——————————— 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 .
it’s something he’s fond of ; she learned this even before his downfall . &&. though it took some time to put together , knowing his reaction made the effort on her part all the more worthwhile . porters had a bad habit of losing cargo — medical supplies , food , books . if they needed it — with a little digging , it wasn’t hard to come by . he’s sleeping now , it gives her a good opportunity to give his gift its finishing touches before leaving to meet up with david in the medical wing . waiting for him , on the table sits a journal : inscribed along the inner lining of the cover — your future holds so much promise : that all the past pales in comparison . that said , it’s time to make new memories . you have my support , respect &&. deepest love . &&. remember , no matter what — i will always be there for you .
having read the inscription for the fifth time , higgs could only stroke the spine of the journal , now closed , thoughts idling on how he could have been so lucky ; fortune had favored him despite everything . it felt like cheating , really . like maybe this wasn’t his to have &&. he was perhaps holding onto this precious thing until someone better came along . these were things already gently touched on , though , as zofia had already said her peace on the matter . higgs would never understand her decision but it was just like zofia : her heart was always in a good place , tact notwithstanding .
cracking open the journal again after having stared at it for some time , he flipped to the first fresh page &&. pushed pen to paper : she isn’t here right now , &&. i suspect she intended to be away for this . it is quite personal , the gift &&. heartfelt message . this almost closeted affection is very like her — like us . she continues to find ways to make me wonder about her , &&. of course i mean that in the best way possible . it continues to make me wonder why , though . to this day . she’ll always disagree when i say it , so i don’t even bother saying it aloud anymore but , i don’t deserve her . it’s hard to feel like i do when i know what i’ve put her through . call it guilt . my feeling of joy is always caught in this under-toe of doubt while waves of iniquity wash over me until i’m near drowning .
still , she is my rock &&. i’m thankful for her tenacity . or rather , her stubbornness . i wouldn’t be here today in the way that i am were it not for her . if nothing else , i am grateful .
zofia , i can only hope the memories i make are with you . your unwavering support , respect , &&. of course your deepest love ease the tedium that is life . i know my past self wouldn’t believe it if i told him that he will love &&. be loved deeply , unequivocally . i hardly believe it myself . i promise to , if nothing else , be there for you . thank you . ♥
turnnoffyourmind
dededos
theartofmadeline
titsay
2087
