buddy understands where she’s coming from, though he himself hasn’t had the luxury of that experience. his attraction is limited and unfortunately for Buddy, it’s not on the side his parents would prefer. however, he does understand in such a degree that the one person he’s ever had feelings for, he didn’t fall in love with him because he was attractive- that was just an added bonus. for Buddy, it was everything about Harris that made him fall in love with him. it didn’t really have much to do with his looks at all; Harris had been his best friend and those feelings just evolved from friendship to something more; evolved to the point where he almost missed it had he not been paying attention.

Buddy doesn’t fall in love very easily. in fact, Harris was the only person he was certain he truly had feelings for. he tried to like Ann- she was his sister’s best friend and she was beautiful, and she was kind, and his parents liked her enough that it would have been okay, but it just didn’t happen that way for Buddy. even if he tried to make it work, his feelings never would have been genuine. it’s a complicated thing; falling in love with the right person at the wrong time. Buddy’s parents would never approve of Harris and not only because he was a servant’s son, but because he was a man and for Buddy, falling in love with a man just wasn’t a possibility. not unless he wanted to be stripped of everything he had and lose everyone that ever mattered to him. it’s not that he needs the money or that he should care about people who don’t care about him, but this is his entire life. he doesn’t think he could handle being shunned.

falling in love was the easy part, really. you never know who you’re going to fall in love with and it’s like its own little adventure- something he desperately wants more than anything. it’s just everything else that makes the whole thing complicated. he wishes he could say he didn’t care about someone’s gender or what their sexuality is- he can hardly determine his own. it would be easier if he could just fall in love with a beautiful girl, get married, and have 2.5 kids. instead, he’s stuck in this limbo of trying to figure himself out without being a disappointment to his entire family. he’s already struggling in that department; he doesn’t need to make it worse. “what do you look for in a partner?” he asks, taking a sip of his drink. as much as he wants to chug the whole thing, he paces himself and gives Alena his undivided attention. here, he feels safe enough to tiptoe into the unknown waters. at least here he won’t feel weighed down by his parents’ idea of him. he can just be himself. “if their looks aren’t the first thing you notice, what is?” for Buddy, it’s their sense of humor- the way someone can make him laugh. and their kindness, too. someone who doesn’t judge and who will love him regardless of his flaws. someone who makes him want to be better. he doesn’t think it’s an impossible feat, but maybe he’s asking too much. he always seems to be asking too much.

@sacredpyre

[writtenlove]

it would be nice if i clicked into my followers, it actually showed my followers.

[writtenlove]

❝ people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it. i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen. ❞

Buddy tries to be someone for everyone. he’s got a big heart- there’s enough love in him to go around, but boy, it can be draining sometimes, especially when that love is seldom returned. he loves so much and gives so much, but it has left him feeling tattered and broken beyond repair and no one ever seems to notice. it’s a sad fact of life, he supposes. when you give so much of yourself away, it’s to be expected- no one ever seems to expect you to need something back. Lila is always eager to give him something back, but even his sister sometimes fails to notice just how fallen into disrepair he’s gotten. he never feels seen. his parents don’t see him, his two best friends . . . they don’t seem to see him, and even his sister seems to miss out on the important details sometimes. it’s exhausting to always be there for everyone else, but feeling so alone at the end of the day. Ann and Harris take care of him sometimes, but he feels more like a burden than anything else. he doesn’t feel seen, so to speak. he just feels like too much.

so, yes, he understands where Alena is coming from. he understands the brutality of not being seen, of not being heard when you do so much for everyone else. it feels good in the moment- to be that person for everyone else, but as soon as the doors close and you’re left alone again, it all sort of crashes down around you and you’re left wondering where you went wrong. Buddy hates it. he hates feeling so vulnerable and overwhelmed, with no one to understand. he just wants someone to understand. he doesn’t think he’s asking for much.

he looks at her and slides her a glass of wine. then, he’s taking a sip of his own, careful not to chug the entire glass this time. “when you give yourself away so freely, i guess it makes sense that no one wants to believe you’re anything but perfect. you have to be perfect, right ?? i mean, if you’re giving so much to someone else, that means you don’t need anything back. at least, that’s what they must think. no one wants to see the truth. they’d rather wear rose tinted glasses than to believe you could use some love, too. it’s unfair, isn’t it ?? you see everyone around you, but who sees you?”

