IAmWhoIAm

Just trying to figure out life...who's gonna try with me?

[xcocomixmissx]

[robbstarkish]

favourite outfits

↳ margaery tyrell   

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[therubbleoroursins]

I’m fascinated by the fact that Phineas and Ferb is a show that actually exists Like I can understand how someone could have come up with the idea of an animated show about stepbrothers trying to find cool ways to spend their summer vacation And from there I can see how the characters of Candace, Isabella, Beauford, Baljeet, Jeremy, and Stacy came about But at what godforsaken point in the thought process did someone go, “Hey, what if there’s an ongoing subplot about their pet who’s a secret agent trying to stop a German guy from channeling his anger towards his abusive parents into conquering the tri-state area?” Just How

[honexjams]

hes not german hes drusselsteinian check your Facts

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[laziestofthedreamers]

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. 

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

[ladyhavilliard]

…perfect

[outerspacekake]

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

[latristereina]

The Tudors S02E08

[parkkjiminies]

My problem is that I’ll randomly get really motivated to do shit, but it’s within such a small window of time that I must do the thing at that EXACT moment and if I don’t the moment passes and I’ll have to wait like at least whole month for another random burst of motivation to do the thing ya feel

[onlytwitterpics]

[dailychuckandblair]

[plankhandles]

Cooking show I desperately want: Professional chefs compete to wow and astound totally amateur food critics who don’t know dick about shit. Get eliminated on totally arbitrary grounds such as “I don’t like sour cream.”

[chathurlant-deactivated20181203]

“I present to you the finest escargot.” “Ew I’m not eating snails. Sorry you’re chopped.”

[cunthulu420]

Petition for Chris Evans to put on the captain America outfit and physically fight Donald trump

[sabrecmc]

If you follow his twitter, I think he is like *this close*

[raejin99]

Chris Evans: one like and I will personally fist fight Trump while dressed as Captain America

Chris Evans: *likes his own tweet*

Chris Evans: Say no more

[wifiwife]

I can’t believe someone actually convinced him to post this

[wifiwife]

[highlandvalley]

[princessesfanarts]

By FDASuarez

[nojillnolife]

[suddenlysomewherethatsgreen]

Look at this! Look at this fucking thing! This was done in 1986, and used absolutely no CGI whatsoever. It was ALL practical, and ALL done through puppetry. Look at the last gif. Over a dozen vines are moving at once along with its head, lips, and tongue! In interviews Rick Moranis has stated he often forgot he was working with a puppet, as opposed to a really ugly guy. Even today it looks so real. Audrey ii is nothing short of miraculous

[diamogeddon-likes]

IM SORRY WHAT

[theabyssmeowsback]

hey trans friends

if you need binders/breast forms/makeup/etc but don’t want your parents to know, now is the best time to get it. 

you can order whatever it is online and when the package comes in if the ask what it is you can say something like “it’s a secret!” or even just sssh them. they’ll assume it’s a present for whatever holiday you celebrate and probably won’t press the issue.

[lunarecord]

oh my god this is amazing

[mypoorfaves]

I normally don’t reblog stuff like this but this is a very important life hack!

[inexplicably-gaining-followers]

make sure you actually buy a present though or else this is all going to fall apart. it doesn’t have to be expensive, e.g. a “best dad” mug, socks, a bath bomb, multi-tool variations of everyday objects, soap, tea, a candle, et cetera.

[trans-advice]

November/December, Happy Holidays

[catchymemes]

This dog was depressed for 2 years after his best friend died, but then this duck showed up

[rachelofcyberia]

dogs get reincarnated as ducks

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

all dogs go to heaven but the best boys come back for their friends