Theo's Wonderland

My name's Mariah and this is a blog centered around my progress on my tulpae, Theo and Adelia. Should anyone view this blog and have any desire to comment on any of this, send me a message. :) Thanks from me, Adelia, and Theo! P.S. My main blog is ohimjustpeachykeen, so if you see that blog like a post or follow, ohimjustpeachykeen is me :)

[coolforinfinity]

bae: *doesnt reply for 2 mins*

me: are u having fun talking to UR HOES?

[sofjae]

@shirts-ties-and-low-expectations anytime @craos32 doesn’t respond to us.

[theoswonderland]

Side note...

I love sleepy tulpae. When I have to wake up early and I poke at my tulpae to get them to get up and they don't. Theo grunts out a "Leave me alone," and Adelia just whines.

Ah, God bless having these guys.

[theoswonderland]

Day 1721b

Two posts back to back. Unheard of!

So those of you who have been following me for a while and stayed following me through my many haituses (haiti?), you might think that I almost never work with my tulpae.

And the truth is, lately, I kind of haven't. You're right. I can count on one hand how many times I've active forced in the past 3 months. And when I gained a new follower, I decided to check out this blog--and hell, made a post while I was at it.

But I also looked my messages. Back when I was more active, people used to ask me for advice on how to build their own tuplae. (I will gladly give advice still, by the way!) And in one of the messages, I was coaching someone through hearing their tulpa's voice. And Theo told her within the advice:

"I love that every time we forced, she hugged me, told me she loved me, and told me to take my time."

Holy shit. Cue the guilt trip.

So immediately I put my phone down and closed my eyes and went to their wonderland. For those of you who don't know, it's a dense forest (the reason for my avatar choice). They were sitting on a log and toasting some marshmallows for s'mores.

"C'mon and join us. We've been waiting," Theo said.

I sat down in between them and hugged them both. I apologized for ignoring my duties for so long and Theo said, "You we're busy."

"Don't make excuses for me--"

"No, when I said 'you were busy,' you were busy. I call you out when you're being lazy. This time, you were really busy."

I don't know what it was, but he was right and I felt so comforted. Adelia said, "You've done so much and we're so proud of you. We're just glad you're here now with us," and hugged me.

If you are thinking about making a tulpa, make sure you have time. Because when you don't have time, they'll understand and love you anyway. Hopefully you'll get your own Theo who calls you out on your bullshit and your own Adelia who gives you flowers when you're sad.

[theoswonderland]

Day 1721

More possession stories! (As that's the only substantial things we've been doing as a system.)

So, I'm still consciously stuck in the front. I'm not chilling somewhere in the background of my mind when Adelia or Theo "takes the wheels."

But if we're gonna keep to this car analogy, I cannot give up this "emergency brake" that I seem to have a mental death grip on.

Whenever either of them take over, they have full use of my muscles--facial, body, everything. Even my voice--it becomes their voice. But the thing is, it feels like my hand is hovering over a "STOP" button waiting to take over at the last second. I need to relax.

I've let the two of them drive for about 10 minutes each on a straight road. It was probably more stressful than the first time I ever drove. What I felt must've been what my parents felt. They did fine--superb actually--but it'll be a while before I let that happen again. Only because it scared me half to death and that doesn't help with the relax part of possession.

As always, I'll take any advice you have to offer!

[theoswonderland]

Hey #educhums...

I'm a soon-to-be graduate and looking for jobs. The education field seems to feel they're special when it comes to job postings and don't post in your average online places--and the state department of education website is swarmed with charter schools. (My state has the worst charter schools in the nation and no teachers at a charter school here have job security--it's just a known fact.)

So instead of searching each and every school, looking for their HR/Employment/Jobs/Careers/Etc. page, does anyone go a kind of "education-Monster.com"? So far I've found k12jobspot.com which has a lot of substitute positions (which isn't bad!) but I maybe you guys know of something better? Or any tips and tricks?

[greysorcery-deactivated20200709]

Hey, so I'm a senior in undergrad and put in my application to the school I'm student teaching at. I really would like to get the job there, but I'd also just like to get a job right outside of school period. I was wondering if you could give me a reading on a probable outcome and maybe some advice? Thanks! Love and light 💜⚡ -Mariah W

Hello dear,I did a bone reading for you. I can not attach the image of the reading, so I dm’d it to you.

I used the bones:Quízet for the conscious mind,Oanni for the subconscious mind,The Atüatchi for how you’re using your energy,Taétér for how the situation is being manipulated,And Oalen for the intellectual mind.

