INCORRECT YIXING QUOTES

I'm a reporter for Mister Zhang Yixing. I only report big dic energy moments

[xinglostcontrol]

ok. don’t get mad.

Don’t get mad. Don’t get mad. I just want to ask you boys something. If anyone... ANYONE is intersted in buying Lay pcs, or Lay dolls, or anything EXO and one BTS Jimin photo.... PLS.... PLS OMG I CAN’T stress this enough, PLSSSSSSSSSS Check this twitter. It’s definitely not meeeee ahahahahahaha mmm....

https://twitter.com/Francis78233351

I’m selling my Kpop merch so I can afford quotes on my car so I can go down to KSU to visit my cute boyfriend and basically make sure he actually studies and not watch memes all day and youtube like he does when we do dates up here. Omg have i told you guys I got a boyfriend? Ah fuck it’s been so long since I’ve been on here i forgot. Yeah ya girl got a boyfriend... heheheh, and OMG he’s so adorable. I used to think I would definitely get with a guy like Yixing, but nope. My boyfriend is NOT like Yixing at all. Well... somewhat i guess. Ok,okokokok you guys don’t care about that stuff. Sorry. But yes. pls check it out, share, that would be much appreciated 

[xinglostcontrol]

been a hot minute you guys

oof. this... this is dead isn’t it... god damn

[xinglostcontrol]

Yixing: *gets hit by a car* AHHHHHHHHH!!! *rolls*

Junmyeon: Yixing!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! Yixing! Are you okay?! *Rushes over*

Yixing: *coughs blood* Junmyeon... I'm... dying...

Junmyeon: No... Hi dying... I'm Junmyeon...

Yixing: *sobs* *cringes* END ME PLEASE! END MY SUFFERING

[xinglostcontrol]

Jongin: *walks in wearing cameo* Hey, Sehun

Sehun: Hey Jong- OH MY GOD WHY GOD WHERE'S YOUR BODY?!

Jongin: WHAT WHAT?! *pats self* WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

Sehun: YOUR BODY IS INVISIBLE! I CANT SEE IT!!

Jongin: OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO?!

Sehun: *stands up* Don't worry. Leave this up to me

-20 minutes later

Yixing: *washing body* *looks up to see Sehun and Jongin wearing cameo paint* ... It doesn't work like that guys-

[jongdaesuwu]

Hey. It’s ya gorl

In case you probably don’t know my name, I’m Francis. Just some gorl posting memes for the Bois to get a good laugh. First off, 700!!! this page is my second most followed, making me a bit uneasy and pressured to give good quality content tbh lol. But thank you guys so much!!! ♥️♥️♥️😭 I’ll make sure to be funnier for the future!

I’ve become inactive for various reasons. Like I haven’t focused on my own health and how I devoured myself into eating for comfort(I’ve gained all my weight back so 👏🏼😭 so I’m sad now), how stressed I am about living the adult life, my work and dreams. It’s all just painful for me. However, I decided to return after realizing that I still wanted to spread EXO’s name and be there before they leave for enlistment. I’ve reactivated my accounts and decided to meme away! If any of you guys have Twitter or Instagram, I am @xinglostcontrol on both sites! It’ll be hard to run my accounts again since it’s been months since my last posts but hopefully, I will be fine. Oh no, that’s embarrassing to even ask. Or even promote. Its being selfish! I’m sorry if anyone gets the wrong idea!

[xinglostcontrol]

Jongin: Did you know that you can't breathe and smile at the same time?

Yixing: Really? *Smiles and breathes* Weird... I just did that.

Jongin: Yeah I know. I just want to see your cute smile *wink*

Yixing: *blushes and sighs deeply*... I appreciate you being flirtatious, but we're in the hospital to support Chanyeol who got hit by the bus. Now isn't the time-

[xinglostcontrol]

Sehun: *introducing Yixing to his friends* This is my ex.

Yixing: Stop telling everyone that!

Yixing: *sticks out his hand* Hi, I'm his husband

[xinglostcontrol]

Yixing: I want someone who can cook for me and make me feel loved

Sehun: I'll cook for you and make you feel loved

Yixing: Sehun, you can't boil water and you make me feel stressed. Please.

[xinglostcontrol]

I love you all

❤️❤️❤️ Y'all we made it pass 600... I want you all to know I love you guys so much ❤️❤️❤️ I actually feel funny and a tad bit inappropriate since I'm sure some of you guys are 15 while I make inappropriate jokes... Which I should not be doing... But anyways, I love you all so much! I'll try to respond to anything you guys tag me in, but my main: @soospengiun always pops up instead of this, but just know I appreciate you all and wish you all to be in good health!!

