Jesus christ I love humanity

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tannertan36

blake kathryn

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if i look back, i am lost

#extradirty
occasionally subtle
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Not today Justin

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
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@xanadu-702
Jesus christ I love humanity
Vernon's Younger Sister is dating Bayverse!TMNT (part 2)
First part
Leonardo:
The rooftop terrace of LâAura, one of Manhattanâs most exclusive restaurants, offered a breathtaking view of the city skyline. Vernon Fenwick, wearing a tailored suit that cost more than his first car, was ignoring the view entirely. Instead, he was aggressively adjusting his sisterâs collar.
"Vernon, stop it," she sighed, swatting his hands away. "Iâm perfectly fine."
"You are fine, yes. But tonight, you need to be radiant," Vernon insisted, leaning in close. "Listen to me, Bradley isn't just a guy. He's the executive vice president of acquisitions at the network. Heâs got a summer house in the Hamptons. He owns a boat. A yacht, actually. Heâs the kind of guy who can get 'The Falcon' prime-time syndication."
The girl casually sipped her sparkling water. "I don't like boats, Vern. I get seasick."
"You can take Dramamine!" Vernon hissed, leaning closer. "Look, Iâve already laid the groundwork. I told him you're smart, independent, and completely single. Heâs going to walk over here in about two minutes. Just smile, laugh at his jokes, even the golf ones, and let the magic happen."
"So, you're pimping me out for a better time slot?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I am networking, and you are benefitting," Vernon corrected, looking around nervously to make sure no one had heard her. "It's a mutually beneficial introduction. You need someone stable, someone with a 401k, not another one of those... indie musicians you used to date."
"Vern, I've told you three times already. I can't meet Bradley. I'm seeing someone," she said firmly, checking her watch. "And he's supposed to pick me up any minute."
Vernon let out a scoff that was half-laugh, half-wheeze. "Seeing someone? Who? Be reasonable. Whoever this guy is, he doesn't have a yacht. He can't offer you the kind of securityâ"
"He's very secure, Vern. Trust me."
"Is he a VP? Does he have a corner office?" Vernon pressed, crossing his arms. "Look, just humor me. Meet Bradley. Shake his hand. I guarantee this 'boyfriend' of yours will pale in compâ"
A sudden, chilling rush of wind swept across the terrace, extinguishing the candles on the nearest tables.
Vernon felt the temperature drop. He turned around, expecting to see a sudden storm rolling in off the Hudson. Instead, he saw a shadow detach itself from the high stone parapet of the roof.
Leonardo landed on the terrace with absolutely no sound.
The blue bandana trailed in the wind, and his sharp, disciplined gaze locked immediately onto the girl.
"Leo," she smiled, stepping past her frozen brother. "You're right on time."
"Apologies if I caused a disturbance," Leonardoâs voice was deep, calm, and carried an undeniable weight of authority. "The perimeter was highly secure. I had to take the scenic route up the elevator shaft."
Vernonâs jaw had unhinged. All the color drained from his face, leaving him looking like a very expensive ghost. He looked at his sister, then at the giant, sword-wielding mutant turtle, and then back at his sister.
"You..." Vernon squeaked, his voice entirely failing him. "He... This...? L-Leo. Leonardo. What a... what a surprise."
The girl linking her arm casually with Leo's massively thick bicep. She looked back at her pale, shivering brother. "Vernon was just trying to set me up on a blind date. Right before my actual boyfriend arrived."
Leoâs eyes snapped back to Vernon. The softness vanished.
Vernon felt his soul briefly leave his body. He suddenly remembered that Leonardo wasn't just a mutant turtle; he was a highly trained, lethally armed ninja master who took the concepts of honor and respect extremely seriously.
"Iâit was a misunderstanding!" Vernon blurted out, holding his hands up defensively. "A clerical error! I didn't know! She kept you a secret! Which, frankly, given the whole 'living in the sewers' thing, makes sense, but still! Bradley? Bradley is a nobody! A parasite! He doesn't even own a real yacht, it's a pontoon boat! Total loser!"
Leo took a single, measured step toward Vernon. He didn't look angry, which somehow made it worse. He looked perfectly, terrifyingly calm.
"I see. Mr. Fenwick," Leo began, his voice low and formal. "I understand that as an older brother, you wish to ensure her future is secure and advantageous. It is an honorable instinct. However..." Leoâs gaze seemed to pierce right through Vernonâs designer suit. "...I assure you, she requires no other 'arrangements.' She is under my protection, and I take my duties very seriously. Do we have an understanding?"
Vernon swallowed a lump the size of a golf ball. "Crystal. Crystal clear. Complete understanding. We are on the same page of the exact same book."
"Excellent," Leo said, giving Vernon a sharp, respectful nod. He turned his attention back to girl, his voice softening again. "I located a quiet rooftop garden in Brooklyn that is secure. Shall we?"
"Sounds perfect," She said. She offered Vernon a little wave. "Bye, Vern!"
With a swift, graceful motion that belied his massive size, Leo scooped the girl up into his arms. He offered Vernon one last, stoic glance, then fired a grappling hook into the darkness above, pulling them both up and away into the New York skyline, leaving only the rustle of ivy behind.
Vernon stood alone on the terrace for a long time.
"Well," Vernon whispered to the empty air, adjusting his collar with shaking hands. "That went perfectly."
Raphael:
The ice in Vernon Fenwickâs tumbler clinked loudly, betraying the slight tremor in his hand. He took a sip of his overpriced Scotch, adjusted the collar of his cashmere sweater, and checked his reflection in the floor-to-ceiling windows of his penthouse.
"Hey," Vernon called out, his voice cracking just a fraction. He cleared his throat and tried again, aiming for his practiced, deep-register 'Falcon' voice. "Are you almost ready? Because, you know, punctuality is key. And with... with him, I imagine it's best not to keep him waiting."
