wonderbread™

hello i am worldbrand, i like bugs and witchy shit and i am never living up to my potential

[porcelain-dollbones]

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

[porcelain-dollbones]

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

[maja-paja]

[deathdaydreamm]

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

[deathdaydreamm]

[cutecipher]

[parkchanwoohoo]

[birdplushie]

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

[gnocchioli]

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

[karvina]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[viralfrog]

[soulren]

One single spider has been descending from a very long thread all the way from the moon and will very soon, we hope, carefully touch down on earth.

[contextfreepatentart]

[patent-art-contextualizer]

Application ID 20230046080

Combo 12

This is so much weirder than I was expecting, and not in any of the ways I was expecting. It’s a mess of dozens of individual ideas, none of which seem to be explained in any meaningful detail. Also none of the ideas reference the figure numbers directly, so you’re just left to guess.

Here’s a few highlights:

That’s just basic steering that rockets use.

This is nothing; just regular energy drink junk. “Super Creatine” was shown to be no more effective than regular creatine, and Carnipure is just a patented brand of carnitine.

“We heard you like windmills, so we put windmills on your windmills so you can windmill while you windmill.”

In all seriousness, this is also largely ineffective, at least on larger windmills, as the addition of extra generators would decrease the efficiency of the main one.

Literally just surveillance state insanity.

It can even be sticky.

I think this is what Figure 5 is supposed to be

I do appreciate the inclusiveness, although some of these aren’t genders.

There’s plenty more to this document, and it’s definitely another I’d recommend looking through for yourself.

[kat]

hello, i'm kat

[seracadash]

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

[viralfrog]

[nanaosdailylife]

I'm adapting to life down here.

[badassdemonsword]

You couldnt come up with a jollier name for a bird if you tried

[minmos]

this thang has one of my favorite ebird descriptions of all time

[mlarayoukai]

my that

[mlarayoukai]

you had to trade the this to get the that btw