Me when I first started this blog vs me now
hello vonnie
ojovivo
noise dept.

Product Placement
RMH
cherry valley forever

if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
🪼

titsay
wallacepolsom

No title available
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

izzy's playlists!
$LAYYYTER
occasionally subtle

Origami Around

Kaledo Art
will byers stan first human second
Keni

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@xenocrystic
Me when I first started this blog vs me now
Are any of my mutuals still active I haven’t been here for like 4 years 🥺
*Me sucking cock and recording* Him: oh fuck yeah Me:
Fuck burst my coffee everywhere 😭
go away
me: i don’t mind being alone also me: *feels abandoned for no reason at all, needs constant reassurance that my presence is wanted, cannot see how anyone would want to be friends with me, is not able to focus on anything because of the intense feeling of imaginary rejection*
incredible
me out alone on the weekend “treating myself” to cope w/my stress, realizing that no amount of consumerist self care will ever really do a damn thing about the dread, shame, and despair that ambiently characterize every second of my at once pointlessly indulgent and painfully unfulfilling late capitalist existence
so like okay,
I don’t know why I’ve been obsessively thinking about the concept of “gaydar”
but I have.
Actually no it’s because a straight family member used the term like
“oh I have really great gaydar”
and it made me feel really gross
and it took me like a full hour to realize why.
When heterosexual people say that,
it feels like they’re bragging about their ability to clock us, you know?
like a straight person is telling me that they can spot us queers at 50 paces
and i’m immediately going to be uncomfortable with that,
whereas when other queer folks talk about being able to spot each other
it’s a tool for survival.
Like here’s the thing right?
being able to tell is important sometimes.
Here’s an example:
A couple summers ago I was in a very very small town in Nova Scotia, Canada
(like 6 buildings small)
and I met a woman in the library who was probably a little older than my actual mother.
She was there most days using the wifi
because she lived across the street in an apartment without internet.
We sat at the same table a few times and spoke briefly about life in passing
and after a few of these not-talking-about-gay-stuff convos I was pretty sure she was a part of the lgbtq community
and I slipped in a casual pronoun re: an ex
and she just looked at me,
stopped completely
and said “oh thank fuck, I thought so.”
and instantly started talking about her girlfriend,
it was like this huge wave of relief washed over both of us
because we were in a small rural town and both hovering in this really queer space and unable to talk about it.
Anyway she was really rad and took me to the closest big town to buy me a tim hortons coffee
because she found it reprehensible that I had been in canada for more than 3 weeks already and hadn’t ever had it.
Almost instantly it was like
“oh okay we have this thing in common that other people may not be cool with
but we can actually exist and not hide shit without the fear of violence or anger”
but when it’s a straight person
they’re pretty much just letting you know that they can spot the fact that you seem “abnormal” to them
like great
thanks for letting me know.
[spaces added for accessibility]
We’re identifying brethren while they’re identifying outsiders. It’s that simple.
Numb // Linkin Park 80s Remix
I didn’t know how much I needed this until I heard it.
The original song is how depression felt at first, this version is how it feels now
that boy you just called a krusty krab? his name is patrick
u ever wake up from a dream like “damn i guess i’m not coping with THAT as well as i thought i was”
What if you poked me in the chest and your finger broke through like you were cracking into a rotted plank of wood and dust came out and I just crumpled into nothing and my spores got into your nose
I would not hang out with you again that's for sure!
Well there you have it!
[plunges hand into water, pulls out a live lobster, and answers it like a phone]
[places lobster gently back into the tank]
Wrong number
I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao
This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this
VIBE CHECK
I FILMED MYSELF READING THIS TWITTER POST AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO STOP LAUGHING
This is the content I'm here for, thank you
Where is the rest of this movie I need it
The fact they think INT stands for international