@sacredpyre

[writtenlove]

he's so cute ur honor

[writtenlove]

❝ it never mattered to me like, what form people came in. i love souls, the body is just kinda like pretty packaging. it’s nice but it’s not what’s important to me. ❞

for Buddy, things are complicated . . . and slightly complex. he always admired Sophia’s ability to know what she wants and who she wants- even if they’re not good for her. for him, it was more complicated than that. growing up, it was very clear to him what was okay and what wasn’t and having any attraction towards men wasn’t okay. his parents weren’t about that lifestyle. in fact, Buddy had a gay uncle who was vehemently disowned because he was gay. Buddy never knew him, but based on what he’s learned from social media, his uncle is married with two dogs and two kids that he and his husband adopted. according to social media, they were happy, even if they no longer had the kind of luxury he was used to. and while Buddy knew that he could easily do the same thing as his uncle, there’s a fear in him- of losing everything he’s ever known just because he fell in love with a man instead of a woman. it’s terrifying. he thinks maybe his family knows, on some level, but they’re hoping he’ll still marry a woman and keep from shaming his family anyways.

and okay, he tried that, he really did. he tried to love Ann the way he was supposed to, even fooled himself into thinking he did, but she wasn’t interested in him and even if she was, he doesn’t think he could stomach the shame of lying for the rest of his life. to pretend to be happy. but maybe that’s just what he needed to do in order to survive and in order to keep his family. he doesn’t think he could handle losing his sister or his mother forever, just because he likes men. he can pretend, can’t he ?? maybe he’ll find a nice girl somewhere and settle down and have two kids and just pretend. he already pretends enough as it is- what’s one more lie ??

he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, frustrated with himself for not knowing what he wants. no- that’s not true, he knows what he wants, but he’s just not brave enough to go for it. he’s stuck in limbo. “i wish it was that simple for me,” he says, pouring himself a glass of wine. he drinks far too much, but it helps calm his nerves- makes him braver than he feels. he takes a drink before turning towards Sophia with a forced smile on his face. “if i were to marry anyone other than a rich girl, i think i’d be disowned. my family barely likes Ann as it is and she’s my sister’s best friend. they might tolerate her if i were to marry her, but they wouldn’t like it. and if i married a man ?? oh boy. forget it. i’d never see my sister again and not because she hates gay men- Lila is more progressive than my parents, but she’d be forbidden to speak to me, even though she’s an adult. it’s either listen to the parents or lose the chance at getting any of their money when they die. it’s unfair.” his mother, he thinks, would be faster to accept him than his father would, if they knew the truth, but there’s always the chance of losing everything and for Buddy, that just isn’t an option right now. he really is just stuck.

@starsbuilt

[writtenlove]

i am absolutely obsessed with 102 dalmatians and i even have a tattoo of the 3 puppies from it and i literally just spent $100 on overalls and a fleece jacket from the early 2000's just because they have them on it. it's hard to find stuff sometimes since it's been a while since it came out and i just couldn't help myself.

[writtenlove]

❝ people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it. i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen. ❞

there’s something remarkably beautiful about being seen. their relationship has always allowed them to see one another as they truly are; a rare gift. of course being seen comes with its consequences and its problems- never are people fully what they seem and somehow you’re always bound to disappoint. fortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case between Sophia and Buddy. they’ve never once disappointed the other- an understanding grew between them at a young age. they’ve always been a little bit different, but that’s something they’ve been able to understand within each other. while many people may not understand -their parents included- they at least had each other to count on. even as they grew older, it became more and more clear that their friendship was of value. it was something special. Buddy has always seen Sophia; while others may have stolen a glance, he’s always face forward, staring into diamonds. he thinks she’s a rare beauty that seldom gets to see the light of day. while others may look at her and see something ordinary, Buddy sees something sparkling- something wonderous. he’s never really understood why no one else has seen her the way he sees her. he thinks she’s perfect.

“i see you,” he reminds her gently. “even when no one else does, i see you.” he knows that isn’t enough, but he tries to be. while he knows he can’t be her everything, he can be her something, and that may have to be enough for them for the time being. he thinks she’ll find her someone some day; someone who will see her and accept her and love her through everything, regardless of what may come, but for now, at least she has Buddy. she can always count on him to be there for her. even if it isn’t much, at least she has that.

@starsbuilt

[writtenlove]

❝ i can't even say he deceived me. i knew exactly what he was and i jumped in anyway. ❞

love is something Buddy considers to be of very high value. while he opens his heart and allows love to encompass him, he’s always been shy about the way he loves. he doesn’t want to push too far or be too much, and yet he always seems to be just that. Harris has never said anything about Buddy’s constant affection, and he never seems to be annoyed with him, but there’s this nervous tick inside Buddy’s brain that tells him that maybe he’s being a little too much. he has a tendency to drink when he thinks like this and allows the emotions to be washed away with alcohol. it’s a bad habit he knows he needs to break, but no one’s stopped him yet, so he assumes he’s okay. every time he comes home to visit, Harris is the first person he seeks out, and he’s usually always there. Buddy’s love is something special, or at least he’d like to think so- he gives it out to everyone he meets, but there’s a few select few that really get to see his love shine.

Sophia is one of those people that gets a special kind of love from Buddy. he’s known her basically his entire life- just as long as he’s known Harris, and that’s something special in its own right. he’s seen her grow up alongside him and it’s been a treat; even if their parents don’t understand them, they’ve always had an understanding in each other. Lila was his parents’ golden child- she was always doing things the right way, never seemed to get into trouble . . . despite her obvious love for Harris, she never did anything to upset their parents, and that included being with the servant boy. their parents never would have approved of Harris as a husband for Lila, even if he loved her back. part of Buddy was glad for that- the jealousy winding itself in his gut. he explained this feeling to Sophia before, not wanting to really delve into what it could mean, but knowing he needed someone to know how he felt. his parents wouldn’t be happy about it, especially not his father, but he doesn’t like to think about the disappointment. he takes another drink.

