~Caroline~ @xhellocarolinex - Tumblr Blog

You exist because you won a race between millions and millions of sperms, meaning you won a 0.00000005 chance of fertilizing the egg, by percentage: 0.000005%

xhellocarolinex

Are we winning tho?

raduim

catchymemes

Meet Smudge the table cat

https://instagram.com/smudge_lord

inactivewhore

So I found this on Twitter and it really did not disappoint

mysharona1987

moveslikekeithrichards

worst part of driving is when ur going 15 over the limit & ur still getting passed by everyone like bastards You are the animals here not me

xhellocarolinex

Obviously you haven’t been to New Jersey.

especiallyecho

afloweroutofstone

Shoutout to the U.S. embassies in Austria, Chile, India, and South Korea who have directly ignored orders from the Trump administration in flying the pride flag

bendingsignpost

They’ve found really clever workarounds, as they were banned from flying the pride flag on the flag pole.

They aren’t ignoring orders: they are obeying the orders to the exact letter.

purple-beard

Malicious compliance

hashtagking

Who’s dick I gotta suck to get super powers wtf. It’s 2019 I at least expected to be able to transform into animals by now. I’m just tryna live out the rest of my days as an emotionally stable armadillo.