Hello there. This one has yet to formally introduce itself. It goes by the name Xeruthana, or Xeri for short. As you can tell, it chooses to identify with it/its pronouns. This one has been alive and kicking for 25ish years (far too long in this one's opinion), and will likely continue to be around for many more to come.
This blog is used for writing. More specifically, writings that tend to fall somewhere in the "Empty Spaces" category/genre. What that means for those who follow is that they'll be seeing lots of posts related to dolls and witches. Some related to mechs, robotics and androids.
All of the stories and pieces it writes are special to it in some way or another. They reflect a part of itself that it has been scared to see in the mirror, but that must be dragged into the light. This one refuses to play at humanity any longer.
That's all for now. There will likely be much more writing to come in the future, and it sincerely hopes you enjoy and even perhaps find solace in the pieces it creates.
Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.
im glad we're in the internet backwaters i think if dove chocolate or something replied to my post i would just keep reporting them for terorism again and again and again
Since I'm going to focus more on getting commissions, I'm gonna close oc requests soon. I wanted to go out on a bang tho! I'm going to do one more round of free requests. As usual, there's no rules. Drop a ref in the comments and I'll draw your baby. No follow, reblog, like, anything. Just send a ref :3 I'll close this come Saturday and start drawing then. After that, I won't take requests anymore, but commissions and art trades will remain open if anyone wants art from me :3
first day in the time loop it is not a loop yet. i go about my day and its a pretty good day and when i make my evening cup of tea i wish all days were like this
second day in the time loop and in the moment before waking i have a dream about something i have to do tomorrow. i do not realise i will never get to do it.
fourth day in the time loop i realise i am mouthing along to my lecturer even though i do not know anything about the sampling of early electronic music.
sixth day in the time loop my friend says hello to me and i say 'yes i know'. she looks at me funny and i apologise. she starts telling me about her girlfriend and i simply do not care. i feel mean for not caring. when i get home i accidentally walk into a doorframe which does not improve my mood. i realise i already have a bruise on my elbow.
seventh day in the time loop i realise there has been a cloud shaped like a weasel outside my bedroom window for the last week. i think 'what are the chances of that' and then i realise the chances are very very low.
eighth day in the time loop i skip everything i had planned to sit by the river and read. i know all about the sampling of early electronic music now and if i have to listen to the radio play summertime or my friend talk about her girlfriend and her stupid cat one more time i am going to scream.
ninth day in the time loop the irony of hearing summertime every day becomes apparent. i am trapped in an endless summer day. i remember the saying about not being able to stand in the same river twice so i make a point of standing in the same river for half an hour on the off chance i'm doing it at the same time as i dipped my feet in yesterday just so i could be the exception.
tenth day in the time loop it is very obvious that no one else know they are in a loop. i wonder if the whole world is looped and i'm just the only one who knows it or if i'm the only one who is looped and the world is seeing endless double exposures of me. i wonder which loop is the real one.
twelfth day in the time loop i start to think about video games. playing the same level over and over and over again. you die on the same point of the level every time but you re appear the start to have another go. i wonder what part of the day i am stuck on. which obstacle i have to beat to get to move on to tomorrow.
thirteenth day in the time loop i am remembering everything now. i do not think i did at the start but i can definitely remember what i had for breakfast yesterday morning because that was today. my friend calls me in the middle of the night asking why i wasn't at the lecture. i start telling her that i've already been to that lecture six times when it hits midnight and the loop resets.
fourteenth day in the time loop i drive as far away as possible to see if i still wake up in my bed when the loop resets. i get a cheese and pickle sandwich from a gas station but it sucks so i leave without paying. i do buy a packet of gum though. just not the sandwich. i wonder how food works in a time loop and suppose food consumed gets um-consumed. the radio stills play summertime and as i drive i think about the inherent time loop of a song. the exact same four and a half minutes over and over and over again. i wonder if we have a god complex about our favourite songs. i wonder if i am getting to wound up in the themes of the time loop and if there is an easier way to solve this than getting philosophical. it is a long car ride and i have a lot of time to think. but still only twenty four hours.
