summary: basically a continuation of the deleted scene <3
warnings: fluff, tinyyyyy bit of angst
word count: 1932
a/n: I love them so much and after seeing the deleted scene I just had to write this!!
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
“Thank you for bringing us cake uncle Bucky!” Aj shouts across the table.
“You’re welcome boys.” Bucky responds, playfully nudging Sam with a smirk.
“I’m still their favourite uncle so don’t go getting any ideas.” Sam says shooting Bucky a glare.
“We’ll see.” Bucky returns the same look.
“Alright, alright I’m sure the boys love you both plenty, right boys?”
A mix of “Yep” and “Mhmm Mama” come from Aj and Cass making everyone laugh lightly.
Bucky couldn’t help but look to his side, focusing on the smile lines on Sam’s face. The way they moved as he looked around at his family. The way his smile kept growing as Sarah and the boys speak about the activities they’re planning tomorrow. He doesn’t realise how long he’s staring until Sam turns to him, toothy grin and all. “Something caught your eye Buck?” He says, his smirk only growing.
He blinks as Sam’s voice breaks him out of his trance. “Hm? What? No I was just-” He rambles, only stopping when Sam moves his hand towards Bucky’s arm and squeezes slightly.
“Chill man, I’m just messing with ya.”
Bucky laughs but before he can respond, Sarah calls his name. “You staying here tonight, Bucky?”
“Oh, I- no that’s okay. Thanks Sarah.” Sam shoots him a look of confusion and answers again for him.
“Yes, he’s staying here tonight.” Bucky looks at him and mirrors the confusion on his face.
“Guys I really don’t mind getting a room at a motel.”
“Nonsense!” Sarah exclaims as she stands up from the table. “Boys, get ready for bed and I’ll set up the couch for Bucky.”
“It’s okay Sarah, I’ll do it. You just chill for the night.” Sam says. He gets up to hug the boys and Sarah goodnight. Bucky does the same.
“You sure?” She asks.
“Yeah I got it.” He says.
“Okay, goodnight then.”
“Night!” Bucky says as she walks away before he turns to Sam.
“You know I really don’t mind getting a hotel room Sam.” He says slightly quieter than his normal voice. He didn’t really want to get a hotel room but he equally didn’t want to impose on Sam and his family.
“Come on now, you’re part of the family now Buck, there’s always going to be room for you here.” Sam reassures him with a pat on the back. They both begin to walk up to the house and Bucky heads for the couch.
“Hey Sam?” Bucky shouts through to the kitchen where Sam was quickly finishing the clean up from the cookout.
“Yeah?”
“You got a spare pillow? Maybe a blanket?”
“Yeah, in my room, hang on.” He puts away the last bowl and strolls through. Bucky could almost see a slight smirk on his face but had no idea why.
“You know, I can’t really be bothered going all the way up, back down the stairs and all the way back up again.” Sam groans. He had been subtly hinting at Bucky to make a move but he hadn’t caught on, so Sam decided to up the stakes.
Bucky’s a bit confused but responds anyway. “Oh umm, I can get it? Where are they?” He heads for the stairs but stops on the first step, turning to Sam to wait for his answer.
“Or” Sam trails off. “You could just stay in my room. Beds big enough for both of us.” Sam notices Bucky’s eyes practically fall out the sockets in surprise and suddenly worries that he might’ve overstepped.
“Oh.” Bucky clears his throat before continuing, he pushes together his thumb and index finger, a nervous tic he had recently developed. “Yeah.. I- okay. If that’s okay with you?.” Truthfully the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Sam was a lot. He hadn’t even really admitted it to himself but there were feelings there, on his part anyway. Spending time with Sam, whether it was fighting on a mission or just sitting with him on the jet made him get a funny feeling inside his chest and he didn’t know how to handle it.
“Wouldn't ask if it wasn't.” Sam responds with a light chuckle. He follows Bucky up the stairs. Sam’s heart was beginning to race and he prayed Bucky couldn’t here it.
Bucky walks into Sam’s room and looks around. He’d only ever seen it in photos and once on a video call, but it was just as he imagined. It was tidy but had loads of little trinkets around. He sees photos of Sam with Riley, his parents and a baby he assumes is Cass or Aj. There’s also a diary, it looks like it had been read a lot but it had a pen sticking out. Maybe a journal, Bucky thought.
Below the photo wall is a bottle of aftershave, he couldn’t smell it but he guessed it was the smell he had become so used to smelling on Sam. The one that he had grown so attached to recently. It made him feel silly, being attached to a smell but it also made him feel safe and that was a feeling he had been craving ever since he fell off that train in the 40’s.
He turns to the left and sees Sam’s bed, it was covered in blankets and looked so comfy. It had been a while since he had slept in a bed, his apartment back in new york had a bed but he hadn’t once slept in it. He begins to think about whether he’ll be able to sleep okay but Sam’s voice cuts him off.
“It’s a hard one.”
Bucky turns around quickly and looks at Sam, he turns his head slightly, urging Sam to continue.
“The mattress I mean. Soft beds are the worst. Ya know?”
“Right.” Bucky says. He hated that Sam had those struggles but it made him feel better that he wasn’t the only one who did.
Bucky goes to the bathroom first and changes into a pair of sweatpants and vest. He brushes his teeth and heads back to Sam’s room. Sam does the same but takes a little longer, he had a more detailed night routine. He changes into a pair of shorts and leaves his shirt off. He takes the time to wash and moisturise his face and walks back to the room.
You got a side you prefer Buck?”
“By the door? If that’s okay with you?”
“Yep.”
They get into bed and Sam turns all the lights off, just leaving a lamp on his side table on. The room is silent but he can hear Bucky’s deep breathing. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” Bucky chuckles to try to hide his embarrassment but Sam notices his cheeks warming up and turn a shade of red. “Just been a while since I shared a bed with someone.”
“Are you uncomfortable?” Sam asks.
“No! God no!” He wanted to tell Sam he could never feel uncomfortable with him around but he held back. “I just.. The only time I ever really shared a bed was with a girl back in the day.” He admits with a shy grin.
Sam’s eyebrows raise at that and he takes a deep breath before responding “Is this so different?” He can’t help but chuckle when Bucky’s eyes do that thing again, they really would fall out if it kept happening.
“Hm?”
“Is this so different from then?”
“Sam.” Bucky calls his name.
“Bucky.” Sam responds in the same tone.
“Do you..”
“Do I..”
Bucky takes a breath, he knows what he wants to say but he just can’t get it out. “Do you feel this.. thing between us?” Sam really can’t help his full laugh coming out this time.
“Thing?” He asks, waiting for Bucky to say what he’s really thinking.
“Sam, If I’ve taken this the wrong way please tell me now to save me the embarrassment.”
“How can I know unless you tell me?” He was really gonna make him say it wasn’t he?
“Sam, I like you.”
“I’d hope so, we are partners after all.” Sam teases, he regrets it as he sees Bucky’s face drop.
“Right.” Bucky nods his head slightly. “Partners.” He starts to turn back and lie down but stops when he feels Sam’s hand on his arm.
“Oh my god, you idiot! Come here.” With that, Sam pulls Bucky towards him by the neckline of his vest and plants his lips against Bucky’s. The feeling of Sam’s soft lips melting into his was one he didn't think could ever be beaten. It’s a messy kiss and both of them don’t want it to end. Bucky’s the one to pull away, needing a second to catch his breath. He pulls away only slightly and presses his forehead against Sam’s.
Sam’s tongue comes out his mouth and licks along his lips, chasing the taste of Bucky he had finally gotten after craving it for so long. “I do.” He whispers. Bucky pulls away further and looks at Sam, urging him to continue. “I do feel that thing.”
Bucky chuckles at that, he feels shy and hides his head in the crook of Sam’s neck for a second. He couldn’t believe he had finally gotten to touch Sam in the way he way too often thought about.
“What took us so long?” He asks softly but it comes out as a mumble against Sam’s skin. Sam pulls away slightly and places his hands on Bucky’s face.
“What was that?” He asks and Bucky repeats himself but can’t bring himself to look in Sam’s eyes.
“I’d say we’ve had a lot on our plates, it didn’t exactly leave us a lot of time to be alone.” Bucky nods along, it’s true. There was always someone or something in their way. “Plus, I like seeing you flustered. It’s cute so I had to play a little.” Sam teases.
“Hey! I was not flustered.” Bucky argues playfully to which Sam laughs at.
“Buck, I honestly thought your eyes were gonna pop out of your head when I suggested sleeping up here.” Bucky feels his cheeks heat up even more.
“How else was I supposed to react? Sleeping in your bed with you in it.”
“Aw baby are you getting all flustered again?”
“You’re so annoying Sam.” Bucky playfully rolls his eyes and hides his smirk.
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.” They look into each other's eyes for a moment before he responds.
“Yeah, I really do.” The unspoken true meaning of their words float between them but neither of them bring them to light.
“Alright enough swooning.” Sam teases. “As much as I’d love to look into your eyes all night, we need to sleep.”
“Come here then.” Bucky responds, pulling Sam down towards the bed with him. He pulls Sam into his chest and lets him wiggle around until he’s comfy. Their legs tangle under the blanket and Sam rests his arm over Bucky.. “This okay?” Bucky asks.
“Mhmm. S’perfect.” Sam mumbles.
It’s silent for a few moments before Bucky breaks it.
“Sam?”
“Yeah Buck?”
“You think Sarah is free after their plans tomorrow?”
“Buck! It’s still not funny!”
Bucky can’t hold off his laughter.
“It will never not be funny Sam.” He speaks more softly as he continues. “Don’t worry, there’s only one Wilson I got my eyes on.”
With that he pressed a gentle kiss onto Sam’s forehead and closed his eyes.
“Goodnight Doll.”
He heard Sam giggle at that and it was the best sound he had ever heard, until Sam responded in his sleepy voice. “Goodnight Babe”
here’s a small resource list with very important information & links on the ongoing war in Palestine. any silence leads to another innocent dead body. 🇵🇸
| From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free. |
master posts with donations, petitions, campaigns:
| From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free. |
this is not an end-all-be-all list, but it’s a start to getting more information & efforts out there. reblog, donate, click on every link you can. do something. 🇵🇸
warnings: mentions of sexual assault, mention of Bucky’s being held by HYDRA, flufff
word count: 1271
a/n: i’m trying to get back into writing so this isn’t written the best but I really wish we got a conversation like this in the show :(
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
“Are we gonna talk about it?” Sam almost whispers. Not one word had been spoken between them since they arrived at Sharon's safehouse.
Bucky doesn’t move his eyes from his hands where he was playing with his fingers. “Talk about what?”
“You know what.” Bucky takes a deep breath, he wishes he didn’t know. He knows already that him and Sam aren’t really friends, yet something in him feels safe enough to open up to him.
Sam moves closer to Bucky, close enough that their thighs brush together. “Buck..”
Bucky can feel his eyes grow wetter as the flashbacks of his time at Hydra flash through his mind. He turns to Sam and looks into his eyes, they’re full of trust, full of care. “I just.. I haven’t spoken about that with anyone before.”
“Look, you don't have to talk about it.. just know that you can anytime and I’ll listen.”
“You won’t judge me? Or look at me any different?”
Sam shoots Bucky a slight smile. “I promise.”
“I only remember parts.. a lot of my time with Hydra is still full of gaps, it comes back sometimes at random times but I remember..” Bucky pauses for a second and tries to think of a way to word this.
Sam puts his hand on Bucky’s thigh and squeezes slightly. Once his hand makes contact he worries he might have overstepped but Bucky leans into his touch and pushes those concerns away.
“At first when they found me in the snow it wasn’t bad, I honestly felt relieved that I had been found, but then they told me who they were and I knew I wasn’t safe. I noticed too late, there was no way for me to escape. They locked me in a room and left me there for what felt like days. Food and water would appear in my room but I never saw anyone come in or out. I later found out that they would put gas into my room to knock me out.” Bucky feels like he is going off topic but Sam reassures him he’s okay to continue.
“Once they’d gotten in my head with those damn words, they controlled everything I did. They would use me for their missions as you know, but it didn’t stop there. At one point, I don’t even know when but they moved me to a room and it had windows. At first I thought this was a good thing but then I realised they were only one way windows. I couldn’t see out but they could see in.”
Sam didn’t say anything but nodded, urging Bucky to continue.
“They would take turns coming into my room, one at a time but I could hear the others on the other side of the window. They made me do different things and I’m still putting the pieces together but I remember one in particular. He would make me stand right in front of the mirror and take my clothes off.” Bucky felt Sam tense beside him and looked at him, checking if he should continue. Sam’s heart melted at Bucky, even at his most vulnerable he was checking on others.
