car crash hearts

Xavier Barlow. 25. Genderfluid. Professional couch surfer. "The only thing I haven't done yet is die & it's me and my plus one at the afterlife."

[xavierbarlow]

bythcbay:

Bay leaned in close as if she were about to share a secret, tapping her long nails against his shoulder. “You look like a great guy, and I like to grace great people with my shining company.” She teased, nose scrunching up when she grinned. Work had been stressing her out lately and she needed something, anything, to chill her out. And drinks with a cute guy sounded exactly like what she needed. “I’d love that. Rum and coke?”

Xavier grinned, amused by her response. “I can tell. And I can definitely be a great guy. Or girl. I’m pretty fluid in that regard.” He gave a shrug and waved the bartender over to order their drinks. “I feel honored that out of all the people here, you decided to grace me with your company. I’m Xavier -- because even if we won’t remember each others names in the morning, I still like to introduce myself. I’m cool with it if you don’t wanna do names, though. You can be all mysterious and anonymous if you want.”

[xavierbarlow]

captainxflint:

“Clearly it worked on me, but I’m also not the hardest prey to catch if you catch my drift.” He received his drink and instantly started sipping. 

“Not if I buy you enough drinks.” Xavier teased, though he was still a little wary. He didn’t want to push things too far and have Flint remind him of how much of a mess he was. Not again. “You look good, though. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to still get into your pants, I promise. I’m just still as bad at casual talk as I’ve always been.”

[bythcbay]

“Drinking alone is no fun, Mind if I sit here?” Bay asked with a bright grin. She didn’t wait for an answer before hopping onto the barstool.

[xavierbarlow]

“Ah, and why would I mind that?” Xavier responded with a sheepish grin, a playful twinkle in his brown eyes, despite the alcohol level in his blood. “What did I do to deserve this great company, babe?” There was a pause -- something that didn’t happen often with him -- in which he tried not to think too much about his fight with Flint. About how he should probably stop this cycle of years spent sitting in bars and hitting on strangers in an attempt to feel validated and less alone. Which, when he didn’t succeed, ultimately led to him getting beyond wasted and depending on his friends to get him home. “Can I buy you a drink?”

[garrett-hannah]

[rllyxavier-blog]

robert-roldan:

Darren Criss for Broadway Style Guide

[meraofxebel]

[darrencrissdaily]

[darrencrissdaily]

Darren Criss at the Dior Sauvage Fragrance launch party (April 12, 2018)

[xavierbarlow]

captainxflint:

“Probably more alcohol.” He admitted. The edge he’d sought to take off that only grown. Flint waved down the bartender again for another drink. “No, that’s probably the smart move. If it’s an consolation I can’t remember either. I think it was 2 Dollar Shot Tuesdays.”

Xavier gave a nod, hesitating before sitting back down on his seat, his brown eyes on Flint the whole time. A soft laugh escaped his lips at the other’s reply. “Must’ve been something like that. Sounds like a good way to meet. Knowing myself, I probably made a complete fool of myself, since I probably didn’t expect to ever see you again. Good thing we both don’t remember.”

[toomuch-taxing-formybrokenh-blog]

[xavierbarlow]

@captainxflint

[xavierbarlow]

captainxflint:

“No.” Flint replied. “… Well… Maybe. That’s all I expect most men to want me for.” He shrugged his shoulders with the admission.  He wasn’t bothered by it. In fact he’d kind of embraced it. “I just don’t want to be reminded… That things have happened.” The alcohol certainly didn’t help what was already a cluttered mess of a mind. He didn’t know how to make sense of it to convey his thoughts. “That things are different.” 

“I thought you knew me better than that, F.” Xavier managed a small smile. “I’m cool with just... hanging out. Drinking. I don’t know, whatever you need.” Of course, the more he drank, the harder it became to keep his hands to himself around Flint, but that didn’t mean he had no control at all. “And if that’s really all they want you for, they’re fucking dumb. I mean, yeah, you’re hot, but you’re also smart and you’ve got that sarcastic humor going on. Such a waste to just fuck you and not get to know you. Which is probably what happened between us the first time we met, I can’t really remember, sorry. But, y’know, for what it’s worth.”

[pollygreenebean]

Polly had only had a couple of drinks but she found herself giggling excessively at whatever was going on in this movie. She wasn’t exactly sure what it was, or what any of it meant, but she found it hilarious. The small girl was placed on a pallet in the floor, made up of maybe ten comforters that she had brought over for the purpose of just this. In her lap was an empty glass where her drink had previously been, and a tub of vegan cookie dough.

Things hadn’t been great. She didn’t want to go into much of it, but Polly found herself just needing a moment to relax. To be comfortable. To just forget. That’s where Xavier came in. He was always so good at making her feel better.  Their friendship could be very distant sometimes, she knew that even in the slightly tipsy state she was in, but they always seemed to find themselves comforting each other in some respect. “What’s even happening in this movie, do you know, Xav?” She asked as she shifted her things to lay on her stomach, blushing a few strands of dyed blue hair back from her face.

@xavierbarlow

[xavierbarlow]

It was amusing to see how fast Polly had gotten tipsy. It could be so easy to forget that there were people out there with much less of a tolerance when it came to alcohol, though whilst it was entertaining to watch the girl get all giggly and relaxed, Xavier was aware that he probably didn’t want to allow her to drink too much. The drinks were sweet and didn’t exactly taste much like alcohol, which could become an issue if his friend ended up getting too drunk.

