wlw in self ship, it's 100% okay for you to headcanon your fem f/os as lesbians or see them as clearly lesbian coded even if others do not. it's also okay for you to be uncomfortable seeing men ship with those f/os.
mlm in self ship, it's 100% okay for you to headcanon your masc f/os as gay or see them as clearly gay coded even if others do not. it's also okay for you to be uncomfortable seeing women ship with those f/os.
lgbtqia+ self shippers, it's 100% okay for you to headcanon your f/o as bi, or aro, or ace, or trans, or anything in between. it's beautiful if you see the coding in your f/os' character, and there is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable seeing men ship with certain fictional women or women ship with certain fictional men.
it's important to remember that there are cis lesbians in this community, straight trans men, he/him lesbians, she/her gays, those who identify outside of trans men/trans women/nonbinary, nonbinary or agender people who use gendered pronouns, lesbians who ship with fictional men or gay men who ship with fictional women. there is nothing wrong with any of these things.
your self ship blog is your space. you come here to be happy for yourself and no one else. we all have our personal boundaries and things that affect our feelings badly. we can be uncomfortable seeing certain types of ships because it causes us dysphoria, or discomfort in our orientation, or reminds us of trauma, or anything under the sun.
being uncomfortable seeing a man ship with your fem f/o doesn't make you bad or a ~man hater~. being uncomfortable seeing a woman ship with your masc f/o doesn't make you bad or a ~misogynist~.
it is only when you go out of your way to bully, harass, vague, gossip, send hate, spread rumors, stalk, etc about someone that your true colors show. that's what makes someone terrible and their intentions disgusting.
please self ship for yourself.