fifteenth day in the time loop i get up early wash my hair and sit outside on the porch. a woman walks past with her dog. they were not there on the fourteen day and i think this is a good sign.
sixteenth day in the time loop i open my diary and see that i have been writing on the same page over and over and over. i turn the page and write 'today is tomorrow' in big letters.
on the seventeenth day i the loop breaks. i still don't know what i did. i don't think it was the diary page because that reset but the world didn't. or i didn't. or something. i go to the scheduled lecture and i'm so relieved its not about early electronic samples i get lost in the lecturer's voice and forget to take notes. i order a piece of lemon cake from the cafe because they didn't have it yesterday but they do today. i hang out with my friend and she tells me about some endearing silly thing her girlfriend did and i laugh. it's a nice day. i find myself thinking 'i wish more days were like this' but i don't think i do, actually.
Did you know dolls can bleed?
Of course they can. Anyone with a passing interest in the subject can know that. Otherwise what'd be the point in hurting them? They can carry around some wounds for ages, bleeding all the while.
Did you know monsters can bleed?
Of course they can. If it bleeds you can kill it, and nothing makes a person feel better than killing a monster. Let out all the disgusting little tendencies they pretend they don't have. By any real metric it's killer's heart is blacker than coal, but, Oops! That's not what anyone cares about.
Did you know that love can bleed?
Of course it can. Run run rivers red. Everyone bleeds for love, but love itself can bleed, will bleed, has bled. Drowning in it, thirsting of it, water water everywhere runs thin over the sharpness of fang and claw. Arrow of sinner and righteous alike are still arrows.
So the bleeding bloody half broke quarter broke all broke beast puts another step in front of another. It's never been given permission to stop.
"All monsters must die bloody, and by a hero's hands, and soon," he says over brunch.
He doesn't think it's a rude thing to say in front of a monster. There are no rude things to say to monsters, only rude things monsters say.
"Don't worry," she says between bites, "You're one of the good ones."
"But I am still a monster," I do not say. I do not say that I love my claws and teeth, my prehensile shadow and my glowing eyes. That I cannot imagine giving them up even for survival, that to hide my shadow and trim my claws for them makes me feel diminished. In public I cannot say that I do not wish to be human.
They're progressives, this bunch, even if he carries a hero's banner with its proud history and none of them ask him to put it away. They know there are good monsters, monsters who can speak eloquently and hold the fork right, monsters you can be seen with in public. Some of their best friends are monsters.
They do not know the monster who is invited to brunch knows solidarity with the monster who is not. Believes and understands the monster who is not invited more than the human who does the inviting.
"Isn't that a little harsh?" says a third human, and I have not forgotten I am outnumbered. "We have ways of killing monsters without blood now, painlessly. And, of course, a monster should be allowed to live if it never growls."
He has never seen me growl. Yet how loudly and endlessly I will, when I'm out of earshot. He's talking about killing monsters who cannot stoop to civility, about mother and brother and lover who were never able to mute themselves like me, and does he not know how small a child who can only growl is?
"To growl is not to kill," I say, and all heads turn toward me. It is one of those rude things monsters say.
I kind of miss when Animal Crossing characters were assholes and I could go to the bar and get fucked up drunk in Rune Factory and fuck up a relationship so hard in Harvest Moon they went off and married someone else.
If being a girlblogger doesnt work out i could always become a many armed many toothed creature singing from a thousand misshapen mouths to herald a new age
If I was a goddess would you let me unmake then remake you? You wouldn't even have to remember divine light crawling into your skin, boiling you cell by cell into my radiance until you're nothing but a thought then reformed from that thought forever changed by my perception but unable to know anything else. You could just find yourself crawling out of the floor, skin too warm, and head foggy. Wouldn't that be nice?