“It’s okay, only keep going if you want to.”
Bucky nodded before continuing. “Once I had my clothes off, sometimes he would make me..” Bucky’s voice grew smaller and smaller as he continued, so much so, Sam could almost not hear him. “He would make me touch myself, whilst they all watched. I could hear them laughing, like they were enjoying themselves. The guy in the room, he would keep telling me what to do but he would stop right before I..” Sam gave Bucky a look of understanding, Bucky was thankful he didn't have to say it. “He would do it over and over again, never letting me finish.” Bucky cringed slightly at his wording but kept going. “Once they'd had their fun they’d just leave me there in pain.”
Bucky suddenly felt like he had to defend himself. “And it’s not like I wanted to.. but anything would have been better than having to wait it out.”
Sam can feel his anger rising, thinking back to earlier in the night. Zemo asking Bucky to go back into that mindset and let him touch him was uncalled for. He felt guilty for letting it happen even though deep down he knew it had to happen. Still he made a mental note to apologise to Bucky when the time was right.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to defend yourself. I can’t imagine how hard that would've been.” Bucky felt relieved at that, he almost felt silly for thinking Sam would judge him but after a second he realises probably not everyone would react this way. He really was grateful for having Sam. He made him feel safe and listened to so he kept going.
“There was another man, he only came in a few times and he would touch me.. but…” Bucky took a deep breath and paused for only a moment. “He wouldn’t use the words. He just told me to lie down and I would do it. I just let him.”
Sam didn’t want to interrupt Bucky but he couldn’t let him blame himself for that. “Bucky.. That wasn't your fault. Whether he used the words or not, it was against your will.”
“But I could have stopped him, If i’d just been toughe-”
“Bucky no. Please listen to me when I say this.” Sam shifts sideways slightly and grabs Bucky’s hands. He looks up into Bucky’s eyes and continued. “None of what happened to you is your fault, you had no choice in what happened.”
Bucky can feel a tear run down his face before he can stop it. He quickly brings his hand up and wipes it away. “I’m sorry for this. I know you probably don’t want to hear about it.”
“Buck” Sam chuckles lightly. “I like to think we’re close enough now that we can vent to each other. This is gonna be pretty tough if we can’t.”
This brought a little smile to Bucky’s face. “Thank you for listening to me Sam, and thank you for not looking at me like I'm some freak.”
“You’re not a freak. You’ve been through a lot, that doesn’t make you a freak, that makes you strong. I know this was hard to look back on but I’m glad you felt safe enough to..with me. I’m here for you okay? From now on, we have each other's backs, no matter what.”
“I’m here for you too. You can talk to me, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick in the past but I promise I got you. You can talk to me about anything, I know you’ve been through a lot too. It must be ha-”
Before Bucky could finish speaking, the door swings open and Zemo walks in. “Gentleman.” Bucky pulls away from Sam and wipes his face once more, he absolutely does not want Zemo to crack any jokes about this. He shoots Sam an apologetic look but there's no need, Sam understood and nodded slightly to show that. “ Are you two ready to leave? We’re waiting.”
Sam and Bucky both clear their throat before standing up. Both mumbling a response that sounds like a mixture of “Yes” and “Let’s go”
Zemo leaves the room first and Bucky goes to follow but not before looking back at Sam and grabbing his hand.
“When we get home.” They both smile slightly and Sam squeezes Bucky’s hand.
Hi. I requested this and I forgot to put down that I want it to be fluff and mild smut (if you want of course)
Bucky accidentally introduces the reader as "his girl" and is extremely embarrassed. When the reader tells him she doesn’t mind, he can't stop smiling.
Could end in smut if you want.
Hi!! So sorry this took me so long but I just posted it!!!
Warnings: smut 18+ only - established relationship, quick mention of reader being a teacher, minorrrr angst (like not at all), mentions of anxiety, fluff fluff fluff, smut (unprotected sex, public sex, creampie, nipple play, spit kink), use of pet names (sweet girl, baby) - let me know if i missed any please :)
word count: 2842
a/n: not beta read or really edited lol. Also my first time writing in months so this is kinda shit.
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform. Do not read or interact if you are a minor.
masterlist
“How do I look?” You ask Bucky as you walk into the kitchen, twirling slightly to show off your outfit.
“Beautiful as always doll.” He walks towards you and brushes his lips against your forehead. “Don’t be nervous, they’re gonna love you.”
Bucky always knew how you were feeling, even when you were trying to hide it.
You take a deep sigh before replying, “I just want to make a good first impression, I know they’re important to you.”
“Not as important as you are doll.” You feel his smirk against your forehead as he brings himself closer for another kiss.
“Forever the charmer Buck, I love you.”
“I love you too,” He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the door, “come on, we don’t wanna be late.”
You try to stop in front of the mirror to check how you look once more but he stops you, “Stop worrying baby, you look perfect.”
“I just want them to like me.”
“And they will, I promise”
Everything about your relationship with Bucky had been amazing so far but the idea of meeting his friends, the people who had been there for him since he became himself again, before you even knew each other, was terrifying. If they didn’t like you, what would that mean? Sure Bucky says you’re the most important person in his life but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t convince yourself that if his friends didn’t like you then Bucky would dump you.
“Baby, you have got to stop worrying. They’re gonna love you.”
“You don’t know that Bucky.”
“But I do..” He trails off his words to show you how confident he is about this. Your lips come together in a little pout, which Bucky finds adorable.
It was only a 15 minute drive to the tower where the rest of the Avengers lived, you were secretly hoping there would be some traffic to hold you up but the roads were nowhere near as busy as they usually were. Bucky could feel the anxiety radiating off you, he wished he could take it away from you, there was really 0 chance that his friends wouldn’t love you, but you were naturally an anxious person and he knew that so he did what he knew comforted you and rubbed circles over your hand on the drive there. You appreciated him for trying to comfort you but your anxiety would not ease up. You’d never felt this nervous before, you must’ve completely zoned out for the rest of the car ride because what felt like only a minute later had actually been 15 and you were pulling up to the tower.
Bucky had a quick chat with the gate attendant before driving through the gates and parking in his designated spot.
“You ready doll?” He asks, turning himself towards you with a soft smile on his face.
“Mhmm, let’s go.” You were not ready but you didn’t want to ruin Bucky’s night, it’d been a while since he’d seen everyone with all the missions everyone had recently been on and you knew he was excited.
He quickly climbed out the car and made his way to your side, always insisting on opening your door for you. When you get out he holds his hand out for you and you immediately grab hold of it. He pulls you closer towards you and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead before whispering to you. “I promise baby, it’s gonna be fine.” You shoot him a quick, almost forced smile, and nod, showing you were ready to go in.
It only takes a few minutes to get up to the living quarters side of the tower, and now a quick elevator ride was the only thing between you and people Bucky loves. As the elevator started to slow you took a deep breath and readied to walk out. As soon as the doors open you can hear a loud laugh boom through the room followed by a quiet chuckle beside you. It had only been a couple seconds and Bucky was already so happy to be back here.
As you turned the corner your eyes quickly scanned the room trying to put names to faces of everyone Bucky had told you about. Obviously you knew everyone's superhero names, but to Bucky they were his friends, his family, not superheroes. Suddenly everyone had turned your way and you realise Bucky had made both your presences known. You felt like all eyes were on you and Bucky could tell your nerves had shot up, so he lightly gave your hands a squeeze.”Hey guys.”
“Hey Bucky!” Sam shouted over and began walking towards you. “You must be Y/N? Bucky’s told me a lot about you.”
You nod towards, who you knew to be Sam, as much as Bucky told you they weren’t best friends, you knew that they were. You smile and hold your hand out to shake his. “That’s me, nice to meet yo-” Before you could finish, Sam pulled you in for a hug.
“We’re all about hugs here. You’re part of the family now.” You can’t help but laugh and hug him back. You really appreciated him being so welcoming, he was the one person you were most worried about not liking you. From what Bucky told you, he was very protective over the people he cares about.
“Alright Wilson, don’t scare my girl away.” Sam pulls away and moves to Bucky to give him a hug as well.
You look at Bucky and smirk, "Your girl, hm?” He looked confused for a split second before the tips of his ears started to turn bright red and his usual smug smirk disappeared when he realised what he’d said.
“Sorry doll.” You weren’t sure why he was apologising or why he was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sa- sorry.” You’d never seen someone's skin turn so red as fast as his had in this moment.
“Don’t be, I liked it.” You whisper right next to him, hoping no one else heard. Before he could respond to you, more voices filled the space around you.
“You could’ve just asked for a hug too Bucky, besides if you haven’t scared her off already, I don’t think much will” Sam teases.
“So your girl? Must be serious. I’ll expect my wedding invite any day now. Bucky’s face was only growing redder and he couldn’t look anyone in the eye, forcing his gaze to the floor. His hand was rubbing the back of his neck, something you knew he did when he was embarrassed. You took a small step closer to him and rubbed your hand on his arm, showing you really didn’t mind the nickname, in fact you loved it. A small smile was starting to form on his face but before you could see it grow any more a voice pulled you away.
“Alright Wilson, stop hogging them. The rest of us want to introduce ourselves as well.” You instantly recognise the face as Clint, someone who Bucky truly owed a lot to. He had let Bucky live with him and his family for a bit when he needed some time away from the city. The memories of Steve leaving and his past life got too much to handle and he already felt like he had imposed too much on Sam and his family. He would forever be grateful for Clint and Laura taking him in, he really felt a part of their family, so much so that their kids had started calling him Uncle Bucky.
Clint put his hand towards yours and introduced himself, “Hi Y/N, I’m Clint. Sorry about him, I promise we’re not all as crazy as him.” You laughed at his joke and shook his hand. It’s lovely to finally meet you Clint, Bucky’s spoken a lot about you.”
“It’s all lies.” He jokes before moving onto Bucky and giving him a side hug.
“Laura and the kids here too clint?”
Clint shook his head before moving to stand in front of you both. “Sorry Buck, they had some school things on, but they made me promise to ask you to visit soon, and to bring your girl!” Clint replies with a wink which makes you laugh. Bucky couldn’t stop his huge smirk from reappearing as Clint called you his girl.
As they continued talking more people made their way over to you and introduced themselves. First there was Joaquin and then Sarah and her boys. The boys completely skipped saying hello to you and ran over to their uncle Bucky before Sarah called them back to apologise. They came back and introduced themselves and with a little nudge from Sarah apologised for rushing past you. “That’s okay, I know you're excited. It was very nice to meet you both boys.” They shook your hand and ran over again to Bucky.
“Sorry about them, I swear they love Bucky more than they love me sometimes.” Sarah smiled at seeing how nicely you fit into the group and gave you a hug, just like how Sam had to show you that you were welcomed. Once all the introductions were done you all sat down in the living room. You were the main topic of the conversation, everyone was interested in knowing how one person had completely changed Bucky’s life.
“So Y/N,” Wanda started, “Bucky said you’re a teacher?”
“Yeah that’s right.” You slightly laughed aftwards, not because it was funny but you were slightly panicking being the centre of attention around all these people. Especially since some of them were literal superheroes. “I know it’s not as exciting as you guys but I enjoy it.”
Everyone quickly spoke up and defended you against yourself. Especially Sarah and Clint, with having kids they knew how important teachers were. It felt good knowing that they thought that of you, even though you were still feeling anxious, everyone had been so welcoming to you and you weren't sure why you were so nervous.You didn’t notice but Bucky was looking at you as you spoke, his eyes were a tell tale sign that he was so proud of you. He knew how hard you worked and loved when you got the recognition you deserve.
“What age do you teach?” Joaquin asked next.
“Oh erm, at the moment I teach second grade but I’m hoping to move up soon.”
“It must be hard, kids are annoying little creatures.” Sam says, looking at Cass and AJ for their reactions, they both shout “Hey!” before Sam tickles them.
Another voice starts, you’re not sure who but doesn't get far before Bucky interrupts. “Alright alright, stop grilling my girl.” His girl. “I haven’t seen most of you guys in months, what’s been happening?
You look at Bucky and smirk when he calls you his girl again and it only takes a few seconds for him to realise what he’s said again and he can’t help but smirk, knowing that you like it.
The rest of the night went well, you felt like they all really liked you. Before you knew it, it was around midnight and you were working in the morning so had to get home.
“Again, it was really lovely to meet all of you! Thank you for a great night.” You say as you head for the elevator, Bucky following close behind.
“Make sure to tell the boy’s I said bye, Sarah!” Bucky shouts, “Clint, let’s plan a trip soon. See you all later!” Bucky shouts through, the elevator doors just cutting him off.
As soon as the doors shut you lead your head against his shoulder. “You okay sweet girl?”