“that’s the thing about it, right ?? we don’t choose who we fall in love with, even if they’re the opposite of good for us. it’s fun while it lasts, yeah ?? i mean, the feeling of being wanted . . . it’s nice, even if it’s not how we picture it. you really don’t think he loves you?” love comes in all shapes and sizes; Buddy understands that, and his love for Sophia is large and ever-growing. he cares for her where it matters the most and he’ll always be a friend to her, even if their parents wished they’d be something more. neither of them could find that kind of love for one another, even if it would make things simple. sometimes you just have to follow your heart, even if it leads you astray. even if your parents don’t approve. sometimes the only happiness that matters is your own.

@starsbuilt

[leneemusing]

SEXUALITY AND GENDER IDENTITY THEMED PROMPTS FOR PRIDE

❝  i guess i always kinda knew?  it just wasn’t that important until i got older.  ❞

❝  it never mattered to me like,  what form people came in.  i love souls,  the body is just kinda like pretty packaging.  it’s nice but it’s not what’s important to me.  ❞

❝  oh yeah i did the whole ‘massive crush on my best friend’ thing.  wouldn’t recommend it.  ❞

❝  today my gender is kinda of ‘meeehh?’  ❞

❝  yeah of course i’m only into women,  have you seen them?  ❞

❝  i think i had a harder time accepting myself than my family ever did.  ❞

❝  i’m pretty sure everyone else knew i was gay before i ever realized it.   ❞

❝  i have a hard time talking about it,  even now—i’m not ashamed or anything like that.  i just,  don’t really know…how or what to say i guess.  ❞

❝  i think i’m ready to actually come out to them.  ❞

❝  i really want to tell them but i don’t wanna do it alone…could you help me with it?  ❞

❝  the ‘am i gay’ quizzes are a gateway drug.  ❞

❝  would you mind using [insert pronouns] for me now?  i’m trying to see how it feels.  ❞

❝  they’re right actually,  i’m gay and i do have an agenda to make everything gayer.  ❞

❝  ever since i told them i’m gay they keep pointing to every slightly attractive man and asking if he’s my type.  ❞

❝  me? no i don’t think i’m—i mean.  yeah sometimes i think about what it’d be like to kiss girls/guys but i’d never…come on,  everyone thinks about it a little bit right?  ❞

❝  at this point the closet is literally made of glass.  ❞

❝  actually,  i’m [insert identity].  ❞

❝  it’s all ‘i wish i was into women it’d be so much easier’ until you find out about the lesbian drama.  ❞

❝  i’m bisexual and confused.  not about being bi,  though.  just like…in general.  about life.  ❞

❝  i just need a nice bear to throw me around for a few hours,  i think it’d do more for me than therapy.  ❞

❝  i would trust any stone butch with my life.  ❞

❝  sappho would be so proud.  ❞

❝  i’m still figuring myself out.  i know i’m not straight,  that’s a start.  ❞

❝  i finally figured out my sexuality and then boom here comes a gender identity crisis.  ❞

❝  i’ve just…never really been interested in the whole sex thing.  ❞

❝  anyway,  if neither of us find our true loves in the next five to ten years,  wanna have a lavender marriage?  for the taxes.  ❞

❝   you wanna come to pride with me?  ❞

❝   this is my first pride actually,  i’m kinda nervous.  ❞

❝   well,  this seems as good a time as any to come out.  ❞

❝  no one can know about this—it’s just between us okay?  ❞

❝  i’d never tell anyone.  ❞

❝  you don’t owe anyone ‘coming out.’  it’s personal,  do things at your own pace.  only tell the people you want to.  ❞

❝  you’ve always made me feel safe so,  i just knew i could tell you about it.  ❞

❝  everyone’s hot and i’m a disaster who doesn’t know how to ask anyone out.  ❞

❝  i’m not sure i wanna fuck them or be them.  ❞

❝  i’m just experimenting i guess,  trying to figure out what i like.  ❞

❝  she said she didn’t see us working out but then she brought me a potted plant so i guess it’s still up in the air.  ❞

❝  i want to be one of those bold,  unapologetic people but i’m still just terrified.  ❞

❝  she’s so pretty i think i’m gonna die.  ❞

❝  oh,  no he’s got a great smile too.  i’m in deep this time.  ❞

❝  how did you know?   like for sure that you were into [gender]?  ❞

❝  do you mind if i ask you a question about being [identity]?  ❞

❝  thank you for trusting me with this.  ❞

❝  it’s okay,  take your time to put it into the right words.  i’m not going anywhere.  ❞

❝  wait,  you think i’m [identity]?  what makes you say that?  ❞

❝  i’m here,  i’m queer,  i wanna leave.  ❞