You look down at the crumpled piece of paper in your hands one more time, the address scrawled across it barely legible. The scrap of information hastily given to you as you were decommissioned, done out of a guide-lined necessity over any ounce of compassion. You didn’t think anything of it during your departure but here you are, desperate. The door in front of you has however, stopped you in your tracks. A small barrier causing you to rethink this entire decision. On the one hand they might be able to help things like you, maybe they’ll know what you are now, what you need to do. On the other, what if they can’t, what if it doesn't get better than this...You try to push the thought from your mind as you will yourself forward, through the doorway, and into the unknown.
On the other side you slam into a wall of incomprehensible noise, the sound of dozens of conversations all happening at once around the room. The unfiltered cacophony painful in your ears. You desperately wish it was still being filtered by dozens of layers of sensors and electronic defence systems. Looking around the room does nothing to ease your feelings, groups of people sit scattered at several old looking tables, some playing what seems to be a type of card game, others just chatting and laughing between each other. The entire environment is completely foreign to you. You’ve never been in a room with this many people in it, unless you count the engineers in your hanger, but you were hardly ever separated from the isolation of your cockpit long enough to notice.
“Hey, are you new?” A cheery voice cuts through your thoughts and your eyes focus on the small framed girl in front of you.
“Uh…” Panic catches in your throat at suddenly being perceived and your mind empties of all rational responses.
“Wanna come with me? I’ll introduce you to some of us!” Her voice full of confidence as she turns and starts heading towards a small table to the side of the room, her face beaming back at you as she goes.
Looking around awkwardly you manage to push yourself into moving after her. Anxiety sitting like a stone in your stomach as you approach a table of compete strangers. The idle chatter of the table starts to die down as you catch up to the smaller girl.
“Hey guys, made a new friend! Be nice.” She stares with mock intensity at the group before giggling and sliding into one of the free seats around the table, the metal screeching against the floor as she gestures for you to do the same.
“H-hi” You manage to squeak out while you pull out the free chair and cautiously take a seat.
They all smile and offer gentle welcomes, you try your best to respond pleasantly but you haven't had this much social interaction since you were a child, before you were recruited.
“How’d you hear about this place?” You hear one of them ask.
“Oh um...they said there would be people like me here that could... help...”
They all nod and smile once again and the conversation continues on without you, occasionally flowing towards you as you offer a nod or a one word answer. All you can think about is how exposed you feel, surrounded by so many people with no armour or weapons. A constant stream of system data replaced by the overwhelming onslaught of social cues and irrelevant conversations.
“Oh hey!” one of them directs towards you, “What kinda rig did you have?”
You tilt your head in confusion, her question asked so excitedly you feel stupid for having not idea what it could mean. It must be clearly written across your face because she starts to clarify.
“Ya know like, us four here all ran pretty standard type seven movers but I know a few of the others got to fuck around with those fancy ship shunters they have at the space ports...” She finishes and they all turn to you expectantly.
“Oh right uh…well all combat mechs are custom built to the pilot, I think I heard the techs call her a Crimson class once though.” Your voice comes out weak, part of your brain desperately searching for details you know you don't have. You didn't need to know such things so they never told you, and for all you cared she was made of you, and you of her, nothing else mattered.
You look up, shaking the memories away only to be met with wide eyed stares from everyone at the table. “Y-you were a combat pilot?” one of them states more than asks. You nod cautiously, sensing the sudden mood shift around the table.
“Like with the neural ports and everything?” another one asks, curiosity mixed with another emotion you are unable to read plastered across each of their faces.
Instinctively you reach to the back of your neck, the circular holes in your flight suit leaving the cold metal open to your touch. The suit does its best to hide them from a casual glance at least.
“I thought it was too dangerous to let you guys out in public?” One of the girls mutters. “My friend told me combat pilots were all comatose.” Says another, more to herself then to you.
The one that had invited you to the table grabs them both aggressively by the arm and says something under her breath but you don’t hear it. You can feel yourself shutting down rapidly, social functions failing as you spiral. The looks on their faces burning into your memory. It was stupid to think they’d be any different, that they’d be able to help, to know what to do now. Instead they look at you the same way everyone does.