“I’m good, just tired.”
“You have a good night?”
You nodded against him, “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay longer.”
“Hey,” He moved slightly and held your head in his hands, bending over slightly to be eye level as he spoke. “We stayed plenty, I know you have work tomorrow, and plus..” He moved closer to your ear to whisper. “.. I couldn’t do this in there.” He lowered one of his hands to your ass and squeezed before pressing you both against the elevator wall. He moved his lips against yours and kissed you, it was a desperate kiss. “You like being my girl huh?”
You can’t help but giggle when he calls you his girl again. You bite your lip before answering. “I do..” He lowers his hand to the hem of your dress and traces his fingers over your inner thigh
“Fuck baby, I nee-” The ding of the elevator doors opening interrupts you both. “Fuck!” Bucky curses everything stopping him from touching you right now. He presses the button to close the doors and immediately after presses the alarm button. The elevator makes a clank noise before it goes silent again, the only sound being you trying to catch your breath after that kiss. Bucky goes back to kissing you but starts on your neck and starts going lower and lower. When his teeth graze over your nipple through your dress you push him back slightly.
“Bucky we can’t here..” You whisper, knowing he can hear your heart beating, you needed him just as bad as he needed you.
“Baby.. I’ll fuck my girl anywhere I want to.” He says before returning to your tits. You bite back a moan which Bucky notices. Your sex life from bucky wasn’t boring by any means but it had never felt as intense as this. The thrill of being in public was sending chills through you.
“Oh shit.. Bucky please.
He lifts your dress up and pulls your panties to the side, using his other hand he unties his jeans and pulls them down enough for his already hard cock to fall out. He rubs his hand over it a couple times and looks at you. “Spit on it for me.” His words send flutters through your stomach and down to your pussy, and you do as he says.
“You ready?”
You nod as you answer, “Pleasee.”
He lifts you up and rubs the tip of his cock against your pussy, gathering your slick before he pushes in. “Fuck, my girls got such a tight pussy.” He keeps pushing until he’s fully in, hitting that spot that makes you grab onto his shoulders, your nails digging into him, which he likes. “You feel so good baby.”
“Fuck.. Bucky please..” He feels so good but his thrusts are slow and you need more.
“What do you need?” He smirks at you, knowing exactly what you need but waiting until you ask for it.
“Fuck me..” Your head falls back, Bucky’s hand cups it to stop it hitting the wall. “Please.”
He chuckles at the desperation in your voice, “Anything for you my sweet girl.” His thrusts fasten and you feel yourself racing towards your high. You use your hands to steady yourself as he fucks into you. You bite your lip to stifle your moan but Bucky doesn’t like that. “Don’t do that baby.. Don’t hide your pretty little noises. I wanna hear you. Want the whole tower to hear how you sound when I fuck you.”
“Fuck.. Bucky you feel so good. I think I’m gonn-”
“I know baby, it’s okay. Let go for me.” He moves his hand from behind your head and wraps it around your neck. The cold from his touch and him speeding up was enough to send you over the edge.
“Fuckkkk.. Bucky I’m cum- I’m cumming.”
“Oh Fuck.. I’m there too, baby.” He groans, almost whimpers in your ear. “Feel s’good baby.” He slows his thrusts down as you both come down from your highs.
When you don’t respond he looks at you. “You okay?”
You can’t speak but you nod your head.
“You all cockdrunk?”
“Mhmm.”
“Such a good girl for me.” He strokes the side of your face and plants a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s get you home, sweet girl.”
He slowly inches out of you and sets you down. You stumble a little and grab onto his shoulder to steady yourself.
“Thank you Buck.”
“You don’t need to thank me, come on let’s get you home.” He puts his arm around your waist before reaching over and pressing the alarm button again.
The doors of the elevator open and Sam is standing there, his eyes bulge open before he laughs. You immediately stand up straight and try make yourself look like you haven’t just been fucked moments before but it was obvious.
You feel your skin warm at being caught but Bucky just laughs beside you like it was no big deal. “I should’ve known it was you two lovebirds causing trouble. Now I know no ones really stuck, I’ll see you guys later”
“Bye Sam.” You manage to mumble before Bucky pulls you closer, you look at each other and have to hold in your laughter.
For the Stardust Reblog Challenge: Summer Edition hosted by @liraketo
These are all the fics I've read in September. Please go show all these amazing writers some much deserved love! Also please remember to read the warnings for each individual fic
🔥 - smut | 💗 - fluff I 💧- angst | 😈 - dark
Dividers by @saradika
Bucky Barnes
💧 Time After Time (series) by @intrepidacious
🔥😈 Devour (series) by @buckets-and-trees
💧💗🔥 Secret Door (series) by @buckyownsmylife
😈🔥 A Stranger Arrives by @witchywithwhiskey
💗 Rained Out by @mindingmyownbusiness
💧💗 Blood Sweat and Tears by @treatbuckywkisses
🔥 Dirty Little Secret by @vellicore
💗 Don’t Tell Bucky by @lives-in-midgard
💗 Hypothetically Speaking by @littleseasiren
🔥 Distracted by @sunshinebuckybarnes
💗 Screen Lesson by @vilentia
💗 Post apocalyptic Bucky by @fluffyprettykitty
💧💗🔥 Replace Me by @fandoms-writings
💗🔥 Hold Me Down by @flordeamatista
🔥 Impure Thoughts Part One | Part Two by @samodivaa
💗 Imagine calling Bucky while he’s at work by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
Steve Rogers
💗 Tall and Two Sugars by @sarahghetti
💗 The Moment He Knew by @/sunshinebuckybarnes
💧 imagine Steve’s anger when you go off book during a mission by @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction
💧💗 He Comes Back by @imtryingbuck
💧💗 Handsome Stranger by @/lives-in-midgard
🔥 Can’t Wait That Long by @worksby-d
Sam Wilson
🔥 Touch Me by @galatially
💗 Contentment by @/fluffyprettykitty
💧💗 Don’t Tell My Boyfriend, It’s Not What He’s Made For by @wwilsonbarness
🔥💗 Dancing’s When I Think of You by @targaryenvampireslayer
💗 You and I Were Fireworks by @feelmyskinonyourskin
💧💗 Desperately Seeking Sam by @onceuponastory
Joaquin Torres
🔥 Inexperienced Joaquin by @/fluffyprettykitty
💗 Mixup by @blackbat05
Peter Parker
💧💗 Shaken (Not Stirred) by @cocoamoonmalfoy
Joel Miller
💗 Dancin’ in the Dark by @jobean12-blog
💗 Fall In Love by @/jobean12-blog
💗 Late Night Movie by @holacia3
💗 Date Night by @/holacia3
Multiple Characters
💧💗 Sleep Deprivation by @brandycranby [Steve Rogers, Andy Barber, Curtis Everett, Ari Levinson, Jake Jensen & Ransom Drysdale]
💧💗 Romance Tropes with Marvel Characters by @angelltheninth [Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, Tony Stark, Kate Bishop, Peter Parker]
as the newly appointed ceo, you're desperate for your employees to like you. but you're young, dumb, and out of your depth - at least according to bucky barnes, who hates you more than anyone.
content warning: bucky x ceo!f!reader, reader is a nepo baby and bucky despises her for it, age gap (bucky's like 20 yrs older), enemies to fuckers, sexual tension, hate fucking, penetrative sex, cream pie, rough sex, man-handling, bucky takes all his anger out on you and doesn't care if he leaves bruises while doing so, dubcon, DEGRADATIONNNNNNNNN, mean mean mean bucky, no fluff!
You timidly sip on the Pornstar Martini in your hand, scanning everyone as your eyes dart from left to right. Are they having fun? Are they glad you planned this? Is this the best team day they've ever had?
"This is the best team day we've ever had, ma'am," Peter says eagerly as he smiles up at you, his big brown eyes wide and desperate.
With an eye-roll, you sigh. "Go somewhere else," You order, which he quickly obeys.
If only they could all be as infatuated with you as Peter is. But ever since you were appointed as CEO of one of your mom's companies, you've felt a little out of place. You need them to love you, but with little experience as a boss, you have no idea how to win them over.
"What's Jerry talking about?" Your most outspoken employee, Bucky Barnes, suddenly calls out from beside you.
Looking up at him, you frown, pushing your sunglasses up onto your head. "Excuse me?"
Bucky hates you. It's no secret. Before you were given this job on a silver platter, the board was close to giving him CEO. The fact that he lost out to someone as young and stupid and inexperienced as you has left him bitter, and he doesn't bother hiding that from you. The nepotism dripping from your every move makes him seethe, but you do your best to pretend you don't notice.
"Jerry just said he's off the second week of December," Bucky iterates with a glare.
You tilt your head. "Yeah, so what?"
"So, what?" He repeats with disbelief, rage dripping from his tone. "That's three people in senior positions you've allowed to take time off just weeks before Christmas - are you insane, or just absolutely fucking stupid?"
Appalled by his words, you gasp. Nobody has ever dared to speak to you like that in your whole life. You let out a shaky breath, but before you can respond to him, he storms off inside the resort. With a huff, you stand up and race after him, preparing yourself to rip him a new one before firing him.
"Don't you dare walk away from me!" You yell as he turns into the changing rooms.
"Fuck off," He huffs, taking you aback.
"Stop taking to me like that!" You exclaim as he turns to face you.
"Or what, sweetheart?" Bucky asks you condescendingly. "You'll fire me?"
"Fuck yeah, I'll fire you!" You shoot.
"Too late. I quit," He spits.
"Are you forgetting who I am?" You ask with a dry laugh. "Who my mom is?"
He clenches his jaw and storms over to you before grabbing your arm. "I think about it every fucking minute," He reveals lowly. "I think about the fact that you're only in this job because your mom got fucked raw twenty years ago and didn't know how to raise a decent human being. You're only here because you didn't have enough brain cells to get a job your damn self. You were in college for all of six months and you spent that time getting spit-roasted by frat cock, trying your best to feel some kind of self-worth, to bring some kind of value to society - newsflash, honey, being a whore doesn't disguise the fact that you have next to zero worth. You are nothing more than a pretty face in high heels, and you're gonna run this company to the ground - but Mommy won't give a fuck because she's got a hundred others just waiting for you to bulldoze over."
Stunned, you say nothing. Your bottom lip quivers as you shake.
He lets out a scoff. "Fuck's sake. You gonna cry now? You can't tell me you've only just realized what a dipshit you are?" He asks you with a raised brow, before tightening his grip on your arm and pulling you closer and pulling at your bikini top. "Look at you. Just fucking look at yourself. Parading around in this tiny bikini, trying to make them like you. The only reason those guys show you any kind of respect is because they wanna fuck you. They wanna use your body because your mind sure as fuck ain't worth shit. No, don't cry about it, dummy. It's just the truth- and deep down, you know that. You know you're only worth anything when your holes are being used."
A whimper escapes your mouth.
Bucky brings his face closer to yours as he looks your body up and down. His eyes darken. "Mmm. You might have fucked up my career, but maybe I'll still get some use oughta ya," He grumbles, making your legs quake. "Yeah. Stupid little girls like you are only good for one thing; taking cock."
"James, what-"
"Shut the fuck up," He cuts you off coldly, before spinning you around and bending you over one of the benches. "Here. You should be grateful; I'm putting you to use. Giving you a sense of self-worth, huh?"
"You can't do this!" You exclaim, though you can't deny the notion of getting fucked by him excites you.
"Sure I can," He replies casually while pulling down your bikini bottoms and running his fingers through your folds. "Look at how fuckin' wet you are and I've barely touched you yet. Does it turn you on when someone reminds you what a worthless whore you are?"
He pins your hands behind your back and soon slips his cock into you with no warning. You let out a cry as it slightly pains you to be filled without preparation, but he doesn't let up.
"Fits perfectly," Bucky mutters to himself as he starts sliding in and out of you.
"Bucky," You cry out, half in pain and half in pleasure, as much as you hate to admit.
"That's it, you stupid little girl," He says gruffly. "Take my fucking cock like the dumb slut you are. I deserve this - you know how much fuckin' money I could be making if it wasn't for you, you cunt?"
Loud moans and yelps leave your mouth as he rails you, fucking in and out of you hard. He doesn't care that it probably hurts you to be pushed against the wooden bench, he's too far gone. Pure rage has taken over and the only way he can let it out is on you.
He spanks your ass repeatedly, not satisfied until he leaves a mark. "Look at how fucking pathetic you are," He says, snapping his hips as he fucks you harder. Wrapping a hand around your throat, he pulls you up so you're standing up against his body. "That's it, take it, take it. That's a good little fucktoy."
The praise makes you preen as you let out a singing moan, making him smirk while he rips apart your bikini.