The girl strolled out of the guest room, adjusting the strap of her leather jacket. She looked completely unfazed. "Relax, Vern. He's picking me up, not breaking in to steal the flat-screen."
"He's a seven-foot-tall amphibious tank with anger management issues," Vernon hissed, rushing over to her. He kept his voice low, as if the turtle might already be clinging to the side of the skyscraper. "Look, I get it. The bad boy appeal. But couldn't you have gone for a misunderstood musician? A guy with a motorcycle? Why did it have to be the one who bench-presses delivery trucks?"
"Raph has a motorcycle," she pointed out with a smirk.
"That doesn't help!" Vernon rubbed his temples. "Just... please tell me you're going somewhere public. Well, as public as you can get with a giant ninja."
Before she could answer, a heavy, dull THUD rattled the reinforced glass of the balcony doors. Vernon jumped nearly a foot in the air, spilling a few drops of Scotch onto his Persian rug.
Beyond the glass, an immense silhouette blotted out the New York City skyline.
The girl smiled and walked over, unlocking the door and sliding it open. The night air whipped into the penthouse, and Raphael stepped inside.
He was a mountain of scarred green muscle, wrapped in tactical gear and worn leather. His eyes swept the room with an innate, predatory alertness before landing on the girl.
His rigid posture immediately relaxed. The permanent scowl etched into his jawline softened into something resembling a smirk. "Hey. You look good."
"Thanks," she said, stepping up to him. She looked tiny next to him, but perfectly at ease. "You didn't get spotted on the way up, did you?"
"Nah. Stuck to the shadows. Donnie jammed the cameras on this block anyway." Raph's gaze shifted over her shoulder, locking onto the cameraman shivering by the minibar. The smirk vanished, replaced by his standard-issue glare. "Fenwick."
Vernon swallowed hard. His survival instinct screamed at him to hide behind the Italian leather sofa, but his ego demanded he act like the man of the house. He forced a smile that looked more like a grimace and pointed a finger gun at the mutant.
"Raph! Big guy. Looking... vascular. Very green. Very intimidating." Vernon took a cautious step forward, carefully keeping at least ten feet of distance between them. "Listen, since you're taking my little sister out, I feel it's my duty as her older brother, and as a decorated hero of this city, to lay down a few ground rules."
Raph slowly crossed his massive, tape-wrapped arms. The muscles in his neck flexed. "Rules."
"Exactly. Just a few." Vernon's voice went up an octave. "Curfew. Let's talk curfew. I think a reasonable time to have her back would be..." He trailed off as Raph took a single, heavy step forward. The floorboards practically groaned. "...whenever is entirely convenient for both of your schedules! No rush! The night is young!"
The girl sighed, shaking her head. "Vern, stop embarrassing yourself."
Raph let out a short, breathy huff of amusement. He looked back down at her. "We're just grabbing ready-made food, then maybe taking the bike for a spin up the coast. Safe and quiet."
"Sounds perfect," she said.
Raph looked back at Vernon, his expression deadpan but his eyes glinting with a clear, unspoken warning. "She'll be back when she's back, Fenwick. I've got her."
"I know you do! I have absolute faith in you!" Vernon practically shouted, offering a frantic thumbs-up. "Take my Amex if you need it! Buy her a lobster! Buy yourself a... a whole cow!"
"I don't eat cows, Vern," Raph grunted. He placed a massive, three-fingered hand gently on the small of girl's back, guiding her toward the balcony. "Let's go. Mikey's testing a new pizza cannon in the sewers and I want to be out of the city before he blows the grid."
"Have fun," Vernon called out weakly as they stepped onto the balcony.
His sister waved, and with a swift, powerful movement, Raph grabbed the edge of the roof above and vaulted them both into the night sky, disappearing into the shadows of the city.
Vernon stood in silence for a long moment, listening to the wind howl through the open door. Slowly, he walked over, slid the glass shut, and locked it. He took a long, deep breath, finally letting his shoulders drop.
"Nailed it," Vernon muttered to himself, draining the rest of his Scotch. "Showed him exactly who's boss."
Donatello:
She sat cross-legged on a spectacularly mismatched, neon-orange beanbag chair, nursing a mug of tea that Donatello had somehow brewed using a modified Bunsen burner.
To her left, the cavernous space echoed with the distant, rhythmic thud of Raphael wailing on a heavy bag, punctuated occasionally by Michelangelo screaming something incomprehensible as he launched himself off a half-pipe on his skateboard.
But right here, in Donnieâs designated workspace, it was a bubble of focused, humming energy.
Donatello sat (or rather, hunched) at the center of a massive, semicircular console made of repurposed server racks, glowing monitors, and tangled cables. His shell was laden with mechanical apparatuses, his custom-built optical headset whirred softly as the lenses zoomed in and out, and his long, tape-wrapped fingers flew across three different keyboards simultaneously.
"Okay, so if I bypass the secondary firewall," Donnie muttered, his voice a low, thoughtful rumble, mostly talking to himself. "I can route the city's traffic grid data through the old subway lines without tripping the NSA's... wait. No. That's a terrible idea. Leo would kill me."
The girl smiled, taking a sip of her tea. "Something wrong with the traffic lights?"
"Just optimizing," Donnie said, spinning around in his reinforced swivel chair. He pushed his optical goggles up onto his forehead, blinking his large, expressive reddish-brown eyes as they adjusted to the dim light of the lair. "I noticed the sequencing on 42nd Street was off by 0.4 seconds, which is creating a butterfly effect of gridlock all the way to Queens. Itâs highly inefficient. It offends me."
"You're a mutant ninja turtle who moonlight as a city planner," she laughed. "I love it."
Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, a bashful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Well, you know. Idle hands and all that."
