let me be

i've become familiar with the villains in my head

[houseofcardshq-deactivated20190]

tae opened the pretty paper bag before pulling out two rectangular containers, the way they were served making it obvious that they were from a higher end restaurant. he opened one, sliding the lid under the base before setting it in front of sunny before opening his as well, snapping his chopsticks apart. “i always want you to say,” he answered softly, and in turn it was kind of true. sometimes he felt like he was forcing sunny to stay after nights of soft whimpers and sheer fisting. and the times he felt that way he wish he didn’t, but most times, he liked it, it made his king sized bed a little less empty, and the casual sex a little more worth it. in all actuality tae felt for sunny deeply, it was a lot for him to let him go in the mornings. thankfully they were close. and most afternoons ended this way,

[xhsunny-blog]

sunny couldn’t help but grin in excitement at the food, although he felt a pang of guilt as he realised the quality and how much it must have cost. although taemin was significantly richer than sunny was, he did still feel bad for letting him pay so much towards him. although, he clapped him hands giddily at the sight of the food, thanking taemin before breaking his own chopsticks apart and taking his first bite. the words from the other send a flutter of butterflies to sunny’s stomach. he looked back up, seeing the sincerity in taemin’s gaze, and looking away again. “ i’m sorry. ” he almost-whispered. “ i want to stay. i will, from now on. i will. ” he promised with a shy nod. now that he had said that, sunny doubted he would ever leave. he hated leaving taemin so much already, and to know that the other actually wanted his to stay meant a lot. sunny had to stop himself from getting convinced that it meant anything. he refused to believe that.

[xhsunny-blog]

how do you really feel about taemin?

  “ he’s– he’s special. i don’t have many people in my life, taemin is one of them, and he’s the one i don’t want to lose. he makes me feel happy. warm. even though sex is what we do, that’s not all he is to me. i can’t touch anybody, but i never want to stop touching him. i want to be more to him than i am, but for now, i guess i’m happy. ”

[xhsunny-blog]

what is holding you back from controlling your powers

  “ anxiety? fear? name anything that makes a person’s head fucked up and you’re probably right. ”

[xhsunny-blog]

what is your favorite thing to do?

  “ i like reading. i actually … really love reading. it’s calming. it’s nice. ”

[xhsunny-blog]

[danger]

Day 6 of 265 by  Sarah Ann Loreth

[houseofcardshq-deactivated20190]

“aishi hate that this stresses you so much,” taemin said with a frown reaching over to pet the younger’s hair, scratching his scalp softly before raking his manicured nails through it sympathetically. “no puddin’ don’t give up, when i say concentrate less i mean don’t strain yourself, concentrating and straining are different.” he said retracting his hand, crossing his leg over the other, “i brought gimbap? i felt like we needed something different than what the cafe was serving, plus if you’re going to comeback to it you need brain food not junk.” he pulled out two bottles of water and two pairs of chopsticks. “i missed you last night, ” tae said softly, “you usually don’t leave after…”

[xhsunny-blog]

  sunny let out a quiet hum of pleasure at the feeling of having the other’s fingers gently caressing his hair. it was soothing, and it forced his eyes to drift shut for a brief moment as he felt his worries slipping further and further away, getting caught up in just the relaxing feeling. as taemin retracted his hand, sunny lifted his heavy head, managing a smile. “ i’ll work on that. ” he said with a nod. just at the word gimbap, sunny’s stomach was sent into a frenzy of moans and cries for food, and he held a hand to it, pouting slightly and nodding his head. “ that sounds so good. ” he said, taking the chopsticks and awaiting his food excitedly. at the other’s words, sunny cast his gaze elsewhere. “ did you want me to stay ? ” he asked, unsure of the answer. it was true that sunny often couldn’t bring himself to part with taemin earlier than he needed to, but he felt like a hindrance because of it. recently, he had grown cautious of being too clingy with the other, so leaving early seemed like a good choice. maybe he was wrong.

[xhsunny-blog]

hardleytae:

tae smiled softly as he looked up from his phone shaking his head, he was ready to rip the person a new one, the lamp exploding scaring him senseless as he walked past to get to sunny’s table,“its fine love,” he said fondly finally making his way over and sitting down crossing one leg over the other as he did so, “sunny baby, you’ve got to stop forcing it. it’s harder when you’re trying to put all your attention on one thing and making yourself ‘just do it’. you’ve got to relax a bit.” tae probably didn’t know exactly if what he said made sense his own powers only consisted of mental enhancements and body modifications. he couldn’t actually manipulate anything but he’s had enough people in his life since he got to Jaeneung that did, sunny included. “take a little break yeah? i brought lunch.”