"You like that, huh?" He asks you smugly. "Like it when you fulfil your role as a fucktoy? Like making men like me happy? Being nothing but a human sexdoll for dirty old men like me, you slut?"
"Yes, Sir."
"That's it," He says with a grin, pawing at your tits as he continues fucking you. "There she is. That's a good little dummy, just like that. This is what you were made for, ain't it?"
"Yes, Sir," You reply obediently, officially cock drunk. "Made for you, Sir."
"That's it, dummy, such a good girl for me," He says between grunts while bringing his fingers down to your clit. "Don't you fuckin' dare cum. Got it?"
"I won't," You promise as bursts of electric pleasure coarse through you.
Suddenly, you hear a thump from the left. You turn with a gasp to the doorway to see Peter standing there wide-eyed as he watches the scene before him.
"Hey, Parker," Bucky says with a smirk, not stopping his thrusts. "Come to watch me fuck this dumb bitch's brains out?"
Peter's speechless. Between your naked body and Bucky's utterly disrespectful words, he's thrown for a loop.
"Don't be so scared," Bucky coos teasingly as he squeezes one of your boobs. "Wanna come and suck on her tits while I fuck her brains out, huh?"
Terrified, and incredibly turned on, Peter quickly spins on his heel and rushes away.
"Not that you have any fuckin' brains, anyway," Bucky adds bitterly, slapping your tit. "You're just an airheaded bimbo, absolutely nothing going on up there, huh?"
Incoherent moans are all you can let out, proving his point. He chuckles smugly, pulling on your nipples while fucking you harder. Slowly, he lowers one of his hands down to your stomach.
"Feel me right there, dummy?" Bucky asks you. "Feel my big cock filling you up? Say it, you dumb slut."
"I- I can feel your-"
"Louder," He booms.
"I can feel your cock filling me up, Mr. Barnes," You say as clearly as you can.
"That's right," He says as his thrusts become sloppier. "Fuck. You're such a good little fuckdoll, gonna make me cum so quickly. You ready for it?"
You suck in a sharp breath as your core tightens. "Can I-"
He grabs your chin harshly, shutting you up. "Don't be stupid, dummy," He utters lowly. "Fuckdolls don't need to cum. All you need to do is shut the fuck up and take my seed. Got it?"
"Yes, Sir," You let out with a sob, desperate to reach your orgasm. "Please."
Bucky tuts. "Aw, poor thing," He chuckles cruelly. "Tell me how badly you wanna cum right now."
"Please, Sir, I need to cum so badly," You cry as he continues driving his cock into your cunt. "I'm so close, so close."
"Fuck," He utters gruffly. "Take my cum, dummy. That's it, take it all."
With a loud groan, he spills into you, filling you with his cum as he continues to pump in and out. You fall forward and he lets you fall onto the bench with a soft thump.
"Oh, fuck," Bucky mumbles between heavy breaths, rubbing his face. "Shit. Came so fucking hard."
You're left a frustrated, whimpering mess, letting out weak begs for him to let you cum.
Bucky simply pulls his trunks up and slaps your ass one last time before turning and walking towards the exit. "Finish yourself off, slut," He says lowly before leaving you alone.
bucky masterlist
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Roads go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star.
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
- J.R.R. Tolkien
series summary: Life as a single mother of a three year old certainly has its struggles. But when a sweet stranger makes his way into you and your little boy’s life, a one of a kind connection sparks.
don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for
pairings: sam wilson x reader
summary: you try hide your bad days from Sam but he knows you too well. (Based on What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish.)
warnings: depression, mention of bad relationship with parents, angst, fluff, sam being the best boyfriend. I think that's it?
word count: 1559
a/n: my first Sam fic YAY!
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
It’s been 3 days since you last saw Sam, not because he was on a mission or fighting a giant purple-thumb looking alien but because you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you the way you are right now.
Things had been tough since you graduated college, you had your degree, you’d done everything your parents had asked of you, but you’d never really done anything that you wanted. Your parents didn’t seem to care what you did now, you’d gotten your degree, you’d moved to the city, you’d got away. They’d “done their job” they told you, but what were you meant to do now.
That’s what has been on your mind the last few months and all the stress has finally caught up with you. You weren’t leaving the house, you were hardly eating, you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks. Then there was Sam, you’d been pretending to be okay around him, and it was killing you. You couldn’t do it anymore so you’d been avoiding him, first not going to his apartment, then cancelling plans, and now avoiding his text messages. It only made you feel worse but you couldn’t let him see you this way. He’d probably break up with me.
You had bags under your eyes from the 2 hours of sleep you were getting each night, your eyes were red and irritated by the countless tears that had fallen from them. You hadn’t showered since you last saw Sam and that was only because he surprised you with a picnic in the park.
You’d tried to enjoy that day but all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry, to forget about everything else. But more than anything you wanted Sam, wanted him to hold you, to tell you everything would work out, but that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t have him realise what a mess you were, you couldn’t risk him leaving you.
So that’s how you ended up here, curled up into a ball in the dark on your sofa, crying quietly into your blanket and ignoring the feeling of a slight buzz from your phone beside you. You didn’t know who it was and quite frankly at this point you didn’t care. It had been like this since you woke up, you have no idea how long it’s been, and you had no intention of finding out. That would make you feel worse, knowing you’d wasted another day. You had no intention of moving at all, and that didn’t change when you heard a knock at your door. Just leave it, they’ll go away soon. But they didn’t, they kept knocking and knocking, until Sam’s voice came through the hard wood. His warm and gentle voice being the only thing breaking your almost comatose state.
“Y/N? I know you’re in there, please I just need to see that you are okay. Please?” You felt your heart break as his voice cracked with his last word.
You freeze at first, not knowing what to do. If you didn’t answer you were 90% sure he would kick your door down. So you did the only thing you could do and walked slowly towards the door, cracking it open slightly, not even removing the chain.
His head fly’s up from the spot he was staring at on the ground when he hears your door creak open.
“Hi Sam.”
“Y/N,” He goes to push the door open only to be met with the resistance of the chain. “Can you open the door properly? Please?”
You don’t really want to let him into your depressive bubble but at the same time you wanted him, his warmth against your skin, the smell of his cologne that always made you feel safe. So you nod slightly and remove the chain.
He immediately steps in and pulls you towards him. Your head finds its usual spot against his chest and his warmth seeps into you which instantly makes you feel a little bit lighter.
“Thank god.” Sam sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around you, bringing his left hand up to the back of your head to cup it slightly. “I thought something had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone all day, I was so worried about you baby.”
All day? You had no clue that much time had passed, and now you were angry at yourself for worrying Sam, he doesn’t deserve all this. He deserves someone better.
You start to feel your eyes burning as more tears threaten their escape. “I’m sorry Sammy.”
“Hey, none of that, okay? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Sam had kind of guessed what was happening, sure he mostly had experience working with Vets with PTSD, but he definitely knew the tell tale signs of depression. So when you started to pull away, and started acting not quite like yourself he had made sure to clear his schedule as much as he could to be there for you.
“I.. I don’t really know.”
“That’s okay baby. Can I stay with you for a bit?”
You shake your head against his chest and start to pull away from him as it hits you how you look, how your apartment looks. Panic starts to overtake every other emotion already running though you. “Oh my god. The mess and I haven’t even- I look so gross and I didn’t-“
Sam cuts you off before you can spiral more. “Hey, take a breath. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, nothing is okay anymore.” He guides you to the sofa gently and sits beside you, slightly turning himself in your direction.
“Try and breathe for me, okay? In and out. Copy me.” You try to listen and copy his breathing. “That’s it, good girl. You're doing such a good job baby.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“What do you mean?” He replies, with a hint of confusion.
You shake your head before continuing. “No, I don’t want to burden you Sam. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand.” You were so sure he’d leave, there was no way he could want to stay with you now. Right? Deep down you knew your brain was lying to you but you didn’t have it in you to fight what it was so easily telling you.
“Baby,” He looks at you with pure concern and love in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me what’s wrong, you can tell me anything.”
You look down and start to play with your sleeves before you answer him. “It’s not what you’re made for, you don’t deserve to have to pick up all the pieces everytime I fall apart. You deserve someone who’s happy, and I…” You pause to try and figure out how to say what you are feeling. “I think I forgot how to be happy.” It comes out as an almost whisper, in fear of it chasing him away.
Sam’s heart breaks hearing how you are feeling, he’s never felt this much love for someone or something before and wants nothing more than for you to be okay. He needs you to know how much you mean to him.
“Y/N, look at me?” You shakily bring your eyes back up to him. “That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”
The tears had managed to find an escape route now, and were freely rolling down your cheeks. You knew Sam loved you, he’d told you every chance he got and you hated that your brain could convince you otherwise.
“I love you Sam.” He brings his lips to your forehead and places a gentle kiss.
“And I love you too, so much, and whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?”
“Okay..” You weren’t ready to talk yet, you just wanted him. “Could you just hold me for now?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
He lays back on the sofa and brings you into his lap. Your head finds its place in his chest again, seeking his warmth. Things were silent for a few moments, each of you soaking up the feeling of being close with one another, until your stomach rumbling broke the silence.
“Baby?” he asks gently but concerned.
“Hmm?” You know where this is going but you try to play innocent.
“Have you eaten anything today?” You shake your head in embarrassment that you hadn’t managed to do that.
“Want me to order something in?” You nod against him. “The usual?”
“‘Mhmm. Can you get some of the-“
“Chocolate dumplings.” You say together which makes you both laugh, your first real laugh in a while and it feels nice.
“How could I not?” Sam says as he playfully rolls his eyes. “But until there’s a knock at the door I’m not letting go of you.” He squeezes you extra tight to show you he’s not kidding.
Omg I’m in tears 😭😭😭😭 this part hit me square in the chest
“I think I forgot how to be happy.”
And then this was when I absolutely lost it!!! I wish Sammy could comfort me in moments like this
“That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”
summary: You overhear Bucky’s conversation with your friends and assume the worst but you couldn’t have been more wrong.
warnings: ANGSTTT, fluffy ending, mention of marriage, more angst “I’m sorry i can’t help it), miscommunication.
word count: 3665
a/n: I’m in serious need of miscommunication fics (I'm a sucker for angst) so I’d be grateful for any recommendations!! Enjoy <3
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
“Buck? Can you pass my clothes?” You had just stepped out of the shower and realised you left your clothes in your room, but Bucky didn’t answer. “Buck?” He still didn’t answer so you wrapped your towel around you and headed through to see the room empty. You begin to get dressed before you hear Sam’s voice from the living room, he wasn’t supposed to be here for another half hour. Every week Bucky and Sam took it in turns to host dinner for the three of you and Sam’s girlfriend, Olivia. This week was yours and Bucky’s turn to host and you were super excited to serve your new recipe. Hearing the voices made you even more excited, but stressed as you still had some cooking to do before they were supposed to be here. You finish getting dressed and apply a little bit of makeup as quickly as you can. These dinners weren’t formal so it didn’t take long to get ready, they were mostly just so Sam and Bucky had some comfort after their missions, especially recently with them having to deal with John Walker. You take one last look in the mirror before heading through, until you hear something that stops you in your step.
“I mean I can’t say I’m surprised.. one look at you two and it’s obvious,” Sam tried to whisper but failed. “how are you gonna do it?” Do what? You were confused what they were talking about, part of was tempted to interrupt but your curiosity took over.
“I don’t know.. It’s just..” Bucky was stuttering which he only did when he was nervous, this really made you worry about what they were talking about. “It’s just she’s different from other girls, you know? And I know we haven’t been together that long but I can’t do it anymore. Do what anymore? “It’s not like I don’t love what we have but I just feel like I need more” More? You couldn’t help but overthink what you were hearing. They were talking about you, you weren't enough for him. I mean sure you’d thought that about yourself so many times but hearing it from the man you truly thought was the love of your life hurt.
“I know what it’s like when you find the one, it’s the best feeling in the world.” You couldn’t see this but Sam had kissed Olivia’s head after his words. “This is gonna be good for you man, I’m happy for you.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to hear anymore, the tears were already fighting their way out. You quietly walk back into your bedroom and try and calm down, you just had to get through tonight, just tonight and then you and Bucky could talk. You were at your happiest with Bucky, you thought Bucky was too but.. you didn’t even want to finish that thought. Bucky’s happiness was the most important thing to you, and if that meant he wasn’t with you anymore you would have to find a way to get through that. No matter how hard it would be for you, you just wanted him to be happy.
You took a few minutes to compose yourself, your eyes were red and a little puffy but not enough for anyone to notice. You hoped anyway. This time when you left your bedroom you made sure to close the door loud enough so they could hear you coming and hopefully change the subject.
