bandit

You can call me bandit: she/they, bi, 33, tired af. Married! Masterlist I Masterlist II Masterlist III Chaotic Neutral 💜 Icon by: Me&CN

[banditthewriter]

Officially married for 6 years. Considering I totally didn't expect to be alive this long, I am beyond happy

Spent the last 2 weeks fighting the flu. Now we get to plan our anniversary since we're both healthy again

[banditthewriter]

Yesterday was the menfolk's birthday! Celebrated with dinner and a movie and playing cards. All of us have sort of realized that there is nothing to be scared of when it comes to slowing down and enjoying the days for what they are.

Hope everyone is well! Sorry I don't really exist as a human anymore. I'm still really grateful for everyone that checks in and understands that it may be a while before I respond but that I appreciate them all the same!

[banditthewriter]

Hi, I’ve got a bit from a Billy fanfic in my head, I’m not sure if it’s one you wrote, but I think it might be? Basically Frank has just lost Maria and the kids and the reader was supposed to be going with them to the park that morning but as Billy broke up with her the night before, she didn’t, and that was actually his plan to save her? Not sure if that rings any bells for you 😂

Love your work btw! 🖤

Hi dear, sorry for the delay.

I do have a fic where that happens, but I think it's probably been used in other fics too. The one I had it in was It Comes In Waves.

[banditthewriter]

Happy holidays folks!!

[scotchiegirl]

It boggles my mind thinking about how good Eliot is at reading body language. I mean, just remembering that post about the moment in Nigerian Job where Eliot knocks Hardison's legs out of the way but steps gracefully over Parker's legs and how that was telegraphing "I'm safe to be around" to both of them in their own body languages, and there's a similar moment in The Tap-Out Job right before Eliot shows his knowledge of boxing by having Parker and Hardison spar while he coaches them:

Eliot: Let me show you something. (slapping Hardison on the shoulder) Hardison, come here.

Eliot: (guides Parker into position with a hand to the waist) Can I borrow you for a second?

I mean this is exactly the same thing. Hardison he can tussle with and frequently does to show he can pull his punches (both verbally and physically) but Parker hasn't reached play-fighting stage just yet so he's still gentle side first with her. They've obviously progressed to a level of closeness where Eliot feels comfortable guiding Parker, teaching her, and also feels comfortable that she'll go along with his demonstration, but he still asks. It's the kind of perfunctory ask where you're sure the answer is yes, but it's still an ask. It's just a beautiful little moment and I love it.

[the-ebonarm]

Veilguard characters I wish Bioware would have let me flirt with at least once:

The Viper - I was irl twirling my hair when he showed up to help Rook with Ghilan'nain's dragons.

Daathrata - Why did he call Rook a work of art?? How am I supposed to be normal about this???

Solas - Mostly because I think it would have been funny if Rook attempted to flirt with him.

[banditthewriter]

hey, i remember two billy russo fics, one being that the girl was pregnant, and maybe the baby have powers or something like that, and in the other fic the girl had to pretend to be dead, but then billy finds out she's not dead... i could swear it was yours but i didn't find it... did you ever read something like that? i would love to find and read that again

Neither of them sound familiar or like my fics. Sorry!

[lostiel]

[krembruleed]

beach episode?

[only-tiktoks]

[thesummoningdark]

#ultimate ally mom: forgot child was trans and gave wrong sex talk (tags from @findafight)

[kaity--did]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

[kaity--did]

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

[kaity--did]

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

[banditthewriter]

I promise I am still alive lol

Hope everyone is doing alright!! Sorry I barely exist anymore

[thenatsdorf]

Ekekek battle. (via ekekekkekkek)

[sashaforthewin]

The internet is a magical place because imagine how close we all came to never having witnessed this.

[pepperandpals]

Queso won't let me help with his pin feathers, so I gotta pet a bird with another bird.

[warpedellipsis]

what is going on? couch bird needs grooming but won’t accept human help and so human employs second bird friend?

[ree-fireparrot]

Not OP, but basically yes.

Right now Queso (couch bird) is molting, which parrots do on an annual or semi-annual basis, and which is apparently very itchy and uncomfortable. They rely on other members of their flock to preen (groom) their heads where they can’t reach with their own beaks, and pet parrots will also ask their human owners to preen them in the absence of other birds by lowering their heads to expose their necks.

But Queso’s previous owners weren’t very nice to him (at least that’s my impression), and while OP has been slowly gaining his trust, he still often gets nervous and aggressive/defensive when humans try to touch him. However, he will let Mango (the other, more human-friendly bird) preen him, hence this video.

[i-ve-been-to-hell]

Matt: is that a dexterity save?

Laura: yeah

Siri, simultaneously: I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Can you say that again?

Everyone at the same time: a DEXTERITY SAVE

[sarahmannings]

series meme ♥ 1/5 seasons: season one

“Just one. I’m a few. No family, too. Who am I?”

[somanyjacks]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

[wormsslime]

[somanyjacks]

Reblogging to add amazing tags from @meta-theory

#this both makes things more fun and also is a really good analogy#because there are four types of system maintenance and that makes the term much more exact than the nebulous ''self-care''#and therefore much more helpful to those of us who uhhh struggle with nebulosity#for anyone curious the four types are:#1. corrective (to fix current problems)#2. preventative (to avoid future problems)#3. adaptative (to re-adjust to any changes)#4. perfective (to work towards a better system)#I really like this idea I'm gonna make a checklist