[xinglostcontrol]

Yixing: *knocking on Sehun's new home* Hey are you in there Sehun?

Sehun: Yixing? What the hell are you doing?

Yixing: Well, I'm here because you're under arrest.

Sehun: *opens door* Wait, for what? *Frown*

Yixing: *holding Bible and pamphlet* For living in sin, you silly goose! *Hands pamphlet* Now how about you join me for chruch this coming Sunday?

Sehun:

Sehun: What the fuck did they teach you in America?

[xinglostcontrol]

At a party-

Mark: So, Hyung... What are you supposed to be?

Yixing: Isn't it obvious? I'm a dinosaur! *Makes a face*

Mark: Not so scary to me *laughs*

Yixing: I am! I swear I am! I can even roar! *Roars cutely*

Mark: *Snickers* That's not- *looks up to see Sehun glaring darkly at him*... That's so scary I peed my pants

Yixing: Don't overreact, Mark- Oh my God you did pee your pants

[xinglostcontrol]

Hey guys...

Just experiences real cunts today. This couple began making a fuss because they couldn't use their 20.00 coupon on their meal. Okay, let me tell you why they couldn't use it.

* Their meal is fucking 17.20. You can only use the coupon on meals that's worth 20 or more.

* They ordered off the special menu. That's where our cheap meals are at.

* The coupon is ONLY valid for meal ordered off of the REGULAR menu. NOT the SPECIAL menu.

After telling them this, the customers demanded to change their order just so they could use it. My co worker Suki called our manager to tell him the fuss they're creating and for him to talk to them. Our manager agreed to change up their order LIKE THEY (the customers) SAID TO DO. When we did, their total came up to 22.90. after using the coupon, they had to pay 2.90. This bitch yells "What a fuckin rip off!" It's not a fucking ripoff. We even have a sign that says all the shit I listed off and it's fucking three dollars... Not 30, 3!!! Then she goes on to say "Let's leave, I can't with THESE people!" (Wtf does that mean? I can't help but get pissed off at that) Her husband stays back to scold us for doing our fucking job, saying we should have a sign for people to see. First, there is a fucking sign at the entrance. Second, it's three dollars... Get over yourself.

But what saddens me the most was my co worker Suki, was just apologizing and apologizing. She didn't do anything wrong, but these cunts were getting on to her for doing her job... I tried to tell them they couldn't do it, but then back off because there was no getting through them....

Today was just not the day... Sorry, I just had to rant

[xinglostcontrol]

EXO: *running around*

Suho: Come on people! Pick up the fucking pace!

Jongdae: How about instead of yelling, you help out us out?

Suho: *Takes off slipper* I swear, I will beat you-

Kai: He's here!!! Places everyone!

EXO: *running to front door*

Kyungsoo: You guys are blocking my view!

Baekhyun: How about growing a few inches, hm?

Chanyeol: Shut up! He's coming!

Yixing: *walks in* I'm home-

EXO: Happy birthday!!!

Minseok: *blows noise maker* WHOOP WHOOP! FUCK YEAH!

Jongdae: He's drunk, ignore him.

Yixing: You guys shouldn't have! *Smiles* Where's Sehun?

Sehun: *walks out in a dress* Here~ *squeaky voice*

Yixing:

Sehun: I got something for you~ *winks awkwardly* In the bedroom~

Yixing: *sighs* You guys really shouldn't have *rubs temple*

[xinglostcontrol]

EXO: *working on album*

Suho: What time is it? When is he coming?

Jongin: He said he'll show up right when he lands in Korea-

Yixing: *kicks door open* Yo yo man, I'm back! *Poses* Let this shit get started! WHOOP WHOOP

Suho: What did you say? *Slowly slides slipper off*

Jongin: *stops Suho* Someone has tainted him with American fuckboi vocabulary

[xinglostcontrol]

Yixing: Happy birthday~ 我爱你~

Jongdae: Aw thanks- Wait. *Pulls out phone*

Yixing: *watches* ...

Jongdae: *looks up Google translate* You want to eat my ass?

Yixing: What? No! I said I love you!

Jongdae: That's not what Google says...

Yixing:

Yixing: Fuck it. It's your birthday.

[xinglostcontrol]

500

I was going to title this .5k but then I thought it was silly to do so. But anywhoooo~ 500 guys!!! Whoop whoop!!! This is amazing! Thanks for liking and reblogging my content! I have been slacking on jokes since I'm so busy.. and because I'm not so funny... Anyways thanks so much again!!!

[xinglostcontrol]

Sehun: *sneezes loudly*

Yixing: *stares*

Sehun: *stares back*

Yixing: Is that big dick energy?

Sehun:

Sehun: Yes-