IT'S ABOUT BEING SOMETHING.

not a pawn... a queen.

[xebelean]

            ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,❝ KNEEL BEFORE YOUR QUEEN. ❞

[ #XEBELEAN: est.  2021.   ind. & selective . crossover friendly.  mostly pre52 + headcanon based. minors dni.  MERA from dc comics by monty 22 ( she / her) also on pinkringed goldignis & aeaean ]

  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, RULES          INTEREST TRACKER 

       © © 

[xmarksthescott]

I haven't posted here in a while because life is kicking my ass and I hate for this to be a post I have to make at all but it is definitely necessary to warn people about a serial abuser in the community aka cyclopstm, emeraldringed, and jedhanpilot. these screencaps and accounts came from multiple sources, all of whom wanted to be heard but were afraid to post it themselves. this document contains it all.

[gutrage]

hi everyone, my senior dog is about to pass away. cremation costs around 150. i can cover this, but it will leave me with next to nothing for the rest of the month for food and essentials. i really could use any amount of help. my paypal is [email protected] and i have a cashapp $DannyLuty. please reblog if you cant help, that in itself helps. thanks so much.

[xebelean]

xmarksthescott​:

SAME OLD MERA. he could deflect a compliment with ease, but she always batted it right back at him with grace and poise. she was so headstrong in the way she believed and how she felt, it always made him feel invincible when that thing she believed in so steadfast was him. 

for a moment, catching up and reliving the past is more interesting than the present. it’s simpler, happier, and filled with more good memories than bad. a part of him already begins to yearn for those days. 

❛ yeah i’ll bet you’ve met a lot of people. the whole ‘queen’ gig had to be something, huh? ❜

HE ALWAYS TURNED IT BACK TO HER. whenever he was given a compliment by her, it had to switch to something about her. it was something she found so endearing when they were together, but now it felt like she would burst at the seams if he did it again. she couldn’t think about herself or her life right now for the fear of crumbling in front of him as if atlas put the world on her shoulders instead.

it was something, alright. it was something she never wanted. all she ever wanted was a family, to be a wife, a mother… the title was a prerequisite for that with arthur. and she didn’t even get to keep the mother title.

 ❛ yeah… it sure was. ❜ her tone hardly hides what she’s feeling, she never could do that around him in the first place. he knew her more than knew herself most days. ❛ i wasn’t as cut out for it as my father wanted. ❜

[xebelean]

xmarksthescott​:

SUPERHERO ASK MEME / ACCEPTING @xebelean​ sent: [ ONE ] for sender’s overuse of their abilities to give them a nosebleed, causing receiver to show concern. + [ THREE ] for sender’s overuse of their abilities to make blood stream from their eyes, causing receiver to show concern.

HE DOESN’T GET THE CONCEPT OF LANTERN RINGS anymore than she gets the concept of cerebro. it was another reminder that as similar as they were, the backgrounds they came from couldn’t have been more different. 

he knows dark phoenix, an entity which needed to feel his love to feel human. and by reaching out to jean and emma’s hearts while they had it, he was able to bring them back from the brink of losing themselves completely. but the concept of red lanterns is completely different –all rage, no love. and he was told to avoid reaching out to that love lest it end her life and make her heart stop.

so he had no choice but to watch from the shadows out of sight, horrified and scared to death he’d lose another woman who’d made a home in his heart. and when she finally falls, blood streaming out from her face like that, he runs to her. she’s still red but the power is fading, which is why he assumes her friends even let him come out to see her at this point. cradling her against him, he tries for a weak smile for her benefit more than his. 

❛ hey…hi. ❜ his eyes feel misty behind their ruby barrier. ❛ do me a favor? let’s just stick to hanging out on my island for a while…no more space adventures that give you crazy red rings, alright? ❜ he teases, voice weak but relieved. 

SHE ALWAYS LIED ABOUT IT. the anger she felt on a day to day basis. “it’s gone.” “i’m at peace with it.” “i’m doing well.” anyone who knew her could see right through it. it never faded, it was always such a guttural response for her— but most importantly it was instinctual. it was her nature to be like this, after everything that she had gone through… she earned the feeling, right?

that’s what she had to tell herself.

she always did her best to keep that side of her from scott. he just knew she had a temper, mera never let him know the hatred she felt in her heart from the moment she woke to the moment she closed her eyes at night. who could love a woman like that?

when it happened this time she was far less surprised. she knew it would happen again. somehow it was going to come back to bite her in the ass… but there was no tula or aj this time. it was just her.