Suddenly, a sharp, repetitive beeping cut through the hum of the servers. One of Donnieâs auxiliary monitors flashed bright red, displaying a pop-up window with a highly-filtered, glossy headshot of Vernon Fenwick.
INCOMING TRANSMISSION: THE FALCON.
Donnie let out a long, weary sigh, his shoulders slumping under the weight of his gear. "I thought I blacklisted his IP address," he grumbled, typing a quick command. "How does he keep finding backdoors into my system?"
"He's a journalist, Donnie. Annoying people is his actual superpower," she said, resting her chin on her hand. "What does he want this time?"
Donnie tapped a key, routing Vernon's text message onto the main holographic display.
Vernon: Sis, if you are with the computer one, ask him why my smart-shower is suddenly playing death metal and the water is freezing. Also, ask him if he can hack the DMV, I got a parking ticket on 5th Ave and it's completely unjustified.
The girl groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "Please ignore him. Seriously, Don. Block him. Nuke his router from orbit."
"It's fine, it's fine," Donnie chuckled, shaking his head. His fingers danced across the keyboard with blinding speed. "Ah. Looks like Mikey got bored and breached your brother's home network again. He re-routed the apartment's thermostat controls through a Norwegian heavy metal internet radio station."
"Mikey did that?" The girl looked over her shoulder toward the half-pipe.
"He's learning coding. Slowly. And chaotically," Donnie explained, his eyes scanning lines of green code. "I'll fix it. And... there. Water temperature restored, playlist reset to Vernon's 'Smooth Jazz for Handsome Men' mix."
"You didn't fix the parking ticket, did you?"
"I have morals," Donnie said, feigning mock offense. He closed the terminal and spun his chair back around to face her, the soft blue light of the screens illuminating his green scales. "Besides, if I do everything he asks, he'll never leave us alone."
"He already never leaves you alone. Last week he asked you to upgrade the engine in his convertible."
"Which I did," Donnie pointed out, adjusting the leather straps across his chest. "But only because he promised to stop calling me 'the IT guy'. Plus, tweaking a V8 engine is relaxing."
The girl rolled her eyes playfully, setting her mug down on a relatively clear patch of his desk. "You're too nice to him, you know. You don't have to humor my brother just to hang out with me."
Donnieâs posture softened. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, putting him closer to her eye level. The frantic, hyper-analytical energy that usually surrounded him seemed to dial down completely.
"I know," Donnie said quietly, his voice gentle. "But honestly? It's a small price to pay. If fixing Vernon's espresso machine or keeping his shower from freezing means I get to sit here and talk to you without him hovering around in a panic..." He offered her a warm, genuine smile. "...then it's the most efficient use of my time."
She felt a rush of warmth in her chest, returning his smile. "Well, when you put it logically like that."
"Logic is my specialty," Donnie agreed, tapping the side of his head.
"HEY DONNIE!" a voice echoed from across the lair, followed by the screech of urethane wheels on concrete. "Did 'The Falcon' like his new shower playlist?!"
Donnie closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his snout just below his bandana. "I am going to encrypt Mikey's gaming console," he muttered.
"I'll help you pick the password."
Michelangelo:
The pulsating bass of a heavy hip-hop track was vibrating through the floorboards of Vernon Fenwickâs penthouse before the guest of honor even arrived.
Vernon, clad in a pure silk, monogrammed bathrobe, was desperately clutching a bottle of multi-surface cleaner and a microfiber cloth. He stood guard by the balcony, his eyes wide with anticipation and dread.
"Sis," Vernon called out, his voice trembling over the approaching music. "Sis, the bass is cracking the plaster! The co-op board is going to fine me again!"
"Relax, Vern," the girl shouted back from the kitchen, sounding completely unbothered. "Itâs Friday!"
The music reached a deafening crescendo just as a streak of orange, green, and sparks launched over the balcony railing. Michelangelo, fully equipped with his rocket-powered skateboard, slammed onto the imported Italian marble of the terrace. He skidded to a halt, popping the board up into his massive, three-fingered hand, and kicked the sliding glass doors open.
Despite his terrifying size, he possessed the energy of a hyperactive golden retriever who had just drank three energy drinks.
"MR. FALCON!" Mikey roared, tossing his skateboard aside and throwing his arms wide.
Vernon cringed, holding up the microfiber cloth like a shield. "Mikey! The rug! The white rug! Wipe your feet, for the love of everything holy, wipe your feet!"
"Dude, your floors are always so shiny! Itâs like an ice rink in here!" Mikey ignored the plea entirely, sliding across the penthouse floor in his custom sneakers. He crashed into Vernon, pulling the squirming cameraman into a bone-crushing, one-armed hug. "Looking fresh, Vern! Love the robe. Very Hugh Hefner. Very classy."
"My spine," Vernon wheezed, his face turning a distinct shade of purple. "You're... compacting my vertebrae..."
Mikey dropped him instantly, completely oblivious to Vernon's agony, because his attention had just snapped to the kitchen. The girl walked out, wearing distressed jeans and a brightly colored vintage windbreaker.
Mikey actually gasped. He pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes, pointed finger guns at her, and let out a long, low whistle.
"Whoa," Mikey said, his voice dropping a full octave in a failed attempt to sound suave. "Stop the presses, Mr. Falcon. We have a front-page scoop. My girl is looking flawless."
She laughed, a genuine, bright sound that made Mikeyâs tail stump wag slightly beneath his shell. She walked over and bumped her fist against his massive green knuckles. "Hey, Mikey. You ready to go?"
"Ready? Babe, I was born ready," Mikey boasted, puffing out his chest. "I got the whole night planned. First, VIP access to the fashion showâDonnie hacked the service elevator so we're watching from the rafters. Then, Iâm taking you to this secret food truck in Queens that makes a deep-fried mac-and-cheese pizza, and after that, we are hitting the arcade. I brought fifty bucks in quarters."