The bones did not give me a clear yes or no answer, they did suggest that you will accomplish your overall goal. They revealed that you are outputting energy from the idea of your goal into transitioning into it; however, they also suggest that you’re overthinking about how you’re spending our energy which is hindering you. Lastly, they are signifying that you are going to be moving into a place of joy both consciously and subconsciously. 😊

If you would like a reading, please check out this post: https://greysorcery.tumblr.com/tagged/readingrules as to how my readings work. I don’t actively advertise bone readings, but if you’re interested I charge $12 per reading for those.

[ohimjustpeachykeen]

Here is the bone chart that was dm'ed to me for the reading.

The fact that I’m overthinking it is about 110% true–I overthink everything and I have been chewing on it all the time. It’s a comfort to know that the bones are showing that I will reach my overall goal and that the energy I am using is not in vain.

I will use this as a guide of that I need to stay on the same track as I am right now.

Thanks @greysorcery!

[theoswonderland]

Day 1561 - Possession

Hey guys, so the three of us have been trying on and off at possession for the last couple of weeks. Well, more off than on. It's broken and definitely not perfected but let me share you my observations:

Adelia has got the movements down. She can walk, talk, and do various activities with my body easily. From her: "I don't know why it came to me so easily. When I was just doing one arm or hand at a time it was hard--for pity's sake, just TYPING is difficult. But when Mariah lets go and I take over I feel so liberated and I want to run. Somehow I just... Got it."

Theo still walks around and does activities like, well, a drunk. From him: "I'm more disappointed than I am angry that I can't walk in our body--yes OUR body. For a long time now I've been able to take her hands and type what I want to say to everyone but I still can't walk. Although I have gained the ability to talk with my own voice through our body and not have to depend on Mariah's tambre if you will? If I'm taking the reins, you can tell when I talk."

From my point of view, I can feel who is in control. My body feels likes it's on a cloud when Adelia takes the reins and my body feels heavy when Theo does. But that's my biggest issue:

I can't step down.

I know it's because I'm scared of what could happen. I am a control freak and literally they're assuring me they'd do nothing to hurt me but something in my brain just won't truly let go no matter how hard I try.

Does anyone in the tulpa tumblr community have any ideas? Any tips?

[nightshaderaq]

Reblog if it’s ok to ask you about your Tulpas or What a Tulpa is

[theoswonderland]

New Foster Puppy

My mom and I got a new foster puppy from the pound. The president of the rescue decided to name him Theo.

My Theo is not pleased that a cute puppy shares his name.

[cosmicallynb]

Things your tulpa is not:

A magical end-all, be all to your problems

A Servant

Someone who will always agree with you

Someone who will never find fault in anything you do

A stand-in to pretend to be your favorite character

Your personal source of entertainment

Things your tulpa can be:

A friend

A supporter

A companion of any kind

Someone who can help you with your issues (not fix them, there’s a large difference)

A person who will call you out when you’re out of line.

And most importantly, do you know what a tulpa most certainly is? A person. And not only that, a person who deserves love and respect from their host. While there are exceptions, a tulpa should treat you right so long as you treat them right.

~Andrew

[theoswonderland]

Theo agrees with me about 70% of the time. Whenever he disagrees it's because it's over something he knows is bad for me. So the bullets "Some one who will always agree with you" and "Someone who will never find fault in you" is perfect :) Adelia sometimes disagrees but admits she's a bit shy to speak up about it.

Most importantly, tulpas are supporters through and through. They support me through school, through dieting, through exercise, through life. So God bless tulpas.

Where would we be without them?

[fordaplot-deactivated20180307]

I was going to make an animation that perfectly explains tulpamancy, but Fox already did it

[non-trauma-headspace]

do you have any advice for a frontstuck host? I've never been able to leave front, and though I have several system members that are able and willing to front, I've never been able to step back, and they aren't comfortable forcing me out. sorry to bother you, and I hope you all have a lovely day!

Try to relax and be somewhere safe, and try to slowly give up front. Imagine front is a controller, and you’re just handing it to someone else so that they can play a round of Halo Infinity War or whatever. You’ll get it back, and they’re just doing something unimportant to your playthrough.

-Rowan

[rainbow-tulpas-deactivated20190]

Sharing this here because this is a SUPER common problem in the tulpa community.

~fennec

[theoswonderland]

Day 1382

Aka, the night after seeing Stephen King's "It."