You excuse yourself from the table, voice catching in your throat as you stumble on the legs of your chair. None of the girls make any attempt to stop you past a few vague half-hearted protests. Quickly you make your way towards the exit, trying desperately not to crash into anyone in your haste. Bursting through the door the cold night air quickly fills your lungs, you can’t help but gasp for more. Everything is too much, your skin is too exposed, lacking the critical armour to protect you from the world. Without even thinking you turn the corner into the alley beside the building in search of a safe haven. You stumble past the dumpster before collapsing down, dragging your knees into your chest with your back wedged into the dirty corner formed by the brick wall and the cold metal of the dumpster. You try your best to wrap yourself up into your arms and legs, craving the safety of a cockpit. You can’t keep living like this, constantly shifting between too numb to experience the world and too stimulated to control yourself. What’s the point? Why did they even let you go out into the world like this.? How could they separate you from what you’d become? You feel like your entire system has been burnt out over and over again and the only thing that could hold you together is sitting in a hanger somewhere, waiting to be scrapped for parts so they can start again with some other child. Tears burn at the corners of your eyes. Why couldn't they just let you keep her somehow? You can’t keep it down anymore and sobs rack through your body as you curl yourself tighter, hoping you would just disappear.
“You miss her huh?” A gentle voice cuts through your sobbing.
You freeze and dart your eyes up. Sitting across from you, her knees also pulled to her chest, you find the source of the voice. A woman with her hands clasped around her legs. The moon only illuminates the very edges of her person, making it hard to see many details beyond the gentle smile on her face. You’re sure you’ve never met this woman before, yet something about her seems oddly familiar. She tilts her head inquisitively and you realise she asked you a question.
“W-what?” you manage to stutter out while trying to wipe the tears off your face.
Her smile deepens and she leans further forward, “Your mech? You’re missing her right?”
“Wh- How did you…huh?” is all you can manage to get out in her direction before she giggles, her hand covering her mouth as she does.
Wordlessly she turns her head to the side and pulls her hair up and away revealing her neck. Sparkling in the moonlight you can clearly see the several data ports running down her neck and below her jacket. They look remarkably similar to the ones you have, although a few generations older. Your eyes grow wide as you instinctively reach up to touch your own in response. She lets her hair cascade back down to cover them and wraps her arms around her knees to once again mimic your posture. Seemingly satisfied in having quelled your confusion.
“How long have you been out?” her voice soft and gentle, a harsh contrast to the dark, damp alley surrounding the both of you.
“Oh uh…about a week I think, it all kinda blurs together” your voice a little stronger this time, the presence of someone like you a welcome distraction.
“Oh shit wow!” she blurts out before quickly covering her mouth. “Sorry it’s just, wow yea I figured you were freshly out but wow... one week? I’m so sorry.”
You try to smile back at her but you can’t stop the tears from building up, your vision quickly blurring. You don’t know what to feel, one week has already been a living hell but sitting right in front of you is proof that someone has survived much longer. Are you just uniquely useless or is she just stronger than you?
“It took my sister and I a long long time to get on our feet…” She stares off past you for a moment before continuing, “She was always a much better pilot than I was, which of course meant her body broke down way before mine did. So many nights spent just holding each other, wondering how to even exist anymore.”
Her voice wraps itself around you and gives you something to focus on, her words feel like a blanket around you. It’s almost enough to convince you that at this moment, nothing is wrong. How could she speak so calmly and confidently about something so horrible if everything isn’t going to turn out ok? Maybe you can let yourself think that, just for this moment.
“We even have our own place now!” She exclaims with a jolt of joy you weren't expecting, forcing you away from your thoughts. “Speaking of which, wanna crash at ours? It’s not far from here and I’m sure a warm apartment beats that shitty pilots shelter.” Her smile still unwavering.
