Ghost Stories (2000) Quotes Starter List
âBut thatâs not the problem. Sheâs playing video games with the TV off!âÂ
âOK, Iâm sorry. When are you gonna need another dramatic plot point until you decide to whip out that damn ghost book!?â
âNow remember kids, just say no⌠to everything.â
âWhy donât you go bomb an abortion clinic or something?"Â
"When this bitch kicks, Iâm movinâ to Vegas.â
âThis is what I get for skipping PE class⌠and my Liquid Paper habitâŚâ
âOh, [Name], letâs sing! Jesus loves me- COME ON, YOU KNOW THE WORDS!â
âThe internet was a blessing from the Lord Jesusâ
âSo, if thereâs one gy and four hookers, how many years in prison?â
âHoly pre-Parkinsonâs Michael J. Fox Christopher Lloyd Back To The Future plot ripoff device! Whereâs my Delorean?â
âMy B.S. Detectorâs goinâ DING! I can read. Not well, but I can read! And THOSE! LETTERS! ARE! BACKWARDS!â
"And in the movies, this would be the part where I foolishly trust you not to kill me. âŚAnd stick my hand in the cage!â
âDeadbeat dads are not cool!â
âI come from a long line of quasi-lesbian ghost killers! Iâm not afraid of your ugly draggy ass!â
âHey, wait a minuteâŚwhy didnât you guys bring me any candy? Or flowers? Are you even my friends?? Get out.â
âThe number you have dialed is no longer in service. HEY! Maybe if theyâd pay their fucking phone bill, you could call again!"Â
"Sure it might be blue now, but soon it will be redder than Republican Texas.â
âHoly crack addicts, it hit the gym!â
âGod, you are the ugliest fucking kids Iâve ever had the misfortune of ever laying my eyes on.â
âWhat are you talking about? Oh my goodness, do I need to get back on my medications? Tell me, are my eyes red?â
âYou know what I hear? I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up!â
â[Name]? Aint no [Name] living here, so what?. Get your crack head ass head into some rehab, I aint got time for this bullâŚâ
"I used a ouija board once to contact a dead hooker I saw on the newsâ
âVerizonâŚLike Jesus, it never stops working for you.âÂ
âWake up! Satan is trying to kill us!â
âLord, reveal your salvation, since I am your favorite among these heathensâ
"Thereâs nothing to be afraid of [Name]. Monsters only get evil people like republicans, and weâre not old enough to vote!â
âLord forgive me for that satanic ritual!â
âNothing great about it, itâs just like living next to Charlie Sheenâ
âWhat does âbootyliciousâ mean?â
âNice to know a new dealer, yo.â
âSo Iâm nailing this midget when my mom walks inâŚâ
âToss me a coupla pairs of those painties and weâre evenâ
âBut are lights and the phone strangely and suddenly going out never a good sign?â
âListen! you flashed me! Remember that!â
âDue to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be canceledâ
âGet back in here or youâll get your head chopped off!â
âOpen your books and turn to page whatever!â
âThe real problem is that demon thatâs pulling a Linda Blair with my cat. I donât suppose you know any exorcists, or Al Sharpton?â
â Iâm still poor and flat-chested.â