Vernon, having recovered enough breath to speak, frantically waved his arms. "Hold on, wait a minute! Rafters? Deep-fried pizza? Arcades? Michelangelo, I am a public figure! 'The Falcon' cannot have his sister associated with... with public property damage and cholesterol!"
Mikey threw an arm around Vernonâs shoulders, nearly dragging the smaller man to the floor again. "Vern, Vern, Vern. My brother in lawâwell, future brother in law, maybe, who knows, Iâm just spitballing hereâyou gotta chill! Sheâs with me. I'm a highly trained ninja warrior! I got moves! I got reflexes!"
To demonstrate, Mikey executed a rapid-fire series of nunchaku spins, accidentally clipping a priceless Ming dynasty replica vase on a side table. The vase wobbled dangerously. Vernon dove, catching it a millimeter before it shattered.
"See? Reflexes!" Mikey beamed, completely missing Vernon's near-heart attack.
"Mikey, if you break my brother's things, he's going to cry," she teased, grabbing Mikey's thick arm and pulling him toward the balcony. "Come on, let's go before he calls his therapist."
"Alright, alright, the lady has spoken!" Mikey grabbed his skateboard. He paused at the door, turning back to Vernon with a look of utmost sincerity. "Hey, Vern. Seriously. I know you worry. But I'd take a shredder blade to the shell before I let anything happen to her. You know that, right?"
For a brief, fleeting second, Vernon saw the capable, fiercely loyal warrior beneath the goofy exterior. He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I know, Mikey. I know. Just... please don't let anyone take a picture of you two. The tabloids will have a field day."
"No promises on the paparazzi, bro! We're a very photogenic couple!" Mikey laughed, wrapping a protective arm around her waist. "Catch ya on the flip side, Mr. Falcon! Stay frosty!"
With a whoop of joy, Mikey engaged the thrusters on his board. He and girl launched off the balcony, plummeting into the New York night, Mikey's cheers echoing off the surrounding skyscrapers.
Vernon stood in the sudden, ringing silence of his penthouse. He looked at his white rug. There were two massive, slightly damp, very dirty sneaker prints right in the center of it.
"I'm billing the city for this," Vernon muttered, reaching for his multi-surface cleaner.
These are so funny đ they're everything to me
Imagine teasing Leonardo while he's out on patrol,
NSFW Implied
Now that's what I'm talkin about
Okay but a love triangle situation. Reader is an eldest daughter and somehow ends up pining after Donnie. Some part of her thinks his ingenuity and sweet nature could fulfill unmet needs in her as someone who's had to pull through for everybody. She ends up in a yearning loophole while Donnie doesn't even glance her way, and the whole time she's looking at him?
Leo is looking at her.
He knows how she feels, he knows the way she feels having to be responsible for herself and other people. Laying down at the end of the day unappreciated and unwanted, he's been in her shoes, is in her shoes. She's not even glancing his way and he's playing through his head all the different ways he could just tell her "I'm what you want, you're what I need"
But he's a dork and his dad is on his case and making things awkward.... maybe one day. If you'd just stop looking at his little brother.
đâšA TEAM âšâ€ïž
Dance with me
The Bay!turtles (separately) catch you dancing hcs
This is vaguely based on a scene from the 'Unspoken' Donnie fic I'm writing except way less angsty
Tags: Bay!tmnt x reader, utter fluff, fem reader, established relationships, no idea how NYC apartments work, terrible punctuation as usual, not proofread
Leo
I live for the sweet, soft moments.
Real life turtles enjoy shell scritches. Owners will set up scrubbing stations for their turts in their enclosure and they will kind of just shimmy and dance on the bristles because its like a nice back scratch for them (there are tons of videos and theyre so cute). Do you think the tmnt turts would like the occasional bottle brush to their shells? Im betting at the very least, Mikey would do the shimmy when met with a nice firm brush to the crevices of his shell đ€
Real turtles use rough surfaces to help clean their shells and scratch places they canât really reach. And I can absolutely see the guys appreciating a good shell scrub, even if some of them would never ever admit how nice it feels.
Do you think the scrubbing station looks anything like those automatic car washes?
... Ah, who am I kidding. They probably stole the equipment from one đ
Why didnât I think of this?! This is a HILARIOUS image đ
đâ€ïžđ§Ąđ
Fun frames
I love how Rise gives the characters these larger than life expressions, theyâre exaggerated and hilarious, and they add so much humor without feeling out of place. Every reaction feels vibrant and alive, making the characters even more fun to watch.
Next
Last
Masterpost
TMNT BAYVERSE
Scent sensitivity headcannons
I had a thought to many after writing my previous âNatural Smellâ thatâs about what the turtles would really smell like with and without cologne. This one here is what they can smell since they are turtles.
đž Strong perfume or cologne
Probably the biggest one.
If someone sprayed on several pumps of perfume or cologne, the turtles would likely notice it from much farther away than a human could. Up close, it might be unpleasant or even give them a headache.
Michelangelo might jokingly say something like:
"Whoa! Easy on the perfume!"
Donatello would probably be the first to complain because he'd notice the individual chemicals.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đ§Ž Body sprays
Think of heavy body sprays or locker-room amounts of deodorant.
A cloud of that in a confined space like the lair?
They'd probably all wave it away.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đ§œ Cleaning chemicals
Bleach.
Ammonia.
Industrial cleaners.
These would be especially harsh underground where there's less fresh airflow. And I did wonder about this myself I time or two since I myself donât like the smell, I wonder how much more unpleasant it would be for them. Because! They are animals and animals can smell wayyyy better than people can.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đŹ Smoke
Whether it's cigarette smoke, burning plastic, or thick campfire smoke, they'd likely smell it long before humans would and find it irritating.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
✠Gasoline and fuel
Gas stations.
Vehicle exhaust.
Fuel spills.