He’d managed to contain himself in the food department, concentrating very hard on how much he was eating so he wouldn’t lose control and allow himself to start binging. It was especially dangerous with something like ice cream, but being fairly sober helped him out. “Honestly, I lost the plot a while ago, babe. But I’m going to assume there’s some romantic sub plot and the guy is trying very hard to impress the girl whilst doing some dangerous shit that’s almost getting him killed, because that’s just how things go.”

Xavier wasn’t very good at sitting still and watching movies. If he’d been with anyone else -- except maybe Delilah -- he’d be halfway into their pants by now, too busy keeping his mouth occupied in some way or another to be able to pay attention to whatever they were watching, but he didn’t cross that line with Polly. For whatever reason. Not that he wasn’t interested, but their connection had always been different and void of anything sexual, which didn’t happen often for him. Still, he actually enjoyed having a non-sexual friendship like this and he could use the distraction with Flint being such a pain in his ass. Or on his mind, anyway. 

“We should probably get you some water soon, sweetheart. Don’t want you getting sick.” He commented with a gentle smile. “Anyway, we can look up the plot of the movie later and pretend we understood what was happening this whole time when we talk about it to other people.”

[xavierbarlow]

captainxflint:

“I figure that would be better. I’m definitely not in the mood for where this usually leads.” Flint responded with a heavy sigh. In a moment his anger seemed to hold more exhaustion than anything. 

“What, you’re being an asshole because you don’t want to fuck me? What kind of logic is that?” Xavier rolled his eyes slightly and crossed his arms. “I wasn’t trying anything. I mean, shit, we don’t have to do anything you’re not in the mood for. When I said I missed you, I wasn’t talking about just... that. I may be a horny asshole 95% of the time, but I never force people into anything.”

[xavierbarlow]

audreylia-michalski:

“Football bores the life out of me. I just love hockey. It’s violent and fast pass. I love it,” she watched him pour something into the coffee, furrowing her brows. “I would. They hit each other to prevent them from scoring, so it’s going to be on purpose.”

“Shit, they actually do that?” Xavier let out a laugh before taking a sip from his coffee, more satisfied with the taste now than he’d been previously. He got comfortable on his seat, tucking his legs underneath his body, tilting his head slightly as he look back over at the screen. “It looks really violent. I bet ice hockey is even worse. Do you think they even get laid, because you can’t really see their faces so no one recognizes them on the street.”

[xavierbarlow]

adam--taylor:

Adam cleared his throat a bit, not expecting the other to be so forward. “No more drinks for me tonight. I have a shift tomorrow morning so..” He paused, shrugging slightly. “But, uh, thanks for the light,” he responded, taking the lighter. Lighting his cigarette, he passed it back to them. 

“A shift, huh? What do you do?” Xavier curiously inquired, just happy to have the company. He hadn’t really wanted to go outside in the first place, but he was drunk and had been on the verge of passing out when someone had dragged him out to get some fresh air. Now he was leaning against the brick wall, debating on whether to go back inside or try to get closer to this stranger. His brown eyes wandered over the other’s posture once again, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’re straight, aren’t ya?”

[audreylia-michalski-blog]

Sitting with her legs folded in a coffee shop, Audrey lost concentration for reading the script as she watched the TV they had on, showing a hockey game. “You would think I would avoid being near a television when I have to study a script for an audition, but instead I’m hoping that the Blue Jackets pull through to the next round,” she rubbed her lips as she shook her head into reality, looking back down at the booklet.

[xavierbarlow]

“Watching sports makes my head hurt. It’s like being on drugs, everything moves too fast and then they have slow motion replays and it fucks with your head.” Xavier complained, only half paying attention to the tv screen, instead opting to add a little more liquor to his coffee. “What percentage of hockey players you think deliberately hits the other team in the legs and pretend it’s an accident? I would totally do that.”

[xavierbarlow]

“Did I ever tell you why I live in New York?” Xavier asked his friend, already way past his alcohol limit, which was a very high one. “It was to be anonymous. So I could stop feeling like I had to keep moving around, because there’s so many fucking people in this city, you have an excuse for not remembering someone’s name, apart from being wasted, obviously.” He pushed a hand through his unruly curls and opened another beer can. “But of course there needs to be this one guy that just makes me want to get the fuck out of this city. When I just got a place for myself, imagine that. I was changing my life around and he just needs to come back into my life after months of ignoring me and then he’s a little bitch and I want to move to another fucking country, because not even New York is big enough, clearly.” @avaleighquinn

[xavierbarlow]

captainxflint:

“It sure didn’t sound that way…” Flint replied, ignoring the first question. He didn’t really have an answer, not one he wanted to say out loud at least. “I thought you were leaving.”

Xavier clenched his jaw, torn between walking away and begging Flint to let him stay. “So you can avoid me for another... fuck knows how many months?” He asked, a tremble in his voice. “You want me to leave and find some guy whose name I won’t even remember, when all I want is to spend time with you?” He’d missed the male more than he really wanted to admit -- Xavier rarely made connections that meant more than just a one night stand and the thought of potentially never seeing Flint again? Well, it fucking hurt. “I didn’t ask any questions, I won’t ask questions, just don’t fucking push me away, please.”