“Hey guys, you’re early.” you said as you walked in, Sam and Olivia both stood up to give you a hug as you came in.
“Yeah sorry we were just a couple blocks over and it didn’t make sense going all the way back home just to come out again,” Sam replied with a smile. “Buck said it was okay.”
“Of course it is, you guys are always welcome, you know that!” You were surprisingly good at keeping how you really felt hidden, but with your words you couldn’t help but think you would lose Sam and Olivia as friends when Bucky ended things between you, they were technically Bucky’s friends first but you’d grown to see them as practically family as your relationship grew. You tried to push that thought away, you just had to get through tonight you kept repeating to yourself in your head.
“You okay doll?” Bucky asks as he wraps his arms around you. You plaster on a smile hoping he wouldn’t sense anything being wrong.
“Course! Just need to check on the food.” Normally Bucky’s touch helped you in situations like this but with what you heard his touch was only making you feel worse. You manage to untangle yourself from his arms and head to the kitchen. You notice that the ingredients and glasses were still laying out for the drinks you’d planned to make. “Do you guys want any drinks?”
“Yes please!” Sam and Bucky replied at the same time.
“I’ll help you.” you heard Olivia say through the wall. It only takes a couple seconds before she’s standing next to you in the kitchen. You and Olivia were like best friends, and she’s the reason you and Bucky were together. You had worked together for a few years, you drifted a little when she left that job but it only took one reunion dinner to get your friendship back to normal. That was 2 years ago, and from that night on she had insisted on setting up you and Bucky. It took a while for the meeting to actually happen but once it did you knew he was the one for you. Was. Not anymore.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Olivia asks quietly, she was aware of Bucky’s super soldier hearing and wanted to talk to you alone.
You nodded and forced another smile. “Just a busy week, my boss is still being a dick.”
“Ugh, you deserve so much better than having to work for that guy. He’s a creep.” She said at a normal volume now. “You should send Bucky after him, make him know he can’t treat you like that just cause he’s the boss.” She brings her hands up to put air quotes around ‘boss’, as he’s only technically the boss for the month while your real boss was on vacation.
“I’ll manage.” You tried to play it off, you wouldn’t have Bucky there to help you soon, and you needed to stand up for yourself.
“You know he would do anything for you.”
“You think?”
“Yep. I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“Hmm.” you mumbled. “Here,” You pass her two glasses with drinks in it. “take these and I’ll bring the other two once i’ve checked the food.”
“Okay,” She starts to walk about but turns at the last minute, “It smells good by the way, I can’t wait.”
“Thanks” you laughed as she walked away. She could tell there was something different with you tonight but she couldn’t figure out what was wrong, it felt like it was more than just your boss being a dick.
You tried to take as long as you could checking the food without it being too long that someone would notice. After just under 10 minutes you walk through. “Dinner should only be a little longer.” You pass a glass to Bucky and keep one for yourself, normally you’d sit close to Bucky but tonight you kept your distance, opting for the armchair in the corner. Bucky thought this was weird but he kept it to himself.
“So, what did I miss?” You hoped they would somehow be able to explain away what you heard but your hope didn’t last long as they started to talk about Sam’s plans to get a lizard.
“Sam, we’re not getting a lizard,” Olivia replied, “if you insist on getting a pet why can’t it be a normal one like a cat or a dog.” This only reminded you of the plans you and Bucky made to adopt a cat, this was torture. Everything was reminding you of what you were about to lose.
“I’ll look after it babe, you won’t even have to touch it.” Sam tried pleading.
“And when you’re away on missions?” Olivia argued back playfully.
“Okay, you got me.” You laughed a little at Sam releasing this was one battle he was going to lose. “What about you guys? You still planning on getting a cat?”
Bucky looked at you as Sam asked the question, how were you supposed to answer this when you didn’t even know the answer anymore, luckily Bucky notices the panic on your face and jumps in to answer.”
“Yeah man, we just have to find the time to get to the shelter.”
“See,” He turns his head to his left, staring at his girl, “Y/n let’s Bucky get the pet he wants.” He was only teasing, he knew logically he couldn’t get a lizard but it was fun to pretend.
“Lizards and cats are not the same thing.”
“Y/n/n help me out here please” Sam pleads to you.
“Sorry Sam, I’m on Olivia's side here.” You reply whilst laughing.
“Traitor” he mumbles under his breath making everyone laugh. Bucky noticed it wasn’t your real laugh but he wasn’t sure why. Normally you loved bantering back and forth with them.
You kept on chatting for 20 minutes before the oven timer went off, just in time as Bucky was about to tell an embarrassing story about you.
“Ah! Saved by the bell” you joked.
“Don’t think I won’t forget to tell it after dinner!” Bucky shouts through, and you can’t help but laugh before thinking about it deeper. Was that one of the things he couldn’t do anymore, was he really embarrassed by you?
You tried so hard to push those thoughts away and focus on getting through the dinner, you started plating up the food you were so excited about only an hour before. But you got lost in your thoughts again and picked up the hot tray with your bare hand, burning yourself in the process. “Shit.” The tray fell to the floor, luckily you had already plated everything and you were just moving it to the sink. Bucky rushes through and sees the tray on the ground and you gripping your hand towards your chest.
“What happened?” He comes towards you but you walk back away from him. “What’s wrong?” You could see the worry in his eyes but all you could think about was his words earlier. I can't do it anymore.
“I’m fine, Bucky.” You didn’t mean to but you snapped back at him.
“You’re not fine.” he moves closer and tries to reach for your hand but you pull it closer to you, he notices and steps back. “Y/n?” You don’t say anything. “Look please just run your hand under some cold water at least, please?”
“Can you just take the food through, I’ll be there in a minute.” You tried to hide the shakiness in your voice but he could hear it. This brought him back to the start of your relationship, you both struggled to open up to each other but he thought you had both gotten better at it, which is why he was extra worried.
He nodded, you hated yourself for being the reason he was sad, he didn’t deserve that. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay doll, just know I’m here for you okay?” You nodded but kept your gaze to the floor. He first grabs the tray with his left hand and puts it in the sink then picks up the plates and brings them through, having to make two trips. He doesn’t want to leave you but he wants to give you the space you asked for. You run your hand under the cold tap for a couple of minutes before drying it off and making your way to the table.
“You okay y/n?” Sam asks as you sit down next to Bucky, there were only 4 seats at the table so sitting next to him was your only option. Bucky turns to you, concern filling his eyes, he sends a smile your way and you try to send one back. He went to put his hand on your thigh but you see him stop himself and bring it back to his leg.
“Yeah, all good, just burnt my finger on a tray. How’s the food?”
“It’s amazing as always.” Olivia answers.
“Thanks again for having us over.” Sam adds
“It’s a new recipe, and no need to thank me. You know you are both welcome here anytime.” You reply, happy that they like it.
“Tastes great Doll.” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost like he was scared to speak, he had a slight smile growing as you turned to him.
“Thank you Bucky.”
The rest of the night went just like that, the four of you spoke about planning a trip to New Orleans, you felt yourself get excited about it but then grounded yourself, reminding yourself that it probably wouldn’t go ahead. Well, it maybe would, you just wouldn’t be there. Sam and Olivia stayed for a couple more hours, they couldn’t stay as late as usual as Olivia had picked up an early shift at work the next day. When they left you saw Sam and Bucky whisper something to each other, but you were too far to hear anything.
Now you and Bucky were alone, it had just been the two of you for 10 minutes and none of you had broken the silence until now.
“Y/n?” Bucky asks quietly, testing the atmosphere. You took the shakiness in his voice as a sign he was angry, when it was really because he was worried about you. You don’t say anything but bring your head up so you could see him. “Can we talk?” Oh god. This was it. He was gonna do it right now. You weren’t ready, you never would be but you couldn’t do this right now.
“Bucky, I’m really tired, could we talk in the morning?” You were desperately hoping he would say yes.
“Yeah..” He stands up and walks towards the bathroom, stopping slightly at you but speeds up again after a moment. “I’m gonna quickly shower then I’ll come to bed.”
“Okay.” Almost a whisper but he heard it.
You go through to your room and get changed, ignoring the mess in the kitchen. That was something you’d worry about tomorrow. You crawled into bed, facing the wall and tried to force the sleep to take over. It doesn’t take long for Bucky to come in next to you, you feel him hesitate but he wraps his arms around you and brings his mouth around to kiss your forehead. “I love you.”
You hoped he’d think you were sleeping, and not know you were pretending. You tried to find comfort in his touch but it only reminded you that this time tomorrow you probably wouldn’t have him wrapped around you. You could feel your eyes growing wetter as you thought about this but you forced yourself to stop before it turned into a full meltdown. That would for sure wake Bucky up. So you sat there in silence, sometimes you could hear a quiet mechanical murmur from Bucky’s arm, and sometimes the one big deep breath he takes every few minutes. By the time morning comes you only got about an hour of sleep, you were exhausted and anxious for what was going to happen today.
“Doll?” he pauses for a minute waiting for an answer, “Are you up?”
“Yeah, I'm up.” You don’t turn around to face him like you normally would, you keep your eyes on the wall.
“I was thinking we could go to your favourite cafe today? The one with the-” You interrupt him and turn around to face him, sitting cross legged.
“It’s okay Bucky.” He’s confused about what you mean so he stays quiet hoping you'll continue which you do. “I heard you talking with Sam and Olivia..” Bucky’s eyes nearly pop out of his head.
“You heard us?” Shit. He wanted it to be a surprise.
“I did. So can you just do it now? Get it over and done with, so we can both move on.”
“What? You want me to do it right now?”
“Yes. Please, just do it.” You knew you were coming across harsh but you needed this torture to end.
“Erm. Okay..” He stood up out of bed and walked over to his dresser, and started to dig through one of his drawers. “This isn’t really how I pictured doing this and I thought you’d be more excited but..” Excited? Why would you be excited over losing him? Once he finds what he was looking for he walks back over and brings himself down to his knees beside the bed.
“Bucky what-”
“My turn to talk doll..” What the hell was happening. “Y/n, you have been the best thing in my life since the very first day I met you. It might sound cliche but you’re the missing piece I always thought I’d never find. I know this might seem fast but..” He pulls a small box from behind his back. Oh my god. He was proposing. What. You wanted to stop him but the words wouldn’t come out, it was like your mouth was glued shut. “.. I don’t think I could ever feel happier than I do right now with you but It would mean the absolute world to me if you-”
“Wait!! Stop!” Bucky’s smile dropped. He’d been scared to ask you but he didnt think rejection was actually a possibility.
“What?” You stood up and started pacing back and forth, panic setting in.
“Oh my god Bucky. Stand up!” He stood up slowly and closed the ring box, the loud click making things even realer. “Bucky, what were you talking about with Sam and Olivia?”
“I thought you heard me? I was telling them I wanted to propose, I want to spend the rest of my time with you. This definitely isn't how I wanted it to go. I’m sorry if I.. I thought you’d want this too.”
“Oh my god Bucky. I am so sorry. I’m so sorry, I messed up.” You were beginning to lose control of your breathing and your eyes were starting to burn, you were still pacing back and forth. “I thought you wanted to end things, I thought you were done with us.”
“What?! Why did you think that?” He had never been so confused in his whole life.
“You told them you wanted more, and.. that I wasn’t like other girls.. and..” The tears had escaped now and it was hard to talk properly. “and you said you couldn’t do this a-anymore.”
“Oh baby.” Bucky walks over to you and pulls you gently to the bed, he sits next to you but keeps one of his arms wrapped around you. “I did say those things but not in the way you think. Did you listen to the rest of what we said?” You shook your head, which only made your growing headache worse. “When I said I wanted more I was talking about marrying you, in case you haven't figured that out by the -I don’t even know if i can call that a proposal- but doll, I want to marry you, I wanted to show you how much I love you and how serious I was about us.” He tries to turn himself slightly so he can see your face properly.
“I was right when I said you aren’t like other girls, I don’t want you to be like anyone else. I want you to be you, my girl. The girl I fell in love with the first day I met you. I’ve been planning to propose for a while but I couldn’t keep it in any longer, that’s what I meant when I said I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t wait any longer to ask you. I love you so much, doll.”
Oh god. You were so embarrassed. You had gotten everything so wrong. “Bucky, I'm so sorry. I didn’t, I don’t want things to end with us. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay baby, really it’s okay. I just wished you’d talked to me about it. You can come to me about anything, you know what right?”
“I do, I promise. I just panicked. I thought I was going to lose you.” Your breathing had started to slow down and you felt like you had control over it again.
“Nope. You’re never getting rid of me. I love you too much for that,” He brought his face down to yours and brushed your noses together before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “And I missed you way too much to ever let go of you again.”