The next time my tulpas suggest for me to close my eyes and hang out with them for two hours while my boyfriend watches a horror movie, I'm gonna take their advice. If I have a nightmare involving clowns tonight, I'm really gonna regret not chillin' in wonderland... More than I already do.

Btw, it was just as weird as I suspected.

[poppyrosewitch]

Thoughtforms and Tulpamancy

I’ve never heard of these terms until now, and I’m close to tears.

As a result of childhood trauma (no physical abuse, but lots of mental/emotional) I invented these characters who would encourage me in rough times. All this time, I thought I was genuinely crazy. Now that I have a name for this, it gives me a sense of purpose.

If you’re a thought form/tulpamancy blog, PLEASE reblog this so I can follow you. I want to learn so much more.

[theoswonderland]

Day 1379

So for the past couple of nights, Theo and I have been trying to do some more possession. Last time, I could tell I had control of my face and voice and whatnot but he was controlling my limbs.

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on total possession? We can't quite figure out a good system...

[alittleporfle]

DO NOT REPOST THIS COMIC. IF YOU WANT TO SHARE IT, PLEASE DO SO FROM THE SOURCE.

Here is my submission for @zakeno’s Mental Health Zine to help fight stigma in the professional field. My contribution is about my experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is sadly highly stigmatized and misunderstood, even within the mental health field (despite there being tons of concrete research to support it). Coming out about having DID is a thing that makes me very nervous, admittedly, but I want people to know that Dissociative Identity Disorder is very real and we deserve to be acknowledged and not feel like our existence has to be hidden or shameful.

I’m posting this comic in full is because DID deserves so much more recognition than it gets, but please go check out the kickstarter for the full zine and consider supporting it:  https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1056477701/the-animated-brain-mental-health-in-the-animation

Since I was limited to 5 pages for this specific project, this is only the very bare bones introduction to DID, and there is easily a million more things that can be talked about in how it presents and affects people individually, but hopefully this is a comprehensive introduction based on my personal experiences.

Even though this is only 5 pages, it was one of the most difficult projects we have done and took a few months because trying to get everyone as an alter to contribute when they were fronting to show our range in skills was a waiting game. Sadly, we were running out of time so sort of just had to have whoever was out at the end finish it (which was mostly Devyn).

Like briefly talked about in the comic, DID forms in response to repeated childhood trauma (generally by ages 6-9) when failing to integrate a singular sense of self is needed for survival. This failure to integrate experiences, memories, etc. leads to these self states being able to function independently from each other and control the body at different times with varying levels of amnesia between switches. As time goes on, the more each part experiences different aspects of day to day life, the more and more differentiated and developed they can become from each other. Even though alters can be highly distinct and can function as if they were individual people (and boy can it feel that way on top of a lot of us preferring to be acknowledged as separate from each other in our body), the reason it’s called Dissociative Identity Disorder and no longer goes by its outdated name, Multiple Personality Disorder, is because alters aren’t actual separate fully-fledged personalities, but instead a single individual’s life and experiences split up from each other in a bunch of dissociated self states.

If anyone is interested in knowing more about DID, I always recommend this website as a great source: http://did-research.org/

I’ll also throw in the Myths and Misconceptions page: http://did-research.org/did/myths.html

Spoilers: No people with DID don’t have secret killer alters and are no more dangerous than literally any other person. DID is a defense mechanism/way you develop to navigate your environment, and for us specifically, we continued to be victims of abuse and mistreatment even until recently due to our amnesia and lack of awareness hiding the knowledge when people were harming us.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, everyone! 

[rainbow-tulpas-deactivated20190]

This is important! While some of the thing in this comic are things we can all relate to, it’s important to remember that DID involves a whole lot more than just being multiple. Systems with DID (and systems with OSDD) go through a whole lot more struggles than us endogenics do, and that’s something we have to remember.

No two systems function alike, and traumagenic systems and endogenic systems are especially different from one another. Don’t assume any system - especially if they are traumagenic and you aren’t - works the same way yours does, whether it’s with respect to fronting, communication, memories, or anything else. Respect that they do struggle with things the rest of us don’t.

~Sarah

[theoswonderland]

A lot of those in the DID community attack those in the tulpa community, each lacking in knowledge of each other. I know this helped me better understand DID, so I hope it can help someone else.

[legendofboar-deactivated2017120]

Any tulpa blogs??

Please reblog if you post want of the following so I can check you out and follow you!!!!!