oh my god someone please kill me ha ha
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@xlxjosix
oh my god someone please kill me ha ha
i’m really cute if you look away from the fact that i’m insane
some days i’m healing and some days i break again.
— Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Jean-Paul Sartre
need to be ripped apart and left like that for a few days i think
In the mood to delete everything and go missing .
instead of a brain there is a mini haunted house in my head
"Well, of course I've tried lavender. And pulling my memory out, ribbonlike and dripping. And shrieking into my pillow. And writing the poems. And making more friends. And baking warm brown cookies. And therapy. And intimacy. And pictures of rainbows. And all of the movies about lovers and the terrible things they do to each other. And watching the ones in other languages. And leaving the subtitles off. And listening to the language. And forgetting my name. And feeling the dirt on my skin. And screaming in the shower. And changing my shampoo. And living alone. And cutting my hair. And buying a turtle. And petting the cat. And traveling. And writing more poems. And touching a different body. And digging a grave. And digging a grave. Of course, I've tried it. Of course I have."
— september is a weary month, yasmin belkhyr
"i'm fine" *disappears in the fog and is never found again*
Some days I don’t want to exist. I’m not suicidal, but I really just want to be not here anymore.
Trapped in my own memories
“I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”
— Stephanie Lennox, I Don’t Remember You
the intimacy of communicating and fixing things together >>>>>
You are not what happened to you. You didn't deserve to go through all that. You deserved to be loved, to feel safe, to be safe. You deserved kindness. Patience. You deserved better.
Krass wie man im Leben einfach weiter macht obwohl man sich selbst schon lange aufgegeben hat.