“I love you too, Buck, so much.. but you’re squeezing me.” For the first time since you heard their conversation you had a real smile on your face and you laughed at him holding you so tight. You were happy. Bucky was happy.
“There’s the laugh I missed so much. Oh and,” he pulled away just for a second to look into your eyes, placing each of his hands on your shoulders and with a serious voice spoke again, “don’t for one second think that’s how my real proposal will go, I’m gonna make it special, just like you deserve.” he pulls you into his arms and lays you both down.
“I can’t wait, but before you do that..”
“Mhmm?”
“Can we go to the shelter today? I think it’s about time we got that cat.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me doll”
Maybe it wasn’t healthy how much yours and Bucky’s happiness relied on each other but for you two it worked. Things were perfect.
don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for
pairings: sam wilson x reader
summary: you try hide your bad days from Sam but he knows you too well. (Based on What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish.)
warnings: depression, mention of bad relationship with parents, angst, fluff, sam being the best boyfriend. I think that's it?
word count: 1559
a/n: my first Sam fic YAY!
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
It’s been 3 days since you last saw Sam, not because he was on a mission or fighting a giant purple-thumb looking alien but because you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you the way you are right now.
Things had been tough since you graduated college, you had your degree, you’d done everything your parents had asked of you, but you’d never really done anything that you wanted. Your parents didn’t seem to care what you did now, you’d gotten your degree, you’d moved to the city, you’d got away. They’d “done their job” they told you, but what were you meant to do now.
That’s what has been on your mind the last few months and all the stress has finally caught up with you. You weren’t leaving the house, you were hardly eating, you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks. Then there was Sam, you’d been pretending to be okay around him, and it was killing you. You couldn’t do it anymore so you’d been avoiding him, first not going to his apartment, then cancelling plans, and now avoiding his text messages. It only made you feel worse but you couldn’t let him see you this way. He’d probably break up with me.
You had bags under your eyes from the 2 hours of sleep you were getting each night, your eyes were red and irritated by the countless tears that had fallen from them. You hadn’t showered since you last saw Sam and that was only because he surprised you with a picnic in the park.
You’d tried to enjoy that day but all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry, to forget about everything else. But more than anything you wanted Sam, wanted him to hold you, to tell you everything would work out, but that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t have him realise what a mess you were, you couldn’t risk him leaving you.
So that’s how you ended up here, curled up into a ball in the dark on your sofa, crying quietly into your blanket and ignoring the feeling of a slight buzz from your phone beside you. You didn’t know who it was and quite frankly at this point you didn’t care. It had been like this since you woke up, you have no idea how long it’s been, and you had no intention of finding out. That would make you feel worse, knowing you’d wasted another day. You had no intention of moving at all, and that didn’t change when you heard a knock at your door. Just leave it, they’ll go away soon. But they didn’t, they kept knocking and knocking, until Sam’s voice came through the hard wood. His warm and gentle voice being the only thing breaking your almost comatose state.
“Y/N? I know you’re in there, please I just need to see that you are okay. Please?” You felt your heart break as his voice cracked with his last word.
You freeze at first, not knowing what to do. If you didn’t answer you were 90% sure he would kick your door down. So you did the only thing you could do and walked slowly towards the door, cracking it open slightly, not even removing the chain.
His head fly’s up from the spot he was staring at on the ground when he hears your door creak open.
“Hi Sam.”
“Y/N,” He goes to push the door open only to be met with the resistance of the chain. “Can you open the door properly? Please?”
You don’t really want to let him into your depressive bubble but at the same time you wanted him, his warmth against your skin, the smell of his cologne that always made you feel safe. So you nod slightly and remove the chain.
He immediately steps in and pulls you towards him. Your head finds its usual spot against his chest and his warmth seeps into you which instantly makes you feel a little bit lighter.
“Thank god.” Sam sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around you, bringing his left hand up to the back of your head to cup it slightly. “I thought something had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone all day, I was so worried about you baby.”
All day? You had no clue that much time had passed, and now you were angry at yourself for worrying Sam, he doesn’t deserve all this. He deserves someone better.
You start to feel your eyes burning as more tears threaten their escape. “I’m sorry Sammy.”
“Hey, none of that, okay? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Sam had kind of guessed what was happening, sure he mostly had experience working with Vets with PTSD, but he definitely knew the tell tale signs of depression. So when you started to pull away, and started acting not quite like yourself he had made sure to clear his schedule as much as he could to be there for you.
“I.. I don’t really know.”
“That’s okay baby. Can I stay with you for a bit?”
You shake your head against his chest and start to pull away from him as it hits you how you look, how your apartment looks. Panic starts to overtake every other emotion already running though you. “Oh my god. The mess and I haven’t even- I look so gross and I didn’t-“
Sam cuts you off before you can spiral more. “Hey, take a breath. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, nothing is okay anymore.” He guides you to the sofa gently and sits beside you, slightly turning himself in your direction.
“Try and breathe for me, okay? In and out. Copy me.” You try to listen and copy his breathing. “That’s it, good girl. You're doing such a good job baby.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“What do you mean?” He replies, with a hint of confusion.
You shake your head before continuing. “No, I don’t want to burden you Sam. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand.” You were so sure he’d leave, there was no way he could want to stay with you now. Right? Deep down you knew your brain was lying to you but you didn’t have it in you to fight what it was so easily telling you.
“Baby,” He looks at you with pure concern and love in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me what’s wrong, you can tell me anything.”
You look down and start to play with your sleeves before you answer him. “It’s not what you’re made for, you don’t deserve to have to pick up all the pieces everytime I fall apart. You deserve someone who’s happy, and I…” You pause to try and figure out how to say what you are feeling. “I think I forgot how to be happy.” It comes out as an almost whisper, in fear of it chasing him away.
Sam’s heart breaks hearing how you are feeling, he’s never felt this much love for someone or something before and wants nothing more than for you to be okay. He needs you to know how much you mean to him.
“Y/N, look at me?” You shakily bring your eyes back up to him. “That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”
The tears had managed to find an escape route now, and were freely rolling down your cheeks. You knew Sam loved you, he’d told you every chance he got and you hated that your brain could convince you otherwise.
“I love you Sam.” He brings his lips to your forehead and places a gentle kiss.
“And I love you too, so much, and whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?”
“Okay..” You weren’t ready to talk yet, you just wanted him. “Could you just hold me for now?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
He lays back on the sofa and brings you into his lap. Your head finds its place in his chest again, seeking his warmth. Things were silent for a few moments, each of you soaking up the feeling of being close with one another, until your stomach rumbling broke the silence.
“Baby?” he asks gently but concerned.
“Hmm?” You know where this is going but you try to play innocent.
“Have you eaten anything today?” You shake your head in embarrassment that you hadn’t managed to do that.
“Want me to order something in?” You nod against him. “The usual?”
“‘Mhmm. Can you get some of the-“
“Chocolate dumplings.” You say together which makes you both laugh, your first real laugh in a while and it feels nice.
“How could I not?” Sam says as he playfully rolls his eyes. “But until there’s a knock at the door I’m not letting go of you.” He squeezes you extra tight to show you he’s not kidding.
“I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”
This whole fic is… it hits really close to home and feels so so real. But that little bit of dialogue? THATS what gets me and broke me.
I know I (like many others) have felt exactly what Reader is going through but to have someone so kind and caring like Sam tell you it’s okay, they’re there for you, and you can rely on them to help build you back up? That’s just… so heartbreakingly perfect. 🥹😭💞
Thank you so much for creating and sharing this. It’s truly to its core absolutely perfect. 💞
summary: after one date with Bucky Barnes your life takes a turn for the worst.
warnings: awkward first date (kinda), violence, angst, fluff, sexual assault (warning just in case), kidnapping, sad bucky, sad reader, sadness lol (let me know if i forgot anything pleasee)
word count: 4170
a/n: enjoy :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
Your pinky finger was slowly inching towards his as he walked you up the steps to your door. It had been the perfect evening, starting off with a dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, then a couple games of mini golf followed by cheeseburgers because both of you agreed the portions at “WOZ” were nowhere near enough. You’d met Bucky through one of your friends, and if you were being honest the idea of dating an Avenger was very intimidating but she insisted you would be ‘perfect together’.
“Thank you for tonight Bucky, I had a really good time.” You’d grown more confident as the night went on but now that the date was ending you were back to your shy self. You didn’t want the night to end and even though you’d only met Bucky a few hours ago you had felt an instant connection. It really felt like how the movies made first dates look.
“I had a good time too, would..” He stops himself and you can tell he’s feeling nervous, so you smile up at him, silently asking him to continue. You see his shoulders loosen once he sees your smile, “..would you maybe wanna do this aga-..?”
“Yes.” You answer before he can even finish his sentence.
“You do?”
“I do.” You were internally beating yourself up for being so awkward but you couldn’t help but jump at the chance at seeing Bucky again. What you didn’t know that was Bucky was doing the same thing, Steve had always described him as being smooth with the ladies but right now it was like all his flirting skills had completely disappeared.
“I erm, I better get going, but I’ll call you!”
“I’ll be waiting!” You cringed at yourself, why did you have to be so awkward?
“See you doll.” Bucky flashes you a smile - which has become one of your favourite sights in the very short time you’ve known him - before he starts to walk down the steps. You wave to him as he walks away and wait until you can no longer see him before you close your door.
You drop your bag on the counter, untie your shoes and start to unzip your dress as you walk to your bedroom before a knock at your door stops you. You don’t think twice before going over and opening the knock, the only logical person it could be was Bucky. Right?
“Back alrea- Oh. Hi?” It wasn’t Bucky, it was a man with short black hair and tattoos and a black hood covering most of his face. “Can I help you?”
“You Y/N Y/L/N?” The man grunts at you in return.
“I am.. Who are you?” As soon as you answer him you regret it, it goes against every piece of advice you’d been given about being safe as a woman in the city.
“You don’t need to know who I am sweetheart.” Your heartbeat was beginning to speed up now, panic setting in fast. You try to close your door as quickly as you can but his foot stops you.
He begins to shake his head, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” he pushes forward and you fall backwards landing on the floor.
Your eyes were beginning to well up and you were frozen in fear, this was it wasn’t it? You’re gonna die right here.
“Stop being such a baby jesus fucking christ.” He paced around your apartment a little, his jacket moving slightly which makes the gun he has in the back of his jeans become visible.
“P-Please, you can take anything you want. Just please don’t hurt me” You pleaded to him, hoping somehow there was a tiny part of him that would listen.
“I’m not gonna hurt you.” You sighed deeply thinking there was a chance you’d get out of this alive, but if he wasn’t going to hurt you what was he planning to do?
“What do..what do you want from me?”
“I’m just here to take ya to the big man.”
You didn’t think you could feel any more scared than you already did, but the mention of “the big man” terrified you. Why were they targeting you?
“Do me a favour, would ya sweetheart? Stop talking.” He smirked down at you which only made you feel worse, it looked like he was enjoying this.
You were too scared to say anything else, and he was focusing on his phone instead of you. Part of you was tempted to try and escape but you were still frozen in fear, you had no defence skills and probably wouldn’t get very far and you really didn’t wanna piss this guy off anymore.
Around 10 minutes pass of you sitting on the floor, wracking your brain to find any reason as to why someone would want to kidnap you. You weren't anything special, and you hadn’t even lived in New York for that long.
“Get up. He’s ready for ya.” You get to your feet shakily and wait for him to tell you what to do next.
“Go on then.” He shoves you towards the door, and follows behind you. As you near the door you feel something hard against your back. “Make any noise and I’ll use it.” Shit. You didn’t say anything back, just nodding to show you understood.
After you get into his car he drives for what feels like hours to an underground garage, you tried to memorise the route you went but it was hopeless. You’d never been to this side of the city before. A few minutes walk later and you’re standing outside an office, you assume this is the guy who sent someone to hunt you down.
The door opens and you get pushed in, stumbling a little before you find your balance. There are two men waiting in there, who look you up and down before smirking.
“Soldier chooses them well.” The taller one says to his shorter friend.
“Sure does. Shame he’ll never see her again.”
Soldier? Are they talking about Bucky?
“What do you want from me?” You tried to keep your voice calm but you could tell it came out laced with fear.
“You’ll find out soon enough.” The shorter man walks towards you and trials his finger over the edge of your dress. “All you need to worry about is standing here and looking pretty, sweetheart.”
—-----
On the other side of the city the soldier in question was sitting discussing ‘the best night of his life’ with Sam, who was silently judging how his friend was acting.
