Iām rereading a fic of yours and saw a āno spamming emojisā authors note. I donāt understand whatās bad about heart emojis to show I love the fic? Other than āgood storyā idk how to convey I liked the fic and to me āgood storyā sounds dismissive while like 5 heart emojis shows love. What is about some emojis that make you anxious? I just would like to understand better /gen
Oh boy, prepare for long text.
It's more a me a thing, I'm veeeery anxious, to the point of making myself sick every day <X"D like throwing up kind of thing, every time I post a new chapter I'm waiting for comments to see how people liked it, to point out little details I put there to be noticed, that already makes me very anxious lol and while nobody is obligated to comment, whenever someone comment and shows into my inbox I get anxious to read them thinking "oh my god what did they think? did I fuck up? did they like it? did I left too many typos I didn't notice?" and then boom emoji comment with nothing else written, I understand people can have difficult making a comment and I usually don't mind short comments or emoji heart comments, but my anxiety really makes it terrible to deal with it.
And I do take meds for depression and anxiety, image if I didn't fdsfdfs I've never noticed I was this anxious until I started writing fanfics, every new comment in my inbox makes me anxious cuz I'm afraid of disappointing my readers, and when I open it only to see heart emojis I get kinda jumpscare? It's really weird X"D
It's kind hard to explain, so here, I do have misophonia, repetitive noise annoys me top the point it makes me cry or snap at people around me, I have a dog (love her aside from this btw) every time she used to bark, I could be looking at her, I knew she would bark, but the momment she barked I would feel my hear skip a beat and get cold and sweaty, the meds helped a lot with that and I'm more resistant to noise now.
So in this case it's like this: I know I'm going to receive a comment in the new chapter, the inbox number of messages goes up, I get anxious and click to see what it is, expecting inumerous possiblities of comments that could make me either happy or sad, then boom! heart emoji, I get a little startled and a bit pissed off cuz I was expecting words that could change my mood XD
So tbh I don't mind heart emojis, I quite think they are sweet, but when I'm being too anxious it really annoys me, it's nobody's fault, not even mine, I'm just an anxious ball ready to explode at any momment lol
Something about the spam emoji is, a while ago, I was receiving emoji heart from the same person in every single chapter of every single fanfic and it got me so snappy I had to block them cuz I asked them to stop and they kept doing it :"^)
I stopped asking people to not comment the heart emojis cuz I know people tend to ignore my request, and I asked my therapist to get me a higher dose on my meds, a few months ago, so at the momment the heart emojis comments don't bother that much.
In the end I got a really pissy reader who made some complaints about me being a horrible person in a bookmark of my fic lol I just really was tired of getting anxious about a literal emoji lol
But as I said, strongers med and I seem to be okay lately with heart emojis.
*stares at that one friend who thinks I'm autistic, that's probably reading this* shhh this proves nothing.