“Oh no I couldn't possibly impose like that, and plus the shelter isn't all bad. We have bread this week!” You nervously chuckle, breaking eye contact with her and pulling yourself further into your protective ball.
She stands up with a grunt and takes a step closer to you, hand outstretched. “Sweetie that shelter is fucking awful and you wouldn't be imposing one bit. If anything, knowing a pretty pilot is all alone when she could have been warm and safe with us would be far far worse.”
You look up at her, a deep blush growing on your face at her words. “No point in arguing with someone that has clearly made up their mind!” you rationalise before grabbing her hand as she pulls you up off the dirty floor. Her arm immediately links into yours and she pulls you forwards out onto the sidewalk with her, the contact not helping the blush still visible on your face.
“Name’s Artemis by the way.”
You nod and whisper back to her, “I uh, don't have one yet…”
She smiles “I know sweetie, don’t worry you’ll get there.”
~~~
A short walk later you find yourself standing in front of a door for the second time in a few hours. Artemis fumbles through a key chain trying to find the right one to give her access to the apartment and quietly cursing under her breath. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself, hoping that going through this door goes a lot better than the last one.
“Ah there we go!” Artemis finally finds the right key as the door clicks open and she gestures for you to head inside.
You shuffle your way through the door and into the dimly lit room. Looking around the sparse area in front of you is comforting. A small living room with a couch against the far wall and a small table covered in various bowls and glasses greets you. The low warm lights a welcome change from the bright florescents of the last room you entered tonight.
“Home!” The woman behind you yells out into the apartment.
“Yay!” an excited voice calls back from what you assume is the bedroom.
Turning towards the noise in time you see a short woman come skipping through the doorway. Her long blonde hair bouncing everywhere as she collides with Artemis and wraps her into a deep hug.
“Missed you so much Arty.” She mumbles into Artemis’s chest, you blush and look away. The display of sisterly love something entirely foreign to you.
“Missed you too sis, sorry I took so long. Our games went a little long.” Artemis wraps her sister up in her arms, a smirk crossing her face as she makes eye contact with you. “I brought home a stray to make it up to you though.”
You don’t know why but being spoken about like this causes your face to heat up. You almost speak up to protest but the smaller woman beats you to it.
“Oh yea? You win her in a bet or something?” She giggles to herself, Artemis rolls her eyes.
“No you dork, She’s just been decommissioned.” her voice falling on a more gentle tone.
“Oh…”
The smaller woman untangles from the hug and hops over towards you, her oversized sweater bouncing as she does.
“Hi! I’m Chloe, really nice to meet you and...I’m sorry” Her voice is utterly sincere.
You don’t really know what you were expecting. A part of you is screaming to leave while you still can, you just met these people and you’re already in their home, it’s stupid to feel safe just because they’re like you. A larger part of you is just tired, tired and happy to be in a warm building for once. They’re both being so nice to you and you can’t tell if it’s some sort of ploy, all of your training is telling you it’s a trap. That the moment you let your guard down it’s over. You are frozen in between these thoughts, starring down at the floor wishing you could curl up and hide.
“She’s been staying at the shelter so I figured we could give her a warm bed, and maybe you can show her your setup?” Artemis’s gentle voice bounces around the mostly empty room.
“Yea?”
“Mhm, She’s like you.” Artemis smirks, her arms wrapping around Chloe from behind. “Misses her cockpit so much it hurts.”
She plants a kiss on her younger sisters cheek, a strange feeling bubbles up in your stomach and you try your best to look away. Blood rushing to your ears. Their actions feel entirely too intimate for you to be watching. It reminds you of the way some of the other pilots would blow of steam with each other, something you were never allowed to participate in. Instead you had to sit by and try to interpret the lingering looks and acts of affection between squad mates. But these two were sisters, it can’t be like that. You must be misinterpreting again, and it’s not like you really know how siblings are meant to interact anyway.
“C’mon cutie, bedroom’s through here.” Chloe gestures to one of the two doors.