These odors would be very strong to them and easy to track. Which points me back to the thought process on why they are so good at tracking in the first place. But not because itâs all animal behavior or scent related, I just mean they are better at tracking.
That and because Donnieâs genius with his tracking and Raph with his instincts.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đ¶ïž Strong spices
Not necessarily unpleasant, but intense.
Cooking things like:
âą Garlic
âą Onions
âą Hot peppers
âą Curry
âą Vinegar
would probably fill the entire lair with scent from their perspective.
Michelangelo might love it because "Pizza's almost ready!"
Raphael would just complain that he's hungry.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đïž Rotting garbage
Ironically, while they live in the sewer, fresh sewage isn't necessarily the worst smell because they're accustomed to it.
Rotting food left out for days, spoiled meat, or mold would likely stand out much more because those are biologically important odors to detect.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
đ¶ Animals
Dogs, cats, horses, and other animals would each have very distinct scents.
The turtles could probably identify what animal had been somewhere even after it was gone.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
𩞠Blood
They'd notice the smell of blood quickly, especially in enclosed spaces.
Not because they're predators in a horror sense, but because blood has a very distinctive metallic scent that many animals can detect.
What wouldn't bother them as much?
Things they've lived around for years become "background noise."
That includes:
âą Damp concrete.
âą Flowing sewer water.
âą Wet earth.
âą Rusty pipes.
âą Mild mildew.
Their own natural scent and each other's.
They'd probably stop consciously noticing those unless something changed.
Funny contrast
Imagine April wearing an extra-strong vanilla perfume.
To another human:
"Oh, that's nice."
To the turtles:
"April entered the subway three minutes ago, she's carrying coffee, used vanilla perfume, washed her hair this morning, and she's coming from the east tunnel."
Their noses would likely make them excellent trackers, but it also means very strong artificial fragrances would be much more intense for them than for the average person. Literally because they are turtles.
And yet we donât see much of these details in the movie but itâs ok because I feel why point out the obvious. Yâknow? AnywayâŠthatâs my thoughts when I put together real turtle facts plus more on a human sense with the Bayverse boys.
TMNT BAYVERSE
Natural Smell
How do they naturally smell?
They probably don't smell good by human standards, but not necessarily because they're turtles.
Think of a combination of:
âą Damp concrete.
âą Freshwater and algae.
âą Old pipes.
âą Wet fabric.
âą Leather gear that's been used for years.
âą A faint reptilian/musky scent.
If they've just come back from a mission through the sewers, that smell would be noticeably stronger.
However, they're also shown caring about themselves and their home. Their lair isn't pristine, but it's organized enough that they're clearly not living in complete filth.
Do they bathe?
Almost certainly.
The lair has running water and plumbing. It's hard to imagine Splinter letting them go weeks without washing.
A realistic routine would probably be:
âą Shower after patrols.
âą Wash off sewer grime before relaxing.
âą Clean shells and gear regularly.
That alone would remove most of the "sewer smell.â
Could they use deodorant?
Yes.
There's nothing stopping them.
In fact, it makes sense they'd use stick deodorant if April ever brought them some or they bought it themselves during supply runs.
It wouldn't completely eliminate their natural scent, but it would help with sweat, especially because they train constantly.
Cologne?
Probablyâbut differently for each turtle.
Heavy cologne would actually be a bad idea during stealth missions because strong fragrances make you easier to detect.
If any of them wore something, it'd likely be very light.
My guesses:
âą Leonardo: Maybe a subtle clean scent if he ever uses one. Nothing flashy.
âą Raphael: Probably doesn't bother most days unless someone nags him.
âą Donatello: More interested in hygiene than fragrance. He'd probably use unscented products because strong scents could bother him while working with electronics.
âą Michelangelo: Absolutely the one most likely to experiment with body spray or cheap cologne because he thinks it smells cool.
Do humans notice?
Yes.
April has known them long enough she'd probably stop noticing unless they've just crawled out of a sewer tunnel.
Someone meeting them for the first time would probably think:
"...Why does it smell damp in here?"
rather than,
"They smell like garbage."
Would Splinter encourage hygiene?
Absolutely.
âą Splinter teaches discipline.
âą That likely extends to:
âą Washing after training.
âą Keeping weapons clean.
âą Maintaining gear.
âą Taking care of themselves.
Good hygiene fits his philosophy of respecting yourself and your environment.
Most realistic conclusion
The "they constantly reek like raw sewage" idea is probably exaggerated in fan works.
A more accurate headcanon is:
âą After a patrol, they smell like damp tunnels, wet concrete, leather, and a mild reptilian musk.
âą After a shower, they're mostly clean but still have a faint unique reptile scent humans would notice up close.
âą They could absolutely use deodorant, soap, shampoo (or shell-safe cleansers), and even a little cologne or body spray if they wanted. It just wouldn't completely erase their natural scent, and for stealth missions they'd likely avoid anything strongly fragranced.
đâ€ïžđ§Ąđ
đâ€ïžđđ§Ą
ââââ ââ â âAnything Happens to Her,
TMNT BAY! Protective! Leonardo x Fem! Reader Blurb !
âA/N: This entire 'blurb' was inspired by a line from Daryl Dixon in The Walking Dead. Specifically:
"If she gets hurt, she dies, she catches a fever, she gets taken out by a walker, she gets hit by lightning, anything. Anything happens to her and I'll kill you."
I immediately thought of Bayverse Leo because he would be protective asffffff
âSummary: Casey is left in charge of protecting you while Leonardo has to handle more urgent threats across the city..
CHEATING FICS (Leo, Raph, Donnie, Mikey x reader)
LEONARDO x reader
Blue light
âI thought you had honor!â I yelled from the top of my lungs.Â
I had never thought something like this to happen. At least not with Leo. I thought he had a sense of moral and all, but I guess he didnât. He was just a teenager and he was only learning. Maybe he just was too nice. He was too kind to everybody. Sometimes shy even.