  “ when i don’t concentrate, i don’t have any control. ” he huffed, running a hand through his hair as he leaned his head on the desk in anguish. he was happy to see taemin, though. it provided him with some sense of comfort and calmness after being so stressed over trying to do what he was doing and scaring the other. he was glad it was taemin, since he was sure anyone else would not have reacted as well. “ maybe i should just give up. ” he mumbled, his forehead still pressed to the desk. he sighed, nodding reluctantly as he heard his stomach grumble. “ okay. but, a short one? i have to keep trying. ” he said persistently.

[houseofcardskrp-promo]

tai couldn’t help his smile at sunny’s retraction, he knew that the other wasn’t all black glass and flames like he painted himself to be. “it’s okay… i just wish you would stop pretending that you can’t like nice and soft things, you don’t ruin everything you touch like you think you to sunny-ah,” tai said honestly, biting into his bottom lip before hesitantly placing a hand on the others arm. “you’re welcome.”

[xhsunny-blog]

  “ i can’t let myself be ... vulnerable. ” he mumbled with a shrug, gripping the flowers and suppressing the smile he wanted to show in response to how happy the bright smell made him. “ or make others vulnerable to me. ” he continued. he looked back up at the other, managing a small smile in admiration. he really did love tai, but sunny’s attitude tended to push him away sometimes, which is something he hated about himself. sunny’s jumped slightly at the contact, but he didn’t push the other off. yeah, contact sent him into panic, but sunny was somewhat comfortable with taijin. plus, he saw his hand moving before it made contact with his skin, so it caused much less of a panic. sunny had tensed and froze in response to the touch, rigid in his discomfort, but he wasn’t rejecting the other, which was a step.

[kimhyejinx]

hyejin crossed her arms, reaching up to grab the book she wanted. it was a struggle, even in the heels she wore with her uniform and being on her toes it took a lot of maneuvering to get it down, but given the reaction that the patron gave she wasn’t going to ask for help. “yeah well, you should learn how to use your tone when you’re trying convey things to people.” she said quietly, turning the book over in her hand to make sure it was the right book, “it’s fine, i didn’t mean to be rude,” she said honestly, “it really is a good book, spoilers aside…you should read it.”

[xhsunny-blog]

  “ i don’t tend to ... talk to people. ” he explained, bowing his head in embarrassment although reluctant to show it. he instead nervously fondled the book in his hand, refusing to make eye contact with the other. “ it’s okay. ” he mumbled, pushing the book back on the shelf. “ i like surprises. ” he said with a nod, still nervous that he had said the wrong thing or spoken in the wrong tone yet again. the only person sunny tended to talk to before he was moved to jaeneung was his mother, and all he knew was the tones she took with him. conversation with normal people was never sunny’s forté.

[somixen-deactivated20170821]

 Her eyes widened a little bit when they both jumped away. “ I hurt you didn’t I?” Her knees started to wobble and her hands went to her hair. Mental breakdown. “I should go..” Somi walked away holding the bookcase as guidance.

[xhsunny-blog]

  “ no ... i just don’t like people touching me. ” he admitted with a shrug. “ nothing to do with you. ” he tried to explain. “ it’s a library. it’s for everyone. you don’t have to leave because of me. ” he shrugged, although seeing that the girl was already walking away, he simply sighed and turned back to the bookshelf, trying to calm himself down completely.

[xhsunny-blog]

anisuli:

once she’d spotted sunny and realised what he was trying to do suli let herself hang back, watching him for only a couple seconds before the light bulb burst, making her jump slightly. she understood what had happened all too well, and while she’d had many years to teach herself control of her powers, the girl still had very little actual control over any of them. she narrowed her eyes at sunny, deep in thought for a second, then striding over and sitting down next to him. no hello or any form of greeting before she asked “ what do you know of the physics of all of this? like actual electromagnetism ? “

  sunny sighed, running a hand through his hair and leaning back in his seat, simply staring at the device in defeat. “ not enough, apparently. ” he mumbled, sighing again. “ do you ? ” he asked curiously, although his tone seemed challenging. sunny had studied plenty about everything he could get his hands on, and his power was no exception to his knowledge. he tried to learn everything there was to learn, though it never seemed to help. it frustrated him to no end. his knowledge had to end somewhere, and there was only so much information he could absorb.