“And everytime she told me a joke she'd wait a couple seconds before laughing to make sure I found it funny first. And when she laughs her nose scrunches up, it’s so adorable. And everytime i told her she looked nice she’d do this thing where she bites her lip and she can’t look me in the eye. It’s ad-“
“Adorable. I get it, Buck.”
Bucky blushes as he realises how long he’d been speaking about you, but he can’t help it. He’s never met someone like you before and he can’t stop thinking about you since he left your doorstep.
“How long is an acceptable time before I call her?” Bucky knows Sam is probably sick of hearing about you but he’s Bucky’s favourite (and only) person he feels safe enough to talk to, not that he’d ever tell Sam that.
Sam looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist before answering. “Not 3 hours Buck.” A frown appears on Bucky’s face to which Sam snickers at. “I thought you were a ladies man.”
“I was. Things are different now.” Bucky tries to force a smile out but he can’t. His voice grows a lot quieter as he continues. “Do you think she doesn’t want me to call?”
“Hey, I didn’t say that! The way you’ve described the night, it sounds like she feels the same as you.”
“Hm. Maybe.”
“Buck I’m serious, I was just joking before. I’m sure she’s waiting for your call.”
“So tomorrow?” Bucky asks with his smirk growing again.
Sam laughs, “Yeah, tomorrow.”
Safe to say Bucky does not wait until tomorrow, actually he doesn’t even make it another hour before texting you.”
Hey, it’s Bucky! Sorry if this is too soon but I had a really good time tonight. We need a rematch soon!
He spent a further 2 hours staring at the screen, with every minute that passed that the message was left on ‘delivered’ he picked apart his message more. He finally locks his phone and heads to his room for the night. But not without a lecture from Sam first. “You called her didn’t you?”
“No!” Bucky rushes to defend himself. “But hypothetically if someone was to text their date 4 hours after the date. How would that look?”
“Bucky! I thought you were waiting until tomorrow.”
“I tried.”
“Has she responded?”
Bucky shakes his head. “Is this what ghosting is? Oh god. Am I being ghosted?”
“Please for the love of god stop letting Peter teach you modern slang. You’re not being ghosted, it’s late she’s probably just sleeping. Bucky looks at the clock behind Sam and sighs in relief.
“You’re right. Okay, I’m gonna sleep too.” It was nearing 3am, no wonder you haven't replied to him he thought to himself.
Bucky gets around 4 hours of sleep before he gets woken up by his phone ringing. He answers it without looking at who it is. “You’ve got 3 hours to give me back my brother, or else your girl gets a bullet through her pretty little face.”
That wakes Bucky up faster than he ever has before. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You heard me, Soldier. Clock’s ticking.” The call ends.
Bucky freezes for a second trying to gain a little bit of understanding of what the fuck just happened. He pulls on the first piece of clothing he can find and runs towards the common room, hoping to find someone who can help him. Luckily the whole team is there, which is strange, normally the only time that happens is when there’s a mission going on.
Before Bucky can even begin to explain what’s happening, Fury pipes up. “Barnes, what do you know about a Y/N Y/L/N?”
“Fuck!” This means he wasn’t imagining that phone call. We had one date, literally just last night. What the fuck is going on?”
Half of the team moves so Bucky can see the big screen, and on it there’s a blown up picture of you, tied to a seat. Your dress is ripped, there’s blood dripping down the side of your face and your eyes are red, as if you’d been crying non stop for hours. Bucky walks slowly towards the screen and stops for a second to take in the picture, and almost instantly his brain switches to fighter mode.
“What do we know?”
“Bucky, maybe you should sit this one out.” Sam tries to reason with him, but Bucky doesn’t listen.
“What the fuck do we know?”
Fury begins to tell Bucky all the information they have. “It seems your girlfriend wa-“
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bucky wishes that statement wasn’t true, he wishes he could say you were his girl, but after this he was 100% sure that would never be the case.
“Okay.” Nick continues, wary of pissing Bucky off any more. “It seems Ms Y/L/N was taken from her home at around 11.30 last night. Her neighbours report seeing a black Audi sitting outside her apartment before she got home and say it left 30 minutes after you dropped her off. There’s no cameras in the area, her phone was left in her apartment so there is no way of tracking her. And just 30 minutes ago this picture was sent to my email. Along with a threat to her life if Zemo is not released from the raft in 3 hours.”
Bucky tries to process all the information, you were taken just 30 minutes after he left? Guilt. Zemo has a brother? Anger. They were threatening to kill you? Fear.
“I got a phone call a few minutes ago, said the same thing. Any leads on who this bastard is?”
“None. No one is aware of Zemo having a brother.”
Bucky nods along, “What’s the plan?”
“You said you got a call? We’ll get tech to try and track it..” Nat suggests, knowing it most likely won’t work but it’s their best bet right now. “..and when they call again at least we’ll be ready to track it.”
“You think they’re gonna be dumb enough to leave a trace?” Bucky snapped at Nat.
“It’s all we’ve got, Bucky. Look, we know you had some sort of relationship with this girl but you need to stay calm.”
“I’m trying.” Bucky’s voice breaks a little, showing everyone how he is really feeling.
A couple minutes pass of everyone thinking the same thing but being too afraid to say it, until Fury finally breaks the silence. “There’s no way we can let Zemo out.”
Bucky knows there’s no logical reason for them to listen to your kidnappers demands, he knows majority of the time they never stick to them, but the thought of you getting hurt anymore was too much to handle.
“You’re just gonna let her die?” He shouts across the table.
“Barnes I suggest you calm down or I’ll remove your clearance for this mission.” Bucky nods, knowing the best thing he can do right now is keep as calm as possible, panic will only make things worse. “As I was saying, I’m not willing to release Zemo from the raft, but we can make this brother of his think we are. When he next contacts us, we’ll let him believe we’re following what he is asking of us. Everyone got it?”
The room fills with a mix of mumbles, mostly consisting of ‘yes sirs’ and ‘got it’s’. Bucky stays silent. He’d finally found a girl he liked and she ends up in this situation, the guilt he was feeling was worse than anything he’d ever felt before, including the years of physical and mental trauma he’s been through.
Sam’s soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Buck? You okay?” For the first time since he learned of your danger Bucky’s face softens, and his eyes begin to grow wet.
“I don’t wanna lose her Sam.” Sam might not understand how Bucky feels this strongly about you in such a short amount of time but one thing he understands is that you are important to Bucky and that means you are important to him.
“We’ll get her back. Come on. Let’s suit up so we’re ready.”
—--
You made the mistake of asking for some water which resulted in you being slapped across the face with the back of a gun and tied up on a rickety old chair .You hadn’t spoken since. You’d accepted that it was just a matter of time before they killed you and part of you just wanted them to get it over with. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks and these men did not like that at all.
“Tell me again why we’re keeping her alive? Her crying is starting to get real boring.” One guy asks the other.
“Just shut her up will ya? I need to call them again” You try so hard to stop yourself from whimpering but the pain from the rope around your hands and the ache in your head hurts so bad and a couple of seconds later a rag is being stuffed in your mouth.
“Darling.. You get what this means?” He lifts his gun up and trails it along the side of your face. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You hold your breath, terrified that even a slight movement will make things worse. “Good girl.” His smile, it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever forget if you make it out of here alive.
The other man dials a number and puts it on speaker. “You got my brother yet?”
“He’s on his way to us. First we need some proof that Y/N is still alive.”
The man walks over to you slowly and takes the rag slightly out your mouth. “Tell them sweetheart.” You couldn't answer even if you wanted to, the fear being too much. He whips his gun against your head again making you cry out again. “Don’t make me ask again.”
“I.. I’m alive.” You had no idea who you were talking to, it was a voice you didn’t recognise but one you’d never forget, maybe, just maybe they’d be the one who saved you.
—---
“I.. I’m alive.” Bucky nearly breaks down right there at the sound of your voice, Sam's hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently.
“Why are you doing this?” Fury asks, he doesn’t really care why, he knows people like these guys have no moral compass but he’s trying to make the call last as long as he can so they can track it.
“You took my brother away from me, I’m only getting him back.”
“At the cost of an innocent life?”
“You mean her?” He scoffs. “Can’t be that innocent if she's dating the winter soldier.” Sam can feel Bucky’s shoulders tense under his touch at the mention of his past life. “Stop wasting my time, just get my brother back to me. I’ll send you an address in 1 hour. Be there or the girl dies.” The call ends before Fury can reply.
“We got them!” An agent Bucky doesn’t know shouts up from the back of the room. “Sir, we’ve got them.”
Bucky immediately makes his way over to where the agent is sitting and tries to read the computer but has no luck, it’s all in code. “Where is she?”
“Water Crescent Garage, on the other side of the city.” She replies, as she continues typing. “The jet will get you there in 15 minutes.”
“Let’s go.” Bucky’s out of the room before anyone can respond, running through the halls and reaching the jet before anyone else.
“Barnes, I’ll remind you. Stay calm or you’re off.”
“I know. I’m calm” He was most certainly calm. “Can we please just go?” His voice is dripping in desperation, he just wants you safe.
—-------
“Looks like Soldier wants you back, hmm?” The taller guy asks you, knowing you can’t answer him. “Maybe I’ll see what he’s getting every night huh?” He begins to run his fingers over your bare shoulder, nearing your neck and beginning to squeeze slightly. You try to move away but the rope keeps you in place. “This what he likes doing to you? He likes having control? He likes to own you?” He brings his other hand towards the zip on the side of your dress before an alarm stops him. He looks around to the other guy in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll go.”
The other guy grunts in response. Once the taller guy has left he walks towards you, gun in his hand. “You better hope your boyfriend isn’t trying something sweetheart. It won’t end well.” You don’t understand why these guys think you and Bucky were so serious, you’d only had one date.
You start to hear gunshots in the distance, getting closer and closer to you every second. You were praying the good guys were winning and that they were here to save you.
A few minutes pass when the door to your room bursts open and none other than Captain America himself walks in. It takes him less than 15 seconds to disarm and knock out the guy who was left with you, although it feels like longer for you. “Buck, I’ve got her.” He walks over to you and removes the cloth in your mouth.
Bucky was here. “Bucky?”
“Hey Y/N, I’m here to help okay?” He begins to untie the rope around your hands, careful to not hurt you. “Bucky’s on his way. It’s over.”
As Sam was untying your feet Bucky runs into the room and rushes over to you. His heart breaks when he sees you upclose. Your cheeks that were so rosy just last night were now white as a ghost, your lips once red were now blue and bruised, the sparkle he had just seen hours ago in your eyes was now replaced with fear.
You stand up with the help of Sam and look towards Bucky.
“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Sam, call the doc, let her know we’re coming.” Bucky's eyes are moving around your body, scouting out every injury he can find and taking note of it.
The only thing you can bring yourself to say is thank you, your lip wobbles as you say it and your voice is shaky with each word but Bucky understands. “Tha.. Thank you for saving me.”
He slowly reaches out to hold you against him, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if you want to. He wraps his arm around you, carefully avoiding anywhere that looks injured. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why they came after you. I promise as soon as I found out what was happening I started looking for you. I’m so sorry.”
You shake your head, he doesn't owe you an apology, none of this was his fault. The motion only makes you feel nauseous, and you feel as if you might throw up if you move anymore. “I can’t. I can’t.. I feel sick.” Bucky stops as soon as you ask.
“Can I carry you?”
“Please.” You were embarrassed to be feeling this weak but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just seemed sad.
—---
After you get seen by the avenger’s doctor and prescribed some pretty strong painkillers you finally arrive home. Bucky tried to get you to stay in for longer, he was worried you would be feeling worse once the shock had worn off but you insisted on coming home. You needed to be in your own space.
“I’ll make you some food, you wanna get changed out of those?” You weren’t really hungry but you couldn't bring yourself to say no. You did want to badly get changed out of the clothes Natasha had lent you, they were very tight.
“Thank you.”
Bucky wanted to tell you to stop thanking him, you should be angry at him and it was killing him that you were treating him with so much kindness after everything you’d been through at his fault.
Bucky makes you a sandwich, knowing you probably wouldn't be too hungry. “It’s just to get some food in you. Some water too.” He said as he handed you a plate and glass of water.
The next words that left Bucky’s mouth were ones he’d never wanted to say but it didn’t feel right staying with you after what he’d put you through. “Do you need anything else before I go?”
You nearly choke as you swallow that bite. He gets down to his knee and looks up at you. “You okay?” You immediately start crying, not even trying to hide it. “Hey, what's wrong?” You hadn’t been apart from Bucky since he found you, and now that he was leaving you felt so scared again.
“I don’t wanna be alone.” His heart breaks again at how soft your voice comes out, almost as if you were afraid to speak.
He wants nothing more than to stay with you, keep you safe but he feels that with every second he spends with you the more you'll be at risk.