“Oh uh, I’ll be ok on the couch.” You try and argue.
“No no you need a proper bed, we are not letting you sleep on that shitty couch.” She counters back, her tone more serious now.
“Seriously I’ll be fine, anything is better than those shelter beds.” You joke, trying to diffuse the tension you’re suddenly feeling.
“I could make her?” Artemis says casually to the both of you.
“Wah?” Is all you can manage in response.
Her comment catches you off guard, the words setting off some ingrained training deep within you. Adrenaline starting to surge through you as you try and decide between fight or flight. Artemis cracks a smile at you, her posture straightening up as she takes a few steps towards you.
“Attention pilot!” She barks at you.
The words immediately stop you in your tracks. The survival training instantly breaking away, your muscles tense and you stand as tall as you can. You know you don’t have to, only your handler could force you to obey but some part of you wants to listen. You could easily just ignore the command and turn around to leave, you’re pretty sure they wouldn't even stop you if you tried hard enough. But the warm building. The promise of a soft bed. People like you. It’s all too much to resist and so you let yourself fall back on your training. You give up your control and accept that maybe they do just want to help.
“Combat report came back pilot.” Her voice loud enough to command but still holding a gentle tone. “Your neural reactivity is all over the place and your sync is way down. Starting immediately you’re grounded until you get some proper rest.”
“B-but…” you stammer in response.
“This is not a request pilot. You will follow us to our quarters and you will rest until these readings improve, is that understood?”
“Yes ma’am.” You whisper.
Before anything else can be said Chloe grabs a hold of your arm and begins leading you towards the bedroom. Artemis follows up directly behind you both as you walk through the door. The room itself is tiny, a large bed is squished into one corner barely leaving enough space for the basket of clothes on the floor next to it. Thick curtains cover the tiny window and a string of lights trace around the four walls, a soft purple glow emitting from them. The bed is covered in blankets and plush toys, a small nest of them built up in the corner with an open laptop sitting there.
Chloe begins to move the laptop and clear a space on the bed while Artemis begins to search through the clothes in the basket. Satisfied with her work, Chloe craws back towards your side of the room and wordlessly slips behind you, grabbing the zipper at the back of your flight suit. You reach up in a panic but Artemis takes your hands in hers, a warm smile across her face as she tells you that it’s ok. The sound of the zipper being undone fills the room as your flight suit drops to the floor around you. Before you can really react to the warm air on your skin fabric is pulled over your head. Suddenly you are covered in an old band shirt that is way too big for you. It hangs off your form and extends down to your knees.
Artemis gestures for you to hop on the bed and you follow without complaint, climbing into the puddle of toys and blankets. She climbs in after you, squeezing herself against the wall while Chloe fiddles around under the bed. After a short pause she pops back up with something metal held in her hands.
“Arty said you missed being in a cockpit.” Her voice is gentle as she stares down at the object in her hand. “This really helps me when I’m missing Drifter…Do you trust me?”
You look up at her in the dimly lit room, her expression is tough to read, her eyes starring deep into yours as they look for an answer. You nod. She continues to stare into you for a moment before smiling, her posture relaxing slightly as she does. She crawls forward, kneels down onto the bed, and pulls you up into a sitting position in front of her. Artemis grabs your hair and pulls it off the back of your neck as Chloe reaches around you. You feel the cold touch of metal on your upper back for a brief moment before there is a heavy “click” and you feel your neural ports fill up, causing you to gasp and flinch. For a brief moment expect to be connected to another mind...but nothing happens. Looking up at Chloe in confusion you see her move her hands around to the front of your neck and hear another “click” as more metal clasps around your neck.
Reaching up to investigate you find a collar wrapped around your neck. Confusion evaporates from your body as you recognise the design as an older form of neural spike, the collar designed to keep the ports connected during the intensity of piloting. Later models of both mechs and spikes evolved past the need for such a thing.
“It doesn't connect to anything unfortunately but, it helps me when I’m missing her. I know it isn’t the same as what you would have had but I hope it helps... at least a little.” Chloe speaks almost away from you, her voice shaking slightly.
