sweet hipocrisy

xanthus stebbins. 7th year. ravenclaw.

[elegancebcrn-blog]

2017HQ MUSES;; 𝔛𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔥𝔲𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔟𝔟𝔦𝔫𝔰 ( @xcnthvs )

❝ Destroying a book is like destroying a whole world. ❞ - Bruce Zimmerman

[xcnthvs-blog]

ftcyra:

“THAT IS VERY stereotypical, Xan… and very true but that’s not the point.” She shrugged her shoulders in a somewhat show of agreement. “Sharing?” Cyra pursed her lips, pretending to think for much longer than she actually did think about it, taking a drink of the firewhiskey before handing it over to him. “I will share with you, just this once.”

“if it’s true then i don’t see why you’d take offense.” xan responded with a little shrug. once she handed over the firewhiskey in her hand he grinned. “you are a true friend, cyra yaxley, and i salute you.” he said giving her a quick salute before taking a drink himself.

[bbyjoohyuk]

nam joo hyuk - ceci   ♡ | give credit. | 1200 x 1552

[xcnthvs-blog]

grcykim:

“I DIDN’T EVEN touch you, I swear. I mean, I was going to… Gently, of course, just to try and woke you up before someone cuts off your hair or draws on your face or something and then you rolled over, and then you were on the ground.” Grey quickly shook her head, a look of pure horror on her face. “Are you okay?”

xan was still half-asleep (and very drunk). so he was only sort of registering what she was saying to him. “someone cut my hair?” he asked, reaching up to touch said hair with a mildly terrified expression. “why didn’t you wake me up before they did it?”

[ofolympico]

he kept to the opposite side of the crowd — whispers & suspicious glares following his every move. & why wouldn’t they ? ‘ yeah, didn’t ‘ye hear ? ‘m a fuckin’ murderer ! ’ marcus feigned as a group of students walked past, & couldn’t help but laugh as they picked up their pace significantly. he shook his head — why couldn’t people just mind their own fucking business ? drowning the remainder of his flask, the gryffindor rested his head on the damp grass, closed his eyes & sighed, hoping no one would have the nerve to bother him. 

[xcnthvs-blog]

call him a bleeding heart but xan didn’t like to see people sitting alone. at a party of all places. he sort of understood why in this case. marcus had gotten himself wrapped up in some pretty heavy shit. but xan wasn’t sure he believed the whole story as it was. “oi! mckinnon!” he said flopping into the grass beside the other male. “you ‘n me still on for this year?” he was referring to tutoring. which might be a weird subject to bring up at a party but xan never really cared much about that.

[xcnthvs-blog]

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

game grumps startersstatus: accepting

it wouldn’t be. at all. but he supposed that was the point. bellatrix was...not his favorite black family member for this exact reason. “wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you went and drowned in the lake?” he shot back, entirely unamused.

[xcnthvs-blog]

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

game grumps startersstatus: accepting

xan burst out laughing in response. “doe, i think it’s time to stop with the firewhiskey.” he said once he managed to stop laughing.

[xcnthvs-blog]

doehymns:

the POT had fully settled in — her anxiousness in HIGH gear — it was a sight to see. dorcas sat with a blank stare aside her sleeping friend, her gryffindor cape tattered at the ends as her knees bounced rapidly. large eyes carefully examined each and every passersby. it took at LEAST five full seconds for her to react to him falling, which was her leaning in his direction ( and losing her balance ) before ultimately falling atop of him. “it wasn’t me,” she whispered, glancing over both shoulders. “maybe it was those NARGLES lovegood is always on about … xan … nargles — oh my gosh. why would they do this to you?”

“lovegood is a nutter and you know it.” xan grumbled. he paused for a second and then amended his previous statement since it was a little uncharitable and xenophilius had never done anything to xan personally. “i mean he’s nice enough but do you really believe half the things that come out of his mouth?” of course dorcas was pretty far gone at the moment so he wasn’t sure if logic would work on her. “and not that this isn’t a lovely conversation but i’m not exactly comfortable right now. would mind moving so i can sit up, please?”

[trcshymemes]

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞

[xcnthvs-blog]

lucindatclks:

‘ mornin’ sunshine !! you were sleeping so peacefully, you made me want to talk to you. ‘ of course she pushed him off that. it wasn’t even a big fall, he’s perfectly fine. 

‘ what were you dreaming about, huh ?? ‘

“so you had to push me off the log?” xan questioned, making a show of brushing the dirt and leaves off of himself. and then after a minute he added. “nothin much. just ravenclaw winning the quidditch cup, it’s our year for it i feel in my bones.”