[kimhyejinx]

hyejin was taken a back by the others behavior. she already had issues with speaking to the general public and people like him were the reason why. she hadn’t said that the book ended with the tragic death of the love interest to completely spoil it, she had just mentioned how it wouldn’t be as happy-go-lucky as the book paints everything to be. and avid book reader herself, see: obsessed book reader, she felt like that comment would have striked up a conversation, not cause such a fit. “what are you on about? i didn’t tell you how it ended i was just making an observation you don’t have to be a prick about it.” though hyejin was noteably smaller than him, which was crazy in its own because looking at him, aside from broad shoulders he seemed to be small himself, and her personality came off as timid and soft, her bite came off stronger than her bark in most situations, especially one like this where she felt like she hadn’t done anything wrong.

[xhsunny-blog]

  sunny was never the best at talking to people. he was reserved, and often jumpy, not being able to catch his tone before his words escaped him, all generated just by how uncomfortable he felt. the boy winced at her words, his stomach dropping a little in panic and anxiety. “ i just meant ... it would have been more surprising that the ending was bad if-- ah, nevermind. ” he shook his head, keeping his eyes on the books; anywhere but on the other. “ sorry. ” he mumbled with his head down, still feeling his heart beat rapidly against his ribs. usually, sunny would have snapped back, but thinking back to how he had spoken, he was slightly regretful, and he wasn’t in the mood to argue with anybody today.

[houseofcardskrp-promo]

“don’t be silly sunny you love flowers….i give you the same ones every week and you always take them,” taijin frowned a bit biting his bottom lip looking down at the wilting lilies in his friends hand. “but,” his voice grew a bit small, and though he was a bit discouraged he knew sunny all too well. he didn’t really hate everything like he said he did, but for some reason anytime taijin tried to bring a little light in his life, no pun intended, he quickly diminished it. and though they were good friends, best friends even, sometimes he got a little pang in his chest when sunny rejected his efforts. “it’s fine, i’ll just…do something with them maybe turn them into book marks or something.” he admitted, though he knew he was going to do exactly that, give it to another patron to brighten their day because they deserved it.

[xhsunny-blog]

  “ n-no. ” sunny said quickly, pulling the flowers closer to him so that tai wouldn’t take them away. the moment he watched his friend’s expression fill with disappointment, sunny’s heart sank. he never meant to hurt the other. sunny never meant to hurt anyone, although somehow, he always managed to, and he would regret his tone as soon as he used it. “ s-sorry. ” he mumbled, rather sheepishly. “ i like them. i do. ” he nodded, trying to convince the other while hiding his embarrassment. “ thank you. ” he said in an almost whisper, managing a small, shy smile.

[xhsunny-blog]

  sunny sat himself at a desk in the common room, a small device in front of him and his chin resting in front of it, seeing it eye-to-eye. he hovered his hand above it, his tongue hanging out in concentration as he tried to manipulate the device with his power. sunny had extremely poor control over his powers, but he had been practicing. now, he wanted to test it. he focused on putting all the power into his fingers and depositing it into the device. for a few moments, he tried and tried, but he was interrupted by a lamp popping on the other side of the room, caused by sunny’s lack of control. looking over, he seemed to have spooked the person say beside it. “ shit. sorry, that was my fault. ”

[somixen-deactivated20170821]

Somi was walking near the library walls, looking for a book on demonic psychology. If she was honest, she had no clue where she’d look. Aimlessly, wondering the library in hopes because since they took super powered people. They’d surely have some books right? She accidentally bumped into someone, scared she retracted away her body. Just in case her poison was active. “I-I’m sorry!”   

[xhsunny-blog]

  sunny had had a phobia of physical contact for as long as he could remember. it wasn’t a fear of hurting people, although he had shocked a few people in the past, but it was mostly just something that came with his developing anxiety as he grew up. so, naturally, the moment he felt another person on him, he was quick to pull away, his heart suddenly racing and his breath being held in his lungs. after putting some distance between the two, he breathed out deeply and calmed. “ it’s fine, just ... don’t do it again. ”

[houseofcardskrp-promo]

Taijin smiled brightly, the bouquet held tightly in his hand. This wasn’t abnormal, monday morning was always hard for everyone and Tai had taken it upon himself to pass out bright colored flowers in the morning. They were his favorite thing, and he brought a new variety from work every week. “Here you go, there almost gone and I know you like them so I may or may not have hunted you down to give it to you,” he blushed softly, lavender eyes pulled into slits with his smile, “I hope you like them.”

[xhsunny-blog]

  “ are you serious ? ” sunny frowned at his friend, the colourful flowers now in his hand, contrasting completely with the boy’s demeanor. “ i don’t ... like flowers. ” he grumbled, although it was a lie. as sunny help them in his hand and watched his best friend’s adorable expression, it suddenly became hard to suppress a smile and not become flustered. “ give them to someone else, tai. ” he told you other, the corner of his lips turning up slightly as the speech made it even more difficult to stop.