“Is there anyone I can call to stay with you?”
“Could you?” You almost whisper to him.
“What was that?” He asks softly.
“Could you stay?”
“You really want me to?”
“I do.”
He almost, almost says yes before he remembers how you looked when he found you in that room. He stands up and backs away a little. “I don’t think I should.”
You try to stand up and walk towards him but get a bit dizzy as you do, grabbing onto his arm for balance. “Why not?”
“Doll, sit down.” He guides you gently back onto the couch. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”
“No Bucky, that’s not true. I really like you Bucky, and whilst this may not have been the second date we had in mind, I don’t want to lose you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same.”
“I never said I didn't feel the same way, I just.. I just can't put you in any more danger.”
“The way I see it, you saved me from danger. And I know now that you’ll always be there to save me. Please stay?” He nods.
don't tell my boyfriend, it's not what he's made for
pairings: sam wilson x reader
summary: you try hide your bad days from Sam but he knows you too well. (Based on What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish.)
warnings: depression, mention of bad relationship with parents, angst, fluff, sam being the best boyfriend. I think that's it?
word count: 1559
a/n: my first Sam fic YAY!
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
It’s been 3 days since you last saw Sam, not because he was on a mission or fighting a giant purple-thumb looking alien but because you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you the way you are right now.
Things had been tough since you graduated college, you had your degree, you’d done everything your parents had asked of you, but you’d never really done anything that you wanted. Your parents didn’t seem to care what you did now, you’d gotten your degree, you’d moved to the city, you’d got away. They’d “done their job” they told you, but what were you meant to do now.
That’s what has been on your mind the last few months and all the stress has finally caught up with you. You weren’t leaving the house, you were hardly eating, you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks. Then there was Sam, you’d been pretending to be okay around him, and it was killing you. You couldn’t do it anymore so you’d been avoiding him, first not going to his apartment, then cancelling plans, and now avoiding his text messages. It only made you feel worse but you couldn’t let him see you this way. He’d probably break up with me.
You had bags under your eyes from the 2 hours of sleep you were getting each night, your eyes were red and irritated by the countless tears that had fallen from them. You hadn’t showered since you last saw Sam and that was only because he surprised you with a picnic in the park.
You’d tried to enjoy that day but all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry, to forget about everything else. But more than anything you wanted Sam, wanted him to hold you, to tell you everything would work out, but that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t have him realise what a mess you were, you couldn’t risk him leaving you.
So that’s how you ended up here, curled up into a ball in the dark on your sofa, crying quietly into your blanket and ignoring the feeling of a slight buzz from your phone beside you. You didn’t know who it was and quite frankly at this point you didn’t care. It had been like this since you woke up, you have no idea how long it’s been, and you had no intention of finding out. That would make you feel worse, knowing you’d wasted another day. You had no intention of moving at all, and that didn’t change when you heard a knock at your door. Just leave it, they’ll go away soon. But they didn’t, they kept knocking and knocking, until Sam’s voice came through the hard wood. His warm and gentle voice being the only thing breaking your almost comatose state.
“Y/N? I know you’re in there, please I just need to see that you are okay. Please?” You felt your heart break as his voice cracked with his last word.
You freeze at first, not knowing what to do. If you didn’t answer you were 90% sure he would kick your door down. So you did the only thing you could do and walked slowly towards the door, cracking it open slightly, not even removing the chain.
His head fly’s up from the spot he was staring at on the ground when he hears your door creak open.
“Hi Sam.”
“Y/N,” He goes to push the door open only to be met with the resistance of the chain. “Can you open the door properly? Please?”
You don’t really want to let him into your depressive bubble but at the same time you wanted him, his warmth against your skin, the smell of his cologne that always made you feel safe. So you nod slightly and remove the chain.
He immediately steps in and pulls you towards him. Your head finds its usual spot against his chest and his warmth seeps into you which instantly makes you feel a little bit lighter.
“Thank god.” Sam sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around you, bringing his left hand up to the back of your head to cup it slightly. “I thought something had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone all day, I was so worried about you baby.”
All day? You had no clue that much time had passed, and now you were angry at yourself for worrying Sam, he doesn’t deserve all this. He deserves someone better.
You start to feel your eyes burning as more tears threaten their escape. “I’m sorry Sammy.”
“Hey, none of that, okay? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Sam had kind of guessed what was happening, sure he mostly had experience working with Vets with PTSD, but he definitely knew the tell tale signs of depression. So when you started to pull away, and started acting not quite like yourself he had made sure to clear his schedule as much as he could to be there for you.
“I.. I don’t really know.”
“That’s okay baby. Can I stay with you for a bit?”
You shake your head against his chest and start to pull away from him as it hits you how you look, how your apartment looks. Panic starts to overtake every other emotion already running though you. “Oh my god. The mess and I haven’t even- I look so gross and I didn’t-“
Sam cuts you off before you can spiral more. “Hey, take a breath. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, nothing is okay anymore.” He guides you to the sofa gently and sits beside you, slightly turning himself in your direction.
“Try and breathe for me, okay? In and out. Copy me.” You try to listen and copy his breathing. “That’s it, good girl. You're doing such a good job baby.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“What do you mean?” He replies, with a hint of confusion.
You shake your head before continuing. “No, I don’t want to burden you Sam. You can leave if you want to, I’d understand.” You were so sure he’d leave, there was no way he could want to stay with you now. Right? Deep down you knew your brain was lying to you but you didn’t have it in you to fight what it was so easily telling you.
“Baby,” He looks at you with pure concern and love in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me what’s wrong, you can tell me anything.”
You look down and start to play with your sleeves before you answer him. “It’s not what you’re made for, you don’t deserve to have to pick up all the pieces everytime I fall apart. You deserve someone who’s happy, and I…” You pause to try and figure out how to say what you are feeling. “I think I forgot how to be happy.” It comes out as an almost whisper, in fear of it chasing him away.
Sam’s heart breaks hearing how you are feeling, he’s never felt this much love for someone or something before and wants nothing more than for you to be okay. He needs you to know how much you mean to him.
“Y/N, look at me?” You shakily bring your eyes back up to him. “That’s exactly what I was made for, you’re everything to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Who was there when I beat myself up for Karli’s death? You. Who picked me back up again when I worked myself too hard? You did. So please, let me help you. Let me in. I will be here to pick up every little piece of you for as long as you will have me.”
The tears had managed to find an escape route now, and were freely rolling down your cheeks. You knew Sam loved you, he’d told you every chance he got and you hated that your brain could convince you otherwise.
“I love you Sam.” He brings his lips to your forehead and places a gentle kiss.
“And I love you too, so much, and whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?”
“Okay..” You weren’t ready to talk yet, you just wanted him. “Could you just hold me for now?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
He lays back on the sofa and brings you into his lap. Your head finds its place in his chest again, seeking his warmth. Things were silent for a few moments, each of you soaking up the feeling of being close with one another, until your stomach rumbling broke the silence.
“Baby?” he asks gently but concerned.
“Hmm?” You know where this is going but you try to play innocent.
“Have you eaten anything today?” You shake your head in embarrassment that you hadn’t managed to do that.
“Want me to order something in?” You nod against him. “The usual?”
“‘Mhmm. Can you get some of the-“
“Chocolate dumplings.” You say together which makes you both laugh, your first real laugh in a while and it feels nice.
“How could I not?” Sam says as he playfully rolls his eyes. “But until there’s a knock at the door I’m not letting go of you.” He squeezes you extra tight to show you he’s not kidding.
summary: you go against what you and bucky agreed, how will he react?
warnings: angst, pregnant reader, asshole bucky, none more i think?
word count: 1219
a/n: Bucky's a major ass in this but i have part two started if anyone is interested :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
You didn’t mean to mess up this bad, you just wanted a normal day, a day where you could leave the tower alone without an Avenger there to protect you.
You knew what you signed up for when you and Bucky became official. He had told you so many times that being with him put you at risk but you didn’t care, you loved him too much to be without him. He had insisted that since that day you would have someone there to protect you at all times, you knew it was in a loving way it was a lot to handle, and ever since you and Bucky discovered you were pregnant it had only gotten more intense. You knew it was for the better but it was suffocating you, which is why you went to the store alone this morning. It wasn’t far from the tower and you would be back within the hour, surely nothing could happen in that time?
On your walk home your phone started to buzz, and not just once but it kept buzzing until you opened the chat and the messages started loading in. They were from Sam, the first was a picture of you, from just 15 minutes earlier, you were reaching up to the top shelf in the store and your shirt had risen up, making your bump slightly more visible. How someone noticed that you have no idea. The rest of the text messages were fairly calm but the last one made you panic.
Sam
where are you?
let me know you’re okay please
Y/n are you safe?
He doesn’t know yet.
Shit. Bucky was going to be furious at you, he had told you so many times not to go out alone because of this very reason. Now everyone was going to know that you and Bucky had a baby coming. You and Bucky had both agreed that you would keep your pregnancy between as few people as possible, for the baby’s safety and now you’ve compromised that. Only the other Avengers, your family and a couple of friends knew about it.
Unintentionally you slowed your pace for the rest of your walk, sending Sam a quick text to let him know you were safe and on your way back. You were scared to face Bucky but at least you could tell him yourself before he found out online or by Sam.
It doesn’t take long even with your slow pace to get back, you hesitantly push the button for your floor, mentally preparing yourself for facing Bucky. He had been especially insistent on keeping your baby away from the public because of his long list of enemies and being a part of the Avengers meant that list was forever growing.
When the lift dings and the doors open you pause for a second before stepping out, first you check yours and Bucky’s bedroom but it’s empty so you head for the common room. When you walk in Bucky’s there, as well as Sam, Tony, Natasha and Steve. At first glance things look normal, and no one notices you walking in until you speak. “Hi..”
That’s when Bucky turns around, his jaw was clenched together, brows furrowed, anger practically seeping out of him. He knew. You want to apologise but you can’t manage to get any words out. A few seconds pass before Nat’s voice breaks the silence. “Are you okay Y/n?” You nod towards her, fidgeting with your fingers trying to distract yourself from the shouting match you knew was about to begin. You’d seen Bucky angry before but never this much and never because of you.
“Bucky, I’m so-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence before he interrupted you
“Did you not listen to anything I said to you? Did you really just ignore everything? I told you this would happen but what? You just did it anyway?“
“Buc-“ He wouldn’t listen, his words were spilling out of him. He didn’t even know what he was really saying. He was just so scared and angry at himself for not protecting you and your baby.
“You’ve seen what the people we deal with can do and you still acted like a complete idiot.” You could hear muffled sounds of Sam and Nat trying to stop him from going any further but all you could focus on was Bucky’s words.
“No. How could you make such a careless mistake?”
Your eyes were growing wetter with each word he said but you tried to keep yourself composed. You didn’t feel as if you had any right to be upset, you were the one who messed up.
“I wasn’t trying to..” You attempt to interrupt him and defend yourself but at this point you knew that was pointless.
“I mean seriously,” He pauses for a moment, contemplating his next words, “it’s like you don’t care about our baby at all.”
Oh. That one hurt. He had to know you cared right? Your baby was everything to you. Could he really think you didn’t care?
Tony had stayed quiet up until now. “Enough James!” He screeched from behind Bucky, “I won’t let you talk to Y/n like that, either calm down or leave my tower.”
You knew he was going to be angry at you but you were not prepared for this much of it. Bucky stares at you for a few seconds before he walks out, dropping his head down to your stomach and scoffing as he does so. Now it wasn’t just anger you felt from him, it was disappointment too.
You can’t bring yourself to move from the spot you’ve been standing in since you arrived, the only thing breaking you out of your trance was someone’s hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure who until they spoke. “Y/n? Are you alright?”
It was Sam, you manage to turn to him and stutter out, “I‘m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He brings his hand up to your head and pulls you gently towards him for a much needed hug. “He’s not angry with you, he’s just scared. It’s gonna be okay.”
“I just wanted to do something for myself, I don’t want to have to rely on an Avenger everytime I want to go to the store.”
“I know, he shouldn’t have gotten angry like that. I’m not making any excuses for him but he’s never felt love like he does for you. You and this baby are everything to him, he’s scared to lose you.”
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Your voice is quiet, almost too quiet but Sam can just hear you.
“I know he will, he just needs some time to cool down.” You nod your head against Sam’s chest, part of you knew Bucky would forgive you but an even bigger part of you believed you had messed up too bad.
You reach into your bag and take out the small white teddy you bought, when you read the words printed on its tiny outfit you start to cry harder. It read, “Best Dad Ever”, you just hoped Bucky would forgive you so you could give it to him.
If you could go back to this morning and change your decision you would. You just want things back the way they were.
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