[notheodcre-blog]

regulus was sitting on a log with his elbows propped on his knees, his expressionless face in his hands as he watched a small fifth year hufflepuff ramble on to him. apparently it was the first time they were invited to a party, and they were quite thrilled about getting an invitation. every now and then, he would respond with a “really?” or “yeah?” or an occasional nod.

[xcnthvs-blog]

it was kind of funny watching regulus attempt to be interested in whatever the hufflepuff student was saying to him. after a few minutes of watching from afar xan decided to save regulus form the overenthusiastic younger student. “hey, kid. is your sister the one with the big coke bottle glasses and wild curly hair?” when they nodded xan continued. “well, you might wanna go check on her she was looking a little green the last time i saw her. she might need to go back to the the castle.” when the younger student left xan immediately claimed their spot. “yes, i know, i know you love me. but i promise no thanks are necessary, i do it all from the kindness of my heart.”

[xcnthvs-blog]

ftcyra:

HER BROWS FURROWED before her jaw dropped as if she was offended by her comment. She was tipsy, yes, but not drunk and nowhere near as drunk as she had been. “Legless? I disagree. I blame the crowds of people and their abnormally large feet sticking out and making me stumble.” Cyra nodded once, grabbing that bottle she came for.

“i was kidding. lighten up a bit. all your slytherins are so stuffy and literal.” xan said rolling his eyes. “but if you’re up to sharing that firewhiskey i wouldn’t say no.” the last part was only because xan didn’t want to go to the trouble of getting a bottle himself, never mind that they were pretty much directly behind him.

[xcnthvs-blog]

xan had the bad habit of falling asleep in really inappropriate situations when he was drunk. case in point, he’d somehow managed to doze off on top of a hollow log. he didn’t even fit comfortably on top of it. however he woke up when he found himself landing rather unceremoniously on the ground. “what was that for?” xan whined sitting up.

[ftcyra-blog]

“OH HEY, CAN I just get passed?” Cyra felt her body crash into another’s and didn’t allow a moment to think about what she had happened. “I just really need some more firewhiskey.” Her head tilted up, a slightly tipsy grin pulling on her lips. 

[xcnthvs-blog]

xan’s balance wasn’t great to start with, but given that he’d been drinking he was even easier to take off-guard. he stumbled a bit (luckily staying upright) but still managed to steady cyra and himself. he laughed at her explanation. “are you sure about that one, cy? you look a bit legless to me already.”

[cordclic-blog]

sirius staggered around the blazing fire, throwing logs haphazardly on the already huge flames. his whole body was already warm from the fire whiskey already charging through his veins, the fire heating his body even more and illuminating his face. suddenly his leg began to feel even hotter than the rest of his body, almost scorching. his eyes wandered down and he  stumbled backward in shock. a small fire had started to over take his pant leg “holy fuck,” 

[xcnthvs-blog]

when he noticed the fact sirus’ pant leg was on fire, xan quickly pulled out his wand and chanted a quick extinguishing spell. once he was sure the fire was out he put his wand back in it’s spot. “what the fuck, sirius?” he grumbled. “are you trying to become one with the kindling?”

[inthegutter-deactivated20220819]

               Remus sat by the lake, more interested in looking at the new moon in the sky.  The boy had been feeling rather under the weather due to just having shifted and was still not fully himself again.  The aches in his body had dulled, but he still felt like utter shit.  Sighing, the boy took a bite from his chocolate bar before taking a sip from his flask of Fire Whiskey.  The wizard simply couldn’t bring himself to move from the rocky shore, but he didn’t mind sitting this party out, he knew there were many more to come. 

              When he noticed someone take a seat next to him the boy cocked his head, to look at the person, “Hello?” He questioned, almost suprised someone wasn’t by the fire.

[xcnthvs-blog]

from the back xan had thought it was regulus sitting by the lake all by himself. of course xan was also just a little bit drunk so everyone looked like someone different from the back. he realized his mistake when he sat down. remus, it was remus. however, xan wasn’t about to get up and walk away again. he might not know lupin that well but he’d looked lonely. plus xan needed a reason not to continue drinking. “you looked lonely over here by yourself.” xan explained. “maybe it’s just cause i hardly ever see you without your friends around.”

he leaned back on his hands and added in dramatic undertone. “also don’t tell anyone because my pride as an irishman will be at stake, but if i drink anymore i think my liver might just give out on me.”

[aprancingpotter-blog]

“Come on take a shot with me” James said as he knocked one back again. “Don’t be a pussy and refuse. If not I’m just going to finish these bottles of fire-whiskey myself and no one wants that!” 

[xcnthvs-blog]

“oh, well if it’s in the interests of saving you from being a messy drunk.” xan said rolling his eyes but he took the shot anyway. “happy now, potter?”