❛ hi scott… ❜ her voice was weak and hoarse. she forgot how much it hurt last time, it almost felt like she could feel the burning sensation in her gills almost as well as she could in her eyes and nose. the worst part was her throat, it burned for a week the last time. ❛ did it happen again…? ❜

[xebelean]

xmarksthescott​:

IT’S  ALL  ABOUT  THE  YEARNING @xebelean​: ❝  you’ve got me in the palm of your hands.  you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all.  ❞

SOMETIMES HE WANTS TO RUN. that impulse to just get out now that’s motivated by fear of losing her or putting her in danger feels so foreign to him. when he’d crafted his life around being alone, it was easy to maintain it. the loneliness was a pain he was used to –it was one he could justify. but that was before her.

she’s in his bloodstream now, too essential to erase. cutting her out now would feel like removing a limb and quite frankly, he’s not sure he could. even when he wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares of losing her, he doesn’t want to leave like his brain tells him to. 

so discreetly he sneaks out, hands pressed to the railing as he lets the cool night air hit his chest. and when he feels her hands wrap around him, he knows he doesn’t have to tell her what happened –same thing that happened for the last few nights. and she knows just what to say, relaxing him as he leans into her touch. 

❝  that’s what i’m afraid of…crushing you. leading to your undoing…putting you in the line of fire.  ❞ a beat. ❝  cause if these hands were ever good for anything, it was killing.  ❞

NIGHTMARES WERE HARDLY A STRANGER to her. it seemed like most nights she knew what would plague her mind as she slept, only to wake with a jolt and tears streaming down her face as the shield she made in her fitful sleep came crashing to the floor. (which she would have to mop up and feel ashamed.)

but he made them bearable somehow. falling asleep in his arms made it so much easier to seek comfort in them when she couldn’t take her dreams anymore. she just wondered why he always believed they would come true.

maybe that was the biggest difference between them. she feared the past, and him the future.

she let out a quiet sigh, ❛ i’m not them, my love. ❜ he knew who she was referring to, probably more than anyone. the women she bore a striking resemblance to that came before her. ❛ i won’t let you feel guilt over my death that hasn’t even happened… it’ll make you worry instead of enjoying our time together. ❜

[xebelean]

you are: unwillingly evil

you were forced. your resolve was broken slowly but surely, and now you're unsure of whether you'll ever get it back. for some reason, you believe that your current position is your fault. it isn't. it's the fault of those who did it to you. and yet you soldier on, facing forwards even as you slowly lose your will to continue. when you die, you're calm. unafraid for the first time in a while. this is the one thing they can't take from you.

stolen from: @cosmicrayed​ 

holding @xmarksthescott at gunpoint to do it

[shrimpin-aint-easy]

no shame SMH

[desscaras-world]

mera of xebel; hell hath no fury

aquaman (1962) #62 // susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh: journals and notebooks // aquaman (1989) #3 // anne carson, grief lessons: four plays by euripides // brightest day (2010) #1 // euripides, medea // blackest night (2009) #6 // safia elhillo, 'haitham', home is not a country // green lantern (2005) #50

[xebelean]

I'm here to eat some fish

[xebelean]

IT WAS A CRUEL PUNISHMENT. having to go on a honeymoon with the man who broke her heart to keep up appearances. they had promised their agent pictures, mera had no choice but to pose and smile like her life’s dreams hadn’t been ripped away from her like it was nothing.

on top of that— she didn’t have a book to read. someone ran into her and her book went flying into the water. not even the duke and his mistress would be having sex on this honeymoon. instead of reading to escape how awful she felt, she just had to wallow in it. laying in bed, eyes red and very likely dehydrated from crying— it was all she had done for days. 

knowing that when she woke up on the plane, her head on scott’s shoulder while she slept only made it worse. 

knowing that unconsciously she reached out to him for comfort— only to know she couldn’t have it once she woke seemed to rip her heart out.

mera’s head turned as she was curled up under the blankets when she heard the door opening. her hand was still fiddling with the ‘s’ pendant she used to wear with so much pride.  // @xmarksthescott​ disaster honeymoon begins

[nana-glass-chillhop-radio-hour]

She's babygirl she's a grumpy old man she's a wanted woman she's creepy and wet she's cursed by the gods she's terrible to intern for she's an enemy of the state... i didn't use her name but she popped into your head didn't she

[kitttenteeth]

Do you like biting ?

ya that’s why they’re putting me down tonight

[housemarcellus]

[xebelean]

@xmarksthescott​ 

[peanutpalace-deactivated2023011]

The haters try to put me in a crate at night

[lucydacusgirl]

Wish doctors would just tell me to go to the fucking seaside what the fuck is an anxiety disorder that’s not real you know what’s real? Ocean. Cliffs. Rocks and seashells. That’s real.

[nohohankerotomania-deactivated2]

“fish fear me” I went to the lake and none of them knew you.