“It feels…” you take a long moment to concentrate on the feeling, a feeling you’ve been desperately missing. “…It feels really nice”
“Good, then lets both of you get some sleep ok?” Artemis speaks for the first time in a while from behind you.
Strong arms wrap around your waist from behind you as Artemis pulls you under the blankets and firmly into a tight cuddle. Chloe fiddles around with a speaker for a brief moment before snuggling up into the front of you. Her hand resting on the back of your head as she gives you a few gentle pats. Muffled sounds begin to play out into the room, gentle and distant. It starts to envelop you, the loud engineering noises of a workshop dampened by the thick armour of a cockpit. The gentle breathing of the two sisters joins the symphony and for the first time in over a week sleep comes easy.
~~~
A shifting disturbs you, movement across from you drawing you to consciousness. You open your eyes and find yourself still in the dimly lit room. Your back pressed tightly into the warm body behind you and your face resting gently against the chest of the girl in front of you. Blood rushed to your face as you become more aware of the situation. You remember falling asleep pressed between the two sisters. You attempt to wriggle slightly but you are only met with the arms around your waist holding you tighter with a sleepy groan.
“Morning pilot.” A gentle whisper comes from above you.
You look up to see Chloe’s face smiling down at you, her hair a mess and her eyelids half open.
“Enjoying the view?” She says with a giggle.
Your face heats up even more in response. You want to hide but the two bodies pressed against you have you trapped, leaving you with one option. You push your face further into her chest in a desperate attempt to hide from her gaze. Her giggles intensify as you do, her hand covering her mouth in an attempt to not wake up her sister.
“Fuck you are adorable.” She whispers between laughter.
You let out a half groan half whimper. It is far too early in the morning to be experiencing such an onslaught. Her arms move to wrap you up further in her embrace, her form enveloping most of you. Her sister sleepily holding the rest of you.
“Chloe…” you mumble into her chest.
“Yea?”
“You and Artemis are close right?” You pull your head from her chest to meet her eyes.
She stares back at you for a moment, considering the question. “Well yea, we spent years with our thoughts in each others brains. Can’t get much closer than that.”
“Right...I-Uh, What is that like?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well it just seems...I never really- I wasn’t like- I dont know, having a sister to look out for you seems really nice…” You barely manage to choke out the words, too embarrassed to meet her eyes.
She doesn't respond for a moment. Her eyes scan up and down your face. You begin to worry you said something wrong, the intense expression scrawled across her face difficult for you to read. After what feels like forever the look breaks and her lips curl into a smile.
“I could show you.” Her voice barely a whisper.
She shuffles closer towards you, a feat you thought would be impossible. Her face close enough to yours you can feel the heat on your cheeks. Her eyes again scanning your face.
“Do you trust me...sis?” Her hot breath brushes against your lips.
Her eyes pierce through you as you let out a shaky breath, your stomach feels like it’s being flipped around a million times. Her body is pressed against yours, the warmth is so inviting. The warmth surrounding you has you feeling as safe as 100 tons of armour used to, it feels like nothing can go wrong. You nod.
She closes the remaining distance between you in an instant. Her lips collide with yours hard, the softest attack you’ve ever felt. Her hand reaches up to cup your face and you feel a strange warmth spreading through your body. You don't know how long it’s been when she finally pulls away, a gentle whine chasing her lips as they leave.
“How was that?” She teases.
Feeling confident for the first time in weeks you close the distance again, clumsily pressing your lips against hers. The warmth of her embrace something you’re beginning to crave. A small moan vibrates against your lips catching you by surprise. Your second ever kiss proving to be even better than the first, even though you have no idea what you’re doing. Movement stirs behind you, the hands wrapped around your stomach grab you tighter as you feel hot breath on your neck.
“Mmmm baby, are you playing with our pilot without me?” Artemis speaks up from behind you, her voice groggy.