âI- I didnât do that on purpose!â He stuttered, maybe he was only defending himself because I mentioned honor.Â
âItâs the honor thing, right?â I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
âWhat? (Y/n)-?â He didnât even know what to say, thinking I was playing around, making him mess up with his thoughts, giving myself a chance to escape. âNo! It has nothing to do with that!â
âOh it doesnât?â I said sharply. âSo you think an honored man would do something like that?â I twisted his words. Good one, (Y/n)⊠Way to solve the problem.Â
âI didnât mean that, I just⊠Youâre doing this on purpose!â He snapped at me, not angry though, he was just frustrated.Â
âMaybeâŠâ I admitted, shrugging, almost smiling at myself.
âShe was the one who kissed me! I didnât do it!â This made me groan.Â
âWell you werenât kicking her off of you either!â My voice getting heavy with disgust. That fucking asshole!
âI donât hit girls!â Leo explained, only gaining a more deadlier glare from me.
âYeah like you couldnât get her off with other moves.â
âI froze! I didnât know what was happening!â Leo really? Thatâs all youâre gonna say?
âItâs because you still like her, right?â I swallowed between âyouâ and âstillâ.
â(Y/n) I love you!â Leo pleaded, trying to get closer to me, but I stepped away, slapping his hand away.
We were on the surface, at a dark alley. I had stormed away when I saw Karai and Leo kiss. He had kissed back. There was no denying that. For fucks sake Leo, why couldnât he just say he still liked her?
âYou still like her! You wanted to kiss her!â
âShe kissed me!â
âWHAT EVER!â I raised my voice more.
Leo thought something for a second. He was silent, trying to look around and find a solution to his problem.
âSheâs my sister."Â
My mouth wide open. Thatâs his excuse?!Â
"I mean!â He yelled fast, trying to explain the decision of his words. âItâs not like I could ever be with her."Â
Not getting in better direction.
"I⊠I canât do this LeoâŠâ I muttered, disappointed at him. He didnât, I mean, he couldnât make things better.
Leo panicked, his eyes getting wide and his body stiffening.Â
âI really have to go now.â I said before turning around.Â
When I started to walk away, Leo yelled my name, rushed towards me and took a hold of my arm. I felt a lightning go through me. I didnât want him near me.
âDonât go!â Leo begged. His blue eyes searching for some compassion, but I didnât let him that. I shook my head.
âNo. Iâm leaving.â I said, pulling my hand, trying to get off of him. He only pulled me closer to him.
âI really want you (Y/n)!â Leo begged. âJust, letâs get back to the lair and I can tell Karai to leave."Â
My eyes getting wide again, filled with anger and betray. She was still there?!
"Sheâs still there?!â I snapped, pulling my hand fast off of his grip.Â
âWell, you left so fast, I didnât know what to say to her.â
âIâm leaving! Now!â I snapped, only to hear him come after me.
âGET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!â I screamed as loud as I could.
âShh (Y/n)!â Leo tried to calm me down. âSomeone might think youâre being attacked on!â I raised a brow at him, grinning a little like a devil. Leo gasped and whispered: âDonâtâ
âI DONâT HAVE ANY MONEY! PLEASE DONâT KILL ME!â I yelled as loud as I could, now hearing people to yell and scream that was I okay and telling that a police was on their way. I didnât took long till we were able to hear the sirens.
âYou better go.â I said threatening.Â
Leoâs eyes begging me to not to do this to him, but I didnât fall for that. I wanted him gone, no matter what I needed to do.
The last thing that happened was that Leo tried to get close to me, take me with him, but when the police carâs lights got closer, he knew he just needed to go with out me. Looking back at me, before getting down the manhole, he looked at me with broken expression on his face, but believe me or not, did I look like it or not, I was more broken than him.
RAPHAEL x reader
Iâm not Spike
He had started acting weird along time ago. I didnât want to push him though, even if it bothered me. Oh how I wanted to help him if he had pain. But there was no way heâd tell me. So I didnât even ask.Â
He never was home and when he was and we spent time with each others, he didnât make almost any moves towards me. It was starting to get hard to even be with him in the same room. It was oh so hard, but I couldnât just end it. I really really really liked him, and I, as naive I was, were waiting for him to tell me if he wanted to stop. Maybe I was stupid, maybe I was too nice. Who knew.
But like I already knew, the day when I would finally get to know what was up to him, was now. And the day that it would end, it was now. I always knew it would end in either way, but not because of both.
When I got to the lair, about to see Raphael and spent my precious time with him by just moping and staring at the tv screen, what I found was something that had never crossed my mind.
I arrived to the lair, and was about to go to search for Raphael, who pretty surely was in his room, I crashed into Leo. He was there, in front of his younger brotherâs roomâs door, just turning around to face me.Â
Leoâs eyes widened, and he spread his arms wide open, trying to make it look like he tried to hug me when he noticed what he did.Â
âOh hey, (Y/n)!â He said surprisingly loud.
âLeo..?â I almost growled, but he just locked me into a tight hug, not letting me near Raphaelâs room.
âYou⊠You came early!â His voice loud, filled with awkwardness. I tried to break free from his arms, only to gain him grunt and trying to explain his actions: âWhy donât we go to dojo? We never spend time there!â I struggled, but he had already started walking, pushing me in the direction where the dojo was.Â
âLeo! Let go!â I snapped, pushing him hard, tearing us apart, then marching on Raphaelâs roomâs door, pushing it open.Â
There he was, on his bed, on top of April.
It took me awhile to even understand that they had noticed us. Leo had walked next to me, putting his arm on my shoulder and starting to lead me away.Â
I was so broken I didnât even understand what happened. Leo had narrowed his eyes at his brother, looking at April with angry and cold eyes.
