Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@theartofmadeline
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@xiongsi
stopped doing these for a long while but i’m picking the tradition back up again, so! this is just a small thanks to you all, new & old alike, who are showing interest in this blog and this grouchy, old simulacrum ( despite some of you not even knowing a single thing about apex legends or the titanfall universe ), and are helping this blog grow ♡ i know activity isn’t always high here given the state of the fandom, itself, but i’d like to eventually change that — so i look forward to hopefully getting to interact with more of you soon!
* & 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐗 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ( aka what remains of the fandom rn ):
@enccrypted / @deathchasing / @wittyillusion / @trackr / @corrodent / @psycchout / @blodhundr / @saveslife / @illusionage / @afraidofchange / @holowitted / @starsacred.
* & 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄 ( aka those of you who may or may not know what apex is but are here anyways and i appreciate you ):
@arklayruins / @dettroit / @wholeads / @trcstfunded / @galaxyguarded / @fractempyreal / @mtchstck / @renzao / @griimreaping / @becomedeviant / @soldierwatch / @fearsworn / @puazo / @programregulator / @piraticalwit / @goldgliitters / @jericholeader / @undyeth / @enfils / @devilglow / @herobiote / @agonybow / @xiongsi / @carvedbones + literally everyone i’m following.
The berth surrounding my body , crushing every bit of bone The salt , it seeps in through the pores of my open skin I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue sea I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue Welcome to my cage , little lover Attempt to rearrange with you , baby Still don’t know your name , Miss Honey Let’s go up in flames , pretty lady The sweet surrender of silence , forces me to live alone Locked and loaded , where the hell is peace of mind ? I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue sea I wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue
𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑆𝐿𝐼𝐶𝐸, 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍, 𝐼𝑇 𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑆𝑃𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑆 𝑂𝑈𝑇.
independent + private 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓 from apex legends. heavily headcanon based. as scripted by 𝒋𝒂𝒚. ©
My mother , she told me “ Don't get in trouble ” My father , he told me He knew I would
My brothers , they told me “ Don't give a damn ” My sister , she told me To do something good
I'm uncontrollable , emotional , chaotically proportional I'm visceral , re-loadable I'm crazy , I'm crazy , I'm crazy , I'm crazy
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted , twisted
My mother , she told me “ Don't be a quitter ” My father , he told me He knew I was
My brothers , they told me “ Do what you do ” My sister , she told me To do something good
We’re all of us a part of the Death Stranding . And this place , this 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 “ Beach ” … there’s no repatriation here , no . One of us dies , that’s it . He goes to the other side . Nice , 𝙝𝙪𝙝 ? Lucky loser gets to put an end to this 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚎-𝚊𝚗𝚍-𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝖇𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖙 once and for all .
𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄. 𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄. 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙶𝚂 𝙼𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙶𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗
𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄? a string of 𝓼𝔂𝓵𝓵𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓼; a 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚛 woven together. in my line of work, i am 𝖚𝖓𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖎𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊 — 𝒂 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕. REDACTED. so, when they ask, “ what is your name? ” the answer is rather 𝚜̲𝚒̲𝚖̲𝚙̲𝚕̲𝚎̲ —————— 𝐈 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
𝐱
——————————— 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 .
⇀ 𝐙𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐙𝐀𝐊:
it’s something he’s fond of ; she learned this even before his downfall . &&. though it took some time to put together , knowing his reaction made the effort on her part all the more worthwhile . porters had a bad habit of losing cargo — medical supplies , food , books . if they needed it — with a little digging , it wasn’t hard to come by . he’s sleeping now , it gives her a good opportunity to give his gift its finishing touches before leaving to meet up with david in the medical wing . waiting for him , on the table sits a journal : inscribed along the inner lining of the cover — your future holds so much promise : that all the past pales in comparison . that said , it’s time to make new memories . you have my support , respect &&. deepest love . &&. remember , no matter what — i will always be there for you .
yours , zofia .
⇀ 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐍:
having read the inscription for the fifth time , higgs could only stroke the spine of the journal , now closed , thoughts idling on how he could have been so lucky ; fortune had favored him despite everything . it felt like cheating , really . like maybe this wasn’t his to have &&. he was perhaps holding onto this precious thing until someone better came along . these were things already gently touched on , though , as zofia had already said her peace on the matter . higgs would never understand her decision but it was just like zofia : her heart was always in a good place , tact notwithstanding .
cracking open the journal again after having stared at it for some time , he flipped to the first fresh page &&. pushed pen to paper : she isn’t here right now , &&. i suspect she intended to be away for this . it is quite personal , the gift &&. heartfelt message . this almost closeted affection is very like her — like us . she continues to find ways to make me wonder about her , &&. of course i mean that in the best way possible . it continues to make me wonder why , though . to this day . she’ll always disagree when i say it , so i don’t even bother saying it aloud anymore but , i don’t deserve her . it’s hard to feel like i do when i know what i’ve put her through . call it guilt . my feeling of joy is always caught in this under-toe of doubt while waves of iniquity wash over me until i’m near drowning .
still , she is my rock &&. i’m thankful for her tenacity . or rather , her stubbornness . i wouldn’t be here today in the way that i am were it not for her . if nothing else , i am grateful .
zofia , i can only hope the memories i make are with you . your unwavering support , respect , &&. of course your deepest love ease the tedium that is life . i know my past self wouldn’t believe it if i told him that he will love &&. be loved deeply , unequivocally . i hardly believe it myself . i promise to , if nothing else , be there for you . thank you . ♥
Talking to the mirror like I’ve seen them somewhere before You said I look familiar Did we meet the other night ?
Somebody once told me that there’s two sides to life What’s yours ? I might have accidentally let the darkness eat the light And that’s why
I prayed , I prayed God sent me right to voicemail It’s like all day My vanity is for sale Take it away My head is in my own Hell
Sing to me I am not doing well Getting tired of my own words Sing to me ‘Cause I can’t hear myself Through the loudness of my own words Call me selfish when I say this , say this I’m kind of helpless and I need you Sing to me ‘Cause I’m not doing well
Somebody told me that there’s two sides to this life I think I might have chosen darkness over light