You freeze for a moment, unsure how to respond. Pulling back you look towards Chloe, a grin growing across her face as she props herself up on her elbow.
“Oh hi sis. Our little pilot here wanted to know what having a sister was like.”
“Oh? Is that so?” Artemis giggles. “And so you stuck your tongue down her throat huh?”
“Geez sis it’s not like she’s actually related to me.” Chloe's eyes roll as she speaks.
“Not like that would ever stop you, freak.”
Artemis pushes you flat onto the bed, her strong arms holding you down as she leans over and kisses her sister. The two of them making out above you while you’re pinned to the bed, each of them moaning gently into the others mouth. You’re transfixed, starring at the two of them above you as a deep blush grows across you. Your heart pumping faster and faster. Their kiss finally breaks leaving them both out of breath. Both of their attentions now turning towards you.
“Arty, I think our pilot is feeling left out.” Chloe’s says with an exaggerated pout.
“Aw I think you’re right.” Artemis giggles.
They both descend on you, a pair of lips meeting with yours. A much more aggressive kiss than the first few. More lips land at your neck causing you to moan into the tongue currently exploring your mouth. Legs start to straddle your hips, a hand grabbing your hair as your mouth is mapped of every detail. A second body pulls in close to your side, her hands wandering under the baggy shirt you’re still wearing. The warm touch of fingers across your bare skin causes butterflies to flutter in your stomach. A hand starts to dance at the edge of your panties, teasing the fabric. You have no idea whose hand belongs to who and you don’t care. Something deep is bubbling up inside you, a burning desire you can’t help but feed.
“P-please.” You manage to squeak out.
Lips slam back into you preventing you from saying anything else. The hands roaming your body climb up towards your chest, teasing circles being drawn around your tits. Another hand finally dips below the line of your panties and between your thighs. Your hips buck and shake in response, the mass of sensory inputs overwhelming your system. Your hands grip the sheets around you in an attempt to ground yourself, the attacks against you only getting more intense.
“She looks so pretty like this.” A voice reaches your ears, you can’t tell whose.
“Fuck sis we might just have to keep her.”
More words are said but it all becomes just noise to you. Every touch and kiss and bite and pinch just pushes you further away from composure. You buck your hips further into the hand between your legs, begging for more friction. The hands against your chest squeeze and pinch at your sensitive skin. A mouth planting rough kisses up your neck and across your jaw. The tongue dancing across your lips still conquering your mouth.
You feel a pressure building across your system. A feeling you’d only get after tearing apart an enemy with your claws. The pressure building as if you’re deploying countermeasures to perfectly counter an attack against you. You body vibrating like you just emptied a mag into an exposed cockpit. Noises you’d only make after tearing apart an entire squadron without a scratch on you. You feel stuck in a feedback look and nothing can save you, you’re burning up without a chance of being saved.
Teeth pierce the skin on your neck and a critical mass is reached. You tense and curl as something fires through you like plasma. Everything that had been building comes crashing down as you groan into the girl above you. A tidal wave of pleasure and agony coiling and crashing down upon you. Your body bucking wildly into the warm bodies holding you down.
Eventually the fire raging through you burns itself down into an ember. You take a breath for what feels like the first time in hours. You finally open your eyes again to see the sisters moving into more comfortable positions. Chloe pulls you towards her chest, her arms and legs wrapping you into a warm embrace. Artemis closes in from your front, closing the trap around you. Their hands gently caressing you as you come down from whatever was just done to you.
You smile and nuzzle your head as deep into the chest in front of you as you can. Tension that had been crushing you all but evaporated now as you feel the two bodies protecting you like armour. A gentle kiss is placed on your forehead and a voice vibrates through you.
“Rest up pilot, you’re safe here.”
You still don’t know what the future holds for you. You don’t know what you are or what you’ll do.
But right here right now, maybe you want to find out.
~~~
ko-fi
any support appreciated, especially nice comments <3
Xeri's Dollish Scribbles @xeruthana - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