He had walked me in the dojo, pushing me on sitting position, sitting in front of me, trying to make me understand that he had my back.Â
It took awhile until Leo got me out of my trance, he even threatened me that if I wouldnât snap out of it he would tell Donnie and ask him to explore me if I had fallen into a shock. I of course didnât want that to happen, not wanting to tell anyone about this, feeling like it was my fault I had been left heart broken. If I had just ended this soonerâŠÂ
Leo didnât agree, like it was even a surprise. He told that this was Raphaelâs fault and his fault only.
When he finally got me to get back to my senses, we talked in the dojo for awhile, then Leo offered his help, telling me that I needed to do something concrete and left to get me something to drink.
It didnât take long for a loud chat reach my ears. It was Leo and⊠Raphael.
âDid she leave?â Raphael asked, coldly and almost sounding like he wouldnât care if I wouldâve die.
âNo, sheâs with meâ Leo said mockingly, surely glaring at his brother. âHow could you do something like that to her?!â
Leo had started yelling. Raphael didnât care a bit. He obviously was just shrugging his shoulders and not even bothering to think about the whole event more than that.
âWell, at least now she knows.â I felt like he had just pushed his strong hand through my chest, gripped my heart and ripped it out.
I got up, went to the living room, Leo and Raphael turning towards me.
âIâm going home, Leo.â I said, not even looking at Raph.Â
â(Y/n) you donât have to-â Leo tried but I cut him off.
âItâs okay. Itâs not like I didnât know that Raphael wouldnât ever care about anyone. He doesnât care about humans, or maybe he does care for April, or heâs just playing with her. â I said coldly, making Raphael mad. He was surely considering either hitting me or yelling at me. âI always knew I didnât actually matter. Iâm not Spike, after all.â
After that nobody said nothing, I only heard Leo gasp and Raphael growl at me. I still knew I hit hard with my words, was he able to hide it or not.
âYouâre saying I donât have a heart? Or that Iâm just a mindless monster?!â Raphael finally spoke. I didnât even look at him again.
âPretty much like Slash.â I said, now facing his scared and mad mixed expression.
âYou know, youâre one little bitch you know that!â Raph snapped, pointing at me, which made me turn around, I looked at Leo, telling him with my eyes that it was my time to leave.
He just ignored Raphael like I did, walking me out of the living room, but before I left the lair, he kissed me on my forehead, whispering: âIâm so sorry about all of thisâŠâ His voice low, but loud enough for Raphael to hear. âI hope you wonât start to hate meâŠâ
âNo one could ever hate you, Leo.â I smiled sadly at him, kissing him on the cheek before leaving, leaving with an image of Raphaelâs broken expression when he saw his ex girlfriend kiss his bigger brother, the one who he envied and hated and loved at all the same time, seeing what he had done.
He just had given his brother something that he had once treasured over everything after what happened to Spike. He had almost handed me to him. And knowing it was all his fault, knowing Leo knew and I knew, he had nothing to do. He couldnât make this better. He had once again shown us all that Leo was better than him, in anyways.
Iâm not Spike after all
That had been a mistake. Letting me slip from his grip. But he knew it was true. He had maybe really cared for me. Not as much as he had cared for Spike. And what happened to him? He left, before trying to rip the family apart, and now he was almost repeating himself. I was going to be the one to break the family now. Making all his brothers hate him for what he did to me.
DONATELLO x reader
Black dahlia (<- (name)song fic for Holywood undead)
Like everyday I visited the lair, where I had grown to consider as another home of mine. I felt so comfortable in there. It wasnât the only reason I went there though. I had started dating Donnie, the tallest of the turtle brothers. He was such a sweetie. So caring, and a real goofball. I loved him. I hadnât told him that yet though, but I knew I did. I had just realized that.Â
So now that I was getting there, in the lair, I almost took dance steps while I got closer. I was so happy to get down the sewers and not wanting to even think about the surface.
When I got there, my eyes widened. I was now facing something I had never even thought about to be able to happen.Â
Donnie was there, his green arms around another figure, April.Â
I had never actually liked her. She had been so cold towards Donatello, and made every moment to uncomfortable for us all with her presence. I knew Donnie had had feelings for her, not that he still had feeling for her.
While I watched as Donnie kept April on his grasp, I felt how my breathing got harder. Donnie had his lips on April. They were kissing!
When Donnie pulled away, he smiled down at April, Aprilâs back towards me, not giving me a chance to see her face or her expression.
My head spinning, I tried to keep myself sane, looking around like I was seeing everything the first time, taking steps away, getting closer to shadows and leaving.
â(Y/n)?!â I heard that voice, that sound, that fucking voice! That god damn voice, ringing in my ears differently, making me want to scream and cover the sound under my high pitched voice.
âOh no!â I heard April gasp. She put her hands over her mouth, facing me.
âYeah⊠Oh fucking noâŠâ I chuckled, the tears filling my eyes. I didnât make any eye contact for the couple. âOh no that I saw thatâŠâ
I hated to say anything. I just wanted to leave, never come back and never see anyone of then again.
â(Y/n) I donât know what to sayâŠâ
Just stop talking⊠I canât listen to your voice nowâŠ
âWeâre so sorry!â April gasped, taking a step forward, thank god I was far enough that it would take her more than just a one step to get close enough, to meet my fist that is.
âSHUT THE FUCK UP!â I snapped, raising my head up, looking at the both of them. My face must have woken something that had died in Donnie back alive, since he looked like he knew exactly how I now felt. Like he felt the same pain inside himself.
âI didnât mean toâŠâ Donnie tried, his voice shaking but I just looked over him, trying to look cool, which I did.
âNo, you did. Itâs fine. You two are so like each others.â I smiled. âBut you know, I think you have forgotten the fourth wheel.â I laughed evilly, sensing April froze. She looked terrified. Knowing I would finish my sentence.
â(Y/n), please donât..!â April begged.
âYouâre a real bitch, you know that April.â I stared at her with murder in my eyes. âNow that you took Donnie, I may as well take Casey. Iâm sure he will appreciate the fact that you had no intention on leaving him, but Iâm not sure is he so happy about you kissing others.â Donnie looked at April, not understanding.
â(Y/n) please! This was a mistake! Please donât tell Casey!â She cried, now getting close, so close she could touch me but I just backed away.
âYou⊠Youâre dating with Casey?â Donnie stuttered, obviously not knowing that April never had any intentions to date him. She wanted to be with Casey, but if she stole my boyfriend, Iâm not going to make this easy on her either.
âYou know what Donnie.â I said, I knew he and April were able to hear the sadness and humiliation from my voice. âYou are a mistake!â
I stormed away, leaving April there, crying on her knees, but was surprised by the closer getting foot steps of Donatello.Â
â(Y/n) please let me explain!â He tried, taking a hold of my shoulder, only gaining me to pull away and slap him on his cheek, across the face.
âI loved you!â I screamed, not even caring if everybody heard me, the people on the surface and everybody back in the lair.
âYou gave me hate, see? You feel that? Can you even feel anything at all anymore, than youâre own needs, your selflessness?â I tried to push him down as down as I could, yelling and crying at him. He fell on his knees, covering his eyes and started crying.
âOh you feel bad? You feel sad? Iâm sorry, hell, no, fuck that!â my sarcastic remark making him shake even more. I wanted him to feel even worse. âI donât care about how you feel anymore!â My voice breaking into a crying and yelling mess. âIt was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife.â
Donnie whined, his voice so quiet even I werenât able to hear him. All I could be able to catch from the sentences he spit out were some random words from here and there.Â
âIâm so sorryâ
âI was so stupidâ
âneverâ
âI loved⊠I really didâ
âpleaseâ
âa nightmareâ
âDonât go"Â
"Iâve been abused, I feel so used because of you.â I muttered. Donnie sniffed loud. âSeems like all we had is over nowâ with that, I walked away, only sharing Donnie cry, beg and plead for me not to go.
MICHELANGELO x reader
no more girls
âYouâre welcome, hottie!â Thatâs when it started, every time he saved a girl on their patrol, you begin with them, he flirted with them. Of course you thought it to be innocent compliments, but it kept happening and getting worse.Â
The girl giggled, what an idiot, and left, thanking youâre boyfriend once again before leaving. You glared daggers at his way, but he didnât even bother look at you. He just kept going.Â
The last time he saved a girl from the foot clan in a subway tunnel, he kicked the clan member off of the girl, helped her up from the trails she had fallen on, right before the train came. The girl was in shock, hugged Mikey and thanked him over and over again. When you were just about to leave, before the girl left, the girl said something like: âA turtle that heroic must have a girlfriend already.â
You waited what Mikey would say, only to get shocked from his playboyish attitude.
âIâm always free for you, babe."Â
When the girl left, you were burning and furious. You walked in front of Mikey, started yelling at him.
"What was that?â You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.
âOh you saw that! Did you see how smoothly I saved her!â His voice excited while he smiled.
âOnly thing I saw was how you tried smoothly hit on her!â You growled, using his own words. What a blind idiot he had to be!
âCome on, babe! It was nothing!â He raised his arm, wrapping it over your shoulder and smiled happily, impressed that you were jealous. You of course pushed him off, narrowing your eyes once again, starting to walk away.
âMikey, you just said that you donât have a girlfriend to that girl! Seriously! What do you think Iâm supposed to feel like?â You waved your hands like a windmill, yelling at Mikey who just looked at you with innocent eyes.
âI didnât say soâŠâ He muttered, sadly.
âI donât care. Iâm with you on the missions and while I watch you flirting with others like that, it makes me feel like that Iâm not worth the effort of being your girlfriend!â Mikeyâs eyes widen. He looked scared and shocked, not wanting you to say the next words.
âWeâre through!â You snapped and then turned and walked away, not giving him a chance to talk this over.
â` bay!leo x fem reader ââ
# ââ đđ ïč â â ââ you are wearing no panties under the skirt | NSFW
I Knew It, I Knew You
Raphael X Reader (second chance)
Summary: What would you do if you got a second chance to fix a pretty big hurt in your life? Ten years later, the city might have changed, and maybe you did too, but is it enough to escape the ghosts that haunt you?
A/n: So this definitely has potential to be a series if you guys want (or if I decide to do it anyway). Anyway, both the turts and Readz are aged up (25 or so) and this is just angsty and soft and i think I aboslutely love it because we all deserve to make up for our mistakes; or at least apologize for them.
p.s. no ai was used in the creation of this work and never will be.
There was a soft thud behind me. A sound I knew from a dream of a memory but I knew it all too well.Â
It still scared me though.Â
âHoly fucking shit Raph,â I cursed, turning to see the terrapin hiding at the edge of the shadows.Â
âSince when do you curse?â There was a smirk drawing at his lips. Even the sight of him, my adrenaline spiked from the fun and fear that wove into my memories.Â
đđâ€ïžâ€ïž
Can't stand it
MDNI! Headcannons on how the Bay!turtles (separately) hatefuck.
This one's a doozy so strap in
Tags: Bay!tmnt x reader, fem reader, PIV, no protection, oral- f!receiving (Leo), size diff (Raph), creampies, overstim, mating press (Donnie), nasty smut, dw it ends well, atrocious punctuation, not proofread
My brain? Fried. Coochie? Wet. Hotel? Trivago.
GAAAAWWWD DAMN đ«Ș I'm saving this forever and ever
Technically not my first smut related drawing, but the first one not connected to anything and just for funzies. Posted on Bluesky since it'll get flagged here.
Yeah, the boots and pants look nice because I set up a still life with my partner's clothes to get an accurate pulled down pants reference. The things we do.